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35 Times People Had To Go To Great Lengths To Keep Up The Lies They'd Told Not me but when I started as a newspaper journalist 20 years ago our leader writer was a man called Edward.

I only found out when he retired after 45 years with the paper that his name wasn’t Edward at all. When he started aged 16 one of the paper’s owners showed him round and had misheard his name.

He was too nervous to correct the owner so he went by the wrong name for nearly 50 years. His real name is Dudley.

Jackamo78 , Ammy Singh Report

Final score:

245points

POST

𝓚𝓮𝓲𝓽𝓱 1 year ago

I didn’t know Dudley was an actual name that people used lol

63points

35 Times People Had To Go To Great Lengths To Keep Up The Lies They'd Told My partner and I pretended to be vegetarian for 10 years to avoid her aunt’s awful cooking. By the end we were actually vegetarian.

MikeSizemore , Adam Bartoszewicz Report

Final score:

241points

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Rider 1 year ago

That salad looks amazing.

47points

35 Times People Had To Go To Great Lengths To Keep Up The Lies They'd Told I didn't want to go to a neighbor's party, but they could see my car, so I drove to a town 40 minutes away just to have an excuse not to go.

RevaniteN7 , Jaromír Kavan Report

Final score:

216points

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R 1 year ago

I would do the same.

82points

35 Times People Had To Go To Great Lengths To Keep Up The Lies They'd Told My entire family thinks I met my husband online on discord. I actually met him during a threesome.

BooksAndStarsLover , Adrienn Report

Final score:

213points

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OhnoI’vebeencensored 1 year ago

Starts with a bang

111points

35 Times People Had To Go To Great Lengths To Keep Up The Lies They'd Told I once worked in a smallish and pretty casual office. There was a park nearby where I'd go for a walk at lunch and sometimes I'd sit in the grass and do a few stretches before heading back. Well one day I guess a decent amount of leaves had gotten stuck to my long sweater, I went to the bathroom when I got back and a handful fell on the stall floor without my awareness. Not too long after, someone comes out wondering who would put a pile of leaves in the bathroom and why. It blew up very quickly and spread around the office. I knew it had to be me. Being the "outdoorsy person" I was questioned a few times. At the time I was very shy with a back corner desk where I'd pop in headphones and do my editing work, I definitely did not want attention so I denied it and acted clueless when asked, thinking it'd end with the day. It did not. The next day, my manager was greeted by a small pile of leaves on their desk in the morning. It became a war, it went on for weeks. I was too deep to admit the truth now. Leaves on desks, leaves dropped on heads, leaves stuck to the backs of shirts. It finally culminated on Halloween when TWO women from different departments came in dressed as piles of leaves. I never said a word!

EarthCadence , Ketut Subiyanto Report

Final score:

197points

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That Bi Book Lover 1 year ago

That seems fun!

81points

35 Times People Had To Go To Great Lengths To Keep Up The Lies They'd Told I've spent more than eight years in the same residence.

My neighbours are quite welcoming. Every time they see me go outside, they say hello, especially the wife. Every time, she'll wave, say, "Hi, Rebecca!" and flash a wide smile.

Rebecca is not my name. At this time, it would be too awkward to fix. I simply had to take responsibility for it.

Wheaurk , MariaSiurt Report

Final score:

168points

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Phobrek 1 year ago

I was bringing my trash out, stopped to look at the moon. Next door neighbor (15' separates our houses) had brought his out. He waved. He smiled. He asked me, "just move in?" We've lived next to each other for 22 years. Best buds!

102points

35 Times People Had To Go To Great Lengths To Keep Up The Lies They'd Told I had surgery for something that wasn’t even an issue.

When I was in middle school I enjoyed faking being sick so I was able to skip school, especially if that meant my parents were at work and I was all alone. I was able to make hot chocolate and play video games all day. It was a great time.
At the time I didn’t think much about the excuses I used, so most of the time it was just “sore throat”.

After having used that excuse several times over the period of a year my parents finally took me to the doctor to have my throat looked at. They did find one of my tonsils was noticeably larger than the other one and figured this could have been the cause of my issues. So they suggested surgically removing it. I was around 10 years old so I didn’t realize what surgery really was so I didn’t come clean.

A few weeks later I was on the surgical table.

To this day I haven’t told my parents about it. I’m 26.

On the positive side I was ordered to stay home from school for 14 days after the surgery and the doctor told me to eat lots of ice cream. So it was a win for me, I guess.

Fhital , Olga Guryanova Report

Final score:

160points

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Lia 1 year ago

Ice cream is a win, but skipping school isn't as good. I hate school too, so can't say I blame them...

41points

35 Times People Had To Go To Great Lengths To Keep Up The Lies They'd Told Met my wife on one of those telephone chat dating things in the 90's. Basically, before OKCupid, you would sign up for a voicemail and describe yourself. We connected and went out but were both embarrassed for using it. Fast forward 18 years, we continue to tell everyone we met in the music section at Borders.

Drife1994 , beigethreads Report

Final score:

157points

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OhnoI’vebeencensored 1 year ago

Borders? How embarrassing!!

42points

#10

35 Times People Had To Go To Great Lengths To Keep Up The Lies They'd Told My mom is white and blonde, my stepdad is italian and I'm black and look exactly like my father. Walking around with them in public attracted a look of confused looks, one time I caught a dude looking and told him I was adopted from Africa. Some of my friends heard it and they all believed me instantly. I managed to keep that lie for 2 weeks, in the process I had to keep learning and making comments about Africa during conversations to appear sincere.

Wrsj , Ogo Report

Final score:

157points

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LoneTomato 1 year ago

I'm sorry but what is happening with that rogue bit of hair in the picture? It's literally not connected to her hands or anything. Unless.... it's magic?

