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30 Harmful Things Parents Should Stop Teaching Their Kids

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There are so many things we wish our children would grow up knowing. However, separating the wheat from the chaff, the wisdom from the illusions is always a tough thing to do. And some things that our kids end up learning do more harm than good, don’t you think, dear Pandas?

Well, the parents of Reddit have been pitching in and sharing their takes on what harmful things are being taught to children in a viral thread over on r/AskReddit. From advice on how we should always be double-checking information to embracing failure instead of running away from it, some of these tips and tricks are spot-on and help kids grow into healthy, happy adults. (And don’t tell anyone this, but some of us adults could use a handful of these tips, too.)

Have a read through them below and upvote the ones you agree with. Got any additional tips on what things children should and shouldn’t be taught? Be sure to share your thoughts with all the other Readers in the comment section.

I reached out to Lenore Skenazy to learn more about how to overcome the passive mindset that kids are taught to embrace in school and to be actively driven by curiosity into adulthood. Lenore is the founder of the Free-Range Kids movement and the president of Let Grow, a nonprofit organization that fights overprotection, promotes independence, and makes kids ‘future-proof.’ and the founder of the Free-Range Kids movement. You’ll find her insights that she shared with Bored Panda below, dear Readers.

This post may include affiliate links.

#1

Little girls get told all the time that boys are bullying them because they like them

Final score:

348points

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#2

Boys don't cry.

Let the damn boys cry

chinchuberry Report

Final score:

345points

Aurelia! 3 years ago

LET THEM CRY!

71points

Night Owl 3 years ago (edited)

I read that in tune of "Let it go" :)

8points

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Leo Domitrix 3 years ago

Upvote ten thousand times, please!

6points

Gabuun Papaschikova 3 years ago

and then women are like " i don't know why mean don't show emotions" well cuz they've been taught it's "weak" to do so?? i heard a woman tell a boy " boys don't cry! be a man!" the boy was not more than 6 years old what is wrong with you?! maybe he needs support not a masculinity slap

5points

Kimberley Gayle Thomas 3 years ago

I put in my dating ads that "Real Men cry, wear pink, love cats and aren't homophobic."

3points

Mathew Aaberg 3 years ago

Yep this one screwed me up for years...

3points

Kimberly Young 3 years ago

If boys were allowed to express their emotions, maybe they wouldn't bully girls "because they like them." If aggression is the only emotion that is acceptable, then of course that's how they express their crushes.

3points

Mi Shield 3 years ago

As a boy, I'd like to cite article 41 of The Bro Code: A Bro Never Cries. Exceptions: Watching Field of Dreams, E.T., or a sports legend retire.

2points

Lazy Panda 3 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

-1point

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Genevieve B 3 years ago

When my little brother was about 6/7, he would cry about any sad thing in a movie. It was sad but also pretty sweet :)

2points

Braydon Tan Jin Yan 3 years ago

if boys don't cry, it means we're aliens

2points

Hollysmom 3 years ago

That is so toxic for boys, girls, and adults too

2points

Isobella GOURLAY 3 years ago

Bottling up feelings is a s**t feeling and will make you hate yourself and the world. Self positivity is toxic, stop saying ur ok if ur a crying lump on the couch, LET A GODDAMN KID CRY REGARDLESS OF GENDER!!!

1point

Gemstripe the RainWing 3 years ago

LET THEM HAVE THAT FEELING!! THEY NEED THAT FEELING TO COMPLETE THEMSELVES!!!

1point

El Dee 3 years ago

I'm glad this is so high on the list. We damage boys right from when they are young and then are surprised at the results - ie high rates of suicide in men as adults when they can't open up to others about how they are feeling..

1point

Mary Bank 3 years ago

This one makes me so mad, teaching men to repress emotions from a young age. Everyone cries, everyone gets overwhelmed it's normal and healthy. My son cries and we hug and talk and try to help and support, teaching your child to talk about feelings AND NOT repressing them is healthy.

1point

Donkey boi 3 years ago

The f**King do! So do men fully grown men. Even I've cried and I'm missing some emotions.

1point

Kira Okah 3 years ago

Quit telling boys to man up, telling them to stop it with their man pain, that bringing up their problems is derailing, that they don't get abused, that their pain is worth less. My partner has gotten all of these, publicly, fr daring to be upset.

1point

Toko Danganronpa 3 years ago

Let's start a chant, everyone type "Let them cry" like @Aurelia. LET THEM CRY!

1point

Lazy Panda 3 years ago

LET THEM CRY LET THEM CRY

1point

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Lauren Caswell 3 years ago

Tears have different contents depending on why you are shedding them; they release excess hormones flooding the body causing the extreme emotion. Shedding them relieves the body of the excess. So always let yourself cry if you need to, it's a natural and healthy response, no matter who you are

1point

Lazy Panda 3 years ago

Cool

1point

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Landon Ream 2 years ago

That’s a lie I cry sometimes

0points

Mónica Elisabeth Sacco 3 years ago

Stupid. Frustrating. Hurts.

0points

backatya 3 years ago

crying is for humans

0points

Katherine Tarantino 3 years ago

LEEEETTT THEEEEEM CRYYYYYYYYYY

0points

Curry on... 3 years ago

My son cried until he was 10 years old about anything. I was intrigued. I used to stare into his wide-open mouth to see if his uvula was vibrating.

0points

TruestBlack 3 years ago

I always tell my son he is brave to cry and it is ok

0points

Kevin Donegan 3 years ago

Suppression of your emotions leads to one thing ... an explosion at some point down the road.

