Grandma Goes Viral For Her Savage Grandkid Ranking System, Divides The Internet
Grandparents are a treasure. Full of insights, stories of what the past was like, and drawers full of sweets or gifts to spoil you with—shhh, it’s a secret okay, don’t tell your parents *wink wink*! They pull on your cheeks, asking how you got that big, while simultaneously preparing to stuff you full of food.
At Bored Panda, we love stories about grandparents, especially when they’re as sassy as this little grandma here. Instead of hiding away her favorite grandkids, she flaunts them to everyone that enters her home. A small ranking board with magnetic pictures of her grandbabies hangs proudly, the kids “competing” for number one.
Before you get ahead of yourself, dear Panda, this is all a joke and made for good family fun! Although we will discuss the potential negative sides of this, too! So strap on in, it’s gonna be an exciting one!
Mary LaMorte, also known as Nanny, has gone viral for being the sassiest grandma, “ranking” her 10 grandkids with a ranking board hanging on her wall
Image credits: WGN News
If you have siblings or close cousins, you know that it doesn’t matter when the grown-ups say that they love you all equally—you need to be number one bestest. But this one grandma made it very easy to see who’s the best grandkid on the block.
Mary LaMorte, also known as Nanny, from New Jersey has gone viral on social media after one of her grandsons, named Dan LaMorte, shared her fabulously savage grandkid ranking board on TikTok. The hilarious wooden plaque, with ‘Family’ written in cursive on top, has 10 magnetic pictures lined in order of Nanny’s favorites.
Back in 2015, some of the grandkids gifted the board to her as a joke, adding 10 magnetic pictures of them all for her to play around with
Image credits: danlamorte
Dan, a New York City-based comedian, shared in the now-viral TikTok video that the rating depends on their behavior and actions. The 27-year-old was very proud of his number 4 spot, but he felt in his gut that he wouldn’t stay up there long after he showed Nanny the results of his last stunt.
“This is my grandma’s ranking board,” Dan said in the video. “She has a wooden board where she ranks the grandchildren from one to 10, all of our faces on magnets. I’m No. 4, the highest I’ve ever been, but I did just get two new tattoos though, so I am a bit nervous about what that’s going to do for my ranking.”
Mary’s 27-year-old grandson Dan posted a video on TikTok explaining how the board worked, proudly announcing that he held the coveted 4th spot
Image credits: danlamorte
He then asked his grandma to come over. He lifted up the sleeve of his shirt to show off two new black and white American traditional tattoos—nice choice, by the way—but Nanny didn’t seem to be a fan; maybe she prefers the traditional colorscape of American traditional tattoos.
Mary gasped in horror, shaking her hand at the display before heading to Dan’s picture on the ranking board and, without hesitation, shoving his head onto the number 10 spot. “This is what I think of your new tattoos,” she is heard saying in the video. We’re sure it made a little crack in Dan’s heart to have that happen.
Don’t worry, Dan! My grandma also hated my ink at first! It seems to have grown on her, but she still asks me to not get any more. Oh, small update—big thank you to all those who wished my grandma all the best in the previous article; she’s doing a lot better now!
However, Dan decided to get some tattoos, which got him worried for his ranking, as grandma “promoted” or “demoted” the kids for their actions and behavior
Image credits: danlamorte
Before you start feeling too bad for Dan, you must realize that this kind of humor has been ingrained in the family for generations, and it’s all just good fun! Dan and Nanny told Fox News that this all started as a joke gift back in 2015.
“My grandson, Christopher, and his girlfriend… they made it, and they brought it over to us,” Mary said. “They had all the cousins’ names and pictures, and so we hung it up in our house.” “It was always an inside joke that there were favorites in the family,” Dan chimed in. “So, that’s how the board was made.”
Well, Nanny very much disagreed with said body art, dropping Dan to 10th place instantly. Sorry, Dan, tattoos look great tho!
Image credits: danlamorte
Nanny continued to explain that her rankings are based on different milestones and behaviors, including having babies and coming to visit her—or not visiting and calling her often enough. “My grandson just had a new baby, so he goes to the top because it’s a very good, happy moment,” she said. “And I’m not going to even get into demotions. Tattoos? That’ll do it every time.”
Meanwhile, Dan revealed that the top two spots are “pretty locked in” by one cousin who is a veterinarian and another who is a dentist. “It’s definitely a way to keep everyone together, and it gets us all talking. I was very lucky with four funny grandparents who are all still alive. I always grew up with someone telling jokes—and Nanny would always tell you never to take yourself too seriously.”
