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30 Funny Grammar Puns That Might Be Interesting Not Only To English Teachers

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One would like to think that the tool used for humans to communicate should be a rather simple one, along the lines of Newspeak, where everything is simplified, and there’s no place for cumbersome nuance. However, neither people nor the languages we use are without their intricacies, so in all actuality, the tool for communication is nothing but incomplex. Starting with basics like your and you’re and ending with hidden meanings disguised in similar-sounding pronunciations, a language never ceases to amaze and baffle. But, as with all life’s entanglements, it is best to just have a laugh if something is beyond and above you. Or, on the other hand, you feel like you’re the only one who understands what’s truly happening; in that case, you can giggle devilishly to yourself at other people’s incompetencies. It is not very nice, though, but we are all guilty of that, am I right?

Anyhoo, we are here to talk about grammar jokes and puns, so why not adhere to the topic at hand instead of exploring the depths of the human condition? So, although you’ve been learning and using languages your whole life, there’s always something to be stumped by, and there’s always something to have a laugh at. Just check out these glorious language jokes! Some of them are pretty basic, while others require a certain deeper degree of understanding of the mechanics of a language. No matter the case, though, all of these grammar puns are beyond hilarious and, at times, even enlightening! So many wordplays, so little time! And time is precious, so why don’t we skip this gabble and just go straight to the smart jokes, shall we? They are exactly where they are supposed to be - a smidgen down below. Once you are there, vote for the best language jokes and share this smart article with your friends!

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#1

A linguistics professor was lecturing in his English class one day. "In English," he said, "a double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no
language in which a double positive can form a negative."

A voice from the back of the room piped up: "Yeah, right!"

169points

What even is this 2 years ago

Hmm...

17points

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#2

My wife: "You need to do more chores around the house."

Me: "Can we change the subject?"

My wife: "Ok, more chores around the house need to be done by you."

168points

Abigail Coty 2 years ago

Passive voice 💕

30points

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#3

Why do sperm cells look like commas and apostrophes?

They often interrupt periods and lead to contractions.

155points

leia's emotional cupcake 2 years ago

that is some smart person who came up with that...

24points

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#4

Grammar is the difference between: knowing your s**t and knowing you're s**t.

131points

SeaShell 2 years ago

burn

17points

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#5

“Let’s eat Grandma!”

“Let’s eat, Grandma!”

Punctuation saves lives.

131points

CookieCrump 2 years ago

Best thing to ever exist on a t-shirt.

18points

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#6

What's the difference between a cat and a comma?

One has claws at the end of the paws. The other is a pause at the end of a clause.

111points

What even is this 2 years ago

Can't think of a good comment.

15points

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#7

What do you call a snobbish criminal going down the stairs?

A condescending con descending.

94points

Katie Nelson 2 years ago

If a had a dollar for every time that happened...

8points

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#8

Double negatives are a big no-no.

90points

Russ Kincade 2 years ago

Teacher: Class, there are two words I never want to see in your papers. One is knarly and the other is bogus". Student, "Ok, what are they?"

27points

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#9

What word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it?

Short.

84points

What even is this 2 years ago

How do you make the number seven an even number without using any equations? You take away the s.

24points

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#10

Did you hear the one about the pregnant woman who went into labor and started shouting, “Couldn’t! Wouldn’t! Shouldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”?

She was having contractions.

84points

GetKrilled 2 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

16points

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#11

How do you comfort a grammar snob?

“There, their, they’re.”

72points

SeaShell 2 years ago

yes

10points

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#12

When I was a kid, my teacher looked at me and said, "Name two pronouns!" I replied, "Who, me?"

70points

What even is this 2 years ago

And people ask what is wrong with humanity

17points

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#13

What begins with T, ends with T and has T in it?

A teapot.

70points

Nitro Codes 2 years ago

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#14

Is there a word that uses all the vowels including y?

Unquestionably.

69points

Kusotare 2 years ago

He said, facetiously. (In alphabetical order, even!)

65points

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#15

Synonym rolls: just like grammar used to make.

69points

Rebecca Flanagan 2 years ago

I'm a stress-baking bibliophile and just found my pun soulmate.

23points

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#16

Proper capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse.

65points

SeaShell 2 years ago

🤣🤣🤣too good

17points

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#17

Hyphenated and Non-Hyphenated. Ah, the ironies of English!

