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A Man’s World: 30 Double Standards And Expectations That Haunt Women’s Childhoods
While, in theory, childhood is this magical carefree time, where we have a chance to just explore the world and do whatever we want, the fact is that this is just not the case for everyone. Where you were born plays a big part, as well as how much money your family happens to have, but one of the biggest differences might be growing up as a girl, as opposed to a boy.
Someone asked “Women, what do you feel is the hardest part about growing up as a girl?” and female netizens shared their thoughts. So get comfortable as you read through, upvote your favorite posts and be sure to share your own experiences in the comments section below.
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#1
We don't get to be carefree little girls for long due to so many men being goddamn predators.
RELATED:
#2
Learning how to deflect unwanted sexual advances from men/relatives from the time you hit puberty.
BoredPossum 5 months ago
I shouldn't have started reading this list. The world is an ugly ugly place!
#3
The day you realize that little boys are treated better than you.
I didn't want to be a girl when I was little. I truly hated being a girl. I didn't want to be a boy either. I didn't have gender issues. I had society issues. It took a long time to realize that me being a girl wasn't the problem. The problem was that every successful person we talked about was a man. The other was that little boys could physically assault little girls, and no one cared. The other was that girls had to play nicely and sit nicely because of our clothes.
The realization that being a girl means moving through the world so differently is devastating.
Alvia Vseobecna 5 months ago
I always shut other similarly minded adults up about these topics. They literally cannot compute what I am saying most of the time and I have to forcefully shut down the topic. This behaviour should not be tolerated.
#4
Body issues… I learned to hate my body at a very young age. In my mid thirties and I’m still struggling to learn to love myself the way I am.
5 months ago
honestly all my insecurities began at home, mostly from my parents. im used to it now, and i don't take in other people's comments as much, or i know how to respond in a way that'll help me stay calm, if that makes sense. also now i have some of the best friends ever who help me stay confident and they are all rlly fun too :D ive come to realise the reason i was so shy before was bc i was insecure and didn't want to be judged, but later i became much more extroverted lol. also im more open abt my problems now. as a teen, i personally feel life is easier now than it used to be when i was younger. 💁🏾♀️
#5
EARLY SEXUALISATION / HARASSMENT -> lifelong trauma and damage.
PARENTIFICATION which stunts childs natural development (for example in case of younger siblings girls are required to look after them).
WASTED POTENTIAL (not enough spaces to nourish girls talents in science maths chess and IT).
Edit: oh and a f*****g bonus point if you are a girl growing up in a religious family..
Constantly being told your purpose in life is to birth children and be a good wife. 🤮🤮🤮.
#6
The constant mixed signals like the speech in Barbie. Be yourself but not if you’re too loud or girly or not girly or like sex but don’t like it too much. Be smart but able to be dumb at a moment’s notice. Have an opinion but not THAT opinion. Like your body but don’t say it out loud. Always criticize yourself out loud but not just for attention. Be successful but acknowledge all the other people who helped you even if they didn’t. Are you eating that? Again? And that much? Why aren’t you eating? Don’t cry. Cry but only when someone else thinks it’s valid. God you’re a cold b***h don’t you have any emotions? Know everything all the time but don’t let anyone else know that you know. God you’re such a follower. God you’re too independent you know that?
I could go on and on and on. It’s exhausting.
#7
The fear / reality of sexual assault.
Oh and periods.
Lil Miss Hobbit 5 months ago
Not walking after dark. Carrying pepper spray from my job to my car. Never going to the bathroom alone.
#8
My father once said to me “if you didn’t want to cook and clean, then you shouldn’t have chosen to be born a girl.”
My mistake. .
#9
Expectation of having children.
I hate feeling like I am worth less because I do not want to put my body and mind through a pregnancy.
#10
That women can be their own worst enemy and drag down girls and young women with them. Like supporting/voting for misogynists. Edited to fix a missing word.
#11
I'll second sexual harassment, catcalling, and body issues from a very young age and add not being able to display your emotions and still be taken seriously. I hear so much from men saying that boys aren't able to express their emotions, and while this is true to some extent (the patriarchy hurts everyone!), they can express anger and have it be taken seriously. For women, it's immediately dismissed as hormonal/PMS/stereotypes (e.g., "angry Black woman"). If we express sadness, see above. If we express a legitimate concern (especially medical), it's dismissed as "anxiety". Women/girls aren't allowed to express emotions without societal repercussions any more than men/boys are, it just looks different for us (and can have more disastrous consequences, esp. medical).
Michael Largey 5 months ago
Catcalling. Guys, it's simple. Don't say anything to a woman on the street that you wouldn't want a man to say to you in prison.