82points

#11

35 Times People Had To Go To Great Lengths To Keep Up The Lies They'd Told So it was sophomore year of high school, I took 1 class of basic 3D modeling as an elective. Keep in mind BASIC my models were bad but what are going to expect from a 16 y/o. A little later I was playing on a Minecraft pixelmon server (Pokémon in Minecraft) where I made friends with the owner and became a moderator. The owner of the server was also on the development team of the mod and he asked in the discord if anyone has any 3D modeling experience, I said I did (not a lie), he asked me if I could fix a current model he had that was giving him issues so I said sure (again basic, me moving the model was a miracle) but I looked up a bunch of tutorials and forcibly taught my self how to model. Over the course of the next year and a half I kept teaching my self and learning and I'd say I got pretty good at 3D modeling, and for a brief stint (before I left the project) I became the head 3D artist of the whole project and made decent money)

Mage (sever owner and dev of the mod) if you are seeing this, sorry for the lie, and thanks for the opportunity's

Graphics159 , Ivan Babydov Report

Final score:

147points

POST

Lia 1 year ago

Learning new skills is always pretty cool :)

41points

TallEnoughJones , seventyfourimages Report

#12

35 Times People Had To Go To Great Lengths To Keep Up The Lies They'd Told It's a long story but if you ever see me around my grandparents please refer to me as *Doctor* TallEnoughJones

Final score:

133points

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𝓚𝓮𝓲𝓽𝓱 1 year ago

Please backstoryyyy

38points

Standard_Chemist_726 , Yerlin Matu Report

#13

35 Times People Had To Go To Great Lengths To Keep Up The Lies They'd Told My brother got away with one for 15 years because he doesn’t like cats.

Ex-SIL: “I’ve always loved cats but he’s allergic”

Mom: “no he’s not”

Brother: “c**p!”

Final score:

130points

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That Bi Book Lover 1 year ago (edited)

I wonder why she’s an ex… Edit so that I don’t get downvoted into oblivion: /j

57points

Ardet_Nec_Consumitur , Greta Hoffman Report

#14

35 Times People Had To Go To Great Lengths To Keep Up The Lies They'd Told When I was a kid, I came home from school. But mom wasn't home yet and the backdoor was locked and I didn't have a key. I got a little mad and kicked the door. Of course that piece of s**t broke down. I freaked out: if mom sees this, she's gonna [take me out]. But then I came up with a plan.

We lived next to a forest so I go into forest look for the biggest, heaviest branch I could find. I pulled that f****r out of woods and I gently put into the the gaping hole in the door. Looked totally legit.

Then mom came home. She took one look at it and slapped me in the face.

Final score:

123points

POST

That Bi Book Lover 1 year ago

Come on BP. Take me out? Sheesh.

54points

#15

35 Times People Had To Go To Great Lengths To Keep Up The Lies They'd Told I used to sit in my car for hours a day to act like I went out. I was too scared of my parents to tell them I dropped out of college. I eventually got a job and used that as a cover until I had enough to move out.

Llafy , Luke Ellis-Craven Report

Final score:

118points

POST

R 1 year ago (edited)

Aaaw that’s horrible. Poor human that had to grow up in a such dysfunctional family. One shouldn’t be afraid of one’s parents. They are supposed to be the safest place in the world. No matter if you are a small child or older

55points

breakfastfordinner11 , Tima Miroshnichenko Report

#16

35 Times People Had To Go To Great Lengths To Keep Up The Lies They'd Told In my early 20s, I worked as an in home caretaker of the elderly. When I was first hired with the company, I was sent to a lot of one-day jobs, like if the client’s regular caregiver was unavailable I would go fill in and then never see them again.

Being a young lady, they ALL would ask me if I was in college, which I wasn’t. I was a college dropout. And soon I got sick of the disapproving faces of these seniors whenever I would answer that I was not in school.

One day, I arrived to another client who was new to me. Sweet older couple. They asked me, as they all did, if I was in school. I was convinced I would never see these guys again, as was true for every client of mine up to this point, so I just answered yes I’m in nursing school.

I ended up being their regular caregiver for over two years. They often asked me how school was going. My best friend was actually in nursing school, so I always just parroted whatever she told me she was learning lol.

Final score:

112points

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Vanessa Richardson 1 year ago

Whew, there for a second I thought this was gonna turn into them wanting to pay her tuition or something! Glad that wasn’t the case. Lol

33points

#17

35 Times People Had To Go To Great Lengths To Keep Up The Lies They'd Told TL;DR: My grandma stubbornly lied about her age for over 70 years.

My grandmother was always incredibly vague about when she was born, how old she was when she came to the USA, how old she was when she was married, etc. Even her birthday was vague: In the old country (Eastern Europe) birthdays weren't such a big deal, so her parents chose an approximate birthday for her visa. (NB: Her parents chose Jan 15, which later became MLK day. She was pretty racist, so we'd always mess with her on her birthday by wishing her a happy MLK day.)
Anyway, on one of her birthdays she said to my mom "You know, you don't think of yourself as old, and then you get to be my age, and you have to admit it - you're old!"
My mom thought this was a strange thing to say for someone she thought was turning 77.
"Mom, how old *are* you?"
"How old do you *think* I am?"
"Now I think you're 80."
My grandmother did not confirm or deny my mother's guess.
Years later, when my grandfather died, we cleaned out his desk and found her old passport. Indeed, we found out that she came to this country in 1921 and lied about her age ever since.

In fact, she kept it up with everyone outside the family. She moved to an assisted living facility closer to my immediate family when she was in her mid-90s and never told anyone at the facility her age. Every month the kitchen would bring out a cake for people with a birthday that month - the oldest person with a birthday that month got to blow out the candles. They would ask "Who has a birthday this month?" A lot of hands would go up.
"Who has a birthday this month and is over 80?" A couple of hands would go down.
"Over 85?" A few more hands would go down.
"Over 90?" A bunch more hands lost.
Et cetera. My grandma? She never raised her hand.
We blew her cover with a 100th birthday party. Even her hairdresser had no idea.

