Woman Stops Talking To Mom Who Chose To Babysit Her Grandson Instead Of Watching Her Dogs
There’s almost nothing more exciting for older parents than finally becoming grandparents. After years of having an empty nest and nobody at home to spoil, having a baby in the family is a huge thrill. But when one mother decided to prioritize her infant grandson over the two dogs she had been watching for years, her daughter did not take the news well.
Below, you’ll find a story that this mom posted on the “Am I the [Jerk]?” subreddit to find out if she was in the wrong for choosing to watch her grandson instead of her grand-dogs. Keep reading to find all of the details, as well as some of the replies readers shared.
It’s extremely exciting for parents to finally become grandparents
Image credits: Image-Source / envatoelements (not the actual photo)
But when this mom decided to start watching her grandson instead of her daughter’s dogs, she found herself getting the silent treatment
Image credits: Gerain0812 / envatoelements (not the actual photo)
Image credits: WhoToWatch01
Pet care costs less than child care, but it can still become expensive quickly
Image credits: MART PRODUCTION / pexels (not the actual photo)
Having a dog is obviously not the same amount of responsibility as having a human child. However, there are many aspects of having both that overlap. They can’t be left alone until they’ve reached a certain age (and even then, not for too long), and if you’re going to be away for a while, it’s important to hire someone to watch over them.
But it can be difficult to find someone that you trust to look after child or fur baby, as you want to make sure that whoever’s taking care of them loves them almost as much as you do. And of course, quality child (or pet) care can cost a fortune.
According to TrustedCare, the average cost for childcare in the United States is $400 to $1,500 every month. But it can be even more expensive for infants, starting at $650 per month. And if you’re looking at having a full-time nanny, that can set you back $4,300 every month.
There’s no doubt that having kids is more expensive than having pets, as the average child costs their parents between $16,227 and $18,262 every year while owning a dog costs between $1,000 to $5,225 annually. But it’s still not cheap to make sure that your precious pup is well cared for and looked after while you’re not around.
Pet sitters often charge about $100 per day
Image credits: Blue Bird / pexels (not the actual photo)
Paws At Home reports that professional pet sisters for dogs often charge between $23 to $28 for a mere 15-minute visit. And if you’d like them to stay for an hour, it’s probably going to cost closer to $45. For the entire day, you might have to pay $85 to $90, and if you want them to check-in with your pets four times a day, you could easily spend over $100 each day.
The responsibilities of a pet sitter are going to be similar to those of a babysitter watching a child. It’s important to ensure that the animal is safe and well cared for, has plenty of food and water, has playtime, has someone to clean up after them and has someone around to keep them company. And just like with your children, you’re not going to want just anyone watching your pets.
When it comes to choosing the right pet sitter for your beloved animals, Pet Harmony recommends first considering their experience, specifically with the type of pet that you have. If they’ve watched a hundred cats before but have never had to look after a puppy, they might not be the right fit for your 4-month old beagle.
It’s also wise to have them over for a supervised visit with your pet before you hand over the keys. Watch their behavior, and allow your pet the opportunity to get comfortable with them while you’re around.
It’s important to find a trusted pet sitter that makes you and your furry friend feel comfortable
Image credits: Charles Roth / pexels (not the actual photo)
As far as why it’s so important for your beloved pets to be looked after by a trusted sitter, the pet sitting platform Scout explains on their site that reliability is key when finding someone to watch our furry family members. You and your pet should both feel comfortable knowing that your sitter will always be there when you need them and provide the love and care that your pet needs.
Consistency also helps our pets trust their sitters, so it’s important for them to be with the same sitter over and over again to build a relationship with them. Just like kids, our pets crave consistency and structure. This can bring peace of mind to both owners and pets, as they always know what to expect when they’re not able to be together.
Dogs are highly intelligent and sensitive creatures, and they can quickly become stressed out in unfamiliar environments or around humans that they don’t know or trust. So it’s understandable that dog parents might not be thrilled about having to find new care, especially care that they suddenly have to pay for.
But is it fair for this grandmother to prioritize her daughter’s son over her other daughter’s dogs? We would love to hear your thoughts down below, pandas. Then, if you’re interested in reading another piece discussing family drama surrounding pets, we recommend checking out this one next!
Many readers assured the mother that she wasn’t wrong, but some still explained why her daughter might be so upset
However, some took the daughter’s side and agreed that the mother was being unfair
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It smells like that. The way one sister made a very specific rule that obvs affected the other and how the dog owner flipped.
