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Most of us say "yes" when asked if we want to hear the truth. And it seems like a good idea at first that will ultimately help us improve and become our best. But there’s something about having it shoved in our face that is so unbearably revolting, only the most courageous dare to swallow it.

Thanks to the redditor who posted the question “What is an absolute truth that no one wants to hear?” on r/AskReddit and received 11.8k comments, we now know what people hold as some of the most difficult truths. So hold on tight, ‘cause it ain’t gonna be an easy ride, and you won’t surely have a place to hide.

You have an option to either endure them and survive the post, becoming a better self, or to ignore them and move on. Whatever you choose, I feel you. No one was born ready to come to terms with things like “Just because someone is related to you doesn't mean they are a good person” and “It is possible to make no mistakes and still lose.” And I mean it.

#1

Just because someone is related to you doesn't mean they are a good person.

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nanashi
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hate when they say "they can't be a bad person, they're [insert any religious person]'s child!". similar to you don't inherit Evil, you don't inherit Good either.

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#2

Don't believe everything you think.

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#3

“It is possible to make no mistakes and still lose. That is not failure that is life.”

-Captain Jean Luc Picard

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Hans
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And not accepting this is very depressing. Accepting this is very hard, though.

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Getting people to see what’s right in front of their face is not easy. This is largely due to the fact that we, as humans, hate hearing the truth. It’s especially true when we are dealing with truths that involve something we need to improve or work on.

To find out more about why so many of us don’t feel comfortable around hard-to-swallow truths, Bored Panda reached out to Susan Petang, a certified life coach who runs The Quiet Zone Coaching. Susan is helping those who struggle with stress find relief, manage their fears, and build self-confidence so they can wake up happy in the morning.

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Susan said that if the truth is something we don’t agree with, it will be uncomfortable to hear it because it all has to do with our core beliefs and values, and the way we view the world. “When what we believe to be true about ourselves, situations, other people, or the world, in general, is at odds with what we observe, the result is cognitive dissonance—when our beliefs and our observations are at odds. This can cause considerable stress,” she explained.

#4

Life is easier for attractive people.

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troufaki13
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As unjust as it is, it is also very true. Good looking people have to try a little less harder than the rest of us. Also, remember Jeremy Meeks? He became a model even though he served time in prison (assault and robbery I think)

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#5

Vaccines don’t cause autism.

They help stop the spread of the disease. They are not a cure, the just allow you to have a lower chance to catch the virus, which helps lower the chances of the virus spreading.

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#6

There is no inherent justice in this world.

Bad things will happen to good people, and good things will happen to bad people.

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David K
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Unfortunately true. Sometimes even dictators and murderers die peacefully.

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However, one has to be aware that perception can be an issue here too. “So, what I have experienced as 'truth' may not be what you have experienced as 'truth.' For example, one could say that the truth is that water boils at 212 degrees. Or does it? If you use the metric system, water boils at 100 degrees.”

Susan said that even though these two are the same, the perception, the semantics come across differently, and “what one individual might experience as truth wouldn't be truth to someone else.”

Susan warns that when you’re telling people something they don’t want to hear, it’s going to sound like a criticism. She suggests keeping that in mind and not being surprised if you get perceived as the one launching an attack.“

#7

If you didn't vote but could have done so, you have no right to complain about our elected officials.

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WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

True. Tired of hearing "My vote doesn't matter." Every vote matters because it contributes to the grand number that influences the elections. If 90% of the people refuse to vote, they are leaving the remaining 10% the powers to decide over their lives. That's how polls work. They just ask a small number of people "representing the people" and present the result as the peoples opinion. Remember how that blew up in so many faces in 2016? "Yeah, we're going to win so I don't have to vote..."

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#8

No-one wants to hear your [crappy] music in public, especially in class.

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#9

Having an opinion doesn't make you right.

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Amy Pattie
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I mean, the bubonic plague never went away, we just have treatment for it now.

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That being said, the first step is to remember kindness and the Golden Rule. How would you want to be told that something you believe isn't true?” Susan suggests thinking about your tone in communication, which should be kind, respectful, and encouraging.