She died at 103, outliving her cardiologist (who was 40+ years her junior) by six years.

She also lied about making gefilte fish. Then one day my mom found a jar of store-bought gefilte fish hidden in the laundry room behind boxes of detergent. When my mom brought up the jar and silently pointed to it, grandma exclaimed, "You never noticed!"

eric02138 , Danie Franco Report

Final score:

107points

POST

Ansi 1 year ago

My old grandfather was born at home as all children during that time. When the parents "registred" his birth with the local priest he misheared them (his parents) and put my grandfathers birthday as the 3rd instead of the 23rd. So for the rest of my grandfathers life, all official papers he got from doctors, goverment, drivers license and so on had his birthday as the 3rd. Not a big deal, but it was a little weird. 😊

30points

#18

When I was eight, I was a chatterbox and one day, I ended up getting detention because I wouldn't stop talking or whatever so I get this "detention notice" slip that must be signed by a parent or guardian and returned the next day.

My little Machiavellian mind quickly made up a scheme. I went home and I told my parents that I wanted to make my own signature, so I asked to see how my parents did theirs. I practiced my mother's signature until I was comfortable and then I forged the slip. My teacher didn't catch the forgery, and I got away with it lol.

I'm still super proud of that little psycho 🤣

Jormungandr91 Report

Final score:

91points

POST

AliJanx 1 year ago

impressive! I had my mother's signature down to perfection. Never used it nefariously, only to sign forms that I forgot to get her to sign.

36points

#19

35 Times People Had To Go To Great Lengths To Keep Up The Lies They'd Told I was 16 or 17 at the time. Didn’t want to go into work (I was a cashier at a grocery store). Called there before my shift and said “sorry I can’t come into work. I was out drinking in the woods last night and when the cops showed up we ran. I tripped and broke both of my arms.”

Boss says ok fine whatever. A few hours later an executive from work calls me and says I can miss work but I need to come down and show them my arms (obviously not believing me).

Well, my mom was at work as a nurse in the ER. I called her and asked if she could get me some casts. She obliges and my buddy and I drive over to the hospital to pick them up.

Head back to the house and begin forming the casts around both wrists/forearms. Let them harden and then grab some markers and have my siblings write things like get well soon on the casts. Head down to the grocery store to show my broken arms to the bosses and they had no reason to doubt at that time.

Went home, cut the casts off and didn’t go back to work for a few weeks. I don’t even remember why I didn’t want to go into work but it was probably just so I could stay home playing Xbox 360 with my friend

tireddad13 , slgckgc Report

Final score:

90points

POST

Stary_cat 1 year ago

One elaborate lie right there

66points

#20

I didn't want to come to work one day, so I called and said someone stole my car so I couldn't make it. Then for the next two weeks I had to take the bus and walk 3 miles from the bus stop to my job, and after those two weeks I had my drivers' side window rolled down and taped clear plastic over the window to appear that someone had broken into it, so I could further show that the car had been stolen.

In retrospect it probably wasn't worth all the trouble.

earhere Report

Final score:

88points

POST

Chunky 1 year ago

Coulda said you were sick and not go though that?

33points

#21

I once burnt chocolate chip cookies I was making for a baby shower. In a last ditch effort, I picked up two dozen cookies from McDonald's. My plan wasn't to mention anything to anyone, but one of our close friends was asking about the recipe and I said it was a McDonald's copycat recipe I found on Pinterest.

I quickly found a recipe I'd never tried before and shared it with her. My husband jumped on board and supported me, even though he knew the truth. He even promised to never tell a soul about the McDonald's cookies. It's been about three years now and nothing ever came of it, but it's one lie that he and I joke about every so often.

walmart_bread Report

Final score:

81points

POST

B 1 year ago

About 10 years ago when my son was in college he had a fund raiser & I made my cheesecake brownies. The local TV station interviewed him because they were the first thing to sell out, he made up an entire story about how he came up the recipe on the fly when he realized he did not have graham crackers to make a cheese cake crust. To this day he has never baked a thing in his life & we always joke about this. If someone asks me to make them I say I have to call him for the recipe

34points

#22

35 Times People Had To Go To Great Lengths To Keep Up The Lies They'd Told None of my family knows how I met my wife. They think I met her in California through a friend out there when I was in the military. We actually met on Tumblr.

We've been married almost 10 years.

Is_my_work_account , dvatri Report

Final score:

77points

POST

ADHORTATOR 1 year ago

Where is the problem?

35points

#23

My husband told everyone he had cancer. Then a few years later said it returned. After he said it returned, I found out it wasn't true either time. I have kept his secret from everyone. Everyone we know believes he is a cancer survivor. The stress of it is killing me. My throat burns 24/7 from stomach acid and I'm pretty sure I have an ulcer. I have isolated myself from everyone I know. Gave up social media except Reddit because it's anonymous. The only people I see now are 2 family members and my therapist. On top of it, he left me and is off living his life.

LoveMyHubs1993 Report

Final score:

77points

POST

Nicola Roberts 1 year ago

I used to live with a pathological liar. He was a fun guy but stories would be embellished or completely made up. In time people would look to me to find the truth, and I told them usually with a 'but' or a 'however' to soften the blow. I understand while you were with the guy because of the reflection on you, whether it's justified or not. But, for the love of all things sacred why on earth would you keep the secret after he left you????

