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Our perspective on the world is shaped every day by everything we consciously and subconsciously see and experience. Some core ideas form in our minds that are rarely challenged later in life. But they should be. The general idea of 'right and wrong' that we see so often growing up doesn't really continue into the real world. Bad things happen to good people, bad people often face no repercussions for their actions: reality is harsh.

One Reddit user wanted to see what other 'hard to swallow' truths people have already learned. Over 31k people had something to say, sharing things that are difficult to accept, but are the actual reality once you step out of the dream world.

Bored Panda picked out the top raw and honest answers that are better to learn later than never. Scroll down and upvote your favorites, and make sure to share your thoughts; maybe you disagree with some of them? And if we're still missing out on some 'harsh realities', please tell us in the comments below!

#1

People Are Sharing "Harsh Realities" That No One Wants To Accept, And Here's 29 Of The Most Insightful Ones Hard work doesn't always pay off.

y_notavailable , Andrea Piacquadio Report

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Колю Майката
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's the avocado toast's fault!!1!1!!! Not the fact that rich people get richer by stealing poor people's money, we totally don't do that!!1!!1!1 /s

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#2

People Are Sharing "Harsh Realities" That No One Wants To Accept, And Here's 29 Of The Most Insightful Ones Bad things will happen to you for no reason.

Burnt_Smurf , MART PRODUCTION Report

#3

People Are Sharing "Harsh Realities" That No One Wants To Accept, And Here's 29 Of The Most Insightful Ones Some people just can’t be saved, you could give them every benefit in the world and they still could choose to throw it all away and you can’t do anything about it.

IfTimeCouldDie , RODNAE Productions Report

#4

People Are Sharing "Harsh Realities" That No One Wants To Accept, And Here's 29 Of The Most Insightful Ones Some parents just don’t love their children.

avaritze , Lenin Estrada Report

#5

People Are Sharing "Harsh Realities" That No One Wants To Accept, And Here's 29 Of The Most Insightful Ones Your government does NOT have your best interest at heart.

CaptainD743 , Pixabay Report

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F. Jeske
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Please specify the government you talk about. I have a complete different perception here in the Netherlands.

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#7

People Are Sharing "Harsh Realities" That No One Wants To Accept, And Here's 29 Of The Most Insightful Ones Some people just don't get a happy ending, some people never find happiness or satisfaction. People tell you that there is light at the end of the tunnel but for some people there isn't, they never get to see any light, just darkness.

Kermitting_OOF-Side , Pixabay Report

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Firstname Lastname
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And for some of us, the light is like a cat laser pointer, enough to distract us and give us hope, but ultimately not much.

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#8

People Are Sharing "Harsh Realities" That No One Wants To Accept, And Here's 29 Of The Most Insightful Ones Beauty matters in how people treat people.

NakedKittyAlucard , Andrea Piacquadio Report

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king raven
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I read some statistics saying that attractive criminals tend to receive shorter sentences than unattractive ones. Messed up.

Katie Lutesinger
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, remember that really hot guy with the piercing blue eyes and the teardrop tattoo on his face? He became a meme for a while. Idiots were like "OMG HE KILLED SOMEONE OR WHATEVER BUT WHO CARES SOOOO HOTTT!!!1"

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RandomFrog(He/They️‍️)
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In 2020 I was fugly. And now I’ve lost weight, cut my hair, learned makeup and had braces so my teeth are straight. There’s definitly a difference. When I asked out a guy in 2020 i was weird and creepy, and ofc he wouldn’t date me. But now I’m the one getting asked out. And I realized that I was so scared of being ugly that I started over exersizing, because I didn’t want to lose that privilege. Now I’ve realized that it’s ok if I gain a lil weight, and I eat so I have energy. I don’t wear makeup becuase it’s a lot of work, and now I’m trans.

Angeline Shalyn
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Makeup is a lot of work! I wish I was just one of those naturally cute women without it cause I hate putting it on everyday

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Mary Kelly
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

been thin, been fat...when thin, people laugh at my jokes more, get lots of free stuff, get great customer service, etc....been fat, get followed in stores b/c they think i am a thief but no customer service, people think you're lazy or slow-witted, and you could have a gun shot wound to the head and no one would offer help...looks do matter...but they shouldn't

AnnaPanda
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I find bigger women much more attractive than the skinny ones. Too bad not many other people do too.

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Lisa Intally
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've been considered beautiful and, sometimes ugly. The bottom line is that, if you are a woman, you still get treated like you are stupid either way. The main difference I've found is that beautiful people have no problems finding mutual romantic partners. But, it comes with the constant white noise of being harrassed when you are out in public and a stalker at work.

