Losing a loved one is devastating enough, but what happens when family members decide that’s the moment they want to get certain things from you?

Today’s Original Poster (OP) found herself caught between protecting her children’s future and appeasing her in-laws who requested that a portion of the life insurance money he left for her and the kids be given to his grandparents.

More info: Reddit

Sometimes, it feels like certain people only show up when there’s something to gain, whether it’s money, favors, or just a piece of the pie

Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

The author lost her husband and is left with her two kids, but he’d had life insurance that left them with a significant amount of money

Image credits: Dizzy_Guarantee249

Image credits: lazy_bear / Freepik (not the actual photo)

After some time, her in-laws approached her with a request to give some of the money to her late husband’s grandparents

Image credits: Dizzy_Guarantee249

However, she never had a close relationship with them, so she refused and maintained the money was reserved for her and her kids

The OP lost her husband suddenly last year, leaving her to care for their two young children. Thankfully, her husband had a life insurance policy that provided financial security for the family, ensuring she could take care of their kids without immediate financial strain.

A few months after the loss, her in-laws approached her with a request. They wanted her to give a portion of the life insurance money to her late husband’s grandparents. According to them, the elderly couple was struggling financially, and they believed her husband would have wanted to help them.

However, the OP wasn’t convinced, especially since these grandparents had never played an active role in their lives. They hadn’t been present for their wedding, and they didn’t make any effort to be in the lives of their grandchildren either.

Despite her reservations, the OP faced increasing pressure from her mother-in-law, who accused her of being selfish. But from the OP’s perspective, the money was meant for her children’s education, their future stability, and ensuring they were taken care of after losing their father.

Image credits: prostock-studio / Freepik (not the actual photo)

To gain insight into the main purpose of a life insurance payout and the importance of financial boundaries, Bored Panda reached out to financial expert Tofunmi Adeoye, who explained that the primary goal of such insurance payouts is to provide financial stability for those left behind.

“The main purpose of a life insurance payout is to offer assistance to the beneficiaries, allowing them to cover living costs, debts, and other financial obligations,” she stated, emphasizing that these funds are crucial during a difficult time of loss.

We followed up by asking how one can decline family requests for money without damaging relationships. “It’s important to be clear yet considerate,” she responded, suggesting that politely explaining the situation and offering alternatives, like financial resources, can help. She also stressed the value of providing emotional support in order to maintain positive relationships while setting clear financial boundaries.

When we asked how to balance financial security with generosity, Adeoye recommended following a disciplined approach. “Start with a solid budget and stick to it,” she explained, advising allocating 50% of income to necessities, 30% to discretionary spending, and 20% to savings and giving.

Netizens sided with the widow, asserting that she is not in the wrong for prioritizing her children’s future over her in-laws’ financial request. They also pointed out that the life insurance was clearly meant for her and her kids, emphasizing the long-term needs she must consider. Many criticized the in-laws for their obvious opportunism, especially given their past lack of involvement in the family.

What would you do if you were in the OP’s shoes? Would you share the life insurance payout with your in-laws? We would love to hear your thoughts!

The author’s mother-in-law called her selfish, but netizens strongly disagree with that

Image credits: senivpetro / Freepik (not the actual photo)

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