70points

#24

35 Times People Had To Go To Great Lengths To Keep Up The Lies They'd Told With a few exceptions (my family and my best friends), most people think I am gay. I'm actually asexual, but because asexuality isn't as well-understood like being gay or bi are, I usually default to telling strangers/acquaintances that I am queer. Most of the time this works fine--because nearly everyone will understand that this means I'm not straight, and most don't want to discuss it further. (I also happen to live in an area where it's a coin-toss as to whether someone you're talking to is an ally or a bigot).

But some people *do* want to discuss it further, and these people will without fail follow this statement with, "Oh, you're a *lesbian????* There's this girl I know that's looking for a girlfriend I should introduce you two!" At that point, it's game over. They get extremely confused if I try to tell them I'm not *gay*.

"But you're not straight?"

*No, I don't like men.*

"So you must like girls."

*No, I don't like them either.*

"But you said you were gay!"

*No, I said I was queer. I'm asexual, I don't like men or women.*

"Oh you're just in the closet, it's okay!!"

I eventually just gave up. I say I'm queer, and if people interpret it as me being gay I don't correct them. I just make vague comments about already having a partner and never speak of it in front of them. My parents think it's hilarious.

Athena-Muldrow , Isi Parente Report

Final score:

76points

POST

Marcellus II 1 year ago

Say you're strictly necrophiliac and the conversion therapy hasn't worked yet? That should shut them all up, religious or 'ally'.

59points

tHeBoRdEsTpAnDa 1 year ago

Side note: the A in lgbtqia+ DOES NOT STAND FOR ALLY

2points

Lord Mysticlaw 1 year ago

Omg I feel this. Where I live a lot of people are very "conservative" or just old fashioned. Gay or lesbian is something most people can deal with, anything more complicated is just beyond them. I'm asexual and aromantic but I don't tell anyone that, I just say I'm not interested in dating.

9points

Maltaros 1 year ago

For some reason I read that as "asexual and AROMATIC". I wondered what smelling good had to do with anything.

8points

Osprey 1 year ago

just say you're not interested in relationships and you like to focus on yourself and your passions and your job. and if they say they have a friend just say "no thank you".

5points

Aroace tiger (she/they/he) 1 year ago

Didn't expect to see an asexual post, very rare

4points

KimTx ‍️ 1 year ago

Why not just say, "that's a private thing. Why do you feel the need to know?"

1point

Kitty 🥀 1 year ago

I feel like it’s easiest to just say I’m straight, although honestly no one’s ever asked me aloud what my sexuality is before. I guess most people assume hetero unless they think you give off vibes? I have dated men and developed crushes on men, so “I’m straight but don’t want a relationship “ is easier in the South. No one down here knows what hetero-asexual is.

1point

Pumpkin Spice 1 year ago

Hello fellow ace! Want some garlic bread??

1point

Claudia Schmid 1 year ago

Yes, please

1point

weatherwitch 7 months ago

I'm bewildered 🤷🏻‍♀️ I'm Asexual and it's under the Queer umbrella. Just explain it to people. So many people know something about it now but when I was young, it wasn't known. I had four Decades of feeling that I was broken. I was 46 when I discovered I wasn't broken I was just Asexual. 47 when I realised I was Aromantic. 48 I realised I was Non Binary. Decades of broken distress and torment because I did not know. We have to educate others. Currently we're one in a hundred. I think the true figure is higher but if we don't help educate them then we can't help others escape.

0points

Bryn 1 year ago

I'm asexual, I don't like anyone. And I don't like your assumptions.

0points

Leigh 1 year ago

Wow. You've had the same experience as me!

0points

Sardonyx_3 1 year ago

Wait, Ace or AroAce?

0points

Tim 1 year ago

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nachtinachtischachti 1 year ago

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Monday 1 year ago

Prick...

14points

Flat_Bodybuilder_175 Report

#25

It was an unspoken lie. My dad was visiting me (I live on the lower level of my parent's house lol) and one of my bullet vibrators was just... *there on my couch*. I saw it while talking to him and double taked, unsure if he saw it. I guessed from a slight shift in energy that he did, but it was lipstick shaped, so I started spontaneously packing up my items for a trip I actually had to pack for, throwing the vibrator in my makeup case and mentioning that I left my makeup everywhere.

I don't think he believed me for a moment. But I hope he appreciated my half asked attempt to bring him peace of mind.

Final score:

75points

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Carlos 1 year ago

Oh my, i thought you were going to say put it up to you lips to somehow pretend it was lipstick. phew

38points

#26

35 Times People Had To Go To Great Lengths To Keep Up The Lies They'd Told In school i accidentally left a notebook in a class. It was a new notebook and during that class I’d only written one page… a rather embarrassing page. Well i realized later I’d forgotten it and someone was going to find it and open it to see whose it was and be met with no name, just a page of writing so bizarre that they’re surely going to want to find who wrote it. So i started faking an entire new notebook of notes and assignments using a whole made up handwriting style. Eventually the principle called me into her office and asked me if that notebook was mine. I told her it was not and that doesnt look like my writing and i showed her my other notebook for comparison.

ScalyPig , energepic.com Report

Final score:

70points

POST

Carlos 1 year ago

Made a blunder, recognized the blunder, thought of all possible outcomes, designed a cover-up plan, executed it perfectly. 10/10

10points

Dutch Swimmer Goes Viral For Super Revealing Trunks During 2024 Olympics: “Is This Legal?”

See Also on Bored Panda

Thrill-Seeking Diver Jumps Down Extreme Waterslide, Ignoring The Strict Ban For Women

#27

35 Times People Had To Go To Great Lengths To Keep Up The Lies They'd Told I once sprayed the whole 3 acre yard, house, garage, porch, etc... down with a hose on a july afternoon so my dad would think it rained and i wouldnt get in trouble for not mowing the lawn.

snakesRcool , Karolina Grabowska Report

Final score:

67points

POST

Lia 1 year ago

It would have probably just been better to get it over with, honestly

53points

#28

35 Times People Had To Go To Great Lengths To Keep Up The Lies They'd Told When I was a dumb teenager, I wouldn’t take my full dose of antibiotics when I would get a UTI (which I would get often at the time). So now there are two very common antibiotics that won’t work for me. I’ve tried explaining to doctors so many times, but they always insist it will be fine, the infection doesn’t go away, and I have to go back in. Another copay and another round of antibiotics to pay for. So now I’m allergic.

