Nobody deserves being rejected. First off, the world is cruel enough. And second, there’s a fair share of karma involved in it. If you ever reject someone, the chances are the same thing will come to you as a boomerang when you least expect it. In a parallel reality, everyone would have a reciprocal “It’s a match!”
But being told ‘sorry’ by your love interest is surely much more complex than that. And the best way to take a glimpse into humanity’s hurt souls is to look at what people have to say themselves.
So when Twitter user Eden Dranger posed the question “What was your harshest rejection?” it resonated with many, amassing 4,173 retweets and 67.6K likes.
So let’s get ready for a brutal, yet sometimes funny, other times plain odd, roller coaster ride featuring the stories of rejection as told by the ones who know what they’re saying.
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To find out more about dealing with harsh rejection, Bored Panda reached out to Kate Mansfield, an acclaimed dating and relationship coach based in London, UK. Kate told that the way rejection psychologically affects us vary from person to person. “Rejection can have a profound or a mild effect, depending on the psychological state, the past trauma, and the personality of the person,” she explained.
“At its worst, it can cause extreme feelings of worthlessness and even depression. It can cause the person to withdraw from relationships and to stay alone. Or, to feel not good enough and low self-esteem.”
Meanwhile, people with healthy self-esteem and confidence, are usually mildly affected. This is “because they have a solid sense of self-worth already,” Kate explained.
When asked about the ways to deal with being rejected, Kate suggested working on your self-esteem and understanding that it’s nothing to do with you, and usually, it’s not personal.
“Try to feel grateful, because the one thing worse than being rejected is to stay in a relationship with someone who doesn't really love you. That is rejection on a daily basis, and causes extreme loneliness.”
Let's just hope that they are able to put him behind bars for his part in the siege of the capitol.
Whatever people say, rejection hurts. Bottom line. It doesn’t matter which point of a relationship you’re at—being told "I am sorry, but" is something none of us want to hear. Emotional responses by anyone who’s experienced it are confirmed by researchers, and they range from feeling jealous to anxious and lonely.
But since rejection has a lot to do with self-worth and self-image, oftentimes the pain of it is directly linked to how you validate yourself. Often people look for external and not internal forces to feel validated, which makes them vulnerable to setbacks. What if we simply haven't learned to love ourselves enough?
Being rejected by someone you love can really turn even the strongest of us into emotional train wrecks. But in many cases, we tend to idealize both the person and the relationship, as we only remember good times and emotions.
Such behavior is usually unconscious, but it nevertheless doesn’t show the full picture of what you really feel hurt about.
Interestingly, friendship rejections can often be even more painful than romantic ones. Beverly Flaxington, a life and career coach, says to remember that while a friendship’s end can be painful, it’s also normal for friends to come and go.
Say it with flowers, say it with diamonds, but never say it with ink.
On the other hand, if you still feel like you're missing that person and that friendship in your life, Lexington suggests “reaching out to see if the person wants to get together.” In fact, timing may be crucial as it gives a whole new perspective of the friendship and the people we surround ourselves with.
After some time has passed and if you find yourself missing that person and that friendship, Flaxington suggests reaching out to see if the person wants to get together. Timing is key here. Time can allow people to approach a friendship with a new perspective, she notes
Wow. Well f**k Kavanaugh and f**k your ex husband. I hope you've since found someone who appreciates a bad@$$ like you.
According to Lori Gottlieb, M.F.T., psychotherapist, "When somebody rejects us, there's a very primal piece to it, which is that it goes against everything we feel like we need for survival."
But beyond the evolutionary standpoint, our responses to rejection vary greatly as they really depend on the models in which we develop our relationships with people. Those with insecure attachment styles in contrast to secure ones are likely to experience much greater pain from rejection.
Stripping is sex work, and a lot of guys have difficulty separating the fantasy woman from the actual human being. Not excusing this jackass in any way, but as in most any job it’s best to not date the customers/clientele.
When I got home from a date with my boyfriend I found a message on my answering machine. The jerk didn't want to break up with me in person, so he left it on my answering machine
I don't know why you've been downvoted for this. I'll give you an upvote! :-)
Load More Replies...When I was in year 7, I was asked out by this boy in my class whom I REALLY liked, to go on a date with his best friend and his girlfriend and we decided to meet up at the cinema. I was waiting for ages and as we eventually missed the start of the film, I made the decision to go home. Their plan all along was to not show up. Also, two boys in my class were basically a double act and would ask me out all the time as a joke. I would always say no but didn't realise it was a joke. The whole year knew about it and would point and laugh to my face but they'd never say why . I was the only brown girl at my school so felt left out enough as it was.
What is year 7? I hope you are not at that school anymore and are around people that appreciate how great you really are.
Load More Replies...In highschool, I was the stage manager for most shows that went on our stage. A true backstage builder. In my senior year, I was running auditions for the Spring show and I was reading the material and thought "Hell I could probably sing this..." and I auditioned for fun. I figured maaaaybe I'd get a callback but wouldn't get the part so who cares. I did end up getting a call back, and it was down to this one gal Christine and myself. I got the part - I sang better than she did. All of the other seniors in the show threatened to quit if she wasn't given the part. And when they wouldn't change it, they all quit. Usually the Spring show was like 90% seniors, it was like their big farewell and they all quit because of me. They ended up switching the show, and I kept a lead, and was one of maybe 3 seniors in the final production. I remember telling my parents about it and the horrified look on my dad's face that people could be so mean. High-schoolers really are assholes.
This is awful. But I'm glad you got to keep your part. Those people missed out on their last high school production just for spite. Think about all those students who have lost their final years of high school because of Covid. And your classmates willingly threw that experience away.
Load More Replies...When I got home from a date with my boyfriend I found a message on my answering machine. The jerk didn't want to break up with me in person, so he left it on my answering machine
I don't know why you've been downvoted for this. I'll give you an upvote! :-)
Load More Replies...When I was in year 7, I was asked out by this boy in my class whom I REALLY liked, to go on a date with his best friend and his girlfriend and we decided to meet up at the cinema. I was waiting for ages and as we eventually missed the start of the film, I made the decision to go home. Their plan all along was to not show up. Also, two boys in my class were basically a double act and would ask me out all the time as a joke. I would always say no but didn't realise it was a joke. The whole year knew about it and would point and laugh to my face but they'd never say why . I was the only brown girl at my school so felt left out enough as it was.
What is year 7? I hope you are not at that school anymore and are around people that appreciate how great you really are.
Load More Replies...In highschool, I was the stage manager for most shows that went on our stage. A true backstage builder. In my senior year, I was running auditions for the Spring show and I was reading the material and thought "Hell I could probably sing this..." and I auditioned for fun. I figured maaaaybe I'd get a callback but wouldn't get the part so who cares. I did end up getting a call back, and it was down to this one gal Christine and myself. I got the part - I sang better than she did. All of the other seniors in the show threatened to quit if she wasn't given the part. And when they wouldn't change it, they all quit. Usually the Spring show was like 90% seniors, it was like their big farewell and they all quit because of me. They ended up switching the show, and I kept a lead, and was one of maybe 3 seniors in the final production. I remember telling my parents about it and the horrified look on my dad's face that people could be so mean. High-schoolers really are assholes.
This is awful. But I'm glad you got to keep your part. Those people missed out on their last high school production just for spite. Think about all those students who have lost their final years of high school because of Covid. And your classmates willingly threw that experience away.
Load More Replies...