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“He Said I Sounded Like A Gold Digger”: Boyfriend Annoyed When His Partner Refused To Split His Mortgage Without Getting Any Ownership Benefits
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“He Said I Sounded Like A Gold Digger”: Boyfriend Annoyed When His Partner Refused To Split His Mortgage Without Getting Any Ownership Benefits

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It’s not a secret that being in a committed relationship is hard work. More often than not, you get together with a person that has a different mindset from you, and it’s inevitable to encounter a few issues along the way. Sometimes it’s something pretty innocent that could be resolved by simply talking things out, yet you’re also not protected from discovering something bewildering about your partner.

When you decide to take the relationship further and, maybe, move in with your significant other, a few complications will probably come up. For example, this user shared her story regarding the rent that she’d be paying her boyfriend if she had agreed to move in with him:

The woman took it to one of Reddit’s well-known communities to find out whether she might’ve overreacted when her significant other offered to let her move in as long as she’d be splitting the mortgage for a house that she doesn’t really own. The post received over 4K upvotes and many comments where fellow online users discussed this rather intriguing situation.

More info: Reddit

Moving in together is equally stressful and exciting

Image credits: jongorey (not the actual photo)

Moving in together with your partner is, of course, very exciting. It’s a sign that your relationship is getting stronger, you’re thrilled to finally have all the time in the world together, and overall it’s just a very heartwarming experience. Yet, this particular story wasn’t that smooth as the author ended up with some serious second thoughts.

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Woman asks folks if she might’ve overreacted when her BF asked to split his mortgage for a house that he solely owns

Image credits: housewiestion

All of us, at some point, will start to consider getting ourselves a house or maybe you’re already a proud owner of one – well, the author began her story by introducing herself; she’s a 27-year-old woman who believes that she’s finally at this stage of life where she would love to own a house.

Image credits: housewiestion

The woman has a stable and well-paying job in tech and has been recently shopping for a beginner home. However, the OP has a 32-year-old boyfriend who already owns a house and they’ve previously talked about the possibility of moving in together. The woman revealed that she’d love to take their relationship to the next level and build a home together, but it’s also important for her to have some home equity, whether that’d mean owning a place with her partner or getting her own.

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Image credits: housewiestion

But the OP’s significant other is already the sole owner of a house where he pays $1300 for mortgage and taxes, and $430 for the utilities. If the woman had seriously considered moving in with him, he’d have expected her to split the mortgage and the other bills – however, he’d still be the only owner of the place. So the woman explained that she either wants to be living somewhere where she gains home equity or she would’ve liked to get a lease agreement that is as good as her current one, which will allow her to save up for a future down payment.

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Image credits: housewiestion

If the author had decided to move in with her partner, she’d have expected him to offer her a lease and to have all the rights and the responsibilities of a lessor laid out, essentially making it a legitimate deal. For instance, she mentioned that she wants maintenance responsibilities to be completely on the landlord, she’d want a written agreement with rent details and she’d want to compare that to her current living situation. The OP then goes on to explain that her current place is $680 a month with everything included, so moving in to a place where the building is in worse repair and paying nearly $200 more is a much harder choice.

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Image credits: housewiestion

The author revealed that she wouldn’t want to raise her rent to live in worse conditions, so the only smart thing to do would be to compare the current rental market price. She estimated that the price for a room in her partner’s house would be about $500 maximum. Once the OP talked it out with her boyfriend, she mentioned that he got quite upset, saying that he wanted to take a serious step in their relationship, but she treated this whole thing like business. The woman then argued and said that she’s simply trying to make good financial choices just like her partner is doing.

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Image credits: housewiestion

The author explained to her boyfriend that she doesn’t think that it’s a good choice to pay half of his mortgage if he’s the only one who’s gaining equity – unless he would agree to come up with a proper rent agreement like she mentioned before. The boyfriend then got very frustrated and even called the OP a gold digger for simply wanting to do what’s best for her.

Image credits: housewiestion

Eventually the OP revealed that she doesn’t really know what she’s going to do, but she is starting to consider extending her current lease. Of course, she realizes that her partner is fairly upset that she took this specific approach to the moving in situation, but in the end, she was just looking out for her financial future. What do you think about this situation? Do you think that the author might’ve overreacted?

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Fellow Redditors fully supported the OP’s actions

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Darja Zinina

Darja Zinina

Author, Community member

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Darja is a Content Creator at Bored Panda. She studied at the University of Westminster, where she got her Bachelor's degree in Contemporary Media Practice. She loves photography, foreign music and re-watching Forrest Gump.

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Darja Zinina

Darja Zinina

Author, Community member

Darja is a Content Creator at Bored Panda. She studied at the University of Westminster, where she got her Bachelor's degree in Contemporary Media Practice. She loves photography, foreign music and re-watching Forrest Gump.

Saulė Tolstych

Saulė Tolstych

Author, Community member

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Saulė is a photo editor at Bored Panda with bachelor's degree in Multimedia and Computer Design. The thing that relaxes her the best is going into YouTube rabbit hole. In her free time she loves painting, embroidering and taking walks in nature.

Read less »

Saulė Tolstych

Saulė Tolstych

Author, Community member

Saulė is a photo editor at Bored Panda with bachelor's degree in Multimedia and Computer Design. The thing that relaxes her the best is going into YouTube rabbit hole. In her free time she loves painting, embroidering and taking walks in nature.

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JB
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It’s a relief to see someone recognize that financial discussion between partners should not be blinded or coerced by affection. I know the OP is self-identified as a woman but the point stands for everyone in a relationship. No matter how much you love your SO in the moment, be aware that changes happen over months and years. Protecting yourself isn’t a statement that you don’t trust your partner. It’s simple acknowledgment that what is now, may not be in the future.

No you can't have my name
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The difference is that because OP is a woman, she's expected to just go along with it. So when she stands up for herself and puts up boundaries, the grown ass man throws a tantrum.

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K Witmer
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's the funniest when men that don't have much to dig say this all the time. My husbands uncle always says this about women. He doesn't even own anything not even his car his ex girlfriend did. Hes single and he wonders why lol

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Jo Choto
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sounds like she made extremely sensible and reasonable plans for how to make this work. I would not move in with someone who is not open to very reasonable suggestions.

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JB
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It’s a relief to see someone recognize that financial discussion between partners should not be blinded or coerced by affection. I know the OP is self-identified as a woman but the point stands for everyone in a relationship. No matter how much you love your SO in the moment, be aware that changes happen over months and years. Protecting yourself isn’t a statement that you don’t trust your partner. It’s simple acknowledgment that what is now, may not be in the future.

No you can't have my name
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The difference is that because OP is a woman, she's expected to just go along with it. So when she stands up for herself and puts up boundaries, the grown ass man throws a tantrum.

Load More Replies...
K Witmer
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's the funniest when men that don't have much to dig say this all the time. My husbands uncle always says this about women. He doesn't even own anything not even his car his ex girlfriend did. Hes single and he wonders why lol

Load More Replies...
Jo Choto
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sounds like she made extremely sensible and reasonable plans for how to make this work. I would not move in with someone who is not open to very reasonable suggestions.

Load More Comments
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