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Remember our promise to deliver an article dedicated to each possible topic of puns? Well, we are continuing our quest, and while we should have done this one way earlier, let us fix this horrible blunder now by presenting you with our list of the best, the most adorable, and funniest Harry Potter jokes and puns! 

Most of these Harry Potter memes, funny yet cute, are there just to make you snicker in remembrance of the events in the books or the characters you might’ve forgotten; you might have a hard time incorporating them into your everyday chats. But if you do figure out a way to sneak them in, then we must congratulate you for being the most determined Potterhead there ever was! 

Of course, some of these wizard puns and Harry Potter memes, clean and funny, are a bit more universal, and you can use them even in a professional environment without anyone really noticing it. Except for you, of course, quietly giggling at your own ingenuity, that is. Every day is a good day with a Harry Potter pun in it! 

Funny Harry Potter Memes & Harry Potter Puns for Witches & Wizards

To cater to the hilarious needs of diverse Potterheads, we have collected puns for all. From Harry Potter jokes for kids to the funniest Harry Potter memes, we are here to amuse Potterheads of all ages.

So, without any more talks, why don’t you scroll below and check out the hilarious memes, Harry Potter and his Wizarding World related, that we’ve found? There’s probably no need to tell you that they are just a smidgen down below because they are usually there. Where else would they be, am I right? 

Once you are there, though, don’t forget to give these silly and funny Harry Potter jokes your vote and share this article with anyone who’s into the Wizarding World - the best world of them all!

This post may include affiliate links.

#1

139 Harry Potter Jokes: Potterheads, Brace Yourself For A Punny Ride Why does Voldemort prefer Twitter over Facebook?

Because he has followers, not friends.

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-Under_Ender -
-Under_Ender -
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"DEATH EATER'S ASSEMBLE, oh dang sorry lord voldemort wifi's down"

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#2

Poor Potter cannot tell the difference between his potion’s pot and his best friend because they are both cauldron!

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#3

What type of shoes does Voldemort wear?

Horcrocs!

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Laura Mende (Human)
Laura Mende (Human)
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If the Dark Lord wore crocs, not even Bellatrix would have spend one minute with him...

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#4

I’m trying to write a book about Platform 9 and 3/4. But I keep hitting a wall.

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#5

I thought my roommate was joking when he said Gary Oldman was in the Harry Potter movies.

He was dead Sirius.

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Kayleigh A
Kayleigh A
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Noooooooo :( I just watched and read that book like a week ago

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#6

139 Harry Potter Jokes: Potterheads, Brace Yourself For A Punny Ride Harry Potter movies should be rated R for the huge amount of cursing.

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#7

On a scale of 1-10, I am 9 ¾ obsessed.

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#8

Why doesn’t Snape teach herbology?

Because his lily died.

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#9

139 Harry Potter Jokes: Potterheads, Brace Yourself For A Punny Ride Why is Mad-Eye such a bad professor?

Because he can’t control his pupils.

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Skyla King
Skyla King
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He can control them, but they move so fast that it doesn’t look like it.

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#10

139 Harry Potter Jokes: Potterheads, Brace Yourself For A Punny Ride Why do Azakaban inmates have fresh breath?

Because of de-mentoes.

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Charlotte Ralstin
Charlotte Ralstin
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wait… If they use De-mentors wouldn’t they just be having a dementors kiss which kills them!?

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#11

If a wizard gets robbed by a Muggle, has he been Muggled?

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#12

Where would Bellatrix play if she played the saxophone?

Jazzkaban.

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Charlotte Ralstin
Charlotte Ralstin
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

🎶🎶-awful sax playing coming from Bellatrix’s cell-🎶🎶 next door cellmate says “ EY! Stop that playing it will get us all killed by death eaters! You know what.. keep playing”

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#13

What did the comedian say to Harry Potter?

Why so Sirius?

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#14

What would you call The Boy Who Lived if he got a beard?

Hairy Potter.

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#15

Why doesn’t Voldemort have glasses?

Nobody nose.

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Kat Anderson
Kat Anderson
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

it must be hard to wear them if he needs them because he is like a snake.

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#16

What do you call an electrocuted Dark Lord?

A Volt-demort.

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#17

"Harry, your godfather is dead.”

“Are you serious?!?”

