Given the fact that 50yo grandma also works full-time, expecting her to be a full-time caregiver—for free!—on her only days off is unreasonable. Ngl, I went back to work when my daughter was 5yo, and my mom did provide full-time daycare. However, I worked the night shift, so the burden amounted to time my daughter was sleeping, plus a couple hours in the morning before school...and my mom was a stay-at-home herself...and she volunteered. I would never have asked.

This is a very painful situation for everyone involved. Obviously, the single mom is not making it on her week day income and needsn to bring in more. The grandmother has a legitimate point about her very real limits in regard to time, health and energy. There a few possible solutions here. Since the mom does have 3 other siblings, it could be possible to split child care between some of them on different occasions. In addition, perhaps it is possible to trade some child care with women she knows from work, in exchange for giving them rides to and from work or to the grocery store, etc. Also, in addition to the above, it is very important to pursue legal action against the child's father. If the mother knows his name and any past address at all. He is legally responsible for supporting his offspring. There are lawyers who will take on such a case for free. This is something to discuss with a district attorney.

Can we talk about reversible vasectomies until bio fathers want to stay in the picture and raise the children they produce?

Why does it have to be the same person every weekend? Any reason that they ca'n't establish some kind of schedule or rotation involving all these "interested" parties?

I had my kids later... I'm 53 and my kids are young teens. I still have an active career and when the girls were babies, I actually hired my stepmom to watch them. I feel like anyone who watches my kids deserve to earn money for it. Everyone's time is valuable. If it's just a few hours while we go out to dinner, they won't take money for it. Maybe her daughter can find a barter system with another parent and exchange childcare duties? I work in the film industry and a lot of the single women in my business started a whole group about doing that to help each other out.

I always tell my daughter if I have no rights telling her with who she sleeping with because she's grown up. She has no rights if she gets pregnant to dump her child for weekends because she's tired. I'm not obligated to fix her life.

I was a single mom, and my parents helped - occasionally! If I needed them to keep my son, I *always* arranged it well in advance, and if they couldn't, I made other arrangements or changed my plans. They did step up in emergencies, but those were rare. They raised their kids, and I was raising mine. As it should be.

She shouldn't feel bad, she did her time...grandmothers aren't expected to do anything. When my daughter was little I would ask my mother rarely because she was working full time. I appreciated it when she offered to steal the little one for a day, but I never guilted her for when she couldn't.

My mom is a state certified daycare provider. She babysits my kid. I pay her and we are on a set schedule. If I need extra babysitting days I have to request the time 1 week in adavance like her other clients. She will occasionally watch her for a weekend date night but only if she's up for it and she doesnt want me to pay her for that bc thats grandma time. Point is I dont assume her days off are mine for grabs bc she's grandma and I pay her for her services during the week.We have are happy with the arrangement and we are glad we did it this way.

Could care less what others opinions or thoughts are. That's just me. I baby sat my sons baby daughter when she was 1yr until 3 1/2yrs old Everyday from the crack of dawn till late evening. Never charged him a dime, his wife wanted to work but was only allowed to work if I watched that baby. I potty trained her asap and taught her alot. Even on the weekends they would drop her off to go out and live a great life. I was stuck at home with the Baby their baby. I raised 4 children, no one ever helped me. Then one day the wife's father came sick to live with them, the wife quit working and picked up the Baby and ghosted me. I never saw the Baby again, they moved to Florida and never looked back. If I had to do it over sadly I would not help them at all. I was used and abused and thats not nice so they killed it I will help no one and watch no child ever again. I am now living my life and am not interested in any one but myself. I am not interested in any messages from my son i ignore them

NTA. Your daughter needs to get Child Support from the Dad & use the money for hiring a weekend babysitter. She just needs to get a child support hearing from the court. They will garnish his wages. It took both of them to conceive & both should pay for the care of the child. Mom should get Money from the Dad if he is not contributing to raising his Son.

Can we change it to "single parent"? Single dads are rarely given the same sympathy. It's not just single moms that have it hard.

How very convenient for the other family members to put their oar in, saying it is her duty as a grandmother, whilst 'safely' far enough away to not be able to be physically involved themselves.

for whatever reason the father is out of the picture, but what about his family? they are family too and maybe they could help.

I'll start by saying it's really shitty on the father!! Guys that aren't an active part of their childs life in my opinion should be buried beneath a prison! They make me sick! So I feel for the daughter and the kids, but what blows my mind is a family that thinks it's the grandparents "job" to babysit and help raise grandkids. Umm, how bout no! They helped raise grandkids by hopefully raising good kids themselves and instilling good family values. Would it be nice if she could help out every once in a while? Absolutely, but to think and expect it to be on a regular basis? I'm sorry I just don't believe that to be true! They have done their job and it's now time to enjoy her new life! And she states that the rest of the family isn't suited to help and somehow that doesn't surprise me that they are trying to guilt her into doing it. This woman has earned the right to not have to watch kids every single weekend, on her only days off! Tell her NO! Live your life and help occasionally!

My Mother would not have done it. Maybe once in a while but certainly not all the time.

I never expected my parents to look after my kids, and rarely do I ever ask anyone to babysit them. I have 4 kids, 2 are from my first marriage and teenagers, the other two are almost 8 and 5 - neither of those have ever went to their dads mum to be looked after, once the older one stayed overnight with her aunt when she was about 1. I very very rarely go anywhere where I can't take my kids even when I was a single mum to the older two. My brother on the other hand is always asking mum to collect kids from school, babysit etc and I guess that has made me feel unable to ask as she gets enough babysitting from his kids. The kids starting school makes such a huge difference I get the mum wants some extra money but it's not ok to use people selfishly.

I'm wondering why they haven't gone after the dad for child support. It sounds like the young mom is desperate for affordable childcare. I know grandma is tired, but maybe if she keeps bringing up other childcare options and talking to others in the family to see who's available to help out on the weekends ... other arrangements will eventually be made.

F*****g live. You're not selfish. Go out on the weekend and live. Slow your daughter to learn appreciation for how much you actually have sacrifices for your babies. Go do something you have always wanted to do. Join a class, learn a language learn your body and whom the 50 year old you. Lol at yourself and find your true north. She should have set up child care prior to taking in more responsibility missing all of her son's life.

I bet that the Gma isn't being paid. I was expected to watch my gdaughters w/o pay...10 hours a day....they both had great jobs...RN...I had rent and bills to pay. When I said something, instead of paying me, they put the kids in a nursery costing no telling how much....