However, they will not be adding any great-grandkids into the race. “We don’t put them on the board because we’re scared they [might] get ranked above us,” Dan laughed. “They’re younger and cuter, and they haven’t messed up as much. We’ve always been a very jokey, roasty family.”
“We’ve always been a very jokey, roasty family,” Dan said. “It’s definitely a way to keep everyone together, and it gets us all talking”
Image credits: danlamorte
The short clip has been viewed over 2.2M times, with nearly 280k liking the post and hundreds leaving comments. “I feel like this is much better than my family’s method: we know there is a board, however no one knows their position until Christmas gifts go around,” said one. “Grandma is savage lol,” said another.
However, a lot of people took the ranking system way more seriously than anyone in the family expected. “And I thought my family was toxic…” one commented. “This seems darkly problematic,” said another. Lastly, a person added, “Bruh… how’s healing that childhood trauma going?”
It seems people didn’t realize this was a consensual gift from the grandkids to their grandma rather than it being Nanny’s way of judging and ranking her grandbabies unironically. Though the question of favoritism in families is an interesting one.
The TikTok video went viral, gathering over 2.2M views, but the family was surprised at how seriously the public took the ranking system
Image credits: danlamorte
Favoritism: the practice of giving unfair preferential treatment to one person or group at the expense of another. It’s something parents and grandparents tend to feel bad about. The feeling of guilt for liking one child more than the other weighs heavily on their hearts, yet should it? As long as kids or grandkids feel loved, seen, and appreciated, all is well and dandy!
Gransnet’s survey concluded that almost half of grandparents have a favorite grandchild. What was most important to the grandparents when choosing their favorites was their affection and love towards the elders, as well as their sense of humor and relatability.
Jeffrey Kluger, author of The Sibling Effect: What the Bonds Among Brothers and Sisters Reveal About Us, argues that favoritism is hardwired into our brains. “It is my belief that 95 percent of parents in the world have a favorite child, and the other five percent are lying,” he wrote.
As discussed in the Dera Design blog, adults who believed they were unfavored as children ended up with distant relationships with their guardians or a lack of a bond. Children are especially vulnerable to feeling unloved or unworthy of love, as favoritism and complex family dynamics are often outside the scope of their understanding. Hence why the situation with Dan and his grandma is so different—they understand the silliness of it and can agree that this doesn’t define them.
“I always grew up with someone telling jokes—and Nanny would always tell you never to take yourself too seriously,” Dan said. We wish the family all the best!
Image credits: danlamorte
At the end of the day, we all vibe with different kinds of people, and it goes the same with our family members. Just because they’re blood, doesn’t mean there’s gonna be much more to connect you otherwise, and it’s okay! Just treat one another with respect and love and it’ll get you far.
We wish Dan, his Nanny, and their whole family all the best and hope to see more of their adventures—and mayhaps a series of him trying to get to number 1—in the future!
You can watch the viral video here
@danlamorte My ranking on my grandma’s leaderboard after showing her my new tattoos 👵🏻❤️🩹😩 #savage #funnyvideo #family #familyvideo #funny #grandma #grandmavideo #lmfao #familything #familyfun #familyfeud #grandparents #tattoo #ranking #rankingstuff #funnygrandma #familycomedy #cousins #cousinsgoals ♬ original sound – Dan LaMorte
Let us know your thoughts in the comments below and share your family dynamics; would this kind of an idea work in your family setting?
Arrivederci for now!
Some people absolutely adored this little interaction, while others found it troubling. Let us know your thoughts; would this work in your family setting?
In the right family, this is hilarious. In another type of family, it is toxic. Regardless, it sis a great entry into those listicles like “ 45 Of The Funniest “My Family Is Weird” Stories”
In the 1970s, we had this "doghouse" on the wall in the kitchen. Anyone remember?? doghouse-6...063b44.jpg
As long as everyone knows it’s in good fun and is ok with it I see no problem
In the right family, this is hilarious. In another type of family, it is toxic. Regardless, it sis a great entry into those listicles like “ 45 Of The Funniest “My Family Is Weird” Stories”
In the 1970s, we had this "doghouse" on the wall in the kitchen. Anyone remember?? doghouse-6...063b44.jpg
As long as everyone knows it’s in good fun and is ok with it I see no problem
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