0points

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#3

Making children hug or kiss someone (usually a relative) that they are uncomfortable with is not good. The child may just be grumpy and or not wanting to show affection or their warning bell sensors could be going off and they do not know how to communicate that. Plus forcing them to hug/kiss sends mixed messages about personal/physical boundaries and affection itself

NemoKhongMotAi Report

Final score:

343points

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Modern schooling, if left to its own devices, generally has the unwanted effect of making kids far more passive than we’d like them to be. School tends to reward following orders and compliance more than independence, active curiosity, and drive. And that’s an issue that can have far-reaching consequences, one of which is the fear of doing what you want or trying new things.

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“When a seventh-grade teacher friend of mine asked her students—aged 12 and 13—what new things they wanted to do on their own, but were still a little hesitant to try, the responses were rather shocking to me,” Lenore, the founder of Let Grow and the Free-Range Kids movement, shared with Bored Panda.

“One kid wanted to walk the dog—but was afraid it would get off the leash. Another said he wanted to go to the store—but he’d never been inside one without his mom, and he was worried about being surrounded by strangers. A few said they wanted to take a bike ride or even climb a tree, but they were afraid of hurting themselves.”

#4

What to think instead of how to think

LewsTherinT Report

Final score:

287points

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#5

That they shouldn't question an adult

stayalive102 Report

Final score:

277points

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#6

That failure is bad. Failing should not be considered as an obstacle but a step in the learning process. Demonizing the failure and stigma associated with it makes many children lose their interest once they fail.

Peace_Pepper Report

Final score:

257points

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Lenore explained that “our catastrophizing culture” has scared parents so much, they’re anxious about letting their kids do pretty much anything and everything. While there are exceptions, of course, many parents veer sharply towards being overprotective and overbearing because they fear for their munchkins’ safety.

Ironically, the result is the opposite of what they want. “The result is not safety, it’s anxiety—kids who absorbed the message that everything is too much for them to handle. When you’re anxious, a simple slip-up doesn’t seem so simple. It seems huge—even life-threatening. How can you avoid those awful threats? That part is simple,” Lenore detailed. “You avoid doing anything.”

Doing nothing is exactly what the seventh graders that Lenore mentioned up above ended up doing. That fear spread to other parts of their life in the classroom, from taking tests (“what if they got a bad grade?”) to asking the teacher which side of the page they should write their name on (“they wouldn’t dare just choose their own!”).

#7

Nobody cares about children’s/teens issues. “Well it’s only going to get worse from here”. “You think school is hard? Have you ever paid a f**king bill” “You’re just a kid you can’t feel this way”.

It breeds an emotional disconnect from parents and their kids. And makes kids feel alone in their emotional struggles, that nobody cares because they’re not adults and they don’t have “Adult Problems”.

Fantalitymlp Report

Final score:

246points

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#8

It seems like forcing kids to eat everything off their plate is pretty harmful, it doesn't matter if they're full, they have to clean off their plate and they can't leave the table until they do

-Knivezz- Report

Final score:

217points

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#9

That you can be anything you want in life.

Sorry but this just isn't correct. Poor Eddie who can't grasp basic division isn't going to be an astronaut

Rukawork Report

Final score:

212points

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“The teacher told one girl who came to class late and hadn’t had time to get lunch, ‘That’s ok—just go grab something from the cafeteria and come back!’ ‘By myself?’ the girl asked. She was afraid to walk down the halls of her safe school, in a safe neighborhood, in suburban New York. Everyday life is seen as filled with risk.”

This passivity isn’t making children any happier, Lenore put it bluntly. Instead, kids are kept deep inside their comfort zones fully believing that it’s all that they can stand and that this is all that life has to offer. Fortunately, the students that Lenore mentioned had an awesome teacher who didn’t want them to go into high school and then adulthood with so much fear in their lives.

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“She wanted to break the shell growing thicker around them every day. And so she assigned The Let Grow Project—a homework assignment that tells kids to, ‘Go home and do something new, on your own.’ At last, the kids were given a push to get out of their comfort zone—and so were their parents. After all, now school was telling them to let go of their kids and give them a little independence,” Lenore said.

#10

“No “tattle tails” or “snitching”

How many kids are abused or bullied and won’t come forward because of this?”

Final score:

209points

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#11

"If he's mean to you he likes you" It just teaches little girls (mostly girls) to expect violence from people who love them

mbar2004 Report

Final score:

198points

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#12

My son’s preschool has a strict “you do not have to play if you don’t want to” policy. No one has to play with anyone they don’t want to play with. They say that no one has to to hug or touch anyone or be touched if they don’t want it. No one has to share their toys or other school supplies if they aren’t done with it. In fact the preschool teacher will go over and referee and say “is Bobby done with the toy car? No? Then Mikey, you have to wait until he is done.” It’s pretty refreshing. I wanted to let you know there are new philosophies and my son’s preschool really strongly teaches body autonomy. Your body is your own and no one can touch it or make you do anything with it without your permission

Final score:

193points

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“You can see the results in this 2-minute video. That teacher made them do twenty Let Grow Projects. And the result was kids blossoming like crazy—riding their bikes, joining sports programs, piercing their ears, making dinner, walking to town with their friends, and discovering how great it is to do rather than to hide.”

Lenore stressed that any school can do The Let Grow Project and all of their materials are available absolutely for free. You’ll find the project right here and the Independence Kit right over here.”It works for kids aged 5 to 14 or so. And by the way, if you or your school do The Project, drop me a note—I’d love to hear about it! You can write to me via Info@LetGrow.org,” Lenore added, saying that she wants you, dear Pandas, to reach out to her.