Moreover, you may use reflective listening. “For example, you could say, 'It sounds like you see grass as pink,' or 'I'm hearing that you think crocodiles make great pets.' You can also add, 'Tell me how you came to that conclusion,' or 'I'm curious as to how you formed that opinion.'"

Susan encourages using expressions like "It sounds like..." "I'm hearing that..." "You seem to feel..." "I'm noticing that..."It’s also important to phrase the truth in a way that doesn’t undermine others.

And also, it's important to agree to disagree, since “even after you have (calmly!) stated the truth, someone else still might not accept it,” she concluded.

#10

2021 will not magically be better than 2020.

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#11

Just because you’ve done something wrong in the past, doesn’t mean you can’t advocate against it.

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Niko Alarcon
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is what some people need to hear. I 100% agree with this statement, some of us dont know the harm we've done until later, but it doesnt mean its too late to prevent others from making the same mistake.

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#12

As long as we fail to protect and provide for all children in our society, we will continue to suffer the crimes of the damaged adults we produce. We have no right to expect any different, and we deserve everything that we get.

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RaroaRaroa
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Anyone who complains about people receiving benefits from the government needs to consider this. If we don't help them, their children have NO chance of doing better. We'd end up with people living in gated communities, hiding from the other part of society, afraid to go out. Parts of the world all ready live like that. I hope we never do.

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Mark Murphy, the author of "Truth At Work: The Science Of Delivering Tough Messages," suggests that cognitive dissonance is to blame. It occurs when someone holds two psychologically inconsistent beliefs (or attitudes or opinions) that create unpleasant mental tension.

Murphy explains: “If you've ever been in a conversation with someone who just couldn't, or wouldn't, hear the truth, no matter how many ways you tried to explain it, or who reacted so badly to the truth that you regretted saying anything at all, you've likely witnessed someone who was experiencing cognitive dissonance.”

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This is because such a reaction is a way of lessening psychological tension and reducing anxiety when people face something that contradicts their existing beliefs, attitudes, and opinions.

In reality, no human brain would ever enjoy receiving information that doesn’t help ourselves in the sense that it makes our lives more difficult or threatens our self-esteem, status, and public image. And it seems that the saying “truth hurts” wasn’t born out of nowhere.

#13

People don't think about you anywhere near as much as you think they do.

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RaroaRaroa
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ahh, but to the socially anxious, we still cringe over something dumb we said to someone 20 years ago. Something they no doubt forgot within a week.

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#14

You're supposed to care deeply about the things in your own life, and other people not caring about them doesn't make them less important.

This is one of the things Instagram culture has taken away from us -- the idea that you're doing great even if nobody likes the photos of the breakfast you made or knows who you are.

For most of human history, most of our emphasis and energy was spent on our families and immediate communities. Now we're all flailing to "matter" to a bunch of strangers we probably wouldn't like in person and it's wrecking our brains.

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WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Except for the few that have discovered that life without Fakebook, Instagram and Twitter is much more enjoyable.

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#15

No matter how nice you are, people will still just be a**holes to you just cuz.

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WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Some people will. It's not that all the people are a**holes all the time but you do get to meet the inevitable jerk or bitch, no matter how nice you are. It's up to you to decide if they are going to dictate how you interact with people. It still does take more muscles to frown than to smile.

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#16

Just because someone is related to you, doesn't mean you have to like or tolerate them. Sometimes for people, friends are your true family because they accept you for who you are. They choose to stick around with you. Not because they have to.

I don't speak to my abusive father and never will again, nor his side of the family. I'm estranged from one of my sisters already and I don't like most of my extended family. I do not appreciate their morals.

You won't lose much at all by cutting some family ties (circumstances depend though, ofc). You'll be much happier in the long run once you establish your life, who you are and what you need/want for your future.

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postboredom
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes, this. It is YOUR life, you can choose to cut the bad people, no matter who they are and how you know them

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#17

Life isn’t fair and you aren’t owed a damn thing.

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#18

Civil debate is a must. You gotta stay respectful, open-minded, and civil, even if you loathe the views of the other side with a passion.

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#19

Even though you think your kids are special, they are most likely just average.

