“In loving memory of Stinky A. Fly, who was tragically hit by the metallic speed monster”

That is the best one I have seen!!

I once volunteered to work with some kids, and this one kid sat on my lap and told me he wished I was dead. Those kindergartners are so darn cute.

Be happy with yourself!

And on the way out my attacker is further caught up in all the bags I have by the door to use for shopping that I am planning on taking out to the car someday.

All part of the show

Upvote for distressed-looking possum!

and people say there is no customer service these days

The shag carpet really needs 8 lb carpet padding

Or a boss

Brain full of microplastics for the win!

With that 70’s stache he is

Greed is horrible

I'm not sure anyone really knows, except maybe LeBron James.

Says Dr. Big Honkin Jugs, HA!

I bought a reversable woollen capelet at an op shop little while ago. First time I wore it my sister said 'are you all rich now or something' and I have to admit it does look extravagant and is a brand I could never afford to buy new.

My PMS. 🤬😠😡

This is my brother. Never met a serious situation he wouldn't laugh at.

The more you foock around, the harder it is not to be found out.

Seriously!

Guys, I heard the funniest theory about the Austrian painter. When he was in prison with his best friend Rudolf Hess, neither of them got the idea to write a book. It was suggested to Hitler by other inmates who were sick and tired of listening to his mad ramblings. I, as a lifelong victim of nonconsensual monologues, completely understand that.

STFU!

If I ever get as far as "un huh" just know that i checked out of the conversation.

And numerous "I've got to get going" or "Well I've taken up enough of your time"

lol....damn talkative customers who wont go away.....

I have finally just started ending these interactions by going, 'I'm sorry, but I am filled with the urge to defecate...' It works in a hurry.

This comment has been deleted.

It probably wouldn't even take all of 15 minutes, but am I ever going to actually find out? Probably not.

In love

Don't let her OCD damage your self-esteem. Disarray can be a sign of mental health.

Were you married to Louis Prima?

The Shark

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I need to mentally prepare. And there needs to be consequences for NOT showing up, otherwise I'm never coming by EVER.

I'm the last Americans pictured 😳.... Can't we all just get along?

So that's why everyone is so uptight these days...distractions pulling us in all directions driving us insane.

Pelishutthehellup

Burn.

Me too, God, me too.

This hit way too close to home

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$1.99 on Temu!

AtMostAFabulist

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I am a strong person and this is a learning experience.

She is probably an archeologist.

Honesty is the most important part of any relationship.

Dammit, now I need a lizard, a cat, a dog, a bear and a T-Rex. I don't know why I complained about the fly. Perhaps I'll buy a sandwich.

And soap. That distressed me.

I like to name them and give them a backstory, because it just feels better when it feels personal.

A former friend of mine got her nipples pierced and while paying with her cat the animal got entangled with her claws through the shirt with the piercing... I stopped her there and then, the mental picture was painful enough

I’d rather be a ghost.

Every little kid thinks that's what you need to run away from home

Or in my case "why can't you be more like your sister"

Sing it sister!!!😢

I don’t get it?

Okay i am really dumb what

???

Double Dare! Loved that show!

With no spaces.