Actrivia24 , Karolina Grabowska Report

Final score:

64points

POST

HOUSE 1 year ago

Why wouldn't they work?

14points

#29

I had a chance to meet my favorite band at the time (white chapel), but had to work, so I called and said I got into a car crash 2 cities over (the city where the band was). My boss said to send him a pic of the car before I could come back to work. So me and a friend went and crashed it into a derelict telephone pole at about 20 mph after jumping a ditch. It was an old Honda prelude and it just f*****g crumpled. Sent a pic to my boss and he said "are you okay that looks horrible!". The engine wasn't damaged and it still ran fine. Met the band, and drove the car to work the next day. My boss told me to go home and recover. He paid me for both days and I played call of duty mw2 (the original) all day.

Gonergonegone Report

Final score:

60points

POST

Carlos 1 year ago

I just hope it was a good concert

23points

Woman Put A Water Fountain With A Camera In Her Yard, Here Are 24 Photos Of Regular Visitors (New Pics)

See Also on Bored Panda

“Ma’am I Live Here”: Woman Refuses To Back Out Of Driveway, Learns A Lesson The Hard Way

#30

I didn't want to eat chili, so my first response was "I am cutting back on my meat intake.

Went vegan for 2 years.

antiskylar1 Report

Final score:

56points

POST

Tim 1 year ago

I get very annoyed when people don't accept "no thank you" as an answer.

25points

#31

35 Times People Had To Go To Great Lengths To Keep Up The Lies They'd Told I called out of work with the excuse that my truck had died when I was on my way to work. My manager at the time said he would give me a paid day off if I brought him a receipt for the tow truck the next day. I said ok, hung up the phone and began to panic because my truck was sitting at home in perfect working order. I went to office max, bought a pack of those contractor work order pads along with some receipt paper. Went home and researched average tow rates, if it’s taxed, etc. Forged a tow truck work order, went online and found some fake receipt website where you just fill in the info and it makes a receipt you can print, printed a fake receipt with a made up to company’s name, and my friends name and phone number on it. Made sure the time on the receipt matched up with when I called out, made the handwriting look almost illegible on the work order, and gave my friend a heads up that someone from my employer might be calling him to verify the tow, just incase. Took the customer copy of the fake tow work order, stapled the receipt to the top right corner of the paper, and folder it up to look as legitimate as humanly possible. Took a different car to work the next morning to make it seem more legitimate. Set it on my managers desk the next morning, and mentioned that I left the tow receipt on his desk when I saw him. Never heard anything about it and received the paid day off. Ended up selling the truck shortly after and mentioned that I had “sold that piece of s**t” to my manager to cover my tracks even more.

DullPiano8498 , am Report

Final score:

51points

POST

The Goo King 1 year ago

I suspect all this took nearly as much time and effort as just going to work...

64points

50 Of The Most Incredible Shots That Were Submitted To The Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards

See Also on Bored Panda

French Diver’s “Jewels” In Tight Swimming Trunks Become Talk Of The Town At Olympics

#32

35 Times People Had To Go To Great Lengths To Keep Up The Lies They'd Told Not me, but my sister. Two particular accounts come to mind:

* In 2008, my sister and her then-husband announced they were pregnant. We were happy for her, but as the months went along, things stopped adding up. She was gaining weight, but there was literally no baby bump of any kind. To be fair, she was and still is a bigger woman, so we gave her the benefit of the doubt.

Then, she'd say she had an ultrasound or some other pregnancy-based appointment. Thing is, whenever I or anyone else would ask to see the ultrasound pictures, she always had some sort of excuse. Either, "the doctors wouldn't let me have them," "I spilled water on them and have to get new copies," etc. Around the time she *should* have delivered the baby, there was still no baby bump of any kind.

Long story short, she eventually admitted she and her husband made up the entire pregnancy and she wasn't pregnant. She was in a bad place mentally and faked the pregnancy for sympathy, attention, etc. It was at that moment that I stopped believing anything she said unless there was some sort of verifiable proof, which leads me to...

* 2009, when she again began gaining weight. This time around, she even began to develop a baby bump. However, she and her husband swore there was no pregnancy. Despite the growing bump, there were no check-ups, ultrasounds or anything of the nature scheduled.

So imagine my surprise when in March, I get a phone call from my dad saying she had given birth to a son. I was flabbergasted because once more she lied through her teeth for nine months but this time around it was a total 180 in nature.

Unfortunately, her son was born with autism and to this day, I sometimes wonder if this is because she didn't go to any sort of OBGYN check-ins. On the other hand, I feel she did take every precaution this time around and was just given a bad hand.

To add insult to injury, she actually appeared on an episode of TLC's *I Didn't Know I was Pregnant.* When she told me the producers accepted her story, she asked if I'd be willing to be on camera for interview soundbites. I flat-out refused and told her to not involve me in any of it, because I am fairly certain she indeed knew she was pregnant.

