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The animal kingdom is huge and unless you're my colleague, Justė, who's like a walking encyclopedia (seriously, the woman knows everything, point to a random bug on the ground and she'll tell you all about its ancestors a million years ago), it's impossible to know everything about it. So, to broaden your understanding of the beings we share Earth with, UK TV channel Dave launched an online campaign titled What the bloody hell is a ... ?
During it, the channel shared pictures of various wild animals along with some of their defining characteristics. And yes, the descriptions and the facts about animals aren't completely legit. Well, actually, they're almost pure fiction. But they're so ridiculous, they're kinda genius. Continue scrolling down to the animal trivia and you'll understand what I mean.
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#1
Parmeisan 5 years ago
Which one isn't you? The having wings, or the vomitting on your kids?
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Nevits Yibble 5 years ago
They actually do use their wings. To swim. They definitely don't pay tax though.
Karen Johnston 5 years ago
I don't know, they pimp out their mates to get better nests.
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katboxjanitor 5 years ago
And penguins have hips, but their droopy-drawer body keeps them warm...thus their cool waddle. Just google images of penguin skeletons!
Launched in 1998, Dave uses its social media to create absolute nonsense. Like their animal guides. "It's always good to learn new things about the natural world, even if the fun facts aren't always 100% true," a Dave spokesperson told Bored Panda.
Usually, the channel's social media team comes up with the ideas for such campaigns. "We use our Facebook page, Instagram and Twitter to promote our TV shows, but we also like to make content to make our followers laugh as they are checking their newsfeeds!" the spokesperson said.
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#2
AnnieLaurie Burke 5 years ago
You may want them to p**s off, but usually, when it comes to humans, seagulls p**s (or sh!t) on you.
There isn't really a scheme behind how the channel communicates with their viewers online as they usually simply go with the flow. "We just see how we are feeling that day, to be honest! It could be something in the news or just something that springs to mind, there is no rhyme or reason to it!"
However, if you'd also like to go through some actual animal facts, fire up Bored Panda's earlier articles called 42 Interesting Animal Facts That You Can Throw Out In Casual Conversations, 30 Happy Animal Facts That Will Make You Smile, and 30 Weird Animal Facts They Didn't Teach You In School.
#3
Hans 5 years ago
Suirrel out of a duck? No, a mouse with wings. "Fledermaus" in German, i.e. Fluttermouse.
AnnieLaurie Burke 5 years ago
Bats are very cool, great mosquito-killers, and sadly unappreciated. I was thrilled that our local Western WA bats honored me by raising 3 broods in our erstwhile bat-nursery last summer.
Luisa Vasconcelos 5 years ago
Morcego in portuguese. Amor cego =blind love. Not related. Just a funny coincidence.
Joyce Deering 5 years ago
Responsible for COVID-19? Perhaps they shouldn't be EATEN! China! You hear that? How about you stop eating dogs and cats too. Just in case? I mean Good God! Thanks a heap, China. Thanks a heap.
#4
Tenay Douglas 5 years ago
I like how each one starts like he's about to spit legitimate facts only to then follow it up with "They can accidentally swallow 17 umbrellas a year"
Slune 5 years ago
...and you can ride them. Never will get cold legs, because the wings are like blankets.
Night Owl 5 years ago
I wouldn't want to risk trying to ride one and ending up being kicked and pecked
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#5
Alexandrea Cummins 5 years ago
actually a group of otters is called a cuddle party and i personally think that's great :D
Becca Gizmo the Squirrel 5 years ago
They hold hands so they don't float away from each other while they sleep.
Just Carmen 5 years ago
Otters are VERY smart if they wouldn't vote for Trump. No wonder I LOVE otters!!
AnnieLaurie Burke 5 years ago
Obviously, judging from fact #5, otters are a helluva lot smarter than many humans.
#7
Christopher Hughes 5 years ago
i also can live up to 300 hundred years if i don't die first ;)
LUCY BALDWIN 5 years ago
An owl at a zoo refused to look at my mother any time she walked by. We thought it was quite rude, but we later found out it was blind and turned its head to hear her better.
Jackie Wacky 5 years ago
“...a violent balloon covered in feathers “ - these descriptions are GENIUS!
Calypso poet 5 years ago
Yes! I just wish I could get my picture to not be sideways! They are surprisingly light for their size.
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Umut Börü Özsoy 5 years ago
Flying ants are good damn Queens or males. They fly just once in their life. Male ants die miserably after reproducing but QUEENS starts a god damn colony just alone and stay alive for years . Duh
Winny Aurelia 5 years ago
in a damn country, people take flying ants, pluck off their wings, dip them in chocolate and f*****g eat them alive
#9
*sigh*, The Yellow Teletubby 5 years ago
Ok the theory here is that since the plural of tooth is teeth, and the singular of geese is goose, then the singular of sheep is shoop.