“Yep. Dead Sirius.”

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#18

139 Harry Potter Jokes: Potterheads, Brace Yourself For A Punny Ride How does Voldemort enter a room?

He slithers in.

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#19

On Monday I cannot function without my Espresso patronum.

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Nicole Tomme
Nicole Tomme
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Some call it expresso patronum and accidentally teleport their animal to platform 9 3/4.

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#20

What do you call a postman that can speak to packages?

A parcel tongue.

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Long Minh Thiên
Long Minh Thiên
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5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'll never open the door to a guy wearing a blue suit with a parcel, even if it's something special

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#21

How does the head of Gryffindor see when swimming?

She uses McGonagoggles.

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#22

139 Harry Potter Jokes: Potterheads, Brace Yourself For A Punny Ride Why was Voldemort trying to listen to the Order of Phoenix meetings?

He was nosy!

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#23

What do you call multiple potions teachers?

Several Snapes!

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#24

Why did Barty Crouch stop drinking Butterbeer?

It made him Moody.

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#25

139 Harry Potter Jokes: Potterheads, Brace Yourself For A Punny Ride What’s the biggest problem in Hogwarts School?

Spelling errors.

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#26

Why do Gryffindors exercise?

All those Gryffindorphins.

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#27

I found the first four Harry Potter books to be quite light-hearted.

The fifth one was dead Sirius.

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#28

How much does it cost to watch Harry play his favorite sport?

A quid each.

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#29

139 Harry Potter Jokes: Potterheads, Brace Yourself For A Punny Ride What do you call a Slytherin in winter?

A Shiver-in.

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#30

139 Harry Potter Jokes: Potterheads, Brace Yourself For A Punny Ride What’s the difference between a comma and Crookshanks?

Crookshanks has claws at the end of his paws, and a comma is a pause at the end of a clause.

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#31

How do Hogwarts students get down a hill?

Walking… J.K. Rowling.

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#32

Slytherins are big on Snapechat.

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#33

What’s a dementors theme song?

“You take my breath away.”

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Charlotte Ralstin
Charlotte Ralstin
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

“You take my breath away, I’m gonna kill you one day, it’s so fun to suck the life and soul out of prisoners 🎶🎶

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#34

Why did the protons vote for Harry Potter to be president?

Because they didn’t want to elect Ron.

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#35

Harry Potter puns can Slytherin to any conversation.

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#36

How does HP get rid of a rash?

With quit-itch.

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#37

McGonagall is a good teacher, but she can be catty.

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#38

How do Malfoys enter a building?

They Slytherin.

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#39

What do you call two wizards who share a dorm?

Broom-mates.

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#40

139 Harry Potter Jokes: Potterheads, Brace Yourself For A Punny Ride Why did Harry Potter get stopped for speeding?

Because he didn’t expect-no-patrol man.

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#41

Why do you never see dementors in Starbucks?

They can’t stand espresso patronum!

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Artsy Bookworm
Artsy Bookworm
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Looks like Starbucks stands to make a bit of money if they come up with the new Espresso Patronum

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#42

139 Harry Potter Jokes: Potterheads, Brace Yourself For A Punny Ride Which Harry Potter book is the darkest?

Order of the Phoenix because that’s when it gets dead Sirius.

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#43

What is the difference between a wizard and a spelling bee contestant?

One conjures spells and the other spells conjure.

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#44

How does Harry Potter end an argument?

He slams the Gryffindor!

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#45

Why is studying at Hogwarts confusing?

Students aren’t sure witch-craft to choose.

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#46

Which Hogwarts professor makes the best wine?

Severus Grape.

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#47

139 Harry Potter Jokes: Potterheads, Brace Yourself For A Punny Ride Where do Hogwarts students celebrate their wins?

Diagon Rallies.

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#48

The way she speaks and looks at people, there is something myst-sirius about her.

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#49

Why was Harry Potter in trouble at school?

Because he made fun of someone on Snape Chat.

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#50

Why did Harry Potter get detention?

Because he was cursing in class.

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#51

139 Harry Potter Jokes: Potterheads, Brace Yourself For A Punny Ride What cereal do they serve at Hogwarts?

Hufflepuffs.

