This, a million times over.

Often when parents have issues of such minor things it's really about their insecurities of what society thinks. My mom would tell me I looked homeless wearing 2 different pairs of socks and made this huge reaction about it. As if anyone would have noticed under long pants and runners.

We foster 6 kids, 3 of whom are toddlers. When the littlest was just over 2, we had had a long day running errands and it was quickly approaching nap time. He was fussy and cranky and completely inconsolable. He was 2, tired, hangry, and didn't have the words that adults do to explain how he was feeling. Several times we passed an older lady with her 2 daughters and 3 grandkids. Finally it got to be too much so I just sat down on the floor and held him while I rocked and rubbed his back. The older lady was going past the end of the aisle on her scooter and stopped and backed up just to tell me that I was doing a great job. She said it was refreshing to see a young mom not screaming at, ignoring, punishing or threatening punishment, or even trying to bribe the child ito behaving well when a tiny one was melting down. It's sad that this was something that even needed to be said. As adults we need to take a step back and realize that our children are all pieces of our collective future...

I had an excellent Early Childhood Psychology professor who gave some very good insights into these behaviors. Children are extremely egocentric by nature. They don't yet have a full understanding of the world and how/where they fit into it. But as they grow up, they start to learn these things little by little. To a child, the world is a playground. This is how they learn about social boundaries, how not to get harmed, how the world is structured, basic safety skills, etc. By playing. As long as their needs are being met, play time is ALL the time. My 5 year old niece can hold an entire conversation standing on her head with her feet straddled in the air wiggling her booty side to side. Granted, in 12 years she can't do this when she walks up to receive her HS diploma but that's why she's learning. I don't care if she wants to do it in CVS. Her mother (my sister) used to do the same thing in church at that age and she's now a functional adult. Let them play.

I'm autistic. Often would just ask for clarification and an explanation since "because" is not a reason. I got told I was argumentative and disobedient. Got yelled at a lot. Please, kids do not understand. It can help your child so much. I often got snapped at for having meltdowns because I felt forgotten or overwhelmed. If you aren't willing to validate your kids' emotions and help them through them, you are not a good parent. Emotional care is so important.

Finally. Facts that raise awareness of our perspective

I guess our cultures are entirely different 😑

Kids do not necessarily have tantrums. If the kid is not frustrated and understands the culture they will go along with it. I raised two children who never had a tantrum and I never had an angry spiteful or disrespectful child when we were out in public. That was saved for the teenage years privately.

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I guess we just let them do what they want and they'll grow up perfect and not be idiots.

Everyone is going through something. Before you react to kids, stop, take a step back and think about where your reaction is coming from.

Yep let them learn that how they know how to do things growing up you don't let them learn you do it for them. They are gonna grow up not knowing what to do

THIS!!!! I really dislike hearing a parent HOLD THAT CR@P over their child (clothing, feeding, shelter etc) it is really a disgusting thing. As a PARENT, this is what you are supposed to do!! -- It is really sad that our (US) Gov't has to MAKE some parents go to Parenting Classes or tell them kids can not live in filth. Or that they have to feed AND bath them.

It's taken my mom decades to figure out that I'm not her shadow puppet.

This is my mom to a T.

I informed my son, we are not friends...yet we can be friendly with one another. He is now almost 22, and we ARE friends now. I have done my parenting of him (still being a parent but not that 0-18 parent) He is AWESOME

Take chances. Get messy. Make mistakes.

We try to tell our kiddos to be better tomorrow than they are today. Not just with behavior and attitude, but with everything...just be a better human. There will always be mistakes, and arguments, we as the adult, need to be sure to handle those things well so our children will learn how to handle them well.

My kid first word was "Sh*t" as well (at 1 yo). We were in the grocery store. It was a busy time as well...😆😁

Pay attention to patterns and figure out why your child is struggling. It could be it's not because they're being lazy.

This is actually very smart why does it have no comments (edit: now it has comments, just not when I posted :D)

This is a fine line. Kids will lie usually for a reason. Other times it's not so much a lie but a made up story they're telling. It's important to teach kids to tell the truth while respecting other people's privacy.

LOL When I didn't know what to make for dinner, I just made something simple. Eating is important but not every dinner has to be this 3-4 dish, fancy buffet.

I'm a new mother and I am constantly worried how to decide if they will only scrap their knee or if they will die. Am I alone with this?

Lucky

Remember, they're closer to animalhood than you are. They do things to get the best results. Would you start screaming at your puppy for peeing in the house if they aren't fully potty trained? No, you show them where they wet, tell them.no, and put them in time out. Same with kids. Kids need to understand that actions have consequences, and sometimes what feels good in the now can be very detrimental in the later.

Parents make it so much more difficult than it has to be. You're teen isn't going to be going to interviews at conservative, professional companies so let them dye their hair, cut how they want, dress how they want. Let them express themselves, figure out who they and who they want to be. It's all part of the growing up process.

For yrs my family had me convinced I was a bad mother. Then a few months ago my niece told me that all the cousins were jealous of my daughter as she was the only one who's parents truly loved and respected her and always put her 1st. That was the 1st time I truly thought I might b doing this right

Toxic positivity is everywhere. You DO NOT need to love your child at first sight. You DO NOT need to feel happy about cleaning up any sort of mess they make. And you ARE NOT a bad mom for having bad days. Just, for the love of christ, remember to apologize.

I would add "we shouldn't follow every step". They need to learn resilience, and solving all their problems is not the way they learn it.

But not to the point of rigidity.

Separate out inherent personhood from their specific behaviors. I think it's a good idea when your objecting to what they are doing to say, I love you but I don't love this behavior. This is what I expect differently.

Each step of parenting/loving/teaching my kid, I KNOW that I made mistakes. I did apologize to him for things I said or did. After I disciplined him, I ALWAYS told him I LOVE YOU. I made sure his mental/emotional state of self was good by asking him direct questions. I spent time with him. I am honest with him on every level. I am not perfect yet I made sure not to f*ck his life up ...😅

Amd what does the picture have to do with this😂🤣😂🤣

That is my dream room! My fave animal is the Platypus! And that is in this room

That's part of mortality, just about everything you do has the power to go wrong. Try to learn from mistakes as you go.