yeah its stupid

LET THEM CRY!

This is so true. Spot on!

Yes!

YES if we don't question adults, oppressive systems will stay THE SAME we will just pass them down and never make any progress.

EMBRACE THE FAILURE

Exactly. People often have bad assumptions of teenagers, but they have myriads of issues they don't talk about.

I agree, this doesn't allow children to self regulate and know when they are full. It me years to unlearn this behavior.

I agree with this 100%. I also hate the saying that everything is possible if you put your mind to it. Umm no, not everything is possible for everyone.

The best way to 'deal' with a kid who is constantly snitching on others for minute things, in my experience, is to take them seriously and if it is possible (which with small conflicts between children it normally almost always is) to tell them to resolve the conflict on their own, by talking. Or, if the snitching kid actually was the one causing the conflict, to show them that you are aware of who actually started it ('Sarah was mean to me!' 'That is not nice, but I also saw you taking away her stuff. Could it be that she wasn't nice to you because of that?') Snitching becomes much less exciting, when there is no adult who goes berserk on the one your snitching on (or if you get caught doing something 'bad' yourself)

*raises hand* me. I get bullied

Tattling vs reporting. Is it small, solved, not harmful? Ignore. Is it big, hurting someone, and you need help solving it? Report.

the reason why they don't tell is because they already know the adult wont lift a finger to help

THIS. Back years ago, kids would often bully my friends and I’m the type of person to go immediately tell on them. Once, a boy had his phone open in class. Now, I’m not mean enough to to get someone in trouble just because they wanted to text their mom for lunch or something. But this dude was taking pictures... of my FRIEND. Her SKIRT. He noticed me seething, laughed and told me not to snitch or else he’d post it. I raised my hand and said, very loudly, “[Name] took pictures of [name]’s skirt and he said he’d post it online!” He got suspended. When I asked my friend later, she had known too, yet she had been called a tattler and didn’t want to get called a snitch again. Its STUPID that she thought that.

yeah I mean if its serious speak up but dont be a snitch for little things

One time during recess, I told the teacher about my friend who was throwing grass at me, and she told her to stop. Not less than 5 minutes later, I was walking around on the beams at the edge of the playground, and some kid literally shoved me to the ground just because I was in the way. I came to the teacher crying and trying to tell her what happened, but she dismissed me because I "already told on someone this recess". Wtf.

I hate this, it's the attitude that criminals have. We shouldn't be teaching our kids to think like this, just because we're too lazy to do our jobs as parents.

True story when I was in first grade if told on someone they would make you put a pice of tissue in the back of your pants so people knew you was a rat

It's more of a teach them what is important to come forward about and what is ultimately only going to damage their social life. Telling on someone for barley violating the dress code or or something ultimately harmless is only going to end in hatred from their peers

I've never understood this. You are the teacher and you made the rules. Kids tattle because they see the rules not being enforced consistently. A better way would be "let me handle it, it's not your job" if it's not happening to said tattle tail, and if it is- to handle it as best you can.

My son is 9 and we have had this conversation many times. I have made a distinction of whistle blowing and tattle tailing. One is important and one is trivial. If someone is in danger, or violence is involved you must go get help. I say this knowing that if he would try to handle the situation himself he could also be implicated as a wrong doer. Example, Ben slaps Tony, Tony must not slap back in self defense or he will be punished as well. This is for young children to learn. When my son enters middle school, I will teach him that the guidelines have slightly changed. He will be older and more mature to assess the situation and resolve it on his own, without having to run and tell. If he can not resolve the conflict, then he should ask for help. He is to learn, that by telling an adult or teacher the situation, in order to get help, is the right decision. Telling, because you are mad and want to get someone in trouble, is something to avoid.

Agreed. Happened to me when telling a teacher about kids being mean to another kid.

Depending on where you live, snitches get stitches

I don't think this one is taught by us adults. This is more a matter of peer pressure. Still, it's important to address this one indeed.

So many.

Again, this comes from people thinking girls are easier to control. "It is easier for us to teach the girl that she likes being hit than it is for us to teach the boy to stop hitting."

Oh, I'm not totally fine with this. Sometimes some guidance can be refreshing too for that kid that has a hard time connecting or little Bobby has been hogging that car the whole day. Small children totally act on instinct. Helping them look at other angles isn't going to hurt anyone. Just don't force anything. Hugs and physical contact? Totally agree. Although I feel this is more of an American thing?

It's more than that, it's that being wrong will get you made fun of. Being wrong makes you an idiot.

I am just curious but do any other countries do abstinence based sex education or is it really only America?

How can punishment have any positive effect when the child has no idea what they did wrong?

That is a good thing to teach.

Yes I hate this. People even say it to adults. We are entitled to our feelings, doesn’t matter if someone has a worse life than us, everyone copes with things differently.

So true - it is important to understand what 'no' means and to take it seriously, but also be able to use it when it is needed. Teach them early, and consent won't be an issue.

Best one

Growing up, I was all about the backtalk. My father found it amusing that I was a wise-ass. My mother hated it because it was so unbecoming of a young lady.

Very true. If you can dish it, then you can take it.

Sweety, even your own eyes deceive you. Always be open for changes to your reality.

I always tell my kids to never ever start a fight, but I will always be on their side when they retaliate. I am allowing them to defend themselves anyway they can, regardless of school rules. The attacker should be the one being punished not the defender.

so true, here in the US, our education system is MESSED UP we need to rethink how and what we teach our children

Participation trophies may lead to giving no effort at all in my opinion. Why would someone try if they're going to get praised anyway? Embrace failure, learn from it and if you want to succeed you can try harder next time :)

My 'favorite mum was the one who wouldn't allow the nursery school I worked in to take any photos of their child (making her child the only one who didn't get a memory book and learning portfolio) and screamed at me, because I (a man) was helping her daughter get dressed after she peed herself (she never objected to me doing so in advance and knew, that was one of my duties). She herself then proceeded to post hundreds of pictures of her daughter, including nude swimming pool photos, on facebook.

I was always told that “bullies are only jealous of you” - whilst that may be true, it doesn’t help with the problem and kind of puts the blame on the victim for somehow doing too well.

A lot of children nowadays are not accepting responsibilities. It's always someone else's fault. It makes me mad, especially as it's not just kids who do this, but society in general.

I believe when a kid starting to ask about sex, no matter what age, you the adult should explain it age appropriately. don't avoid it. don't mix with fantasy/myth/BS. just use the language level that they would understand.

And teach them how to let someone know they are uncomfortable. Like how to approach someone in a position higher than you to tell them youre not ok with something.