Bored Panda asked Dr. Koehler about how parents can balance unconditional support for their kids and setting healthy boundaries for their behavior. She advocated the importance of authoritative parenting. "Balanced parenting hinges on the synergistic blend of firm boundaries and unconditional love, a practice that crafts a nurturing space where children thrive," the school psychology expert told us via email.

"Establishing clear guidelines on acceptable behavior communicated with calm assertiveness instills a sense of security and predictability, essential scaffolds for a child's growth. This structure is complemented by unwavering support that bolsters self-esteem and emotional well-being, honoring the child's individuality apart from their accomplishments."

Dr. Koehler noted that this approach is known as authoritative parenting and is a "proven recipe for fostering children's resilience, driving academic success, and cultivating mental health, thereby setting the stage for positive holistic development."

In the meantime, the expert shared some thoughts on how parents can boost their sense of confidence in what they're doing. She explained to Bored Panda that everything starts with introspection.

"When parents record their accomplishments and virtues, it redirects attention from perceived weaknesses to inherent strengths, fostering self-esteem. Seeking out community resources can provide fresh insights and strategies, bolstering parenting abilities and self-confidence," Dr. Koehler said.

"Success as a parent should be gauged by the overall well-being and joy of their children rather than adherence to unattainable ideals or external benchmarks. Recognizing that each child within a family is unique, it's essential to tailor notions of success to fit each child's individual needs and milestones," the host of the Beyond School Walls blog on Psychology Today shared with us.

There is no single ‘best’ way to approach parenting. Raising kids is a very dynamic thing. How you approach everything will depend a lot on your family’s situation, how you yourself were raised, as well as the parenting trends that dominate your social circle.

So, for instance, if your family and friends are super into raising kids to be incredibly independent, you’re more likely to follow in their footsteps. Similarly, if limiting screen time is a huge issue in your local area or in the news at the time, it might be something that you focus on as well.

Putting aside whatever’s trending for a moment, parenting, at its very core, comes down to a few main things. First of all, you’ve got to get the most fundamental of basics right. It means feeding and clothing your kids, and giving them a stable roof over their heads.

It means providing them with education, looking after their health, and giving them the care and attention that they deserve.

In short, your role as a parent begins with ensuring that your kids are healthy and looked after on a physical level. Next, you’ve got to consider what type of people you want your children to grow up to be.

Many parents want their kids to be kind, capable, successful, talented, etc. However, you can’t just close your eyes and hope for that to happen automatically.

Parents need to understand that everything they do and say sets an example for their children to follow (or avoid). So if there’s little charity or altruism to be found at home, your kids might not grow up to be incredibly selfless and supportive of others.

On the flip side, families that continuously reinforce the importance of kindness and helping others are more likely to raise children who embrace the same values. Wholesomeness, like what you see in this list, is the result of long-standing family values and traditions.

Similarly, you can't expect your kids to have healthy relationships with food, exercise, or technology if you don't set the right example at home.

No matter your parenting approach, unconditional love is paramount. It gives your kids a deep sense of confidence to do well in life. However, parental love and support don’t mean that the kids are ‘always right’ or that their actions don’t have any consequences.

Loving someone means wanting them to be the best version of themselves. That means guiding them when they make mistakes, calling them out when they’re cruel, and helping them view failure as learning opportunities—not something to be ashamed of.

There are four main styles of parenting, and they can have a huge impact on your children’s future. These are: authoritative, authoritarian, permissive, and uninvolved (aka neglectful). Generally speaking, kids tend to do best when raised in authoritative households and they do worst in life in authoritarian and uninvolved families. 

Authoritative parents are very big on communication, structure, and transparency. They set very clear rules and boundaries for their children. However, this isn’t done in a vacuum: these parents take the time to explain the reasons behind the rules. Naturally, they give their children consequences for their actions, but they also consider their feelings.

As Verywell Family points out, parents who embrace the authoritative style like to invest time and energy into preventing behavior problems before they start. The result? Kids who grow into happy, successful, and responsible adults. They have no issues expressing their opinions or advocating for themselves. 

Authoritarian parents, on the other hand, are all about rules without communication. These parents tend to apply a ‘what I say goes’ and ‘don’t question me’ philosophy. They appeal to their own sense of authority and ignore their children’s opinions or feelings on most matters.

They’re also very focused on punishing kids for making mistakes. As such, these children tend to be very disciplined, however, they may develop self-esteem issues as they grow. Some might also lean into anger too much or may become good liars because they wanted to avoid punishment growing up.

Meanwhile, permissive parents rarely enforce rules at home and tend to interfere in their kids’ lives as little as possible. They’re often very lenient and forgiving and see themselves more as their munchkins’ friends than parents.

Kids who grow up in these households may struggle in school and have problems with authority figures. They also often have low self-esteem and may have health issues (e.g. obesity, poor sleep) because their parents aren’t as involved in their lives as they might have been.

Lastly, uninvolved parenting is when the parents are completely detached from their children and barely spend any time with them. Kids in such households barely ever get attention or guidance and practically raise themselves. This leads to poor academic performance, behavior problems, and unhappiness.

We'd love to hear from you Pandas, so scroll down to the comment section to share your thoughts. Which of these posts did you enjoy the most? What's the most wholesome thing that your parents have ever done? How do you support your own kids if you have any? 

For some more concentrated happiness and wholesomeness, be sure to check out Bored Panda's previous articles about parenting done right!