#12
Being sl*tshamed and harrrased, always having to take care of others and being the bigger person, being told you purpose in life is giving birth.
Lauren Caswell 5 months ago
We are sl*ts or frigid, it seems. Especially true when we are under 30, though it never ends its just more targeted as we aren't as ready to protect ourselves at that age.
#13
Being constantly dismissed and therefore denied adequate help, compensation, etc.
Kerensa Scott 5 months ago
most female medical problems being under researched and dismissed by the medical community. having to fight just to be heard
#14
Being expected to be "polite" to everyone - take s**t from everyone, have low standards, accept manchildren as your partner, try to "see the best" in people who wrong you, people please.
Being sexualised from infancy.
Being treated like an infant in adulthood.
KillerKiwi 5 months ago
Being expected to be polite to everyone but then men think that just because you’re polite to them you’re obviously attracted to them. 🙄
#15
Worrying about body image from quite a young age. Am I fat? Am I too fat? Am I fit enough? Am I too muscley? Am I too skinny now? Am I skinny enough? Endless. .
#16
Sexual harassment and occasional assault from heterosexual men.
Alvia Vseobecna 5 months ago
I had some very bad experiences... until I learned how to defend myself.
#17
As a girl: Being thrown into a world made and designed for men with no one to help contextualize this properly so I understand better why I'm not actually a huge failure at what I choose to undertake.
As a teenager: being taught everything that is dangerous about sex (unwanted pregnancy, STDs...), but not about how to be comfortable with my own sexuality, or how pleasurable sex can be for women, how important it is, and how to achieve this - would have helped me so much more growing up
So far for my entire life: Periods. Seriously.
Inconvenient. Uncomfortable. Painful. Sometimes can lead to major embarrassment. Can put a damper on: events, vacations, sometimes I even have to adapt what I wear based on the day and flow... F**k tampon commercials trying to make anyone believe women need to live through this by dancing around in a white dress feeling pure bliss.
Kerensa Scott 5 months ago
only being able to fit into certain clothes because of severe pain and bloating :(
#18
Being underestimated and questioned while men are seen for potential; I had this incredible self confidence as a kid that was crushed in my teen years that I’ve worked my whole life to find back.
#19
For me it was mostly seeing how there were different rules for me than for my brothers, especially in terms of freedom.
Edit to say: I'm kind of baffled with all these replies and grateful to say that my wonderful parents raised me as the tomboy that I was with (almost) no complaints. My comment was addressed at things like going out alone or being out after dark. .
Lil Miss Hobbit 5 months ago
I grew up fairly conservative and my parents worked so hard to made things fair for both their boys and girls. They decided that "If we want to protect the girls by having them in non-revealing swimwear in public, then we're not going to have the boys shirtless." That has always made sense to me. No double standard. If the boys were shirtless, we got bikinis. And if we didn't get bikinis, than the boys were modest too. And yes, this was only when we were young and directly under their care (pre-teen, young teens).
#20
The body shaming started really early for me. I was called fat by everyone from my classmates to my father to my medical providers, then I slimmed down but my breasts grew big and fast so I was mocked for that; my mom started insinuating I was a s**t by the age of about 12. I didn’t even lose my virginity until I was almost 20 because I thought I was a big ugly monster.
It took me so, so long to unpack the trauma of growing up in the early/mid 2000s. Now I’m 34 and just dipping my toes in the water of intentional weight loss after decades of not being able to do it without spiraling into an eating disorder, because I’m edging on high blood pressure and want to be able to go hiking w my friends without being a drag.
Don’t get me started on navigating the minefield of dating hetero men.
Susie Elle 5 months ago (edited)
The 90's and the 00's were a toxic couple of decades. Just yesterday I was remembering how during soccer tournaments (the european championships just ended) they would fill the commercialbreaks with the "World Championships Lingerie", where, and I s**t you not, it would be just 15 minutes of pretty women in their underwear trying to shoot penalties. It was ... I can't even describe it. Everything about that era (and before that time as well), was about men, and women's appearance.
#21
Finding out what kind of p*rn men like. That our pleasure doesnt matter. That many men m**turbate to women/girls suffering.
Nimitz 5 months ago
This is something that weirded me out. Back when I still thought I was straight I remember buddies sharing porn. It really baffled and kinda frightened me how many of them really, really liked porn where the woman was being degraded. No one controls what kinks they end up with, but seriously, wtf guys?
#22
The patriarchy. Sexism, misogyny, double-standards, assault, predatory men, etc etc etc.
Anna Drever 5 months ago
A comment for ByeFelcia since they’re downvoted and I can’t directly reply… maybe listen to what women are saying instead of just dismissing them. If everything men do gives them the ick then maybe do better.
#24
Abuse. You pick the type.