65points

Katie Nelson 2 years ago

Unhyphenated. Problem fixed

18points

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#18

English is a difficult language. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.

63points

Yep it's Ella 🇺🇦 2 years ago

Though through though thought the tough tongue... I give up.

6points

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#19

Why is nostalgia like grammar?

We find the present tense and the past perfect.

60points

Russ Kincade 2 years ago

"The past is history, the future a mystery. But today is a gift. That's why the call it the present". Master Oogway, Kung Fu Panda.

15points

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#20

Seven days without a pun makes one weak.

57points

#21

I before e, except when you run a feisty heist on a weird beige foreign neighbor.

57points

Rebecca Flanagan 2 years ago

Teaching my 7yo spelling tricks like this "I before e except after c" and he calls me on THEIR.

15points

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#22

My brother gave his teacher a thank you note that said, "Your a good teacher." I'm not so sure!

50points

Thomas Sweda 2 years ago

He don be rong.

2points

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#23

What do you get when you cross a joke and a rhetorical question?

49points

What even is this 2 years ago

25points

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#24

What do you call Santa’s little helpers?

Subordinate clauses.

49points

What even is this 2 years ago

Santa clause movie flashbacks

3points

#25

The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar...

It was tense.

48points

What even is this 2 years ago

But they didn't find scrooge yet.

5points

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#26

Every time you make a typo, the errorists win.

44points

What even is this 2 years ago (edited)

Wut doo yoo mene?

9points

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#27

When’s a door not a door?

When it’s ajar.

44points

Leslie Crittenden 2 years ago

Oh my God I heard this first 60 years ago lol

14points

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#28

There is a special tax suitable for people who destroy the English language. It is called Syntax.

43points

Katie Nelson 2 years ago

That sounds like a medicine.

5points

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#29

What dinosaur knows a lot of synonyms?

A thesaurus.

40points

Daniel Atkins 2 years ago (edited)

If he is really good at it is he thesaurus rex?

7points

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#30

John was excited because his local newspaper was hosting a pun contest. He stayed up all night carefully creating ten puns. He submitted them the next morning. When the results came back, John checked to see if he won but, alas, no pun in ten did.

39points

Robert Trebor 2 years ago

Of course there was the man who, at the dentist's, refused Novacaine, saying, "I will transcend dental medication."

7points

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#31

I visited a prison library.

It had its prose and cons.

22points

Katie Nelson 2 years ago

prosoners

2points

#32

You can't run through a campsite.

You can only ran, since it's past tents.

21points

GetKrilled 2 years ago

aaaaaaaaa

3points

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#33

When I was young there was only 25 letters in the Alphabet?

Nobody knew why.

21points

Toea Muresan Iulia 2 years ago

were >)

10points

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#34

One cactus said, "You need to be less selfish. Don't forget it is Cact-US". The other cactus replied, "But sweetie, the plural is a Cact-I."

19points

SeaShell 2 years ago

good point

2points

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#35

11 consonants, eight vowels, a comma, and an exclamation mark will appear in court to be sentenced next week.

18points

GetKrilled 2 years ago

Great, whatever you say!

4points

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#36

So many people are bothered about correct grammar... But I couldn't care fewer.

18points

Aroace tiger (she/they/he) 2 years ago

That makes me uncomfortable

15points

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#37

There are three things that I love: the Oxford comma, irony, and missed opportunities.

17points

Richard Grant 2 years ago

That took me way to long

1point

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#38

What did the intransitive verb say when told it was pretty?

Nothing. Intransitive verbs can’t take complements.

16points

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#39

How do you spell mousetrap?

C-A-T.

16points

Katie Nelson 2 years ago

I love that game, but they always forgot cats :(

1point

#40

Name a bus you can never enter?

A syllabus.

15points

#41

Why shouldn’t you date apostrophes?

They’re too possessive.

13points

Auntriarch 2 years ago

Unless you're a greengrocer

0points

#42

Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar.

They sit. They drink. They leave.

13points

#43

Why do words and punctuation end up in court?

To be sentenced.

13points

#44

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"To."

"To who?"

"To whom!"

13points

Yep it's Ella 🇺🇦 2 years ago

Does anyone even know the difference between who and whom?

4points

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#45

I’ve always taken pride in knowing how to use a semicolon; damn.