#13

Being wrong is bad. That's why many people don't change their mind when they were given trustable sources, they don't want to be wrong

Final score:

191points

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#14

Abstinence only sex education. This is more of what they're not being taught. Proper sex education is important.

Edit: For anyone interested I'm posting a link to a John Oliver segment on Americas sex education system. Its very informative but also quite funny.

GurgleQueen636 Report

Final score:

180points

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#15

My mom would often punish me for something, and whenever I asked why or what I did I was told “I’m the adult and you are the child” or “because I said so” or “you shouldn’t need a reason”.

Final score:

177points

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In an earlier interview with Lenore, the president of Let Grow, and the founder of the Free-Range Kids movement, told Bored Panda about how kids can keep their curiosity burning and their desire to learn bright and well-honed as they grow.

"I’ve been wondering this myself: How to stay curious when hit by 'the blahs?' Next to Covid (and in great part thanks to Covid) the blahs are the most catching virus around. You get tired and bored by being tired and bored, talking about being tired and bored, and succumbing to them,” Lenore said about how the pandemic is making all of us feel less energetic, physically and mentally.

“Unfortunately, the whole thing is self-reinforcing: A feeling of listlessness leads you to scroll through your social media of choice, which makes you feel more blah, leading you to scroll some more, etc."

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#16

Doing the right thing will sometimes make others hate you. Be prepared for that.

FloKarle Report

Final score:

172points

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#17

That complaining is the same as not being grateful. Can’t count the number of times growing up when adults basically told me to shut up whenever I was complaining about something and that I should be grateful that I was born where I was. Like sure, I’m glad I wasn’t born into some starving African family, but that doesn’t mean everything is perfect over here and that we shouldn’t try to improve things here as well.

II_Neo_II Report

Final score:

163points

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#18

No is a 'bad' word. It's a strong word but not a bad one.

NotMyPenguin Report

Final score:

149points

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Lenore put it bluntly: if we want to be curious about life again, if we want to be constantly learning, we have to start off by getting off the couch. “Force yourself out the door. Why? Because beyond your four walls, things are never exactly the same. Weather, animals, people, sounds, smells, clouds—they’re all swirling about."

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She continued: "Ask yourself to start noticing new things. I did that this morning with a friend. We took a walk around our neighborhood and started looking for interesting details in the homes and buildings we passed. It went from a walk down streets we’d seen a million times to a sort of treasure hunt. And the big thing we were really hunting for? Curiosity! When you’re curious, you’re alive again—noticing, thinking, making connections. You can’t do that if there’s no new information coming in. So your first step is to force yourself out of a rut by leaving the house (harder during the pandemic, but not impossible)."

#19

"The parents never make a mistake"

AKuAkUhhh Report

Final score:

147points

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#20

"No backtalk." Many adults use it as "you're not allowed to challenge what I have to say." Makes sense if it's a cranky toddler being negative for negativity's sake, but suddenly older children can't question things or raise valid points of their own.

lesoldatrose Report

Final score:

145points

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#21

That you shouldnt hit a woman. Dont hit anyone! (unless its self defence) If my child is being hit by a woman, and bullied...equal rights equal fights

aseald_Sapnu Report

Final score:

143points

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If you look at the pandemic from a different perspective, it might motivate you to start learning new things. For instance, think about what you’d wish you’d learned or a skill that you’d like to have honed by the end of the pandemic.

“Think of something you’d like to be able to say you’ve been working on, especially once life returns to normal: 'Well, I wasted a lot of that free time I had, but at least I started...' Or, 'At least I learned…' For my sister, she’s taking ballet online. For my husband, he’s learning film editing. For me, it’s… oh God! I better come up with something fast! Um…let’s say I will learn how to create a Clubhouse program. Ok?" Lenore quipped that even the best of the best can struggle with this during the lockdowns.

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#22

That the news is completely reliable

Gray-Doons Report

Final score:

139points

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#23

Happened to my son in middle school, a kid sucker punched my son. My son then fought back and pinned the kid against the wall ( he has long arms) and punched him a few times. The school called me and my wife and told us our son was suspended. We went to the school and they said even though multiple witnesses as well as the kid said he threw the first punch that the school had a zero tolerance policy so our son would be suspended. We asked what the school believed our son should have done and they said he should just walk away. We told them that he would not be receiving any punishment at home and that the policy was f**ked up.

Final score:

133points

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#24

I think what we're not taught is more harmful. For example the fact that we never learn (at least in my country) how to fact check things.

Urgash54 Report

Final score:

129points

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Even leaving the house to get your blood flowing is a great step toward learning a new skill. What’s more, feeling envy toward someone who’s good at a particular skill or particularly learned is a good way to get yourself motivated to strive for more.

“Do not worry if you are taking that first step as simply something you’re doing thanks to social pressure, or for someone other than yourself. Change is change—the motivation doesn’t matter,” Lenore told Bored Panda.

Lenore believes that we should always be questing to learn more about the world while verifying whether or not something is actually true. That means navigating the world of false claims and fake news.

#25

That everybody is a winner. No. Losing and disappointments are part of life and they are integral to your growth both emotionally and socially. We have a lot of people who enter the real world who have been told they are deserving of things just because and cannot take rejections and losses in their personal and professional lives with any grace whatsoever. This is also resulting in mediocrity being accepted as a norm cos nobody wants to call out ineptitude. While the hard work and dedication being put in by people who do end up in good positions are being played down. It's a little harsh but it's true. Kids gotta learn how to lose before they can truly start to win. That's the only way being gracious in victory will ever come about.

nattlefrost Report

Final score:

121points

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#26

Kids are starting social media so early these days, and I think that’s very dangerous because it puts a lot of pressure on the kid to attribute their worth to their social media success. I also think parents are way too open with their social media when it comes to their kids, and it’s totally a violation of the child’s privacy, of which some parents will never admit

kay37892 Report

Final score:

106points

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#27

Bullies are only bullies because they feel insecure about themselves and you should sympathize with them. **k that, if someone is being s****y to you then they don't deserve your sympathy.