#10
Ashley Galyen 5 years ago (edited)
The scream of a bald eagle on TV is actually dubbed over with scream of a red tailed hawk. NPR
Marnie 5 years ago
I heard one ornothologist say a bald eagle's cry sounds like what a kitten would sound like if it were a bird :-)
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N’Baro Atksteel X377 5 years ago
Funny. This massive bird with an 8 foot wingspan sounds pathetic, but this much smaller bird’s call is what people think of when they think about the sounds eagles make.
N’Baro Atksteel X377 5 years ago
Bald eagles don’t scream, they tweet. Hawks do (Red-tailed Hawks)
#11
John Carr 5 years ago
Technically, the Crown owns all unmarked "mute swans" in open water, and the Queen only exercises her ownership rights on some stretches of the Thames and its tributaries.
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#12
Cristian Hain 5 years ago
I have been collecting teeth for most of my life and now have more teeth than a llama could ever hope for
John Montgomery 5 years ago
Anyone else always think of the albinoblacksheep thing when they hear the word llama? Better question. Does anyone still remember that site?
#13
AnnieLaurie Burke 5 years ago
Spiders, like bats, are cool, beneficial to the environment, and underappreciated by hysterical, irrational animals like H. sapiens.
Marea Lewis 5 years ago
Bats eat nighttime insects and help keep the populations down as they are the natural predators. They're helpful too, you just don't get to see them at their work for two reasons: 1. Because they're black and blend in with the night (in order to better catch their prey and not be eaten themselves by owls and such) and 2. Most normal people are asleep at night.
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Mary Traywick 5 years ago
Have you ever seen pictures of jumping spiders up close? So stinkin' cute <3 I'm actually working on my fear of spiders because most of them are really as harmless as any other bug and don't deserve the hate they get.
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Layla Corman 5 years ago
Even when someone else kills a spider in the room, I refuse to return! ...everyone knows there are more. Just burn everything down.
#14
Jane Alexander 5 years ago
"...we figured and we figured why it was that the white horses ate more than the black horses. and finally we figured that it was because there was more of the white horses. -an old 'two black crows' 78 rpm record.
Foregone Conclusion 5 years ago
I think he means 'Heese can run as fast as a London Midlands train ...'
Shadowpuppy_123 5 years ago
If the plural of horse is heese, then why does it says horses in the rest of the facts?
#15
Calypso poet 5 years ago
They had one at the bird show at the old Sea World in Aurora Ohio. We were in a front row and it was amazing to see that close. Looking back I don’t know how they allowed that in an open pavilion with no real barriers.
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#16
Quinn Adaire 5 years ago
RUN AWAY FROM THE NOPE OF TIGERS! NOPE NOPE NOPE OH NO THERE’S A NOPE CHASING MEEEE!
#17
Ilona 5 years ago
Fun fact: In Dutch, the word for squirrel (eekhoorn) differs only 1 letter from the word for unicorn (eenhoorn). Therefore, squirrels are 95% as magical als unicorns. People have occasionally spotted rainbow farts coming from squirrels.
Saskia van der Sluis 5 years ago
also in Dutch, the word for squirrel (eekhoorn) is pronounced 'acorn'... as in what they famously eat and gather...
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Becca Gizmo the Squirrel 5 years ago
Squirrels will sleep on your shoulders under your long hair if you let them.😊
Calypso poet 5 years ago
Squirrels also like Ho-hos. I was a latch-key kid and when I was 10 I was allowed to have a Ho-ho after school while I waited for my mom to get home from work.I would sit on the front stoop and eat it and feed some to the squirrel. Eventually he would sit on my shoulder while I fed him pieces. It was a busy one way street and people would look shocked when they saw me! Today someone would call the cops.
Anna Przybysz-Campos 5 years ago
Fun fact - in Polish squirrels are called "wiewiorka". Please, don't ask me why.
Jackie Wacky 5 years ago
Why?! It sounds like ‘we’re working’ in English. Maybe it’s because they’re so busy, stashing away their nuts.
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#19
KT Trondsen 5 years ago
Right, blow it up like a balloon to defeat it? I'd like to see someone put their mouth on its to do so
Borgia 137 5 years ago
It depends on what kind of snake. My boa seems to accept her fate that she gets kisses, however, we haven't tried balloon thing.... Ah, an yes, snakes are ticklish 😉
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#20
Christopher Hughes 5 years ago
God save the queens, she's our only hope. I mean, we can't use tea, it'd be against our nature, not proper at all!
Moji Pagoda 5 years ago
They are commonly known as Fart Squirrels. They are extremely cute, although this is coming from the person who thinks spiders are adorable.
Tessa Thompson 5 years ago
Funny, I saw an a**e badger at the London Zoo in 2004. Must've gotten special permission from MI-6 or something.