AnnaPanda
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And it also makes you more employable, as managers prefer to hire good looking people over fat and old ones.

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Splašená sardel
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

yeah, probably in the past it was true... now I treat people exclusively by how dumb I think they are

Anita Pickle
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And you do not allow looks to impact your perception? If not great job, but you must have to talk to a lot of people to draw those conclusions.

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Cassi Lyris
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Unfortunately, yes. Beauty is both fleeting and subjective though.

Alex Olinger
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I learned this one when I was in my 20s. I was average looking and where I worked hired a beautiful receptionist. I was shocked to watch how the men treated her compared to me. And one of those men was my boyfriend. Yeah, being beautiful has advantages.

Alison Long
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I worked at several different advertising agencies. You find very few unattractive people working in this industry. In fact, I was told in one interview, "You don't need to worry about getting hired. You're good looking."

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Mari Mar Pinta
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Beauty, skin color, even how you dress... as a Minority with Afro Latino roots, I see it every single day...

M Vee
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It is extremely weird to exist as both conventionally attractive and autistic. Beauty shielded me from some kinds of bullying and social stigma, but seemed to open me up to others because I'm socially an idiot and that violates expectations somehow.

LillieMean
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Should we start a separate thread regarding pretty privilege? I don't think that many people dare to admit that they have benefited from it. It would be interesting to know how people have benefited from it, or the lack of it. How does it affect self-esteem, for example. I myself honestly admit that I have benefited from my appearance. I actively try to avoid it, but it's practically impossible. So what do you think? If someone is interested and has time to ask about it before me, no problem!

Johnny Storm
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Alot of people tend to say otherwise. No, you need to get a grip. Start tidying up yourself and get a nice haircut. Iron your shirts and used deodorants. Look nice can take you far...

Mary Kelly
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

um, you've missed the point -- it's not about grooming and clothes -- well not just that...it's the advantages you get based on the genetic lottery of being born looking a certain way...

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Mahayana
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Unfortunately we only judge people on what sensation they give us. If they give us a pleasurable sensation, even just a visual sensation, we tend to like them. If they give you and unpleasant sensation, either visually, cognitively, physically… we don’t like them. It’s a shame but it’s true.

TAM204
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, sure. But beauty is in the eye of the beholder... And there ARE downsides to being attractive - I trust you can think of a couple.

GadgetGirl
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

First impressions are everything. Teach your daughters how to wear makeup. They'll get better pay if they look pretty. Yes, that's messed up, but it's usually true.

Mary Kelly
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

ahem...yes, nobody is ever beautiful without make up and everyone looks great with make up...she said sarcastically

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Chris Landrum
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have a good looking friend who admitted it happens frequently to her

morticia_b85
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And weight. When I was skinny I'd be treated great. Put on weight through medical stuff and I'm treated like I have no feelings and some sort of lazy piece of dog dirt underneath people's shoes. (Not everyone...but ALOT of people)

Mary Kelly
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

YES!!! Gain weight and you're suddenly less funny, less intelligent, less motivated, less worthy of decent customer service...never realized how much perceptions were based on weight...and, really wasn't expecting people to think that fat people are somehow more often thieves or penniless when they go into stores!!

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simspawn
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Common sense again. The same person in two different bodies, one ugly and one beautiful, will have entirely different lives based only on how they are treated. NOBODY |chooses| ugly when the same thing can be had with beauty. Get over it.

RM Ker
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yep, if you are a woman. Be overweight or slightly aging and watch yourself disappear.

Chiara Lago
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have to disagree with you on this one. I'm 72 and still get hit on and I don't wear much makeup. I have a young attitude, am an artist and can converse about a wide array of topics.

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Amy L. Favro
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Don’t tell kids that “looks don’t matter.” Help them be their best selves,outside and in.

C C
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

very true. nobody ever looked at the ugly girl across the room and said that’s the one i want

Boján Zoltán
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yall hate the people who are pretty or the very least average looking, telling ugly people how looks don't matter? You will rarely hear that s**t from someone ugly.

Pamela Leigh
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Terrible values of our society. But as a former pretty girl, now older, I can tell you no one loves you cause you're pretty. It does not bring happiness.

AnnaPanda
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But it makes you more employable, you will make more money and bosses like you better than the fat and old women. Also it's easier to find a quality boyfriend so you don't have to settle just for anyone who is willing to ask you out

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M Calad
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sorry I came late, there's a Manhwa (Korean manga) called 'Lookism' that revolves on this. Very interesting to see how extremely talented people have to work double or tripple hard to succeed than beautiful people.