Load More Replies...I don't get it. When daughter is in town, aren't the dogs alone in her house while she's at work? Aren't they okay by themselves then? So what is different when she's out of town? Grandma can watch the baby during the day, then the dogs at night. She can let them out to do their business and exercise, then feed them. She can either stay there or go back home until the next evening. Sorry, but one daughter's had 3 years of free dog care. It's the other daughter's turn now. In the long run, it's GRANDMA'S life! If she wants to cuddle with her first grandchild now, it's HER DECISION!!!
The problem isn't giving up free help for one to give to the other. It's putting the needs of one daughter over the needs of the other. From the outside, it feels like just free help. From the inside it's playing favorites with her daughters' needs.
Load More Replies...To be fair, this woman offered to watch her grandchild. She WANTS to watch the baby.
Load More Replies...I don't like the part ...these are the rules they gave me in order to let me watch my grandson. I think that is overstepping. I have watched all my grandchildren in my home for the last 14 years. I have never been given any rules. At that point I would say take him to daycare. I also have a dog. The kids love her.
Absolutely overstepping. If my kids came to me and said I want you to do me a favor.. provide child care for free, in your home, and then I will dictate the rules to you... GTFO. No. Especially not when your arbitrary rules impact another one of my children who I've already made a commitment to. You want free child care from me? Here are my rules...
Load More Replies...The YTA people are just crazy. How someone chooses to spend their time is their business. Nobody has the right to expect them to do anything for them (school age children and maybe partner excepted). That covers both her daughters, not just the one with the dogs. But who the hell equivalences looking after dogs with looking after a grandchild???? No sane person would think of the dogs first for a heartbeat.
It isn't dog vs baby, its daughter vs daughter. Doggy day care is wicked expensive, just like childcare. I agree with the one that said you had 9 months to discuss this and work something out. The only reason the sis with a kid didn't, sibling rivalry. She wanted to stick it to her sister. After watching my large family of aunts and uncles pull this c**p, becomes super easy to spot.
Load More Replies...I think the AH is the sister who knew damn well what she was doing when she made the "no animals" rule. I was a baby with two dogs and a cat in the house and I obviously lived to tell the tale. Would it be difficult to section off part of the living room for the safety of the baby/comfort of his parents while also continuing to watch the dogs? Also I agree theres definitely some sibling rivalry here.
I live in a city with 5 hospitals, just one of them had over 100 children admitted with dog bites last year. Then there's 4 other hospitals they may have been admitted to. You have a case of survivor bias.
Load More Replies...This reminds me of one of those "you have flowers, a goat, and a wolf, and need to cross a river" problems. How about Grandma brings the dogs to Mom's house where they chill in a crate for the day and picks up baby. Then drop baby off at the end of the day, grab the dogs for the remainder of the day/night. Dogs and baby are never in the same place, everyone is happy. Fr, though, don't get pets if you won't be around to take care of them. It also isn't cool if Grandma told sister she'd help take care of the dogs when sister got them (as one of the comments makes it sound) and then went back on it.
Don't have a baby if you're not around to care for them - works both ways no?
Load More Replies...I don't think either daughter should EXPECT free care, dog or human, but I think there is more to why the daughter with the dogs "flipped out". OP doesn't speak nearly as highly of this daughter as she does the one with a child. Something tells me that happens a lot, and the daughter with the dogs seems to take second place to her sister. Just look at the way mom described their lives, one she talks about more negatively than the other. It's clear daughter with the kid knew she'd be chosen. If I were the daughter with the dogs I'd be mad too, and not because "no more free dog care" but because it's one more instance where I am thought of as lesser than compared to my sister. Yes human child will, usually, trump the dogs, but if the way OP speaks about her kids is any indicator, it goes way deeper than that. She's the AH for the differences in the way she treats them/talks about them, NOT because she chose one over the other for care duty.
Or maybe the daughter with the dogs is always asking for favours, and the mother offered this for the other daughter because they never ask for anything. There's not enough back story to make assumptions like that.
Load More Replies...I don't understand why people are saying the daughter should not have dogs if she travel for work every week. She may have had the dogs way before she had the job. Was she supposed to abandon them ? As for chosing another job, you don't always have the luxury of choice. As for the other daughter and SIL, they made that rule knowing the impact it would have, and the mom made her choice. No sympathy from me.
On the other hand, the sister with the dogs got three years of free dog sitting, so it's only fair that the other sister gets a few years of babysitting. And it sounds like the dogs are a big boisterous, so may not be safe to be around a baby with only the grandmother there.
Load More Replies...It smells like that. The way one sister made a very specific rule that obvs affected the other and how the dog owner flipped.