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Amy Pattie
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But everyone’s kids are special to them, and that is why love is so important.

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#20

You can’t make everyone happy.

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#21

After a generation or two after your death, no one alive will have any memories of you. Your life, everything you did, and all of your struggles and achievements will all be forgotten. You’ll just be another one of the billions of forgotten souls whose names, faces, and life stories have all been lost to time.

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#22

You need to have your views challenged.

Being around and positively engaging with people who disagree with you is one of the healthiest intellectual practices we can do.

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WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
4 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We've come to a point that "positively engaging with people who disagree with you" has become impossible. Everything has become an "Either you're with me or you're against me"- issue. You can't criticize politicians or you're a leftist fool or a rightwing idiot. And the same goes for feminism, sexism, racism etc. etc. So we all persist in our views making any dialogue impossible.

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#23

You can't control what happens to you, only how you react to it.

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brandon sat
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

partial disagree here, i would say that you cant control EVERYTHING that happens to you

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#24

Just because you helped someone doesn't mean they are going to help you. People are ungrateful more often than not.

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Pawlise Glemtepassord
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hard truth. My BF is a volunteer firefighter, and do people ever thank him for getting up at random times in the night and sprinting to station just to break open that door for the medics or pump out floodwater or hauling some dumbass out of a smoked-up apartment? Usually, no. Sometimes the people he just rescued even choose to be mean. He gets pretty broken up about it sometimes, I make sure to thank him but it would be a whole different thing if the actual people in question would just say thanks sometimes. If a fire station ever helped you out, it's not too late to send a letter and simply say thank you. A lot of them are volunteers in many countries.

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#25

You cannot go through life without experiencing some type of pain/discomfort. Physical and emotional. It is necessary for growth.

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#26

Things are going to keep getting worse on our planet and we are in for some serious human tragedy.

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Hans
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is not universally true. In fact, many things are improving, at least when looked in decaded. Scientific progress. The fight of hunger (despite negative effects through corona). Medicine. People believing it ought to be worse anyway are a major contributor to it becoming worth, because, why should they care if they are doomed anyway?

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#27

We don't know everything and probably never will.

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David K
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That is not a hard to swallow fact (referring the title of this article). Don´t think that anyone aspires to know everything anyways :-)

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#28

So many of these are negative... So how about the truth that one of the best ways to be happy in life is by helping other people. People don't want to do it, because helping other people feels like you're losing out, but it's true.

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RaroaRaroa
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How does it feel like you're losing out? It always gives me a happy feeling.

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#30

Everyone's a hypocrite. Even you.

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Kim
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not true. Hard pill to swallow: Some people are actually genuine and true.

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#31

Love alone is not enough to make a relationship work.

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Amy Pattie
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If they’re referring to the feeling of love, no. Feelings come and go with the weather. However, mutually choosing to act in love is enough. However you should make sure you’re compatible in values and life goals before you make a commitment!

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#32

People will criticize you even when you do perfect.

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#33

Your kid has no idea it's their birthday for the first few years. Stop making a huge deal about it. It's obviously about you and not them.

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RaroaRaroa
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Is it wrong to celebrate the milestone because you're happy they made it there? Many babies don't, so why not celebrate?

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#34

Money can indeed buy you happiness. People that believe that it can't, have never had to worry about money.

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Katherine Boag
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Once you have enough money to be financially secure, money can't buy you happiness. But if you are not financially secure, ANY extra money will make you HEAPS happier.

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#35

Some people are just evil. There’s not always a reason behind it.

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RaroaRaroa
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No. I don't believe anyone is born evil, so something makes them that way. Whether it's childhood trauma, abuse, substance abuse, untreated mental illness, head trauma - there will be something behind it.

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#36

Just because you've been doing something longer than other people doesn't mean you're better at it (driving, job role, sports etc).

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#37

The vast majority of people don't care about you. Family and close friends will but everyone else is far more concerned with themselves and their family and friends. They don't really hate you and they don't really like you, they just don't really care. Some people may love or hate the idea of you but it's not personal.

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Emilingo
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

hey, If I'm being honest, I hate the idea of anyone dying. I don't love humanity, but I do care for them, and I think most people do to that extent. Few people in life should truly hate you.

