In my friend circle we also do that. An unspoken rule is that you never order more than a certain amount. This lady is clearly a gold digger who only wants to be wine and dined by those with some money! SHAME ON HER!

I agree, but in this case, I am siding with the guy. I would be offended if my "guest" ordered 6 times the cost of my meal. Only bad guests take advantage of the host. When I first started dating, back in the day when the guy was expected to foot the bill for everything (which I thought was unfair), my mother had some wise words for me. "If others are paying for your meal, do not choose either the most expensive or the least expensive item on the menu. You don't want to appear either greedy or cheap. Be considerate: you are spending someone else's hard-earned cash. Choose something in the lower-middle. Do not order expensive extras, like drinks, desserts, appetizers, unless your host insists. Even then, try to keep the cost of your items about the same or less than your host's, and never, ever more expensive." I followed this advice my whole life, whether with friends or while dating. It lets everybody focus on friendships and never starts arguments.

Completely agree. While it's nice if he pays for her dinner, it goes the other way too. He shouldn't always be the one to pay because "that's what a gentleman does"

I was raised when you go out you watch what the man orders and you order the same price as he does. That was low class, obnoxious and rude to order such a high price especially since he’s a student. If she’s not interested in the man and she wants a platonic relationship then you go Dutch and if he picks it up you offered to buy the drinks and the tip. Unless he has money then it doesn’t bother him

I agree, if I invite someone out and particularly if I also choose the place I always offer to pay.

Whoever invites pays is the rule of thumb of us gays.

Yup. If I'm inviting someone out where it might cost a pretty penny I'll say something like "I'll take you out to dinner" or something so it's clear up front. If not, I like to just ignore the bill when it comes and watch her turn into an indoor astronomer. She'll look anywhere but the bill and that's when I know she's not for me.

Yeah, we could tell. It's great to have a policy like that when it's usually the guy doing the asking out.

Ok - are we having an honest discussion here? Women know full well they flirt and hint and almost never take agency or initiative to ask the guy out. So starting off with "Whoever asks the person out" game. Let's start with : First date = both pay for their own meal. Or how about : if he asks, then you pay? No? Then you're asking me to play a rigged game.

Yeah, and the guy should invite the girl. Again, it's a gentleman's rule kind of thing.

Sounds fair nowadays.

It would be. Because either the man approaches, or it'll never happen. So the point is moot. I've heard women say they ask men out... But in practice, a good looking, successful, decent man can and will go his entire life without ever being asked out except by a women who truly has no other options. The exception being the upper 10% of all males. Being generous

Wanted to respond: Women almost never ask a guy out - so let's not play the "who ever asks the other person out game" - unless and until women accept agency and start asking, let's go with this: First date: both pay for their own meal. Don't pretend women don't flirt and hint and don't ask - it's not an honest discussion until we start with that premise.

since when does a women invinte first ?

As he said — he knew she was mad, so he wanted to make it up for it on a second date.

She asked him out.

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She apparently was mute in shock that night. He knew what she was trying to do and didnt pay for her stuff. She didnt say anything that night... He wanted to tick her off LOL

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Why not? Probably she didn't complain and he thought he found a progressive woman who does not depend on a man to pay her dinner...

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Because he is being nice????

A lot of men pull the "you must be a dyke" c**p if a woman doesn't want to have sex with them.

My husband had gay rumours for years. I thought it was because he spoke with his hands. I had no idea it was because he was a tad tight with money. Damn, I learn something new every day!

He explains why he invited her out again. Re-read the piece, right after the back and forth posts.

No, he wants a normal relationship. she is terrible for using him. He’d be happy to pay for her if it actually involved normal romance and sex. She was trying to FAKE like she wanted that with him, in order to get him to pay for free food. She is wrong bcuz A) she violated social norms and B) she abused and exploited the normal date format in order to predatorily try and steal his money

True, I saw too many Supernanny episodes on YouTube

I wouldn't particularly consider 17.50 euro to be particularly expensive. Not 'cheap', no, but unless you want to take a date to macdonalds or something, (which could be interesting. mwhahaha. April first is coming.) She probably ordered the most expensive stuff on the menu (46 euros on the lobster, 80 on the wine?).

Your son's GF reminds me of myself. I've had loved ones insist on buying me something, and my mind immediately goes, "Where's the least expensive place we can go?" If they insist on buying it at an expensive store, I will make a beeline for the clearance rack. I usually tell them, "Save your money and let's go to the thrift store." There are amazing items at Goodwill. I do most of my clothes shopping there.

Bonus: Walmart's been getting in some really beautiful clothing lately; why spend $75 for a regular department store dress when you can get a really gorgeous one for less than half that at Walmart? I'm totally with your son's gf.

But you make it sound like he needed an excuse to go dutch. Even if he had plenty of money, she was the one who asked to go out on the date and she shouldn't have assumed that he was going to pay just because of his gender.

I don't see where he implied that.