Just because someone’s a member of your family doesn’t mean that they’re always right or that you have to support them 100% of the time. It’s important to call them out when they’re in the wrong and treat you poorly. Because love—real love—means enforcing healthy boundaries even when things get incredibly uncomfortable, not rolling over when they yell at you.

Redditor u/legatoovercook turned to the r/entitledparents online community for a spot of advice after revealing that he’s now an unwelcome guest in his own brother’s home. Things came to a head at the OP’s niece’s 5th birthday party when she unwrapped his gift. Instead of giving her an iPad like his sister-in-law hinted at, he got his niece something else. Cue the temper tantrum from both the kid and her mom. Read on for the full story. Bored Panda got in touch with u/legatoovercook via Reddit, and we’ll update the article as soon as we hear back from him.

Kids sometimes get upset when they expect one gift and get another. But you would think their parents might act more maturely

Image credits: Ivan Samkov (not the actual photo)

A guy turned to the internet for advice after a very uncomfortable situation at his niece’s fifth birthday party

Image credits: growgokids

Image credits: legatoovercook

Image credits: Timur Weber (not the actual photo)

The family’s reaction to the uncle’s birthday gift was wrong on a lot of levels

There are several main issues at play here. First of all, it’s unseemly to treat a guest (least of all a beloved family member) like they did something outrageously wrong just because they bought a different gift than was expected. You simply don’t yell at your relatives, either in private or in public.

Yes, things might get heated and nobody’s perfect, but everyone should strive to treat others like they themselves would like to be treated. It’s the foundation of politeness, kindness, and empathy. The situation shows that either the woman doesn’t respect her brother-in-law or there are far bigger issues at work here, and she’s dealing with those personal frustrations by lashing out at others. There’s also the chance that she’s simply incredibly entitled and can’t fathom anyone not listening to her demands… but it’s hard to make judgments from afar.

Secondly, the child’s mom shouldn’t have told her that her uncle would supposedly be getting her an iPad. When you raise someone’s expectations—especially when that ‘someone’ is a child who has a lot of emotional and mental growth to do—only to dash them, you might get frontline seats to a terrifying temper tantrum.

Image credits: Timur Weber (not the actual photo)

iPads are very expensive and it’s not the sort of present that you demand from your guests

And thirdly, the mom should never have dumped the demand for such an expensive gift on her brother-in-law. We’re not talking about a random toy here: iPads are gosh darn costly. Depending on the model, it can set you back quite a bit.

According to Apple, an iPad Pro currently costs anywhere from $799. An iPad Air is $599, a 10th generation iPad costs $449 while a 9th gen device will set you back $329. Meanwhile, an iPad Mini costs $499. Not everyone has that kind of money just sitting in their bank account, to be burned on someone’s birthday gift.

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You simply can’t ask your guests to buy such expensive gifts and then get mad at them when they opt for a mud garden for kids. And if we’re honest, the mud garden sounds like a far healthier option than giving a kid a(nother) screen to stare at. If you’re bombarding your child with unlimited screen time from an early age, you may end up making them addicted to technology, the internet, video games, TV shows, and social media from a very early age, while their minds are still developing.

MedlinePlus stresses the fact that sitting in front of a screen is a sedentary activity which means that your child is inactive. This can lead to a lot of problems down the line, including weight gain, attention problems, poor sleep at night, anxiety, and even depression. Now, that’s not to say that kids should live completely without technology, but it’s vital that parents enforce healthy boundaries here.

Image credits: Robo Wunderkind (not the actual photo)

It’s up to the parents to set a good example for their children to follow

Some of the things that parents can do here include setting a good example. Children emulate what others around them do. So if you’re always on your phone and on the computer, they’re going to do the same. Reduce the amount of time that you spend in front of screens to show a good example.

Something else to keep in mind is to prohibit eating meals and snacks in front of any screen. That way, your kids will have a healthier relationship with food. In the meantime, find alternatives to phones, iPads, consoles, and computers, like having a board game night, going to the playground, heading out for a walk in the park, etc. If you feel that things are really getting out of hand, set hard limits on screen time. You can also set up a challenge for the entire family where nobody will use any screens for a week.

As we’ve mentioned on Bored Panda before, parents have a huge responsibility to ensure that their children don’t grow up to be spoiled and entitled. While it’s perfectly fine to want to be in the spotlight on your birthday, it doesn’t give you the freedom to treat others poorly. Do that enough times and you might soon find that you’re running out of friends who are willing to tolerate you (and your parents).

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A wonderful idea that parents can consider embracing is putting in the effort to create healthy and empathetic birthday traditions. For instance, after a celebratory breakfast and getting to pick out a gift or two, the family could then do some volunteer work or donate some old toys to kids in need. That way, you’re teaching your child about the importance of generosity and kindness even on their special day. It helps them understand that the world doesn’t stop turning for them.

Image credits: fauxels (not the actual photo)

Here’s what the internet had to say about the drama at the birthday

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