It's that time of the year again when skeletons come out of the closets, pumpkin sales go booming, and taking candy from strangers becomes socially acceptable. Whether you are attending a Halloween shindig, DIYing your kid a costume, or taking advantage of candy sales, there's no better time to indulge in some Halloween jokes and ghostly humor than now.
When the days get shorter and evenings get darker, it's a grave idea to lighten the mood with some funny Halloween jokes! And if you are not a particular fan of horror films or ghost movies, don't worry! There's no need to be a phobophile to enjoy some skeleton jokes, as they are not scary or creepy. But surely hell-a punny and deadly contagious!
So while we Pandas bring ourselves some bam-boo, get yourself a bag of candy corn and delight yourself in some corny humor with our collection of Halloween jokes. Found a Halloween joke you will send your ghoul friend? Let us know! And once you're done reading through these ghost jokes, check out our recent posts featuring even more scary jokes and morbid humor!
What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?
It’s a pain in the neck.
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Why do skeletons have low self-esteem?
They have no body to love.
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How do mummies tell their future?
They read their horror-scope.
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What does a panda ghost eat?
Bam-BOO!
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How do you know you've been ghosted?
The poltergeist doesn't text you back.
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How do ghosts send letters?
Through the ghost office.
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Why don’t mummies take time off?
They’re afraid to unwind.
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What kind of music do mummies like listening to on Halloween?
Wrap music.
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What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
Frostbite.
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Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
No body.
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What do you call zombies in pajamas?
The sleepwalking dead.
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What brand of shampoo do zombies use?
Head and Shoulders.
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What do you call a movie about zombies finding true love?
A zom-com.
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How do you get rid of demons?
Exorcise a lot.
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Who's the scariest body builder of all time?
Dr. Frankenstein.
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What did one ghost say to the other?
"Get a life!"
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What did the fisherman say on Halloween?
"Trick or trout."
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Why are graveyards so noisy?
Because of all the coffin.
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The skeleton canceled the gallery showing of his skull-pictures because his heart wasn't in it.
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Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
Because demons are a ghoul's best friend!
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What room does a ghost not need in a house?
A living room.
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Why couldn’t the mummy go to school with the witch?
He couldn’t spell.
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What do you call two witches who live together?
Broom-mates!
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What kind of medicine do witches use on their warts?
I don't know, but it's not working.
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Where do ghosts go on vacation?
Mali-boo.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?
At the ghost-ery store!
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How do you know when a ghost is sad?
He starts boo hooing.
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Why don’t mummies have friends?
Because they’re too wrapped up in themselves.
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What do you call a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts?
A Pharaoh Roche.
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Why did Dracula take cold medicine?
Because he was coffin too much.
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Know why skeletons are so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
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What do skeletons order at a restaurant?
Spare ribs.
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Why can't skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.
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What kind of art do skeletons like?
Skulltures.
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What happened to the witch who flew her broom while angry?
She flew off the handle.
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What do you call a witch with a rash?
An itchy-witchy.
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Why was the jack-o'-lantern scared?
Because it had no guts.
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What did the pumpkin say to its carver?
"Cut it out!"
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Why don't zombies eat popcorn with their hands?
They eat their hands separately.
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What do vegetarian zombies eat?
Graaaains!
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I would make a skeleton joke, but you wouldn't find it very humerus.
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Why don't I like Dracula?
He's a pain in the neck.
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Why don't werewolves ever know the time?
Because they're not whenwolves.
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Why does a witch ride a broomstick?
So she can make a clean getaway.
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Knock Knock?
Who's there?
Boo!
Boo who?
Don't cry, it's only Halloween.
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What happened to the man who didn't pay his exorcist?
The house was repossessed.
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Why didn't the vampire attack Taylor Swift?
Because she had bad blood.
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What is in a ghost’s nose?
Boo-gers.
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What's a ghost's favorite dessert?
I-Scream!
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What does a ghost mom say when she gets in the car?
"Fasten your sheet-belts."
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