It goes without saying that my sister and I no longer have the best of relationships.

shaoting , Vanessa Report

Final score:

47points

POST

Claire B 1 year ago

Medical appointments don't make babies not have autism

106points

Woman Moves Out Of Parents' Home After They Asked Her To Give Her Space To Brother, They Freak Out

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Mom Leaves $250k Inheritance To Son, Throws A Fit When Daughter Stops Looking After Her

#33

35 Times People Had To Go To Great Lengths To Keep Up The Lies They'd Told Well, there was this one time I pretended not to know what a potato was (as a joke), and my partner’s parents thought I was serious. So I made the poor decision to commit to the lie, which enraged them and resulted in a huge fight and I am now so committed the only way out for me is if they actually believe I don’t know what a potato is.

imakenosensetopeople , Markus Spiske Report

Final score:

43points

POST

Lia 1 year ago

...could anyone fill me in on what a potato is? I don't understand the post...? /j

38points

Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk

#34

35 Times People Had To Go To Great Lengths To Keep Up The Lies They'd Told F**k, I had to be in 6th grade when one of my teachers threatened to call home. I didn’t want to get in trouble and in like a sarcastic way I said I don’t have a home. I was actually in my dads custody and didn’t really talk much to my mom so I was just trying to stop them from calling my dad. My teacher actually took that serious and I had to talk to my school counselor trying to convince him I was homeless and my parents abandoned me. It only took a couple of calls to call out my b******t but I guess I took it pretty far. Went on like 2-3 days

sormnice , RODNAE Productions Report

Final score:

41points

POST

That Bi Book Lover 1 year ago

That’s a good teacher for caring :D

32points

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#35

35 Times People Had To Go To Great Lengths To Keep Up The Lies They'd Told I was seeing a guy that my friends didn’t want me to be seeing. I went to his house and parked in his driveway but when we took his car to go get dinner he backed right into my car and smashed the headlight and left a nice dent. My friend who didn’t want me to see this guy works on cars so I gathered up all the broken bits of my headlight, towed my car to my work, scattered the broken bits to recreate the illusion that someone had backed into my car at work. I then called my friend and he came with his tow truck and got my car. To this day he has no idea what really happened to my car.

LadyBuxton , Artem Podrez Report

Final score:

41points

POST

Casey 1 year ago

Why would you need to tow a car for a broken headlight and a dent?

37points

"I Didn't Start The Dryer": Karen Gets Taught A Lesson After Throwing Out Neighbor's Wet Clothes

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#36

35 Times People Had To Go To Great Lengths To Keep Up The Lies They'd Told To f**k with one of my friends I decided it pretend I got married to 2 women while on my trip to Vegas. To further this story I had a photo from a photo op they had infront of one of the casinos and whenever he was over I started wearing one of the rings I made in jewelry class. He would occasionally ask how they are doing and I would bs some story about saving up so they could move up here. The best part is that another friend of mine that we hung out with frequently was also in on it. After about 3 months we broke the news to him that I was just f*****g with him the whole time and he took it well.

Alexastria , Guttorm Flatabø Report

Final score:

19points

POST

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#37

For context, I am Hispanic. My dad has brown skin and is often told that he looks Filipino

About 4-5 years ago, I was quite unpopular and wanted to talk to a group of girls that I fancied. All of the girls are Filipino and bonded over their shared nationality/heritage.

Dont ask me why or how, but I ended up convincing them that I'm half-Filipino, this ended up having them bring me into their circle and introduce me to their families as their half-Filipino bisexual (not really) token boy. This lie ended up spreading from one girl's family to another and I eventually had 3-4 families believing that I'm half-Filipino.

This was going well and I eventually started to go to birthday parties and events of theirs, they'd ask me if I spoke Tagalog and in order to keep up the lie, I hired a language tutor to teach me basic Tagalog so I could appeal to their parents.

This lie went on for 4 years until a picnic that consisted of all of the families and me, they invited my parents but I didn't want to have them accidentally reveal that I'm not Filipino at all so I told the girls that my parents were busy and went alone.

One of the moms eventually saw my dad for the first time and since it was from far away without any conversation, they became fully convinced that I'm half-Filipino.

At the picnic, they mentioned my dad and began asking me about my family and where in the Phillipines they're located. I had to make up some lies on the fly, including that since my dad had to move away when he was young, that he didnt speak any Tagalog. Looking back, this was probably the cringiest thing I've done and I felt so bad about lying to their faces.

I came home after the picnic feeling extremely guilty and decided to reveal it to one of the girls who I had become close friends with. She didnt think of it as a big deal and thanked me for telling her. I eventually got around to telling the others and even though their reactions weren't as bad as I thought they'd be, I havent been invited to any events so I guess I got what I deserved

tacothepugpuppy Report

Final score:

19points

POST

Chunky 1 year ago

I’m glad you confessed but that kind of thing can make people think they can’t trust anything you say

11points

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#38

35 Times People Had To Go To Great Lengths To Keep Up The Lies They'd Told I'm not fond of my surname, for a bunch of reasons, and on my teenage years people started knowing me by my nickname. At some point, they started to think it was my surname and I adopted it. It's how I identify myself when I meet people and try to use my real one only on necesity.

Lots of people in fact only knows me as that since my first name is pretty common and it's easier to remember me like that. For years and years my closest group of friends though it to be true (Untill one day I left my backpack with them and they searched for identification, the bastards). Still, they forget sometimes and they have to do the work to ask common friends until someone remembers.

Now at 29 I always introduce myself like that, and I've gone long ways to make people think it's true. I've lost the trust of people because they found it's not true.

It's not really important, and I don't really care that much, but I will f*****g die before admitting to anybody my real surname.

ImClandestine , Soumyadeep Paul Report

Final score:

18points

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Carrie de Luka 1 year ago

Why not legally change it? I can't speak for all countries but in some it's not that difficult.

31points

#39

When I was in high school as an utterly awkward idiot with hardly any friends, I pretended I was chatting up random celebrities and friends on my lil' flip phone just to make myself seem cool because everyone had a smartphone and I didn't...and also because I didn't have many friends.

Spoiler: it didn't work.

