The daughter should probably stop having kids if she can't take care of them without her mom...

NTA. You don't want to take care of your children, then don't have children.

It is great for children to have grandparents, and it is great for grandparents to have grandchildren. It is nice if parents can rely on their own parents, and it is nice if parents know their children will call them when in need. But the grandparents' contribution should be no obligation – not from either side. The parents decide how much the grandparents can visit, and the grandparents decide if they visit! And the grandchildren just enjoy!

why have kids if you don't want or can't handle the responsibility?

Grandma paid her dues. She does not have to be anyone's babysitter.

Course she's pregnant again, and why not? Have all the fun without the chore of raising a kid. Theres a big parenting tip that lies within the old saying, "you've made your bed, so now lie in it."

well i can think its kinda hard to tell your children to go and take care of their children themselves. but its the right thing to do, you had your share on raising the first grandchild and how can they be so selfcentered to tell you to not move and enjoy your retirement. tell them to go be adults and take care of their kids themselves. its not grandma and pa job to help them have "easy" life by full time babysit the kids.

The parents should perhaps have set limits from the beginning? The daughter is used to it and of course did not expect it to ever end, which is immature and selfish, imho. Move away, enjoy your life, she will get over it. You have done more than enough. And no, it's NOT my parents' job to raise MY children.

After your 18 it's a gift and not a right that your parents help you. At that point they have done thier time and deserve to have lives of their own. Im very close with both my parents and aways respected their need for their own life when I was done being raised.

Why do people keep asking strangers to reinforce their belief in not being the asshole? I mean, likely they aren't - but each and every story of that kind is one-sided at best, we don't know the entire situation - unless someone truly is beyond and below their mind, demanding stuff like essential oils to be chosen over actual evidence-based medicine. Most times, even NTA are TA for asking. Of course, Grandma can retire, but what might possibly be relevant and unknown to the audience? Maybe, that knowledge would be a true gamechanger now and then...

The mistake was made early on in the daughters life and she was too enabled. It’s not the grandmas fault. It’s simply… lessons delayed in life.

Unfortunately the grandmother enabled her daughter and now has to cut the apron strings, but apparently now is that moment.

i'm 35 and have zero kids, couldn't imagine having grandkids at my age, but damn, rest up and enjoy, your daughter will have to raise her kids herself

the husband should quit his job to stay home and care for the three children he made. The grandmother should move and enjoy her life with her husband. She needn't explain or defend her decisions . The daughter and her husband should be more than grateful that grandma was willing to raise her other children. Time for the parents of the three children to actually act like parents. Think about your kids and stop being such self centered, spoiled nasty people.

I'm a grandma of 5 and couldn't imagine, (although would if it was needed), taking on one of my grandchildren basically full time. I believe it changes the dynamic of the relationship of grandchild and grandparent. It becomes a job, and resentment can build. The grandmother helped at a time in her daughters life when that help was needed. Now it's time for the daughter to grow up and think about the welfare of her mom and dad and their needs.

Caring for a child may not be a chore, but it hard work and a big responsibility. Retirement is a sensible option. Your daughter, on the other hand, is too young (and too pregnant) to retire.

The grandparents ( OP and hubby) should enjoy their life in what ever place they want. They have worked hard for so many years it is time to relax, socialize with people in their own age group if they want , instead of reading Green Eggs and Ham every night. Hope you have a long and happy life where ever you decide to move to. 😎🌵🏌️‍♂️🏄‍♀️🏊🚴🌴❤️

Sorry to say this but maybe you should have put you should have put your foot down before. In other words you raised two children (your kid and her kid). Maybe be you should have ingrained a little responsibility in your kid to raise her kid. What is the famous saying "JUST SAY NO" to your kid. Amen!

A perfect example of people who should not be having children at all. I hate to say but you taught her to be this way by raising the first child for her. I understand that she was very young, but it doesn’t seem to me like she took any responsibility for her actions. Naturally, now she thinks she owns you as her full time, free babysitters. She is nothing more than a spoiled brat. I won’t be surprised if she never lets you see the kids if you do move away. Your decision is very simple. Go live your life and let them take care of their responsibilities. It doesn’t seem like your daughter appreciates you even if you raise ten of her kids.

Daughter sounds brain-damaged. She chose to have the baby. HER actions, HER responsibility.

Well the grandparents have the right to live their own lives the way they want. Most likely the daughter got used to have someone take care of her child instead of her. She is probably afraid to deal with her life choices on her own. I am not defending her, just trying to understand. Best course of action is to just move the way grandparents want to and the daughter will adjust to the change and learn to take care of herself.

You give birth. You take care of it. End of the conversation. If you don't want to take care of a child, don't have one. Abortion is an option. Otherwise do your job and be a parent. Getting help from family and friends is great but they are not responsible for raising your child. They have their own lives.

i remember my mums mum looking after us while she worked or went away for the weekend but never my dads mum , is it different rules or something ? i can't wait too look after my gran kids , my daughters have no plans as yet but you never know

Not so selfish as hinted at. We left our kids just as they were producing grandchildren for us. I really really feel I've missed out severely only seeing my grandchildren rarely. I also missed out knowing my grandparents well because my parents moved across the continent. So Sad.

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The problem here is not with grandkids, the parents did not raise their daughter correctly.

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You raised a self-entitled brat, lady. But good for you for sayin' hell no...

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The grandparents have the typical Boomer retirement mentality. No previous generation ever had "retirement"; no previous generation ever considered it a "right" to move "somewhere warm" at a certain age & spend the rest of their lives in self-absorbed leisure; & no previous generation ever prioritized this over being close to family & continuing to contribute & participate in multi-generational family life. Tbh, I see this attitude in tons of Boomer & early Gen-X grandparents, & it pretty much disgusts me. Their generation treated their own parents & grandparents like garbage (nursing homes, anyone?), & now that same "me first" attitude is directed towards their kids & grandkids. Boomers/early Gen-X are the most spoiled, self-absorbed generation to ever live. When I'm a grandmother, I will be part of my family's everyday lives right until the end. Being needed & useful & helping raise the young is what gives elders a sense of purpose & meaning; it keeps the aged young at heart... "retirement" is the epitome of Western decadence.