"A slap isnt a defense" in what world does that logic apply??? She was hit, hitting back is a very basic response to it. Not the best and most mature, but a very normal, human, violent or not. Fight flight or freeze. Without training doing one of those in response to a threat. I don't think grandma has taken any kind of self defense classes to help control that biochemical response. Her brain chose fight in response to being assaulted. Anyone saying she's violent for that is insane.

She could call police and report the assault. Too many young kids turn to violence. Get this stopped before he does something worse.

When you assault someone you assault the relationship. If you do not face consequences, show remorse, and make amends, the relationship stays battered. This child is old enough to know what he did was wrong; he has done nothing constructive to fix the damage and continues to act with hostility. Grandma giving him any sort of gift tells him that everything is fine and that he has nothing to fix. It teaches him that his victims do not have dignity and, in fact, will reward him and show him deference. He needs serious help and the family should be consistent in how they show him actions have consequences.

Have the parents done anything like put him in therapy? It’s obvious the kid has some major anger management problems

Aww. Poor violent baby needs a gift.

Kid needs seriously therapy. I say that as somebody who has had a lot of therapy. The reaction like "seeing a red rag" sounds like a trigger. I would guess that there's been a lot of not-great stuff in this kid's life already, and if he's like this at 14, he needs to have his path rerouted ASAP. If he carries this kind of behavior into his adult life, he's gonna end up in prison. (I have to say that I am also wary of his parents. They didn't make him apologize, which indicates not the BEST parenting skills, and it's a reasonable guess that they MAY be the ultimate cause of his emotional trauma and lashing out.)

Grandma you do not be alone with him. His parents need to get him help. Experienced at what he did to you. Be afraid very afraid

This 14 year old punched his grandmother. The birthday gift is a red herring. This kid needs intensive professional help today. I’m willing to bet she’s not the first person he’s hit.

NTA. He is 14 not 4 like someone else had commented, he should definitely know better. If one of my nephews hit me intentionally, my first call would be to their parents, and tell to come get their kid ASAP and explain what happened, as far as a present ABSOLUTELY NOT actions have consequences! Birthday or not, I'm not going to reward bad behavior especially violence! The 8 year old I might handle it different but at 14 he ABSOLUTELY should know better

Nope. Don't need to get a gift. A card would be nice, but I wouldn't do more than that.

That one time I made the gesture of spitting towards my maternal grandmother (who was a narcissist b!). My other grandma tapped on my mouth before sitting me down in private to berate me "Show some respect!" She said. I told her that I couldn't, wouldn't respect someone like her. And she told me smthg that stayed stick in my head until adulthood: "not for her. Show some respect for yourself! You will NOT behave so crass."

If parents won't do anything about the kid punching his grandmother he'll be in juvenile detention pretty soon for hitting someone else who didn't let him get away with it.

What a strange question! Why would you buy someone a gift who punched you?

The comment here about grandma not being able to control her self is straight comedy. If "dad" was punched in the stomach, the 14 yo would be black and blue and living in his room with water and vitamin supplements for a week.

Let's see...a 14YO punk SLUGS an old woman in the stomach. Said old woman instinctively SLAPS him back. And there are YOHAS saying "Ooo! You should Never hit a CHILD!" REALITY CHECK ✔️ FOLKS! This is DANGEROUS Behavior that will escalate. There is no way a grandmother can (OR SHOULD NEED TO) defend herself against a 14Yo, full functioning half grown boy. And for those Enabling Females who simper "You'ld never hit My baby again!" MAY YOU REAP DIRECTLY WHAT YOU HAVE SOW!

NO gifts at all, for any occasion. Period!!! Until he gives a heart felt apology. Not just a weak "I'm sorry", but complete evidence that his attitude is continuing to improveing.

Grandmother doesn't mention her age, however, as I understand it, assaulting a person over age 65 is a felony. I would not tolerate that kiddo who is probably a Bully in school too. He is in dire need of therapy. So are the enablers masquerading as parents.

You could add to the bail bond fund he's going to need. First off, striking your mamaw should never even cross your mind, ever. Secondly, I don't think if I had that I would be alive right now.

Those people going on how she hit the child blah blah AND?! He punched her in the stomach! I'd have punched him in the nose!

I don't waste my time or money on rabid dogs, why would I waste anything on a rabid kid?