#21
Willow Holsapple 5 years ago
Breathe like Darth Vader filled with helium is the most true thing ever.
#22
Jaxson Evans 5 years ago
My grandpa used to hunt pheasants! He has one taxidermied Over his shotgun case
#23
stuart thomas 5 years ago (edited)
They also terrify Knights of old, something to do with the massacre of the Knights that say "Ni" if memory serves. RUN AWAY!
#24
Slinkman 5 years ago
And Even a grown man with u huge hat and a dog with a weird little laugh in a racecar can't catch it.
SilverLining 5 years ago
Catch the pigeon catch the pigeon. Aww nostalgic now hehe
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Calypso poet 5 years ago
I got s**t on one outside trump tower on our senior trip in 1990. Need I say more?
Alexandrea Cummins 5 years ago
pigeons can produce milk so I agree, what the bloody hell is a pigeon?!
*sigh*, The Yellow Teletubby 5 years ago
FUN FACT!!!!!!!!!! Pigeons actually produce milk through glands in their neck! And then throw it up in their kid's mouths!
#25
Layla Corman 5 years ago
I moved from NY to Savannah GA and wasn't aware that armadillos just chilled in people's (my) yard at night until I took the trash out and encountered one. I abandoned my trash mid driveway and never took out the trash alone at night again. For those that aren't aware, these suckers are really big!
Fixin'Ta 5 years ago
The official Small State Mammal of Texas!!! Love our armadillos. (But stay away from them, as they can carry leprosy.) They should also be the State Roadkill of Texas since so many get flattened on our highways. :(
Jackie Wacky 5 years ago
They carry leprosy? Wow! In that case, it seems a bit daft for them to be a state animal.
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Randomcthulu 5 years ago
Mississippi speed bump (sorry, I know), they can also carry leprosy and give it to humans (plus they are the stinkiest dead animal I have ever encountered but dogs love them, ugh)
Lorrie Finley 5 years ago
Who's gonna go around hugging armadillos to get Hansen's disease?
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#26
Christopher Hughes 5 years ago
how many times have you tried? any less then 57 and you're bound to fail...
PeachPossum 5 years ago (edited)
And the writers of Monty Python pet store sketches
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#27
Alexis Grunden 5 years ago
Note: Badgers also have montane and savanna-dwelling kindred, the wolverine and the honeybadger, respectively. Wolverines are the only animal in N. Americ insane enough to look at an adult grizzly chewing on a salmon and think "Yeah, he looks like a total b**ch; I bet I could take him. You gonna finish that? I'LL F**KIN' FIGHT YA FOR IT!!" Their hot-weather cousins have been known to chase lions, bite hyenas in the n*ts, eat cobras and sleep off several hundred bee-stings at a pop. DO NOT F**K WITH ANY MEMBER OF THE BADGER CLAN.
#28
Erin 5 years ago
What is the exact number of eels that you can tie in a knot and stay in the aquarium? Asking for a friend with tickets to the aquarium this weekend.
A human i guess 5 years ago
Any amount unless someone sees you, so about...2
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#29
stuart thomas 5 years ago
The Pope reclassified ducks as fish so that they could be eaten by monks on a Friday. No really, it's true.
Harley Hans Hoglin 5 years ago
The same thing with capabaries the largest member of the rodent family. Catholics could eat them on Fridays. It's Friday whats for dinner? A rodent of unusual size.
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#30
Becca Gizmo the Squirrel 5 years ago
The oldest dolphin ever died. I can't wrap my head around what this means.
Storm Dervish 5 years ago
Male dolphins are, as someone pointed out, deep sea rapists and the high school jocks of marine mammals. They have been known to drown other animals or bludgeon them to death in group play and more than one female diver has been the recipient of 'surprise sex' from a male porpoise.
Thunder 5 years ago
Dolphin facts: Dolphins are more intelligent than humans There are dolphin gangs with only males who kidnap females from a group to f**k her Dolphins bite in poisonous pufferfishes to get high Dolphins can communicate better than humans do without internet (this is seriously) Dolphins are most of the time extroverts
John Baker 5 years ago
Why are people being downvoted for saying this isn't funny? That's just the simple truth.
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What do you think ?
Celeste Grant 5 years ago
I love the brilliantly bizarre British sense of humour used to write these. They sound like drunk people sat in the pub on a wet bank holiday trying to hold a serious discussion after too many pints!
Marika Stanway 5 years ago
This is the BEST Bored Panda post EVER! I mean, EVER! I can't stop laughing! Can I get these in a book?!
Celeste Grant 5 years ago
I love the brilliantly bizarre British sense of humour used to write these. They sound like drunk people sat in the pub on a wet bank holiday trying to hold a serious discussion after too many pints!
Marika Stanway 5 years ago
This is the BEST Bored Panda post EVER! I mean, EVER! I can't stop laughing! Can I get these in a book?!
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