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#38

Hard work may increase your odds of success. But it doesn't guarantee you [anything]. There will always be thousands of people out there who worked way less harder than you but achieved way more.

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WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Another American opinion. There are lots of people who think they are successful if they have a steady nine to five job, their own house and car, 52 long weekends to spend with their family, 4 weeks paid vacation and no debts.

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#39

Corona may never go away and be in our lives forever in some capacity.

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#40

A lack of critical thinking and greed are responsible for most of the world's man-made problems. We can't eradicate greed. So, if the world's going to get better it needs to think better.

Until critical thinking becomes a skill as basic and necessary as arithmetic, we'll continue doing stupid things.

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#41

No one is at the wheel. There is no one leading the planet, just powerful people, companies, and countries all struggling together against everyone else for power, money, and control.

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WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So you're telling me there's no Deep State or Illuminati or Circle of 13 that controls the world? Sure, buddy. Just search the internet, there's so much evidence. Like how Christmas is always on the exact same date.. /Sarcasm=off

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#42

Whoever is reading this doesn’t have anything better to do at the moment.

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#43

Animal agriculture does more harm to the environment than all of the cars, planes, boats, etc in the world combined.

It's destroying our oceans, our air, our land, and our bodies.

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RaroaRaroa
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But if we produced enough vegetarian food to feed the world, how much land and pollution might that take? I live in NZ. Our land is largely hilly. You can farm sheep and cows on it. You can't grow crops effectively on hills.

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#44

We need to stop eating so much meat if we want to mitigate climate change. The earth cannot keep up with our demands for meat and eating it for every meal is not healthy for us either.

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#45

No matter what you do you polluted the planet.

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WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes. And what's your point? Everyone pollutes the planet but stop making it sound like pollution isn't the fault of the companies. Who sells banana's wrapped in plastic? Who sells a tiny bottle of perfume in enough plastic to cover 50 acres of forest? Who is cutting down the rainforest for their projects? Who is still drilling for oil in nature reserves while we need to transition to electric transportation?

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#46

Some people will never find a long term partner and that's okay...

... because even if you live your life surrounded by people and love, you will die alone. Being married or with a LT partner, having children, having lots of relatives... All in all, it's no guarantee / insurance against ending up alone.

People fall out of love for no reason and sometimes there's nothing you can / should do about it.

Not everyone wants children, even the ones who will have them anyway.

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BusLady
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was married 23 years, then 5years. Single nowf or 14 years. And I'm okay with that. I am enough. :-)

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#47

No one really gives a [crap] what your eyebrows look like.

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Daria B
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Unless you're a teenager, when the loudest ones give too much crap about the aesthetics of each other, and in detail too.

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#48

Just because you love someone it doesn't mean they will love you back. No matter how hard you try to get them to, they just won't.

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#49

If you feel like you continuously have to fight for their attention, they probably aren't worth fighting for. If they only talk to you when you text them first, they have no interest in knowing you.

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Amy Pattie
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This isn’t necessarily true. For example, a close friend of mine is a doctor. If I text her and she doesn’t text back for three weeks, it’s probably a bad month for the ICU ward. Now, if she texted back one word answers with no input...

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#50

You can be incredibly talented, intelligent, beautiful and work your [arse] off and still go nowhere above an average paycheck. It is better to find happiness in life itself than bet on the rare occurrence of sublime success.

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BusLady
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hate those Youtube ads: "I used to be a loser like you. Now I'm a millionaire before I'm 30. And I can make you rich... Send me money."

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#51

Your spouse/child/home/job/vacation, etc. is not nearly as important to anyone else as it is to you.

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#52

That there are people who won’t like you or agree with you and you won’t be able to change their mind so you just have to deal with it.

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#53

Your dog will probably die before you.

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#54

Just because you’ve been with someone since high school doesn’t mean they’re right for you. Don’t base your future on childish dreams.

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Scyth
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, being with someone since high school means that you both passed one of the most challenging parts of growing up together and hence the bonds are stronger.

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#55

We're all just star dust.