Next to my "being a cat" phase in middle school, it takes the top spot for "Most Cringey Phases and Moments". Luckily I stopped doing it in senior year when I got an actual smartphone.

DidDunMegasploded Report

Final score:

18points

POST

nachtinachtischachti 1 year ago

Being a cat - phase? I'm too old for this s**t...

8points

#40

35 Times People Had To Go To Great Lengths To Keep Up The Lies They'd Told I offered to keep a Friend's Dog because he had no time to play or walk it. the dog stayed with me at my parents house for 1 week, turns out i'm not much of a dog person. I did not have the guts to tell him I did not want the dog. I felt really bad. So I told him I was moving out of my parents house to a new city and no dogs are allowed where I live so he took him back.

a few weeks pass by and he asks me why I havent moved yet. I told him my job start date keeps getting changed. I started applying for jobs in a different city, eventually got an interview and started my Career in I.T in a large metropolitan city.

I still haven't told him why I gave the dog back.

cisADMlN , Fredrik Öhlander Report

Final score:

15points

POST

Spocks's Mom 1 year ago

Poor pup. All it wants is love.

18points

#41

When I was 16 my parents went to work in a state prison. I was living with my grandmother and determined not to go live with them so I decided to run off and get married. Not knowing we needed a license we couldn’t get married so we just told everyone we were. I never planned to stay married but didn’t know how to get out of it. After about 6 years we filed for “divorce”. After a while I quit telling people I was ever married to him but never told anyone that knew that we were never married in the first place. It has now been 60 years and I don’t think I ever told anyone. My parents and anyone I was keeping it from are long since dead.

youknowwhotheyare Report

Final score:

11points

POST

Michael Largey 1 year ago

I'm reading the first two sentences over and over to somehow convince myself that he didn't marry his grandmother. It's not working too well.

9points

INeverSaidIWasNice Report

#42

When I was a child my dad would force me to lie to my mother against my wishes. I would go to many lengths to cover up lies and to keep a straight face. My mom found out the truth because I screamed it in my sleep though.

Final score:

10points

POST

Spocks's Mom 1 year ago

This could be horrible and abusive depending on the lie. I mean asking someone to lie for you is bad enough, but if it's covering up a dark secret...

12points

#43

I'm huge into quizzes, trivia, that kind of thing, and there's a group that I'm part of that does regular meets and quizzes together. They're almost like family by this point, and we know a lot about each others lives.

Upon joining the group I was a bit insecure about my educational situation, and told them that I had a masters degree. As you can imagine, intellect is highly revered in this group, and I just wanted to fit in.

I didn't think i'd ever be questioned on this, but it's getting to the point now where the lie is becoming more of a burden than anything. I've been looking for a job recently, and there's a person on my team who's been trying to help me out by sending me job vacancies that she think would suit me.

Of course, I'm under qualified for all of them as I don't have the masters degree I claimed to have. I want to tell her the truth but I'm seriously scared about her reaction, and concerned her reaction might be violent on some people.

I'm getting some help soon from a man I found on craigslist, he's coming to my apartment soon to discuss my issue and I'm really hoping to resolve this peacefully.

spb1 Report

Final score:

10points

POST

Phobrek 1 year ago

Last paragraph is the kind a person writes just before disappearing off the face of the earth...

34points

#44

I still use "I'm a student" as an excuse or to get benefits. Obviously doesn't work on official things but I can get half priced concert tickets, software, discount meals. I often say "would you like to see my ID" and do the motion of trying to show it, just to be nice. I sweet talk people with compliments to make them put down their guard and not make them suspicious. I've joined workshops only for students that would have otherwise cost me money or not been allowed to attend.

MosquitoRevenge Report

Final score:

9points

POST

Tenacious Squirrel 1 year ago

The author says it “obviously doesn’t work on official things” but then goes on to say they can get half priced concert tickets, software, meals, workshops. How are these not official things? Here you need student ID to claim any student discount. They don’t just waive it if you motion to show the ID… and then don’t show it. I can’t make any sense of what this person means!

8points

Business-Pomelo-28 Report

#45

Out of humor, I told two close friends I and SO was busy every tuesday so we could not meet at tuesdays. When they asked why i told them we had linedance-practice (the real reason was SO was busy with another hobby), and they bought it. Two years down the line, they still think we go to linedance-lessons. I sit at home bored to death every tuesday and I have been bored every tuesday for two years. The weirdest is linedance is not even a thing in our country, nobody dances linedance here.

Final score:

9points

POST

PandaGoPanda 1 year ago

Well, you could just tell them that you don't go any more

7points

#46

I once told my deceased fiancé's parents I bought a house in the Hamptons. Solarium, horses, everything.

02K30C1 Report

Final score:

7points

POST

Stacie R. Keathley 1 year ago

George?

14points

#47

My parents are those stereotypical hard to please people. I told them my interest in animating, and now they're hounding me to do better.

I've been downloading the old scenes from songs of war (high quality Minecraft series), in their original .blend file form, deleting the composition, and rendering it out as a viewport render.

I show them the scene in blender, pretending I've made it myself, then show the "final product"...
Been learning animation on my own, parents are off my back.. f**k them.

miniminer1999 Report

Final score:

5points

POST

Shifty McFlea 1 year ago

I loved sow! So sad it got canceled but understandable why

2points

A writer here at Bored Panda, I am a lover of good music, good food, and good company, which makes food-related topics and feel-good stories my favorite ones to cover. Passionate about traveling and concerts, I constantly seek occasions to visit places yet personally unexplored. I also enjoy spending free time outdoors, trying out different sports—even if I don’t look too graceful at it—or socializing over a cup of coffee.