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#52

139 Harry Potter Jokes: Potterheads, Brace Yourself For A Punny Ride Why did Snape throw away so many potions?

They were past their hex-piration date!

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#53

Why is Ollivander never home?

He’s a wanderer.

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#54

Why was everyone avoiding Hermione?

She was Grangerous.

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#55

139 Harry Potter Jokes: Potterheads, Brace Yourself For A Punny Ride What do you call the common cold when Ron Weasley gets it?

A ginger ail.

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#56

What did Percy say when he saw the dirty swimming pool?

Penelope, Clearwater!

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#57

Why are all the girls so obsessed with Oliver Wood?

He’s a real keeper!

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#58

139 Harry Potter Jokes: Potterheads, Brace Yourself For A Punny Ride Just because you are getting everything so weasley, you do not respect it.

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#59

"Can I please have some mungo ice Cream?"

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#60

Why couldn’t Harry find Hermione?

He was looking in the Ron places.

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#61

How does the headmaster get into Hogwarts?

Through a Dumble-door!

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#62

Which Hogwarts teacher gets the blame?

Professor Snape-Goat.

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#63

What kind of laugh does Newt Scamander make?

A bowchuckle.

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#64

Ron can Weasly make his way out of anything.

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#65

139 Harry Potter Jokes: Potterheads, Brace Yourself For A Punny Ride You have to admit, he’s looking a little Hagrid.

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#66

Why was Sirius banned from Hogwarts?

For black magic.

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#67

What mints does Hogwarts promote?

Enchant mints.

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#68

Growing up in Voldemort’s family was a Gaunting task.

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#69

There are Severus factors you need to consider when fighting Voldemort.

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#70

139 Harry Potter Jokes: Potterheads, Brace Yourself For A Punny Ride Why do wizards lock their doors at night?

They’re afraid to get muggled.

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#71

Why is Fred not going into the Chamber of Secrets?

He's a-Fred!

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#72

What do Hogwarts students give their dogs to change their coat colour?

Collie-juice potion.

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#73

I kept knocking at your dumble-door, but you did not answer.

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#74

139 Harry Potter Jokes: Potterheads, Brace Yourself For A Punny Ride From what all I know about you, all I can say is that you are a riddikulus person.

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#75

You don’t find Harry Potter funny?

There is something Ron with you!

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#76

Why was Ron shown the Dumbledore?

He kept making terrible Potterpuns.

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#77

It’s important not to jump to the Ron conclusion!

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#78

But of curse, magic is hard.

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#79

139 Harry Potter Jokes: Potterheads, Brace Yourself For A Punny Ride Wizards have a keen sense of spell!

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#80

What did one Gryffindor say to another?

I Gryffin-adore you!

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#81

Which Hogwarts student would help you learn how to play Quidditch?

I think Oliver Wood.

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Ryn Funkhouser
Ryn Funkhouser
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was gonna be like "duh" what's punny about this, but then I realised that there actually was a joke

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#82

139 Harry Potter Jokes: Potterheads, Brace Yourself For A Punny Ride What do you call a hedgehog skateboarding in Hogwarts?

Knarl-y.

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#83

Do you like Harry Potter?

Because I a-Dumbledore you!

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#84

He will s-muggle the gold across the sea.

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#85

What do you call a Potterhead on a horse?

Harry Trotter.

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#86

139 Harry Potter Jokes: Potterheads, Brace Yourself For A Punny Ride Draco’s friends are a bit Crabbey.

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#87

How do Hogwarts students go on field trips?

They take the Albus!

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#88

Harry Otter.

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#89

What do you call someone who is half transfigured into a cat?

Purr-people.

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#90

139 Harry Potter Jokes: Potterheads, Brace Yourself For A Punny Ride You can go there alone but make sure that there is no Granger.

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#91

Spells come in all Snapes and sizes.

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#92

What’s Harry Potter’s motto?

Neville, give up!

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#93

What do you call the entrance to a magical gym?

A dumbbell door.

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#94

You are siriusly ridiculous if you do not like Harry Potter.

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#95

139 Harry Potter Jokes: Potterheads, Brace Yourself For A Punny Ride It is high time that you should start taking magic severus-ly.

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#96

Where can you find Dumbledore’s Army?

Up his sleeve-y!

