Grandma "I am a better mum". Also Grandma "get her out of here, I need a smoke" HAHAHA. And yes, I love that guy too LOL.

I'm stuck on the phrasing here: "Took her vape away." That phrasing implies that this child has a vape that people see as "hers," and that the taking of it was part of a punishment. What the hell? Amongst good parents, I'd like to think the phrasing would be, "I found out she had gotten a vape and I destroyed it."

Why do all the comments 'Bored Panda' posts leave me feeling like some AI bot is trying to lead a group therapy workshop? Initiated by stating a positive reinforcing comment to a previous comment, followed up with 'what are your thoughts' questions, while trying to illicit an open ended dialogue touching on the deeper points of the original posts? Mindfulness Panda Workshop 101 (my apologies if I've offended anyone who enjoys this)

I tested my limits with my mom when I was 11. Ii decided that I was bigger and tougher than she was. I ended up flat on my back, on the kitchen floor with mom sitting on me. The takedown was swift and merciless. I wasn't hurt. No physical injuries. Only thing injured was my pride.

Kudos to the parents! Sometimes lessons are only learned the hard way. There's one thing though: the vape. That should absolutely go or else she runs the risk of having bad lungns before she turns 25.

No d***s are good for a kid. Probably part of her problem. D***s, including alcohol and weed, have a place in adult society, but not for kids.

This story generated the most comments I have ever seen on this web site. One thing we can all agree on: parenting is NOT a cake walk. I have been a parent, 1 son. He is an adult now. I have never been a parent to a daughter. I am not a grandma nor an MIL. I hope I would have the good sense that so long as my son and his future wife are not performing child abuse on their children, I would keep my mouth shut about their parenting. Because I have been a mother and worked full time. It was not easy. And that was in the 90s.

I think this all played out well. But now the tough love needs to come with compassion and understanding. Sometimes these behaviours come from low self esteem. Now with everyone "not wanting to look after her" she's going to think no one loves her. Her behaviour will get worse. Find a way to connect. She's not going to readily talk but maybe some of her punishment can be to assist you with cooking or do a home project together. You might have the opportunity to break some barriers when doing an activity together. And remind her that she is loved but the behaviour is not

Logical and natural consequences, for both daughter and grandmother. Way to go!

Grandma interfered and found out what a little b***h she is being and wants Mama to come get her the next day. Grandma got what she asked for! As for Tamara, I don't care if she is 14 she's not to old for an a*s beating for the behavior, smoking and skipping school. If I had done anything like that at 14 my Mama would have knocked me into the next decade.

My 13 year old daughter also called her grandparents when she had things taken away and was grounded and my parents (who heavily contributed to the struggles I had parenting 13 due to a complete disregard for boundaries) came immediately over after I told them no, to get their granddaughter because they always said she “needs a break from me/siblings” and I said absolutely no way she’s going and having a little vacay at grandma’s instead of the appropriate consequences of her behaviour at home. My parents screamed in my face for two hours , threatening to call the police if I didn’t hand over 13, scaring 3 & 6 year old grandchildren and tried to break in the door. After that I said we were taking a break from them and they FILED A LAWSUIT demanding forced visitation with 13 that would be the equivalent of 50% custody..the clincher? I had just started chemotherapy the week prior. Grandparents should SUPPORT the parenting of their kids not sabotage it at every opportunity. Bad People

HA! Exact same thing happened to my mom with my oldest. She let him do whatever he wanted. Never said no. Always harped on me for being "too harsh" with him. Until my brother got married at my parents house. My oldest, then around 4, constantly followed my mom around and annoyed the s**t out of her for hours and hours. When she whined to me about him being "uncontrollable" I told her "What did you expect? YOU are the one that taught him this sort of behavior is okay." I've never seen her scowl so hard before. But you better believe she quit the "mommy is so mean" nonsense after that.

When my younger brother was caught smoking our dad lit a cigar and made him smoke it..... I have never seen that colour of green on a face before. :) Trouble is dad wasted a good King Edward and brother still smoked lol

I live everything OP did here. Sending daughter to MIL, tell SIL they can take her if they object, and the round of call is just 💋!

I wonder if THC isn't her only vape. A lot of this sounds like jonesing and withdrawing behaviour.

I like how she called MIL's bluff. 😆 "Okay, you handle it if you're so good at it." She wasn't going to argue it while she got a well-deserved break. 😆

I really can't say much about vaping nicotine though, especially when I started smoking cigarettes at 15 back in the mid 90s. I didn't get caught until I was 18 back in 98 and was told by my dad that he rather see me smoking than drinking anyday and that he would had never done anything if I told him when I started smoking at 15 due to peer pressure.(Got threatened to get 7 more stitches or smoke by my best friend at the time). I just wished that my kids never started vaping nicotine when they were younger cause the effects is a lot more harsh with vaping than smoking and can cause lung cancer a lot quicker than smoking and gum disease. I won't vape nicotine I tried it's too harsh and plus I have heart disease and gum disease within the past 5yrs on gum disease and 3 yrs being diagnosed with Heart disease. I'm just 44 and no I never dipped or chewed tobacco in my life and I do have lung problems ever since I had a trake in my throat back 3yrs ago when I took too much delta 8 oil....

And one again, karme shows just what a female dog is.

Why in the world do they allow a 14 year old to vape anything? Do some homework parents. Teenage girls are a world of difference from teen boys. Hopefully the experience hasn't destroyed the relationship they had before.

The only concern I would have is about the daughter's actual safety with a grandmother not prepared to effectively manage her behavior. Many teens have zero judgement and actually put themselves at risk if not prevented. However, this girl did not seem terribly out of control and her grandmom stepped up to the plate pretty well, if not happily. So, yes, it was probably a good move, clarified the situation, and eased any future similar issues. Just also, approach your teen with love as well as firmness. She needs it and will sense love and affection even at her most infuriating.

Finally some good parenting on BP

I wonder what's up with the daughter. Obviously NTA to the mom, but this is not normal teenager behavior. I wonder if there is something underlying because a fourteen-year-old should not be acting like this.

Congratulations on giving up your child in a HEARTBEAT! She's gonna remember that for the rest of her life. She's also going to remember that you refused to take her back, that you delayed. All kids go through a s****y phase. But this post fails to mention the circumstances of her life. I absolutely do not believe a post weighted like this is the entire story. I bet there's a decent chance the parents are ignoring the kid's needs or interests or beliefs and imposing their world view and expectations in an intolerant fashion. This sounds like a Karen weighing a story to make her sound like the champion against her MIL and daughter...