Oh, sweetheart, please take your post to your parents, a teacher or an adult you trust and ask for some help. Your description of your symptoms sounds like disassociation and that is a very significant indication of major depression. I know from experience as both of my daughters suffered from this during their adolescence, as did I. Treatment works, it takes time but it does work and you will come out on the other side one day. You are not alone <3

@bookfan: I love your analogy. You sound like a very creative and imaginative person. I've suffered from depression since childhood, and my first major episode was when I was not quite 15. I'd like to offer some advice: start keeping a journal. Get a pretty one that makes you happy just to look at it and hold it. You don't need to write everyday. Write short stories, poems (they don't have to be perfect, no one but you will ever read them), letters to people you have lost in your life, and letters to people who have hurt you, made you angry or disappointed you (they will never see them). Then go back and read your entries from time to time. This helps you to see the progress you have made, and helps you to keep things in perspective (your memory likes to play tricks on you). It will also remind you of the people who were kind to you or supportive. It will also help you to get to know better the unique person who is YOU. Sending love and hope and best wishes. ❤👍

You are very eloquent. I have also felt like I'm behind a glass wall though I imagine mine as being slightly murky in places and what I do want to see, I can't. Deborah and BusLady have made good suggestions. I've found taking my dogs out for a walk and focusing on their pleasure to be helpful but not every one has or can have a dog. Other than that reading, reading, reading. Also sending hope and best wishes. ♥

Hey, I get how you feel. Im 13 as well, I've struggled for months. It feels li,e so many things that make me hate my life, It's overwhelming. It's almost like a wave. I hate how I look, I hate my personality, I hate what I say, and I hate who I am. I never feel Iike anything I do is enough for anyone. I hate telling anyone face to face. It's easier on here because I'm not really here, but I always feel ashamed to tell someone, as if Im weak, or stupid. It starts a whole new cycle. The one time I tried to tell my parents, My dad got mad at me and called me an ingrate, because "I already have a great life, how could I be depressed? how could I want to possibly kill myself?" I relate so much to what you say about the glass room. I feel though, that everyone is constantly watching me in that room, analyzing me. Don't you wish you could break it?

I see you and I hear you and I feel the things which may - yet - have no name for you. But they will. And eventually others will see you and hear you and, yes, the feelings will have names and they will be feelings with names that you like. Keep searching, keep looking, keep going. You are worth the effort.

I'm sending love and force to you. One day at a time. I know it's difficult but better days will come. Just please don't give up. You are not alone, even if you feel like you are.

Bookfan please, please hold on. This site helped me a lot, it might help you, or someone you know>>>>. https://www.metanoia.org/<<<&lt; I can sooo relate to what you said. You can ring someone like Lifeline in Australia, 13 11 14 and just ask questions. If the first help you get does not help, tell them, and get them to try something else.

I feel the same way. I try to tell my parents about it but when I do they just say “oh no I don’t think you have depression your just too dramatic about everything.” And I hate it when people just say to talk about it to someone. I have a therapist but I honestly hate talking to her. She makes me feel like a insane person. My friends don’t have therapists. I don’t want anyone to of me of that crazy girl or the over dramatic or just that sad girl. I want them to think of me as one of them. I wanna be one of them. So I always wanna keep my mouth shut about what’s happening in my life, or else I fear that everyone will think of me differently.

I feel you right there. I am only 12 and many girls have broken my trust I feel like I cat trust any girls. the trust issues got worse in middle school. I hate my life right now, I make to many jokes about it and I hate my self for it. some days are better than others, and on those bad days, I draw. it helps me, and because of that, I have gotten so much better at drawing. many people compliment me, but in my head when they do compliment me, they see inside my head and try and make me feel better. I also don't really cry much anymore because of this one girl, and in my world, no matter were you are they can see you. it just keeps whispering the same thing over and over again. so yeah, feel you. im sorry if I wasted your time

Reading this makes me so glad that I had 16 years of normal life prior to depression. From then on, it has been a struggle with depression and anxiety. Regarding the last part of your comment, don't bother trying to please other people. The suffocation is only going to be continue as people will demand more. You have probably heard this alot and I know how hard it is to do so. People who don't see depression as a legitimate illness and put unreasonable expectations on you are influenced by the problem society we live in. They are the problem rather than you. As far as getting help, and advice, seeing a professional is always the best, because unlike others, the give better advice, they are trained to handle heavy subjects without being personally affected by it themselves, and can give you the right tools to cope with your situation. Medications take the edge off depression and are a great combination with regular therapy sessions. All the best.

I know how you feel I struggle with the same type thing. I am 12 (almost 13) and I just try to think of things that can break me out of the glass like friends, lovers, and books. Anything or anyone that I love helps me to be strong and break the glass. Then a few weeks later the glass has surrownded me again. Then you just have to start the process over again, and again, and again. I see you are a fan of books? Try thinking of your favorite book character to cheer you up! Or if you have a friend who read the same book as you then talk about it with them. In this way you could also make new friends! If this doesn't work try diffrent things until you find a solution thats best for you. Hope you find you solution!

Oh! I just wanna hug you. You are describing my life to the point of fault. When I told my parents I had depression ,they became scared and told me I m not ,I m just sad. They love me but don't want to deal with reality. Never believe in God's you all , it just makes us poppycock. I have always tried so desperately to ask for help, for them to just throw it in my face like it's any other day. It's so painful to go on everyday. I just wish it would stop. I don't even care anymore. It has become very distinctly clear that I was not made for this world. Wish u would get better though, it's already too late for me.

I'm sure that just his being there make you feel supported.

Wow ! You have just described me . I am the same. You are lucky your son comes by to see you. Mine is 32, and has a GF of 2 yrs and he is NOT allowed to see me since the week before Thanksgiving. So we had not Thanksgiving, then my Malamute died in early Dec, then no son for Christmas or New Years, and then my other dog died from Cancer. I was numb and did not do a damn thing except stare at my PC screen. I would write a list everyday and do nothing on it. The list is SO LONG now. But I am starting to come out of it. So I hope that you feel much better too .

I hope you find your solution too! I love your brother's advice keep working at it, and always have hope!