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Danieletc
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think that is one of the most beautiful facts of our existence.

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#56

Some people are hypocrites & preach that they are anti racism and pro feminism, but are really just fake woke activists.

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Vorknkx
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And the really sad part - these fake activists ruin it for the genuine ones.

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#57

The only person responsible for -you- is -you-.

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Linus Nilsson
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No. This is a very conservative American thing to think. A society is built on cooperation, by taking care of each other, helping out when needed.

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#58

No matter how much you try to forgive your partner for cheating, there will always be remains of the pain it brought.

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Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That is why I could never stay with someone who cheated, the trust is gone and I would constantly be worrying. Not a way to continue with a relationship.

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#59

Stop buying so many bananas, you're never going to make banana nut bread! Put them back!

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#60

You have to stop making excuses at one point in your life and get up and grow up. It sucks but you HAVE to, in order to be a decent human being. No one will do things for you.

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#61

In most situations, most people will make the choice that benefits them even at the expense of others.

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#62

When you die, it could very well be nothing. Just blackness, like before you were born.

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Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
4 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I believe that when we die it’s like being in a deep sleep without dreams, so I guess it is just like before we were even born.

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#63

There's going to be a day where you are totally forgotten by everyone.

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#64

You are always replaceable.

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Kim
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is definitely not true. A mother isn’t replaceable. A grandparent isn’t replaceable. Your child isn’t replaceable. A loving love partner isn’t replaceable. A best friend isn’t replaceable. The one who had the idea and drove a company to the top isn’t replaceable. There are people that who’s choose nobody in the world could ever fill.

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#65

The eradication of the most devastating diseases that we fight today (i.e. cancer) will have potentially devastating unintended consequences. Humans weren't meant to live forever, and a "cure for cancer" will have interesting effects in the economy and society as a whole with a world already overcrowded with people.

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Amy Pattie
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Actually, research shows that people with better living conditions and longer life expectancy generally have fewer, healthier children.

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#66

That if we don't start treating our planet better, we'll be gone in 50 years. Done.

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#67

Hard work matters.

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Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
4 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This should say Hard work matters but it doesn’t mean you will be wealthy, appreciated or irreplaceable etc.

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#68

It's our fault the world is not the way it's supposed to be.

We didn't start it, it's just the people that came before us didn't fix it, and now it's our responsibility.

Expecting politicians, athletes, and celebrities to influence positive change is [useless] when so many of us don't take extra steps to contribute positively in the world.

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Terd Fergison
Community Member
4 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't quite see how this is true. It may be partially true and very true that we all need to do more to fix things. But, if someone hands you a pile of s**t, it is that person's fault. We were born into a world of nuclear weapons and countries that hate each other. By the logic of this post, we're just supposed to easily fix these huge problems?

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#69

Anything about someone's dream.

The MLM will never make you money, Britney.

Although your parents say so, you cannot sing, Amy.

You are not the smartest person in the world, Brandon.

(Names random)

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WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And that's why MLMs, songcontests and "Get your PHD here" websites exist.

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#70

Having a culture that is so focused on getting high or drunk squanders much of the time in our youth that we need to develop into thoughtful, pragmatic, and mature adults.

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#71

All children are innocent, but they’re not all good. Some people will grow up to be [friggin] [arseholes] regardless of what they’re exposed to.

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BusLady
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The school yard bully grows up to be the boss from hell. Or ends up in prison, whatever.

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#72

Costco has tubs of 7lb Nacho cheese for sale at $6.50 a piece. 7lbs of Nacho Cheese works out to about 2,800cm3 . A typical bathtub has a volume of 160,000cm3 . Here are your volumes based on weights (approximately) and how many bottles you would need to fill up the tub:

120lbs = 50,000cm3 means you need 40 tubs for 255 dollars

150lbs = 70,000cm3 means you need 32 tubs for 208 dollars

200lbs = 90,000cm3 means you need 25 tubs for 162.5 dollars

250lbs = 110,000cm3 means you need 18 tubs for 116 dollars

See the trend? The fatter you get, the more cost effective it becomes to bathe in cheese.

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Amy Pattie
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This was a very random piece of information I didn’t know I needed

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