Allan Hart
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I find the better looking someone is, the worse they treat people. Not always, but the entitlement makes them look so ugly

Janet Howe
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Attractive people seem to have a lot more advantages. They don't get overlooked. But TRUE BEAUTY has nothing to do with looks.

T1Oracle
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Plot twist: beauty 90% attitude and effort. So much of what we think is "pretty" is makeup, diet, physical fitness, self care (skin, hair, acne, etc), emotional intelligence, and practice. Practicing how to smile, how to walk, how to show dimples. We can't change our genes, but if outward appearance is important to you, then there is plenty that you can do to improve yours.

Mary Kelly
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

ahem, this comment is so sexist and places all the burden on women to make themselves look good and smile to appeal to heterosexual men....please tell us what ugly men can do to make themselves look better if they are cursed with bad genes...she said sarcastically

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Audrey Schuster
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If people think you're attractive in a certain way they treat you extra s****y because they think you get special privileges elsewhere, but really everyone just treats you like s**t.

Mary Kelly
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

um no...if you're attractive and still getting treated s****y, it's probably not about your looks

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Firkin Dirkin
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Explain. Define. Value laden concepts. "Beauty" is cultural so this would only apply in certain narrow circumstances, too small a sample to be statistically significant really.

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#9

People Are Sharing "Harsh Realities" That No One Wants To Accept, And Here's 29 Of The Most Insightful Ones That it’s more likely to succeed if born rich than if you born talented

anon , Thibault Trillet Report

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Stephen Smith
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would prefer to be born talented and succeed at becoming rich, than be born rich and succeed at staying rich.

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#10

People Are Sharing "Harsh Realities" That No One Wants To Accept, And Here's 29 Of The Most Insightful Ones Sometimes, YOU are the problem in a relationship. And if people keep on leaving you, it may well be your fault. Even if you don’t feel like it is.

anon , RODNAE Productions Report

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Karl Baxter
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I work with a guy who’s been married and divorced 3 times. Spend an hour or so around him and there are many clues as to why but I don’t think he has ever considered himself to be the common factor in his failed relationships. He’s currently working on wife number 4 but I don’t hold out much hope for this marriage either.

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#11

People Are Sharing "Harsh Realities" That No One Wants To Accept, And Here's 29 Of The Most Insightful Ones The world goes on after you die.

Euro_Girl , Mike B Report

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JoyfulZebra
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"One generation passes away and another generation comes; but the earth is forever." (Ecclesiastes 1:4)

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#12

People Are Sharing "Harsh Realities" That No One Wants To Accept, And Here's 29 Of The Most Insightful Ones There is no karma. Bad things happen to good people. Bad people do bad things that never catch up to them. Good people do good things that screw them over in the long run. It’s all random.

Coach_Bolton , Mike B Report

#13

People Are Sharing "Harsh Realities" That No One Wants To Accept, And Here's 29 Of The Most Insightful Ones Us 1st world citizens have it much better than we think we have it.

anon , Godisable Jacob Report

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Sandra Morison
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I know I was lucky.......born white in the UK gave me so many advantages . I do try to appreciate it.

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#14

People Are Sharing "Harsh Realities" That No One Wants To Accept, And Here's 29 Of The Most Insightful Ones First impressions are a very f*****g big deal.

Robliterator_ , Cytonn Photography Report

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graham warley
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

On average you judge someone you meet for the first time in about 15 seconds. You are rarely wrong.

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#15

People Are Sharing "Harsh Realities" That No One Wants To Accept, And Here's 29 Of The Most Insightful Ones Not everyone is going to like you, no matter how hard you try.

-eDgAR- , Keira Burton Report

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HelluvaHedgehogAlien
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Umm… am I crazy? Why are there two double posts with the exact same comments—

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#16

People Are Sharing "Harsh Realities" That No One Wants To Accept, And Here's 29 Of The Most Insightful Ones Money and good looks matter

userid404 , Alexander Mils Report

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Колю Майката
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Rich people: "money doesn't matter" | Poor people: OK then, if it doesn't matter can you give some of it to us? | Rich people: Nooooo this is not how you do it!!1!1!

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#17

People Are Sharing "Harsh Realities" That No One Wants To Accept, And Here's 29 Of The Most Insightful Ones We're not all special.

Some of us will not find love.

We're not all equal.

TheDevilsAdvokaat , Tan Danh Report

#18

People Are Sharing "Harsh Realities" That No One Wants To Accept, And Here's 29 Of The Most Insightful Ones You will likely be lost to history. In just a few centuries, nobody will remember or even knew you existed. Sad, I know, but you just have to accept it.