C0zy_Glow Report

Final score:

106points

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"When you’re reading an article that seems to be so shocking that you’re amazed this is the first time you’re hearing about it, take a short phrase from the piece and Google it. If something strikes you as fishy, go fishing," she said.

"As for whether or not your fishing will lead you to disinformation rather than the truth, try not to fish blindly. If you’re curious about crime stats, for instance, look these up on a government website, not some random blog," she explained. Checking websites like Snopes to see if some shocking stories are real or not is a good move.

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#28

Not owning up to their mistakes or blaming them on others.

jamerstime Report

Final score:

101points

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#29

Children do learn about sex at a young age, it just isn’t usually in a productive way. I know I did.

My own experience: questions like this are why I believe in being infinitely clear with my kids….”you are going to hear total [nonsense] from other kids. If you hear something you don’t understand, come talk to me. You can ask me anything and expect a decent answer.” And I would give examples of the total [nonsense] I had heard as a kid, most of which would result in pregnancy.

Son, age 6. Daughter, age 7. Riding home from school: daughter says “Tiffany said she had sex with my brother.” Which left me a grand total of 3 minutes to gather my wits before we got home.

OK, do you guys know what sex is? Blank looks. Sex is when you take off all of your clothes and rub privates together. You can make babies that way. Looks of shock and disgust. Do you think your brother had sex with Tiffany? Nooo! I think she was using a really bad way of trying to say she likes him, and maybe she watches the wrong TV shows where if people like each other they always have sex.

Were my kids really ready for a sex talk? No, not really. They didn’t care. Did we really need to have one about then? Yep. My job as a parent is to be there to put things that come up in context for them, not run around after them deciding what and when they need to know things.

sushihcare Report

Final score:

101points

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#30

How to internalize stress and implode as teens and adults.

lunakat504 Report

Final score:

100points

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#31

“She’s younger than you, just let it go.” “Can’t you be more compassionate? Your the older one here in this situation" “ She’s a little child, she doesn’t know any better”

Absolutely hate this information that was drilled into me since I was a kid

christt28 Report

Final score:

39points

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#32

Teaching them to respect authority instead of learning to freely question everything

SirSlipShot Report

Final score:

35points

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#33

The lie that life is fair and things happen for benevolent, valid reasons.

Then we let them get burned and figure it out themselves.

mrstipez Report

Final score:

34points

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#34

You do not have to play with everyone. There is a total lack of social accountability. If Laura is always cheating at tag it’s okay to not let her play. If Little Billy throws sand in the sand box Little Timmy does not have to play with him. Laura and Billy need to learn how to play appropriately.

lethologica5 Report

Final score:

30points

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#35

Going too far on the "find your dream job and it'll never feel like work" stuff.

Really messed me up when I wasn't "excited" about uni assignments and thought I had to change degrees

TheRealGreenTreeFrog Report

Final score:

30points

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#36

School is the only way to be successful and college is a requirement.

Apock247 Report

Final score:

29points

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#37

This is more at a highschool level, but that trade schools or learning a trade is a lessor option compared to a standard college degree.

Trade schools and learning a skilled trade need just as much emphasis as a college degree.

Along those same lines, collage (or trade school) show be treated as a busy investment. Time should be taken for kids/teens to examine how long it will take to repay their schooling and if that degree is worth the money. Especially now with previous generation living longer and staying in the job market longer. Combined with more and more people graduating with degrees, there is more supply and the demand is not growing evenly in all areas of expertise.

TorturedChaos Report

Final score:

29points

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#38

You show me respect first because I’m an adult and have authority then I choose whether I should show you respect no other way!

kroke_monster Report

Final score:

28points

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#39

History from a single perspective. I am a history teacher and I firmly believe one of the most damaging things schools do is teach history from a single perspective, especially a euro-centric one. It just isn't how history works and causes lots of issues for any person/group who doesn't share that single perspective.

P.S. teaching what I call "great man" history is almost as bad. History was made by more than presidents, inventors, and celebrities. Teaching only about significant figure after significant figure minimizes the impact of the 99.99999999% of the population that isn't super famous.

Final score:

27points

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#40

Political views, at ages that children are really too young to understand them. They just spout off their parents thoughts

mokshmoon Report

Final score:

25points

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#41

Being discouraged to speak up about illness's because it makes them weird/ somethings wrong with them. They talk about like, You need therapy, which isnt a bad concept and you probably do need it, but they picture it in such a bad light.

_Cobbler_Gobbler_ Report

Final score:

25points

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#42

Generally just overprotecting them from the outside world. Kids that are raised in such a way have a hard time when they go out into real life.

IBeatMyWife42069 Report

Final score:

23points

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#43

In a nasty divorce, the parents may only talk about each other’s bad qualities and the kid(s) may have an issue/issues with their parents.

some_personn Report

Final score:

22points

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#44

“The issue is that kids are told what’s important, not how to evaluate what’s important.

Are grades important? Sure, but why do they care? You don’t need a 4.0 from a crippling pricey college to get a good job that will allow you to live the lifestyle you want.

Is money important? Sure, but what so you need money for? You don’t need to work yourself to death to save for retirement and live a lifestyle that makes you happy.