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I'm a Visual Editor for Bored Panda. I’m also an analog collage artist. My love for images and experience in layering goes well with both creating collages by hand and working with digital images as an Editor. When I’m not using my kitchen area as an art studio I also do various experiments making my own cosmetics or brewing kombucha. When I’m not at home you would most definitely find me attending a concert or walking my dog.

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What do you think ?

POST

Tenacious Squirrel 1 year ago

I couldn’t face school and pretended to be unwell with stomach ache. I was being badly bullied but didn’t feel I could tell anyone. Anyway my mum ended up taking me to the doctors because I had “stomach ache” all the time. They referred me to a specialist and we spent so much wasted time having it investigated. Probably the saddest thing about this, looking back now, is that my mum found me crying many times so eventually I told her I was being bullied. She just shook her head and told me not to be silly, walked off and that was it. And that’s how I learnt to definitely *never* tell my parents anything.

18points

Marla 1 year ago

That's horrible parenting and you deserved far better

1point

Adam L 1 year ago

I once convinced a new coworker at a convenience store at that I was banned from touching the lottery machine because I knew the codes to print winning tickets.... but came clean by the end of the shift because I felt bad about how gullible the person was....

6points

OmBoyGanesh 1 year ago (edited)

I went to undergrad school at a university in Southern California. The stipend that was supposed to cover entertainment, shopping & eating out wasn’t enough for my tastes at the time, so I decided to find a part time job. Something that my family was opposed to, because they wanted me to focus on school. I fell into a high-end, gay escort “ring” (that was eventually busted & somewhat notorious), but ended up going out on my own. I had a college friend who did it with me. We’d often get taken to high-end places, nice trips, Hollywood events & even some awards and industry shows. I wasn’t ashamed about the work & it often didn’t involve secs. Still, I didn’t want my family to know nor did I want to explain it to friends. The cover story was that this friend’s (the “business” partner) aunt lived alone in LA (true) & had MS. We were her help, often heading out at a moments notice & over weekends/vacations. He told his people that I had the aunt. This cover story worked all 4+ years.

5points

Unpopular opinions 1 year ago

Society would be a lot better if people told the truth.

3points

Tamra 1 year ago

Except when I ask if these jeans make my a*s look fat. Then lie to me. Lie, lie, lie.

1point

Kate Jones 1 year ago

When I started online in the 90s one of the things you were told was to never share your private info with anyone and if anyone asks, you're married. It was for safety reasons. In 2001 a show called Alias with Jennifer Garner came out about a woman who was spy. One of her aliases was Kate Jones which is how I got this user name. I've had is for 22 years. I ended up meeting friends online, not thinking it would be anything, but they ended up being really great friends. For literally over 10 years they thought my name was Kate Jones and that I was married because that was my story and at that point it had been so long I just didn't know how to tell them without it being super weird. I'm not sure why I didn't just tell them the truth, but they just liked my story and I felt weird. I'd lied about it so long that at that point it I truly felt like I was a pos. We eventually fell out of touch but I still feel so horrible about it.

3points

Yoga Kitty 1 year ago

Honest question: Why are so many people lying about weird and unimportant stuff? Being on the spectrum, I tend to tell the truth more often (or more bluntly) than acceptable; I have a very hard time understanding this concept of making things up for fun, to get an advantage or to fool somebody. I am absolute shįt at telling lies! I can understand if you lie in order not to be punished/hurt/harmed in any way, yes, yes of course - but inventing a whole different heritage? In order to weasle my way into a group of people, knowing full well that they bond over their Filipino heritage that I do not share? Even learning the language, and then wondering why people no longer like me after coming clean? Sorry - stories like that fly right over my head...

2points

Kraneia The Dancing Dryad 1 year ago

Some of these are quite elaborate. My mom was sick a lot so I didn't want to bother her with having to sign off on schoolwork that I messed up on. So I made a homemade "autograph book" and had her sign it. I cut the signature out and glued it to the paper to be signed. It was not very convincing but no one ever mentioned it, so I guess teach didn't look too closely at it.

2points

Carole G. 1 year ago

Sis, on her third divorce but when she married #3 she didn't disclose on the marriage license that she had been married & divorced to husband #2. So in retrospect she's not really legally married to #3. #3 has no idea there was a #2, anyway I don't know if they really need to do the whole divorce thing, as I'm not sure they're even married! 🤣🤣🤣

1point

Icecream Sarang 1 year ago

Everyone thinks my husband and I got married this past year. We actually married in 2018, three months into our relationship.

1point

Alexandra Prytkova 1 year ago

OK, so in middle school we were given books to read at home and our parents had to sign a fn reading card with the amount of pages red per day. The first time it happened, I read the whole 60p book in one evening (the normal amount of pages I red per day at that time was above 200 - I was addicted to books). My mother signed the card, no problem. Then I came in for class and the teacher yelled at me for trying fraudulent behaviour. She thought I had signed off as my mother, so as not to read the book. I was so offended, I didn't argue. I just spent years signing for my parents several pages at a time, for it to appear that I read at a "normal" pace. Yes, I actually forged their signature to make my teachers believe I was a slow reader. For years.

0points

A Jones 1 year ago

My entire childhood I lied about broken family and where my bruises came from. Had to say “I was just accident prone”. Was also told by my folks about the horrors of foster homes as a horrid scare tactic. Don’t pity me, just help me with aiding in abolishing corporeal punishment.

0points

Allen Packard 1 year ago

Some of those would be tough! Nice article and read, thank you!

0points

POST

Tenacious Squirrel 1 year ago

18points

Marla 1 year ago

That's horrible parenting and you deserved far better

1point

Adam L 1 year ago

6points

OmBoyGanesh 1 year ago (edited)

5points

Unpopular opinions 1 year ago

Society would be a lot better if people told the truth.

3points

Tamra 1 year ago

Except when I ask if these jeans make my a*s look fat. Then lie to me. Lie, lie, lie.

1point