Dave Releases 30 Animal ‘Guides’ And They’re So Ridiculous, They’re Hilarious

The animal kingdom is huge and unless you're my colleague, Justė, who's like a walking encyclopedia (seriously, the woman knows everything, point to a random bug on the ground and she'll tell you all about its ancestors a million years ago), it's impossible to know everything about it. So, to broaden your understanding of the beings we share Earth with, UK TV channel Dave launched an online campaign titled What the bloody hell is a ... ?

During it, the channel shared pictures of various wild animals along with some of their defining characteristics. And yes, the descriptions and the facts about animals aren't completely legit. Well, actually, they're almost pure fiction. But they're so ridiculous, they're kinda genius. Continue scrolling down to the animal trivia and you'll understand what I mean.

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Final score:

257points

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nanashi 4 years ago

5 out of 6 of this is me, therefore I am a penguin.

74points

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Launched in 1998, Dave uses its social media to create absolute nonsense. Like their animal guides. "It's always good to learn new things about the natural world, even if the fun facts aren't always 100% true," a Dave spokesperson told Bored Panda.

Usually, the channel's social media team comes up with the ideas for such campaigns. "We use our Facebook page, Instagram and Twitter to promote our TV shows, but we also like to make content to make our followers laugh as they are checking their newsfeeds!" the spokesperson said.

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193points

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Slinkman 4 years ago

Seagulls are flying artillery with poop canons.

63points

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There isn't really a scheme behind how the channel communicates with their viewers online as they usually simply go with the flow. "We just see how we are feeling that day, to be honest! It could be something in the news or just something that springs to mind, there is no rhyme or reason to it!"

However, if you'd also like to go through some actual animal facts, fire up Bored Panda's earlier articles called 42 Interesting Animal Facts That You Can Throw Out In Casual Conversations, 30 Happy Animal Facts That Will Make You Smile, and 30 Weird Animal Facts They Didn't Teach You In School.

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Final score:

187points

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Hans 4 years ago

Suirrel out of a duck? No, a mouse with wings. "Fledermaus" in German, i.e. Fluttermouse.

66points

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182points

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Monday 4 years ago

They will also kick the s**t out of you if given half a chance.

46points

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171points

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J. Peterman 4 years ago

Last one: so you're saying otters have sense?

106points

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170points

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Rose the Cook 4 years ago

Number one LOL!

50points

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166points

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Christopher Hughes 4 years ago

i also can live up to 300 hundred years if i don't die first ;)

61points

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150points

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Christopher Hughes 4 years ago

bAstArDSs

37points

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147points

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Monday 4 years ago

Come to me my sheeplings!!

29points

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#10

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Chancey 4 years ago

"Stuff a duck full of America" is the best description ever!!!

99points

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#11

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128points

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Becca Gizmo the Squirrel 4 years ago

The Queen owns all The swans in England.

25points

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#12

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128points

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Norma 4 years ago

Llama bean!! Squeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

49points

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#13

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Christopher Hughes 4 years ago

Points for accuracy. scary devils them.

33points

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#14

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Erika Jones 4 years ago

The smallest horse ever actually just really far away - LOL!!

49points

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#15

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118points

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Lisa Napes 4 years ago

You should see a cassowary

5points

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#16

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Erika Jones 4 years ago

The last one - haha!

22points

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#17

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107points

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Ilona 4 years ago

Fun fact: In Dutch, the word for squirrel (eekhoorn) differs only 1 letter from the word for unicorn (eenhoorn). Therefore, squirrels are 95% as magical als unicorns. People have occasionally spotted rainbow farts coming from squirrels.

78points

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#18

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106points

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Carol Emory 4 years ago

A parrot being hoovered...that's hilarious.

36points

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#27

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77points

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Norma 4 years ago

and they don't care...

27points

Bernice Wittwer 4 years ago (edited)

That’s their cousin, honey badger. His name is Randal and he doesn’t give a sh*t

3points

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Alexis Grunden 4 years ago

Note: Badgers also have montane and savanna-dwelling kindred, the wolverine and the honeybadger, respectively. Wolverines are the only animal in N. Americ insane enough to look at an adult grizzly chewing on a salmon and think "Yeah, he looks like a total b**ch; I bet I could take him. You gonna finish that? I'LL F**KIN' FIGHT YA FOR IT!!" Their hot-weather cousins have been known to chase lions, bite hyenas in the n*ts, eat cobras and sleep off several hundred bee-stings at a pop. DO NOT F**K WITH ANY MEMBER OF THE BADGER CLAN.

3points

Ripley 4 years ago

Mushroom! Mushroom!

1point

D r e a m l a n d s 4 years ago

SnAaAAAAAKE sssnnnAAAAAAaaakkeeee ooooh its a snaaaaakeeee

1point

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Tor Tor 3 years ago

here's a hint they have 4 legs

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#28

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76points

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Erin 4 years ago

What is the exact number of eels that you can tie in a knot and stay in the aquarium? Asking for a friend with tickets to the aquarium this weekend.

58points

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#29

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75points

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Daniel Mason 4 years ago

Water pheasant

12points

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#30

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73points

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Becca Gizmo the Squirrel 4 years ago

The oldest dolphin ever died. I can't wrap my head around what this means.

22points

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What do you think ?

I'd like one of these delivered to me every morning....seems like a great way to start the day.

Iris 4 years ago

love this kind of humor 😂😂

26points

gibsonpic 4 years ago

Brilliant! I had a really good giggle at these...'an armadillo is a hedgehog in a caravan '😂

15points

Celeste Grant 4 years ago

I love the brilliantly bizarre British sense of humour used to write these. They sound like drunk people sat in the pub on a wet bank holiday trying to hold a serious discussion after too many pints!

Elizabeth Schuyler 4 years ago

This is possibly the most british thing I've ever read

Toni 4 years ago

seems legit..

4points

You need to be from the U.K. to really appreciate some of these.

Sarawyn 4 years ago

LMAO these are hilarious!

Marika Stanway 4 years ago

This is the BEST Bored Panda post EVER! I mean, EVER! I can't stop laughing! Can I get these in a book?!

2points

Night Owl 4 years ago

This was fun

Zach Tan 4 years ago

Now I want her to do ond for the platypus.

TaranW 4 years ago

This was fantastic!

Mike Crow 4 years ago

Needs to do Canadian Geese.

PeachPossum 4 years ago

You mean a Canadian Gorse?

Rich Ford 3 years ago

Is that an aardvark on the promo crossing the street with Dave ?

John Doe 4 years ago

What is this absurd Brit dad jokery because I want more!

Therter 4 years ago (edited)

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Christina Uhlir 4 years ago

The bloody hell, all those animals are egregiously exploited and massacred to extinction ...and that's not funny.

Chal1973 4 years ago (edited)

-2points

Rench 4 years ago

Meh....

Sherbaan Naab 4 years ago

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Lillukka79 4 years ago

Dave Releases 30 Animal ‘Guides’ And They’re So Ridiculous, They’re Hilarious

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