Are friends important? Sure, but you don’t need to be a social butterfly with huge parties every weekend. If you’ve got a few people you like to spend time with, don’t worry about it.

Are material things important? Yeah, at a certain point, you do need some stuff to lead the lifestyle you want. But you don’t need the nicest car, newest phone, most exclusive clothes, or the best-decorated apartment.

The key is decide what life you want to live, and wrap your choices around it unapologetically, and that’s a tricky thing to figure out, and it has to be personal. No one can make that decision for you, even if they can give you valuable advice on how to get there."

Final score:

21points

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#45

Basically all those s**t social media influencers that teach young people that it's all about money and brand names

TRGMORGAN Report

Final score:

19points

View more comments

#46

If you have a different opinion than someone, you hate them and that's wrong.

Fifty7Roses Report

Final score:

18points

View more comments

#47

I personally hate when I hear parents telling their kids white lies to stop them from doing something

The_Stiffness Report

Final score:

17points

View more comments

#48

Giving the kids anything they want without them working to get what they want. Also, telling the kids all their problems will magically go away in time, without them doing nothing.

rocio185 Report

Final score:

17points

View more comments

#49

that its ok to take your anger out on other people

and that everyone should have social media and compare themselves to those who look "better"

not_ok1611 Report

Final score:

16points

View more comments

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"I Didn't Start The Dryer": Karen Gets Taught A Lesson After Throwing Out Neighbor's Wet Clothes

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Guy Divorced 3 Years Ago Drops Off 3 Y.O. With His Ex-Wife Completely Out Of The Blue

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#50

That the world outside your house is a scary and dangerous place. In the United States, it is largely not. Let them explore without fear.

HesburghLibrarian Report

Final score:

16points

View more comments

Jonas Grinevičius

Storytelling, journalism, and art are a core part of who I am. I've been writing and drawing ever since I could walk—there is nothing else I'd rather do. My formal education, however, is focused on politics, philosophy, and economics because I've always been curious about the gap between the ideal and the real. At work, I'm a Senior Writer and I cover a broad range of topics that I'm passionate about: from psychology and changes in work culture to healthy living, relationships, and design. In my spare time, I'm an avid hiker and reader, enjoy writing short stories, and love to doodle. I thrive when I'm outdoors, going on small adventures in nature. However, you can also find me enjoying a big mug of coffee with a good book (or ten) and entertaining friends with fantasy tabletop games and sci-fi movies.

Storytelling, journalism, and art are a core part of who I am. I've been writing and drawing ever since I could walk—there is nothing else I'd rather do. My formal education, however, is focused on politics, philosophy, and economics because I've always been curious about the gap between the ideal and the real. At work, I'm a Senior Writer and I cover a broad range of topics that I'm passionate about: from psychology and changes in work culture to healthy living, relationships, and design. In my spare time, I'm an avid hiker and reader, enjoy writing short stories, and love to doodle. I thrive when I'm outdoors, going on small adventures in nature. However, you can also find me enjoying a big mug of coffee with a good book (or ten) and entertaining friends with fantasy tabletop games and sci-fi movies.

Denis Tymulis

Denis is a photo editor at Bored Panda. After getting his bachelor's degree in Multimedia and Computer Design, he tried to succeed in digital design, advertising, and branding. Also, Denis really enjoys sports and loves everything related to board sports and water.

Denis is a photo editor at Bored Panda. After getting his bachelor's degree in Multimedia and Computer Design, he tried to succeed in digital design, advertising, and branding. Also, Denis really enjoys sports and loves everything related to board sports and water.

What do you think ?

Rakjell Hanwell 3 years ago

As a nursery school teacher I want to add a lie, we always tell parents: that they are the 'experts' for their own child. No. The 'Expert' for your child is your child. They know, what is best for them. They might have difficulties voicing it, but it is our job to help them translate. Sure, kids love to do risky things, but not because they don't know what is good for them, but because they don't know much about the world yet. If a kid tells you, that they want to jump down the Niagara falls, what they are telling you probably is: 'I want to explore', 'I want to be somewhere high up and see the world from a new perspective' 'Or I want to go to the water'. They tell you, which learning experiences at that moment would benefit their development. We then have to translate it into something safe. ('Maybe we should jump from the tower in the local swimming pool first?')

13points

Legen ( wait for it ) dary 3 years ago

"They know what is the best for them". If would depend on my kids 5 and 3 they would watch cartoons all day long and eat only pasta Bolognese and pizza. I don't know how to translate this into something "useful /healthy"

3points

Load More Replies...

ST4WBeRRi FrOg 3 years ago

I have one...Telling kids that being part of the lgbtq+ is bad or you shouldn't be an allie.. this in my opinion is dumb because kids are young and are still trying to find themselfs I'm non-binary who grew up in a lgbtq+phobic household and when I then figured out myself I got really scared and upset because I thought if I told my family they would get pissed ( which they did) which led me into deppression. also saying kids wont understand lgbtq+ and are doing for a trend please kids are saying they n word for no reason and cussing ,starting good protests. please kids know things about the world and if a kid is lgbtq+ you might not agree I cant force you too but please respect it.

9points

ST4WBeRRi FrOg 3 years ago

Also Cischet people can be apart of the LGBTQ+ Straight Asexuals and Aromantics.

6points

Load More Replies...

Cynthia Bonville 3 years ago

Something we need to tell children and adults is that parents are not perfect, they are very imperfect - but as human beings they are striving to work on that. Ideally they have improved on how their parents raised them and their children will do more so if they have children. I have generational trauma that my father survived, while he did not visit it on us there were other things (his trauma leaking out making him kind of weird), I know I will do the same but we acknowledge it in our family. There is something I will unknowingly pass on, while I can't stop that I can admit that it's probably there and make room for more healing.