Load More Replies...I don't get it. When daughter is in town, aren't the dogs alone in her house while she's at work? Aren't they okay by themselves then? So what is different when she's out of town? Grandma can watch the baby during the day, then the dogs at night. She can let them out to do their business and exercise, then feed them. She can either stay there or go back home until the next evening. Sorry, but one daughter's had 3 years of free dog care. It's the other daughter's turn now. In the long run, it's GRANDMA'S life! If she wants to cuddle with her first grandchild now, it's HER DECISION!!!
The problem isn't giving up free help for one to give to the other. It's putting the needs of one daughter over the needs of the other. From the outside, it feels like just free help. From the inside it's playing favorites with her daughters' needs.
Load More Replies...To be fair, this woman offered to watch her grandchild. She WANTS to watch the baby.
Load More Replies...I don't like the part ...these are the rules they gave me in order to let me watch my grandson. I think that is overstepping. I have watched all my grandchildren in my home for the last 14 years. I have never been given any rules. At that point I would say take him to daycare. I also have a dog. The kids love her.
Absolutely overstepping. If my kids came to me and said I want you to do me a favor.. provide child care for free, in your home, and then I will dictate the rules to you... GTFO. No. Especially not when your arbitrary rules impact another one of my children who I've already made a commitment to. You want free child care from me? Here are my rules...
Load More Replies...The YTA people are just crazy. How someone chooses to spend their time is their business. Nobody has the right to expect them to do anything for them (school age children and maybe partner excepted). That covers both her daughters, not just the one with the dogs. But who the hell equivalences looking after dogs with looking after a grandchild???? No sane person would think of the dogs first for a heartbeat.
It isn't dog vs baby, its daughter vs daughter. Doggy day care is wicked expensive, just like childcare. I agree with the one that said you had 9 months to discuss this and work something out. The only reason the sis with a kid didn't, sibling rivalry. She wanted to stick it to her sister. After watching my large family of aunts and uncles pull this c**p, becomes super easy to spot.
Load More Replies...I think the AH is the sister who knew damn well what she was doing when she made the "no animals" rule. I was a baby with two dogs and a cat in the house and I obviously lived to tell the tale. Would it be difficult to section off part of the living room for the safety of the baby/comfort of his parents while also continuing to watch the dogs? Also I agree theres definitely some sibling rivalry here.
I live in a city with 5 hospitals, just one of them had over 100 children admitted with dog bites last year. Then there's 4 other hospitals they may have been admitted to. You have a case of survivor bias.
Load More Replies...This reminds me of one of those "you have flowers, a goat, and a wolf, and need to cross a river" problems. How about Grandma brings the dogs to Mom's house where they chill in a crate for the day and picks up baby. Then drop baby off at the end of the day, grab the dogs for the remainder of the day/night. Dogs and baby are never in the same place, everyone is happy. Fr, though, don't get pets if you won't be around to take care of them. It also isn't cool if Grandma told sister she'd help take care of the dogs when sister got them (as one of the comments makes it sound) and then went back on it.
Don't have a baby if you're not around to care for them - works both ways no?
Load More Replies...I don't think either daughter should EXPECT free care, dog or human, but I think there is more to why the daughter with the dogs "flipped out". OP doesn't speak nearly as highly of this daughter as she does the one with a child. Something tells me that happens a lot, and the daughter with the dogs seems to take second place to her sister. Just look at the way mom described their lives, one she talks about more negatively than the other. It's clear daughter with the kid knew she'd be chosen. If I were the daughter with the dogs I'd be mad too, and not because "no more free dog care" but because it's one more instance where I am thought of as lesser than compared to my sister. Yes human child will, usually, trump the dogs, but if the way OP speaks about her kids is any indicator, it goes way deeper than that. She's the AH for the differences in the way she treats them/talks about them, NOT because she chose one over the other for care duty.
Or maybe the daughter with the dogs is always asking for favours, and the mother offered this for the other daughter because they never ask for anything. There's not enough back story to make assumptions like that.
Load More Replies...I don't understand why people are saying the daughter should not have dogs if she travel for work every week. She may have had the dogs way before she had the job. Was she supposed to abandon them ? As for chosing another job, you don't always have the luxury of choice. As for the other daughter and SIL, they made that rule knowing the impact it would have, and the mom made her choice. No sympathy from me.
On the other hand, the sister with the dogs got three years of free dog sitting, so it's only fair that the other sister gets a few years of babysitting. And it sounds like the dogs are a big boisterous, so may not be safe to be around a baby with only the grandmother there.
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