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“So Angry I’m Shaking”: Woman In Disbelief After Grandparents Leave Her 4YO Home Alone
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“So Angry I’m Shaking”: Woman In Disbelief After Grandparents Leave Her 4YO Home Alone

Interview With Expert “So Angry I’m Shaking”: Woman In Disbelief After Grandparents Leave Her 4YO Home AloneGrandparents Leave 4YO Home Alone Because He Refuses To Put On His Shoes, Don’t See The Problem“I’m Just Baffled”: Mom Is At A Loss When She Finds Out She Can’t Trust Her Parents With Her 4YOGrandparents Leave 4-Year-Old Alone At Home Because “He Wouldn’t Put On His Shoes”Grandparents Leave 4-Year-Old Alone, Act Like It’s No Big Deal: Woman Has To Threaten Parents With Police To Make Them Return Home To Her 4YO Son They Left AloneGrandparents Decide To Leave 4YO Alone, Mom Freaks Out:
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You might remember the classic ’90s blockbuster, Home Alone. 8-year-old Kevin (played by Macaulay Culkin) is left behind when his family rushes off to a vacation abroad and boards the plane without him. The child is left to fend – and literally fight – for himself when two thieves decide to break into the house.

While the movie was filled with a laugh a minute, it’s important to remember, it was just that. A fictional film. Made-up stuff produced purely for entertainment purposes. There is nothing funny about leaving a young child alone at home for days on end, ya filthy animal!

So when one woman heard that her parents had left her 4-year-old unattended in their house because they didn’t want to wait for him to put his shoes on, she completely lost it. But the grandparents still don’t see any issue with their actions. The mom is now considering calling the police but isn’t sure if she should. Bored Panda spoke to renowned clinical psychologist and best-selling author Dr. Sheryl Ziegler for her expert take on the matter.

RELATED:

    Looking after a child, for any length of time, is a big responsibility and one that shouldn’t be taken lightly

    Image credits: Mikhail Nilov / Pexels (not the actual photo)

    One woman thought her 4-year-old child was safe with his grandparents, until she found out they’d left him home alone

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    Image credits: Drazen Zigic / Freepik (not the actual photo)

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    Image credits: INeedCoffee101

    Image credits: Juan Pablo Serrano / Pexels (not the actual photo)

    “She should not have left her child with them in the first place”: a child psychologist’s opinion 

    It’s safe to say that many 4-year-olds wouldn’t be able to cope solo in the event of an emergency. Life is not a Home Alone movie, and a young child generally doesn’t have the ability to defend themselves against a criminal, to handle falling down the stairs, getting burned on the stove, or getting lost after running out of the (unlocked) front door to look for their caregivers.

    Those are just a few of many things that could go wrong. Not to mention the fact that some young children are terrified of being without their parents or other familiar people. Many experts agree that children under the age of 8 shouldn’t be left alone, even for short periods of time. Under age 8 is not recognized as safe, says clinical psychologist and best-selling author Dr. Sheryl Ziegler.

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    Ziegler is an expert when it comes to child psychology and parenting. Her new book The Crucial Years is being released soon. It’s an “Essential Guide To Mental Health And Modern Puberty In Middle Childhood (Ages 6-12)”. She’s also the podcast host of Dr. Sheryl’s PodCouch, so we were thrilled when she agreed to chat to Bored Panda about the mom’s predicament.

    Ziegler warns that a 4-year-old is definitely not equipped to be left alone. “They are not emotionally, cognitively or even physically ready or mature enough to deal with all of the things that could happen,” she told us. In her opinion, the mom could have avoided this entire situation.

    “[She] states that they are toxic parents who she wants to cut off ties with – she should not have left her child with them in the first place,” said the expert. “They clearly had no control over this 4-year-old or regard for his safety and well being and should likely only have supervised, monitored, family visitation.”

    Ziegler has this advice for the mother, “If they are toxic and dysfunctional to you, that is enough for you to need to protect your child from them. This is an unhealthy dynamic that could emotionally and physically harm your child.”

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    She adds that if the mom and grandparents want to work on repairing their relationship they should consider professional support and intervention.

    We asked Ziegler how else the grandparents could have dealt with the child not wanting to put on his shoes. “First try to understand why the resistance, maybe pack a snack, give them something to control, make sure they have a transitional object like a blanket, make it fun like a race to see who can get in the car first, count them down and then have a logical/natural consequence, stay calm and if you really need to go pick them up safely and put them in the car with no shoes on – just bring the shoes!”

    The American Academy of Pediatrics also recommends that parents wait until their child is at least 12 years old before taking a chance at leaving them alone at home. But the right age will vary from family to family, depending on the maturity of the child, where you live, whether you have a support network close to home, and how far away you will be.

    While being alone at home can be an opportunity for children and youth to develop their confidence, independence, and sense of responsibility, it can only work if the child has the necessary skills and maturity to handle staying home alone safely.

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    Some states and countries even have laws dealing with what age a child can be left unattended. Minimum ages range from 8 to 14 years old. You can be charged with child neglect for breaking these laws. And you’ll be hit with further charges should something happen to your child while you’re not there.