7points

Piet Puk 3 years ago

Children should be free from religion. I never understood how some parents could dictate their children what to believe.

3points

Oerff On Tour 3 years ago

Reminds me of "Religion is like a penis. It's ok to have it. It's even ok to be proud of it. But it's NOT ok to talk about it all the time. AND IT'S DEFINITELY NOT OK TO SHOVE IT DOWN OUR CHILDREN'S THROATS "

4points

Load More Replies...

Lilith the Demon Panda 3 years ago

is it just me or is this server getting more and more f****d up every day? replies appearing under wrong comments, comments disappearing randomly when clicked on "view more comments/replies", upvoting and downvoting doesn't work at all...

2points

Lauren Caswell 3 years ago

Yes! Comments are wrong, the downvoted ones are at the top....I'm glad it's not just me!

1point

Load More Replies...

eimipet 3 years ago

I *HAVE* to show my parents this. They do a few of these....

1point

Chenandoa 3 years ago

One thing I would like to add: yes, teach your child to entertain themselves, but also spend time with them. My mom was SOOO pleased I left her alone (happily) while she worked on her master's. However, I remeber feeling sad at times because she was too busy for me to show her my puzzle, or whatever. Now, I am struggling to figure out how to entertain myself, and when I ask my mom (who has nothing to do but sit and worry all day) to play a bored game with me, or something time consuming, or even to just let me read a fiction book out loud to her, she almost always refuses...and I feel she has no interesting in doing something together. In fact, just 5 years ago, a request to do something with her was usually answered with "let's take a nap". I have literally napped ONCE since I was younger than 3.

1point

Monica Pryts 3 years ago

Stop telling them that Covid is a cold and that face masks will kill them.

0points

soniacccccccccc 3 years ago

the one thing parents must not teach their children is that illnesses are bad and are things you can use as slang. For example, where I live, all kids (mostly 8 year old boys) love to use the word schizophrenic as an insult. THIS IS NOT OK. WHY? And mental illnesses are also considered funny and stupid. this is not okay and it needs to stop. And no, I am not sexist. It's just the fact that boys here are taught that it's okay to make fun of people. And they are also really pressured by society to be "cool" and use these words. Just so you know, most don't even know what the word means.

0points

Mi Shield 3 years ago

This made me hate and distrust myself, it also ruined my mood and I probably should have stopped reading before I got down here. So that's kinda on me.

0points

KatCloud 3 years ago

My parents told me to stop saying ‘I don’t know’ and shrugging because it’s not the ‘right’ answer. They told me I was being too moody and blamed it on my, not my hormones. I am becoming a teenager now, and everyone blames it on me. It’s not like I can stop growing up. Another thing would be that my parents would punish me, I’d ask what I did wrong and they’d give me some stupid excuse like ‘because I said so’ or ‘I’m the parent’. This even happened with my friends, when I was in grade 1 or 2. They said they could tell me what to do because they were older than me. And one more thing: my parents force me to socialise with people I don’t know. Like, my parents’ friends and their kids. I never knew them but I was forced to say hello, greet myself and play with them. Once, I was going for a walk, and my brother and I went ahead of my parents, there was a lady, a man and two children. Then, the lady said hello to us. We didn’t know if she was a stranger or a friend.

0points

Genevieve B 3 years ago

We make it now seem like it's bad to be weird. my parents have always made sure i embrace my inner weird, and Im thankful for that.

0points

Logically Reasonable 3 years ago

I'm shocked that "Because I said so" wasn't on the list, much less #1 on the list!! ............ And I think it's what is NOT being taught to kids anymore = self reliance, honesty, compassion, manners, etiquette, social responsibility, social manners, social etiquette, think for yourself, what you see on TV is ENTERTAINMENT NOT REALITY OR TRUTH, don't expect other people to do it for you or think it for you because they aren't you, other people live on this planet so don't be an ass, theres a time and place for everything, and sex is NOT the most important thing, much less the end-all, be-all, super duper awesome thing the lying media and fake TV tells you it is. Some people go their whole lives without sex, and are extremely happy people.

0points

Monica Pryts 2 years ago

It's #15.

0points

Load More Replies...

Yugan Talovich 3 years ago

As a teacher, I'd like to add: don't worry too much about your homework, some time to goof off and a good night's sleep are more important.

0points

Chris 3 years ago

This week's "really obvious parenting" post, with tips to avoid things that nobody in their right mind would actually do. Stay tuned, Hans will be along in a minute with a recommended reading list of books he hasn't read.

0points

Leo Domitrix 3 years ago

Actually these aren't obvious to a lot of people. It's like some weird "reflex" to just say stuff we heard/were taught, and it's hard to break the cycle.

3points

Load More Replies...

Eslamala 3 years ago

The first thing people need to stop teaching to their kids is religion. Your kids aren't born stupid. Your indoctrination turns them into idiots.

0points

Lauren Caswell 3 years ago

Actually, as a kid my parents (I guess they are Christian, although they don't attend church etc), they would take my sister and I to the local Presbyterian church, until we were 8 & 11, then said we could choose if we wished to keep going. We didn't. But it meant that I got perspective on religion, and kept me from being judgemental of those who choose religion; I could see the sense of community and positivity that came from that local church. It also opened my mind just enough to take philosophy of religion at uni, which has given me a better understanding of religions of which I was ignorant. Summary: I'm agnostic more than atheist, and I respect other people's religious choices. I don't accept the misuse of religion to excuse mistreatment however. All religions share common threads and similar tales within them, and love and tolerance are meant to be core aspects of most religion.