Timyoy3 , Pixabay Report

#19

People Are Sharing "Harsh Realities" That No One Wants To Accept, And Here's 29 Of The Most Insightful Ones Mistakes do define you. The little ones don’t, but if you make a big mistake, it will alter your life to an extent. Saying that they don’t matter is a lie that will prevent you from diagnosing life problems later down the line.

CaptinHavoc , Liza Summer Report

#20

People Are Sharing "Harsh Realities" That No One Wants To Accept, And Here's 29 Of The Most Insightful Ones You don’t always keep the good friends you meet. But that doesn’t mean you can’t make more later on down the road!

viking162 , Matheus Ferrero Report

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#21

People Are Sharing "Harsh Realities" That No One Wants To Accept, And Here's 29 Of The Most Insightful Ones You’re the bad guy in someone’s story, so many of your enemies will never admit to doing anything wrong, but the thing is neither will you in some situations.

People justify their own behaviour to themselves. That’s why so many people can’t apologise and double down on the s****y things they do.

the-salt-of-dungroon , Monstera Report

#22

People Are Sharing "Harsh Realities" That No One Wants To Accept, And Here's 29 Of The Most Insightful Ones All human beings are capable of being viciously immoral. There’s a point where we can be forced or force ourselves to become completely animalistic. We can perpetrate murder and genocide, as just one example, and if justified to ourselves correctly, we will feel no remorse. We like to think that the only people capable of such horror are a minority but the truth is that we are all capable of it given the right circumstances.

viktor72 , Anna Shvets Report

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Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dehumanizing someone, considering them an animal, a rabid animal, is how humans justify killing them—-and spinning it that “the rabid animal” actually deserved to be put down. It’s totally f****d up, but it’s what we do. Soldiers in a war are sent there to kill as many of the enemy as possible. That enemy is vilified by being portrayed as less than human, as vicious animals, as deserving to be killed—-and people applaud them for killing more of the enemy than the enemy kills them. I know it’s a way to dissociate, to justify going against everything we’re taught about not killing people so we don’t go insane from committing an act that society would otherwise consider aberrant. But maybe by not dehumanizing others, by retaining the context that we’re all humans and shouldn’t be committing acts of violence against each other, maybe we might finally leave our worst tendencies behind us, and finally take the next evolutionary step—-one that the knuckledraggers continually keep pulling us back from—-by becoming a truly elevated species that doesn’t give in to our more animalistic tendencies. (Hey, I can dream, can’t I?)

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#24

People Are Sharing "Harsh Realities" That No One Wants To Accept, And Here's 29 Of The Most Insightful Ones People refuse to accept that this IS the reality. Lots of time and money is spent cushioning that blow.

We live here. We live now.

Best get used to it.

Wyrdeone , Keenan Constance Report

#25

People Are Sharing "Harsh Realities" That No One Wants To Accept, And Here's 29 Of The Most Insightful Ones Pain is inescapable. Not even acknowledging that pain is inevitable and preparing for it ahead of time can lessen it.

You will be taken by surprise, you will be hurt, you will not enjoy it, you will not be able to numb it, and there is nothing you can do except take it on the chin.

Cryptids4Sale , Inzmam Khan Report

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K- THULU
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, the Buddha said all life is suffering.... And he wasn't fkn wrong....

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#26

People Are Sharing "Harsh Realities" That No One Wants To Accept, And Here's 29 Of The Most Insightful Ones Very few people truly accept their mortality, and most of the time when it truly sinks in, people get scared and want to avoid it.

MettaMorphosis , Pavel Danilyuk Report

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Rupp
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Making your final plans is the best time to mess with people. For example, I'm stating I want my remains scattered, but I don't want to be cremated....

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#27

People Are Sharing "Harsh Realities" That No One Wants To Accept, And Here's 29 Of The Most Insightful Ones People can just simply fall out of love with you for no reason.

You fretting about whether it's you or something else or the investment is basically you giving them the reasons to strengthen the reason why they stopped loving you. When they could very much not have a reason at all, feelings and priorities can change.

anon , RODNAE Productions Report

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K- THULU
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And some pretend to so as to not harm the one's they love....... Rather be a martyr than a millstone.....

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#28

People Are Sharing "Harsh Realities" That No One Wants To Accept, And Here's 29 Of The Most Insightful Ones People like to be lied to. They don’t like finding out they’ve been lied to

cozygo , Teona Swift Report

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Miss Frankfurter
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I do not like to be lied to! I CAN (for emphasis) handle the truth. Whatever you do, don’t lie to me. Whoever has lied to me will find out how much I don’t like it.

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