13points

#46

What letter of the alphabet has got lots of water?

The C.

13points

Phil Boswell 2 years ago

What's a pirate's favourite letter? You'd think it would be "R" but a true pirate will always love the "C" ;-)

3points

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#47

Last night my classroom was broken into and all of the dictionaries were stolen.

I’m lost for words.

13points

#48

It is important to follow the laws of grammar.

Rules is rules.

13points

Catarina 2 years ago

😡

4points

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#49

I was a surgeon with bad punctuation.

I got fired for leaving out a colon.

13points

Mikey Kliss 2 years ago

Please put the colon back, sir

4points

#50

What happened when the verb asked the noun to conjugate?

The noun declined.

12points

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#51

The teacher did not promote the Braille language as it was too touchy.

11points

#52

What happened when the semicolon broke grammar laws?

It was given two consecutive sentences.

11points

Daniel Atkins 2 years ago

It was a run on.

3points

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#53

Why did the run-on sentence think it was pregnant?

Its period was late.

10points

Daniel Atkins 2 years ago

Also there was a pregnant pause.

0points

#54

What did the period say to the sentence?

We better stop now!

9points

#55

It’s funny how full stops are known as periods in the US. Ask any girl, it’s never a full stop.

9points

#56

One punctuation mark saw the other at a restaurant and asked, "Do you comma here often?"

9points

SeaShell 2 years ago

no, only period-ically

4points

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#57

A Question mark walks into a bar?

9points

#58

Why is the B so cool?

Because it’s in between AC.

9points

#59

Why wouldn't the pronoun go out with the noun?

He kept propositioning her.

7points

#60

An ancient Egyptian student is chiseling his essay into a stone. His teacher comes over and says, "No, you should never end a sentence with an ox."

6points

Saimonas Lukošius

Saimonas is a list curator at Bored Panda with BA in Multimedia. Saimonas has mainly worked as a freelance graphic designer, illustrator and finds joy in anything related to visual arts.

Saimonas is a list curator at Bored Panda with BA in Multimedia. Saimonas has mainly worked as a freelance graphic designer, illustrator and finds joy in anything related to visual arts.

Justė Kairytė - Barkauskienė

Justė is a copywriter here at Bored Panda, and though her studies at the Veterinary Academy seemingly have nothing to do with writing, the passion for animals and nature helps in creating the most interesting and engaging posts. She also works with Search Engine Optimization, so you could find Bored Panda's articles easier. Justė's not only an avid equestrian, but she's also a walking encyclopedia. Ask her anything!

Justė is a copywriter here at Bored Panda, and though her studies at the Veterinary Academy seemingly have nothing to do with writing, the passion for animals and nature helps in creating the most interesting and engaging posts. She also works with Search Engine Optimization, so you could find Bored Panda's articles easier. Justė's not only an avid equestrian, but she's also a walking encyclopedia. Ask her anything!

Saulė Tolstych

Saulė is a photo editor at Bored Panda with bachelor's degree in Multimedia and Computer Design. The thing that relaxes her the best is going into YouTube rabbit hole. In her free time she loves painting, embroidering and taking walks in nature.

Saulė is a photo editor at Bored Panda with bachelor's degree in Multimedia and Computer Design. The thing that relaxes her the best is going into YouTube rabbit hole. In her free time she loves painting, embroidering and taking walks in nature.

Jurgita Dominauskaitė

Having started as a content creator that made articles for Bored Panda from scratch I climbed my way up to being and editor and then had team lead responsibilities added as well. So it was a pretty natural transition from writing articles and titles as well as preparing the visual part for the articles to making sure others are doing those same tasks as I did before well, answering their questions and guiding them when needed. Eventually I realized editing gives me the most enjoyment and I'm focusing only on that right now.

Having started as a content creator that made articles for Bored Panda from scratch I climbed my way up to being and editor and then had team lead responsibilities added as well. So it was a pretty natural transition from writing articles and titles as well as preparing the visual part for the articles to making sure others are doing those same tasks as I did before well, answering their questions and guiding them when needed. Eventually I realized editing gives me the most enjoyment and I'm focusing only on that right now.

What do you think ?

Austin Hicks 2 years ago

I speak on behalf of everyone: ahem, groan.

0points

Austin Hicks 2 years ago

I speak on behalf of everyone: ahem, groan.

0points

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