3points

Load More Replies...

Leo Domitrix 3 years ago

At Eslamala, It's not your thing, fine. But don't condemn it in all others, please. For some, it's a remarkably stabilizing force in their lives, and it's onlly as evil as the people make it. Not evil of itself, IMHO. (And don't start telling me about how religion led to XYZ wars. Yeah. Wars started by.... people who couldn't follow basic commandments to chill out, live an dlet live, be kind, and stop killing.)

2points

Cynthia Bonville 3 years ago

My dude, that is how religion is passed on - by examples of our cultural values. Religion is not harmful if it is not harmful (like doesn't preach hate or us vs. other for e.g.), and in fact multiple studies exist that expound on the value of religious practice - from longer life, greater pleasure in life, greater social connection, lower rates of heart disease, addictions, high blood pressure - you name it. Don't toss out everything because some of it seems distasteful and I will remind you that we're not idiots - that is a very ignorant over-simplification. Our faith is a gift I give my children, they are free to walk away if they choose but I am very aware a faith family will improve their health, lifespan and happiness in life.

1point

Soviet_catto 3 years ago

By indoctrination do you mean religion, or idiot opinions like antivax, flat earth, etc...

0points

Caroline 3 years ago

I do notice that this new generation has got less respect for anything and anyone than before, and shy away from responsibilities. It's always someone else's fault. I AM generalizing, but this is what I am witnessing around me. And with my own children!

-2points

angie but who cares 3 years ago

if you do things worthy of respect you will get it gen z here

5points

Load More Replies...

Owen Salmon2028 3 years ago

oh god ok im thinking of starting a new place contry underwater so i dont have my children learn these lies

-3points

Rakjell Hanwell 3 years ago

As a nursery school teacher I want to add a lie, we always tell parents: that they are the 'experts' for their own child. No. The 'Expert' for your child is your child. They know, what is best for them. They might have difficulties voicing it, but it is our job to help them translate. Sure, kids love to do risky things, but not because they don't know what is good for them, but because they don't know much about the world yet. If a kid tells you, that they want to jump down the Niagara falls, what they are telling you probably is: 'I want to explore', 'I want to be somewhere high up and see the world from a new perspective' 'Or I want to go to the water'. They tell you, which learning experiences at that moment would benefit their development. We then have to translate it into something safe. ('Maybe we should jump from the tower in the local swimming pool first?')

13points

Legen ( wait for it ) dary 3 years ago

"They know what is the best for them". If would depend on my kids 5 and 3 they would watch cartoons all day long and eat only pasta Bolognese and pizza. I don't know how to translate this into something "useful /healthy"

3points

Load More Replies...

ST4WBeRRi FrOg 3 years ago

I have one...Telling kids that being part of the lgbtq+ is bad or you shouldn't be an allie.. this in my opinion is dumb because kids are young and are still trying to find themselfs I'm non-binary who grew up in a lgbtq+phobic household and when I then figured out myself I got really scared and upset because I thought if I told my family they would get pissed ( which they did) which led me into deppression. also saying kids wont understand lgbtq+ and are doing for a trend please kids are saying they n word for no reason and cussing ,starting good protests. please kids know things about the world and if a kid is lgbtq+ you might not agree I cant force you too but please respect it.

9points

ST4WBeRRi FrOg 3 years ago

Also Cischet people can be apart of the LGBTQ+ Straight Asexuals and Aromantics.

6points

Load More Replies...

Cynthia Bonville 3 years ago

Something we need to tell children and adults is that parents are not perfect, they are very imperfect - but as human beings they are striving to work on that. Ideally they have improved on how their parents raised them and their children will do more so if they have children. I have generational trauma that my father survived, while he did not visit it on us there were other things (his trauma leaking out making him kind of weird), I know I will do the same but we acknowledge it in our family. There is something I will unknowingly pass on, while I can't stop that I can admit that it's probably there and make room for more healing.

7points

Piet Puk 3 years ago

Children should be free from religion. I never understood how some parents could dictate their children what to believe.

3points

Oerff On Tour 3 years ago

Reminds me of "Religion is like a penis. It's ok to have it. It's even ok to be proud of it. But it's NOT ok to talk about it all the time. AND IT'S DEFINITELY NOT OK TO SHOVE IT DOWN OUR CHILDREN'S THROATS "

4points

Load More Replies...

Lilith the Demon Panda 3 years ago

is it just me or is this server getting more and more f****d up every day? replies appearing under wrong comments, comments disappearing randomly when clicked on "view more comments/replies", upvoting and downvoting doesn't work at all...

2points

Lauren Caswell 3 years ago

Yes! Comments are wrong, the downvoted ones are at the top....I'm glad it's not just me!

1point

Load More Replies...

eimipet 3 years ago

I *HAVE* to show my parents this. They do a few of these....

1point

Chenandoa 3 years ago

One thing I would like to add: yes, teach your child to entertain themselves, but also spend time with them. My mom was SOOO pleased I left her alone (happily) while she worked on her master's. However, I remeber feeling sad at times because she was too busy for me to show her my puzzle, or whatever. Now, I am struggling to figure out how to entertain myself, and when I ask my mom (who has nothing to do but sit and worry all day) to play a bored game with me, or something time consuming, or even to just let me read a fiction book out loud to her, she almost always refuses...and I feel she has no interesting in doing something together. In fact, just 5 years ago, a request to do something with her was usually answered with "let's take a nap". I have literally napped ONCE since I was younger than 3.