Littlemiss 5 months ago
According to my family the abuse didn't count because I was a girl. Sexual abuse, must have asked for it. Physical abuse, you deserve it because you're too sensitive. Verbal abuse, mental and emotional abuse.... the list goes on. That was just my family.
#25
I was lucky and didn’t have a lot of the terrible experiences that girls and women have, but for me it was the double standard. My brother can do no wrong and he was able to do more because he was a boy and “it’s different for girls”.
VikingAbroad 5 months ago
And girls being taught to make rooms for the boys. 'they are later developed than girls. Bear with them.' why not teach the boys to actually look up to smart girls?
#26
The tragedy of womanhood. As a child you believe you have an inate worth as a person, equal to everyone else. And then the slow horror creeps in through the years as it dawns on you that society does not value you as a person and your only worth is in your body and how you can benefit the men around you.
#27
Requirements and judgement.
My mistakes are taken more aggressively and poorly than dudes.
#28
The never ending judgment and instance on compliance. I'm a women bringing up girls, it would be so very easy to teach them to be submissive and compliant but f**k easy. My girls rebel, they will push gender norms, they won't just accept "you need to..." , they are their own people, they may fall down but I'll pick them up,they will want to comply and fit in and I'll support them to be themselves. Bringing up girls harder than being one.
#29
Being out late at night (the double standard is extremely icky) and feeling unsafe. Being told that you shouldn't travel alone...
Alvia Vseobecna 5 months ago
I understand the frustration.. but unfortunatelly it is necessary
#30
Wondering what do with your f**kability. On the one hand, you learn early on that f**kability = money, power, influence (M P I). On the other hand, you learn that achieving M P I through f**kability is somehow more vulgar than every other way people get money, power and influence.
Being a wage-stealing s**tbag, just barely to the right side of a plantation owner = WOOHOO!, Elect that man to be the president and invite him to speak at Harvard's graduation!!! Be a millionaire sex worker, and it's "eww... she so stupid and all she did was a sex tape." Mmm kay.
The same mother who shames you for getting fat and "unf**kable" in her eyes is the same one that will shame you for expressing any form of your sexuality. Am I supposed to f**kable or not? Am I supposed to want to be f**kable or not? Am I supposed to use f**kability as a means to M P I or not? Am I supposed to have a say in my f**kability at all? What if I don't give a flying rat's a*s about my f**kability? Getting older makes some of the answers more clear but not always.
What do you think ?
Michael Largey 5 months ago
Another double standard - a man's "No" and a woman's "No" are not treated equally. And this is true even outside of sexual invitation.
Sky Render 5 months ago (edited)
For me the worst part was my father. He saw all girls and women as sex objects, including his own daughter. To the point that he basically forced me to pretend to be male just so he wouldn't molest me nightly. (It's complicated; I was born intersex, and my body was entirely capable of being made either male or female as it started out a unique mix of both. Never did I identify with the male part of that divide, but with a father like that, it was the safest choice. Thankfully he's long gone from my life and I can actually live as the woman I am instead of the man he wanted me to play at being.)
LB 5 months ago
I'm so glad you are free now, Sky. May you receive lots of blessings and good vibes!
Load More Replies...
Zedrapazia 5 months ago
It's a shame how many people on this list suffer from body image issues and the inability to voice their own opinions comfortably. We really gotta step up as a society and stop objectifying people, it's been overdue since ever and nobody benefits from it. Not even the men, who get driven into all sorts of different toxic stereotypes.
Jill Rhodry 5 months ago
The overriding theme I noticed was sexual assault and predation.
Load More Replies... Michael Largey 5 months ago
Another double standard - a man's "No" and a woman's "No" are not treated equally. And this is true even outside of sexual invitation.
Sky Render 5 months ago (edited)
For me the worst part was my father. He saw all girls and women as sex objects, including his own daughter. To the point that he basically forced me to pretend to be male just so he wouldn't molest me nightly. (It's complicated; I was born intersex, and my body was entirely capable of being made either male or female as it started out a unique mix of both. Never did I identify with the male part of that divide, but with a father like that, it was the safest choice. Thankfully he's long gone from my life and I can actually live as the woman I am instead of the man he wanted me to play at being.)
LB 5 months ago
I'm so glad you are free now, Sky. May you receive lots of blessings and good vibes!
Load More Replies... Zedrapazia 5 months ago
It's a shame how many people on this list suffer from body image issues and the inability to voice their own opinions comfortably. We really gotta step up as a society and stop objectifying people, it's been overdue since ever and nobody benefits from it. Not even the men, who get driven into all sorts of different toxic stereotypes.
Jill Rhodry 5 months ago
The overriding theme I noticed was sexual assault and predation.
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