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#97

139 Harry Potter Jokes: Potterheads, Brace Yourself For A Punny Ride Why does Voldemort love Nagini so much?

Because she gives him hugs and hisses.

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#98

What do you call a coughing quidditch commentator?

A Weasley!

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#99

They never said Hogwarts was going to be Weasly.

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#100

Owl ask the questions in this potions class.

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#101

139 Harry Potter Jokes: Potterheads, Brace Yourself For A Punny Ride Don’t be so muggle-headed about it.

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#102

There is no time for dawdling, you better Harry up.

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#103

You must admit that Harry Potter is a myst-sirius novel at times.

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#104

139 Harry Potter Jokes: Potterheads, Brace Yourself For A Punny Ride All I really wand to do is go to Hogwarts.

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#105

What do you call first-class mail at Hogwarts?

The Hogwarts express.

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#106

Why didn’t the students get 10s on their papers?

They needed 9 3/4s.

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#107

Why did Dumbledore’s phoenix not speak?

He had a Fawkes tongue.

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#108

Please don’t Chang the subject!

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#109

139 Harry Potter Jokes: Potterheads, Brace Yourself For A Punny Ride It’s hard to Flitwick a car into your purse without magic.

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#110

You might have a Helena of a time being a Ravenclaw.

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#111

When you get sorted, you need to make a Snape decision to become Slytherin.

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#112

You have to baron mind that Slytherins can go bad.

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#113

139 Harry Potter Jokes: Potterheads, Brace Yourself For A Punny Ride Did you hear that were going to make an entire book about Harry Potter’s godfather?

They ended up axing it, they thought it would be too Sirius!

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#114

Why did Fred shave his face?

Ron said he looked like a Hairy Potter.

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#115

What is bigfoot’s favorite book?

Hairy Potter.

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#116

I think I should go and talk to her because she look a-dumbledore-able.

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#117

139 Harry Potter Jokes: Potterheads, Brace Yourself For A Punny Ride For you, dumble-door of my house is always open.

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#118

When I went to her place, she made a potter tea.

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#119

It looked okay from outside but it was a ganger-ous place.

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#120

Why did Luna get Hagrid's signature?

She is a giant fan.

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#121

I chant get enough of Harry Potter.

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ocoop15 avatar
Star the Furry Therian!
Star the Furry Therian!
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The book is just so charm-ing. (sorry but the above joke was bad so i made up for it)

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#122

Let me tell you the Pottercularly perfect Harry Potter pun.

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#123

139 Harry Potter Jokes: Potterheads, Brace Yourself For A Punny Ride When you’re a snitch, sometimes it’s a beater pill to swallow.

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#124

Don’t just Sprout out the answer in divination.

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#125

139 Harry Potter Jokes: Potterheads, Brace Yourself For A Punny Ride You’re in for a Severus talking to if you haven’t read Harry Potter.

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#126

What type of music does Hagrid like?

Hinky-punk.

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#127

Why did Harry change his uniform?

It was too quid-itchy.

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#128

You think it is shortcut but it might be the Ron way.

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#129

139 Harry Potter Jokes: Potterheads, Brace Yourself For A Punny Ride You cannot get everything so Weasley.

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#130

As long as I take, you keep giving me a lot of crup.

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#131

You must remain quietus while I am speaking.

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#132

It is my responsibility now. Owl take care of it.

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#133

139 Harry Potter Jokes: Potterheads, Brace Yourself For A Punny Ride She brought me such a nice gift. I absolutely gryffin-adore her.

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#134

Why were the Durselys overweight?

They had to many milk Dudleys.

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#135

I looked at him and could feel butterbeer in my stomach.

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#136

139 Harry Potter Jokes: Potterheads, Brace Yourself For A Punny Ride I do not like talking to him, he gives a lot of crup.

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#137

If you want to hear what is being said, stay quietus.

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#138

Can you witch this watch?

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#139

139 Harry Potter Jokes: Potterheads, Brace Yourself For A Punny Ride What do you call the center of the orange in Hogwarts?

The Neville of the orange.

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A Punny Potterverse

We bet that this punny compilation was just what your Potterhead souls needed at this moment. We hope this list of magical humor made you think back about your favorite scenes and characters from the books and movies and reminisce about those times. Have you made this your unofficial Wizarding World joke guide yet? Let us know in the comments!

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