1point

Monica Pryts 3 years ago

Stop telling them that Covid is a cold and that face masks will kill them.

0points

soniacccccccccc 3 years ago

the one thing parents must not teach their children is that illnesses are bad and are things you can use as slang. For example, where I live, all kids (mostly 8 year old boys) love to use the word schizophrenic as an insult. THIS IS NOT OK. WHY? And mental illnesses are also considered funny and stupid. this is not okay and it needs to stop. And no, I am not sexist. It's just the fact that boys here are taught that it's okay to make fun of people. And they are also really pressured by society to be "cool" and use these words. Just so you know, most don't even know what the word means.

0points

Mi Shield 3 years ago

This made me hate and distrust myself, it also ruined my mood and I probably should have stopped reading before I got down here. So that's kinda on me.

0points

KatCloud 3 years ago

My parents told me to stop saying ‘I don’t know’ and shrugging because it’s not the ‘right’ answer. They told me I was being too moody and blamed it on my, not my hormones. I am becoming a teenager now, and everyone blames it on me. It’s not like I can stop growing up. Another thing would be that my parents would punish me, I’d ask what I did wrong and they’d give me some stupid excuse like ‘because I said so’ or ‘I’m the parent’. This even happened with my friends, when I was in grade 1 or 2. They said they could tell me what to do because they were older than me. And one more thing: my parents force me to socialise with people I don’t know. Like, my parents’ friends and their kids. I never knew them but I was forced to say hello, greet myself and play with them. Once, I was going for a walk, and my brother and I went ahead of my parents, there was a lady, a man and two children. Then, the lady said hello to us. We didn’t know if she was a stranger or a friend.

0points

Genevieve B 3 years ago

We make it now seem like it's bad to be weird. my parents have always made sure i embrace my inner weird, and Im thankful for that.

0points

Logically Reasonable 3 years ago

I'm shocked that "Because I said so" wasn't on the list, much less #1 on the list!! ............ And I think it's what is NOT being taught to kids anymore = self reliance, honesty, compassion, manners, etiquette, social responsibility, social manners, social etiquette, think for yourself, what you see on TV is ENTERTAINMENT NOT REALITY OR TRUTH, don't expect other people to do it for you or think it for you because they aren't you, other people live on this planet so don't be an ass, theres a time and place for everything, and sex is NOT the most important thing, much less the end-all, be-all, super duper awesome thing the lying media and fake TV tells you it is. Some people go their whole lives without sex, and are extremely happy people.

0points

Monica Pryts 2 years ago

It's #15.

0points

Load More Replies...

Yugan Talovich 3 years ago

As a teacher, I'd like to add: don't worry too much about your homework, some time to goof off and a good night's sleep are more important.

0points

Chris 3 years ago

This week's "really obvious parenting" post, with tips to avoid things that nobody in their right mind would actually do. Stay tuned, Hans will be along in a minute with a recommended reading list of books he hasn't read.

0points

Leo Domitrix 3 years ago

Actually these aren't obvious to a lot of people. It's like some weird "reflex" to just say stuff we heard/were taught, and it's hard to break the cycle.

3points

Load More Replies...

Eslamala 3 years ago

The first thing people need to stop teaching to their kids is religion. Your kids aren't born stupid. Your indoctrination turns them into idiots.

0points

Lauren Caswell 3 years ago

Actually, as a kid my parents (I guess they are Christian, although they don't attend church etc), they would take my sister and I to the local Presbyterian church, until we were 8 & 11, then said we could choose if we wished to keep going. We didn't. But it meant that I got perspective on religion, and kept me from being judgemental of those who choose religion; I could see the sense of community and positivity that came from that local church. It also opened my mind just enough to take philosophy of religion at uni, which has given me a better understanding of religions of which I was ignorant. Summary: I'm agnostic more than atheist, and I respect other people's religious choices. I don't accept the misuse of religion to excuse mistreatment however. All religions share common threads and similar tales within them, and love and tolerance are meant to be core aspects of most religion.

3points

Load More Replies...

Leo Domitrix 3 years ago

At Eslamala, It's not your thing, fine. But don't condemn it in all others, please. For some, it's a remarkably stabilizing force in their lives, and it's onlly as evil as the people make it. Not evil of itself, IMHO. (And don't start telling me about how religion led to XYZ wars. Yeah. Wars started by.... people who couldn't follow basic commandments to chill out, live an dlet live, be kind, and stop killing.)

2points

Cynthia Bonville 3 years ago

My dude, that is how religion is passed on - by examples of our cultural values. Religion is not harmful if it is not harmful (like doesn't preach hate or us vs. other for e.g.), and in fact multiple studies exist that expound on the value of religious practice - from longer life, greater pleasure in life, greater social connection, lower rates of heart disease, addictions, high blood pressure - you name it. Don't toss out everything because some of it seems distasteful and I will remind you that we're not idiots - that is a very ignorant over-simplification. Our faith is a gift I give my children, they are free to walk away if they choose but I am very aware a faith family will improve their health, lifespan and happiness in life.

1point

Soviet_catto 3 years ago

By indoctrination do you mean religion, or idiot opinions like antivax, flat earth, etc...

0points

Caroline 3 years ago

I do notice that this new generation has got less respect for anything and anyone than before, and shy away from responsibilities. It's always someone else's fault. I AM generalizing, but this is what I am witnessing around me. And with my own children!

-2points

angie but who cares 3 years ago

if you do things worthy of respect you will get it gen z here

5points

Load More Replies...

Owen Salmon2028 3 years ago

oh god ok im thinking of starting a new place contry underwater so i dont have my children learn these lies

-3points

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