    “Many States’ child protection laws classify ‘failing to provide adequate supervision of a child’ as child neglect,” reads this U.S. Government Child Welfare Fact Sheet. It goes on to explain that in some states, “leaving a child without supervision at an inappropriate age or in inappropriate circumstances may be considered neglect after considering factors that may put the child at risk of harm.”

    Image credits: MART PRODUCTION / Pexels (not the actual photo)

    People have gone to jail for leaving children home alone

    In January, a woman was jailed for 10 years after her four sons died in a house fire while she was out shopping. Deveca Rose’s two sets of twins, aged 3 and 4, were unable to escape the locked house when the fire ripped through it in 2021. Their bodies were found under a bed.

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    The 30-year-old mom was found guilty of four counts of manslaughter in a British court. Besides spending the next decade behind bars, she will have to live the rest of her life knowing her children might still be alive had she not left them alone.

    Just this week, a 2-year-old girl was found dead under a dresser in Indiana, U.S.A. Her 33-year-old mother is behind bars awaiting trial. It is alleged Chantell Gardner would leave her two young children alone at home for hours on end, coming home briefly once a day to feed them. She is facing a charge of child neglect causing death.

    While these are extreme and very sad cases, they illustrate just how wrong things can go when adults don’t take their roles as caregivers seriously.

    Shocked netizens shared their thoughts, with many advising the mom never to leave her son with his grandparents again

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    Some parents shared similar scary stories of how their children had been left alone

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    Poll Question

    How do you feel about the grandparents leaving the 4-year-old home alone for half an hour?

    It's unacceptable and dangerous

    It's a mistake but understandable

    They should have handled it differently

    They did nothing wrong

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    Robyn Smith

    Robyn Smith

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    Robyn is an award-winning journalist who has produced work for several international media outlets. Made in Africa and exported to the world, she is obsessed with travel and the allure of new places. A lover of words and visuals, Robyn is part of the Bored Panda writing team. This Panda has two bamboo tattoos: A map of Africa & the words "Be Like The Bamboo... Bend Never Break."

    Read less »
    Robyn Smith

    Robyn Smith

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Robyn is an award-winning journalist who has produced work for several international media outlets. Made in Africa and exported to the world, she is obsessed with travel and the allure of new places. A lover of words and visuals, Robyn is part of the Bored Panda writing team. This Panda has two bamboo tattoos: A map of Africa & the words "Be Like The Bamboo... Bend Never Break."

    Indrė Lukošiūtė

    Indrė Lukošiūtė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

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    I am a Visual editor at Bored Panda, I'm determined to find the most interesting and the best quality images for each post that I do. On my free time I like to unwind by doing some yoga, watching all kinds of movies/tv shows, playing video and board games or just simply hanging out with my cat

    Read less »

    Indrė Lukošiūtė

    Indrė Lukošiūtė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    I am a Visual editor at Bored Panda, I'm determined to find the most interesting and the best quality images for each post that I do. On my free time I like to unwind by doing some yoga, watching all kinds of movies/tv shows, playing video and board games or just simply hanging out with my cat

    What do you think ?
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    Tamra
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She admits they have always been toxic parents, so why the hell would she allow her child regular overnight stays in the first place?

    CP
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Because they are still your parents. It isn't always easy to cut off family.

    Load More Replies...
    painttheyellowsubgreen
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You can't leave a 4yr old home alone. Full stop. 5 minutes is long enough for a child to die. Her parents are 100% wrong. But OP needs to take a small amount of responsibility for this. She knows her parents are toxic, and has wanted to go NC. Why would you leave your child with people you don't want in your life? Nobody randomly decides that they want to go NC with family for the fun of it. How many times have they left him alone that she doesn't know about? Her excuse is culture. I don't think that is going to help her sleep at night if something happens to her son when he's with them. She can cling to culture, or she can have a safe child. But apparently she can't have both.

    Tyke
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So in OP's culture you can't really go NC but you can call the police on your parents? Leaving a 4 year old alone is definitely not right, fûck culture and just go NC.

    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Like me she’s in uk n sod culture it’s taken very seriously here they don’t give a rats a**e bout culture if a child is in danger which with them toxic scum he is right

    Load More Comments
    Tamra
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She admits they have always been toxic parents, so why the hell would she allow her child regular overnight stays in the first place?

    CP
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Because they are still your parents. It isn't always easy to cut off family.

    Load More Replies...
    painttheyellowsubgreen
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You can't leave a 4yr old home alone. Full stop. 5 minutes is long enough for a child to die. Her parents are 100% wrong. But OP needs to take a small amount of responsibility for this. She knows her parents are toxic, and has wanted to go NC. Why would you leave your child with people you don't want in your life? Nobody randomly decides that they want to go NC with family for the fun of it. How many times have they left him alone that she doesn't know about? Her excuse is culture. I don't think that is going to help her sleep at night if something happens to her son when he's with them. She can cling to culture, or she can have a safe child. But apparently she can't have both.

    Tyke
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So in OP's culture you can't really go NC but you can call the police on your parents? Leaving a 4 year old alone is definitely not right, fûck culture and just go NC.

    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Like me she’s in uk n sod culture it’s taken very seriously here they don’t give a rats a**e bout culture if a child is in danger which with them toxic scum he is right

    Load More Comments
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