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We all get the opportunity to decide what kind of life we want to live. From the places we live in, to which jobs we do, to how many (if any at all) kids we have—most of these choices are ours to make, at least to some extent.

And all of them come with both advantages and challenges. Today, we're going to focus on one in particular—choosing to be child-free. From perks like freedom to the cons of struggling, relating to people, and even being judged by them, we talk about about all of them. So, let’s dive in and explore more, shall we?

#1

A woman with curly hair making a displeased expression, relating to childfree lifestyle discussions. I never liked kids when I was a kid. I never liked kids when I was a teen. I never liked kids when I was a an adult. I never liked kids when I was mature. And I never liked kids when I was old. I just never liked kids. So why would I want what I don’t like?

It feels glorious. Everytime I see screeching ferals on the bus, giving the parents a headache, I think how glad I am I dodged that bullet!

Mortuus , Polina Zimmerman Report

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UncleJohn3000
Community Member
Premium
6 days ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Being the fun aunt or uncle is the best role. You can hand the kid back when it's sticky.

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    #2

    Person reading a book, partially hidden, representing childfree lifestyle choices. Being alone. I am a very introverted person, ideally social interactions only make up about 10-30% of my day maximum, and I can spend the rest alone/not interacting with anyone. The more my boundaries get extended, the more uncomfortable, stressed, and anxious I become. Having to spend 80% of my day with a little kid to make sure their social and physical needs are met would be a *nightmare*. I'd have one meltdown after the other.

    anon , John Diez Report

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    #3

    Woman in white tank top relaxing on a bed, representing childfree lifestyle benefits. The peace and quiet.

    The undisturbed sleep.

    That my life won't ever revolve around another human being that is dependent on me.

    SpankYourSpeakers , Andrea Piacquadio Report

    In our society, parenthood is often viewed as one of the ultimate goals a person can achieve in their life. Yet, not everyone is actually cut out for it, so some opt to avoid becoming a parent. 

    Of course, like any other lifestyle, it has its ups and downs. Today’s list, which was gathered from various people’s opinions scattered across the internet, reveals some of those. 

    As you might notice, quite a few of these things (especially the advantages) directly correlate with the most common reasons why some people choose to not become parents

    #4

    Person relaxing in a hammock between trees with a mountain view, highlighting the freedom and tranquility of being childfree. To me it's so many things I can't even begin to decide on one factor.

    Not having to worry so much about money.
    Having time to relax.
    Being able to sleep in and take naps.
    When I put things down, they stay where I put them.
    Less stress.
    Not fearing when a school is shut down because of a gun/bomb threat that my child is going to be hurt.
    Not stressing about the world my child would be inheriting.
    Not being trapped at home, not having to leave the job I like for one that's more flexible with childcare, not being stuck for the sake of my kids.

    That's just a quick summery. I could probably write a book if I wold like.

    WowOwlO , Leonie Fahjen Report

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    #5

    Woman enjoying a scenic view of a marina and mountains, embracing the childfree life and its lifestyle benefits. The fact that I can travel anywhere I want, whenever I want.

    The fact that I get to spend my money on things I love in general and not having to spend a dime on stupid s**t a kid would require.

    Also I absolutely 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 all the silence and free time CF life provides.

    Overcooked_Nigiri , Alex P Report

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    Miriam Insidecor
    Community Member
    4 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Same. I went on 6 holidays last year to 6 different countries. No strings tying me down. Love it.

    #6

    A child on a man's shoulders, highlighting the childfree lifestyle contrast. Peace of mind. I’m autistic and the constant sound of a child screeching, babbling, crying, etc etc etc. would be enough to give me a permanent meltdown. That’s before even factoring in all the hitting, biting, and s******g they do. No f*****g thank you to any of that.

    SmokeMoreWorryLess , Phil Nguyen Report

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    Bonesko
    Community Member
    6 days ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm not autistic, but the sound of a child crying or screeching can, and has brought me to tears. I was my niece's guardian for a year and I remember one time we were all sick, so they were crying, I also happened to be injured at the time and I ended up breaking down crying. The sound of children crying is maddening, stressful, it's meant to be. But it should also be a choice if you want to deal with that.

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    For instance, freedom—many folks just want to live their lives for themselves, but when you’re a parent, that’s just not possible to do. Unless you’re fully neglecting the child, and we don’t have to tell you how wrong that is, do we? This reason is even highlighted by the term “child-free” itself. It contains the suffix -free, which gives the freedom and personal choice to live this way. 

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    But that’s far from the sole reason why parenthood isn’t everyone’s choice. Maybe a person didn’t have the best childhood and/or relationship with their parents and they’re afraid of repeating those patterns. Maybe they just worry about their ability to parent. 

    #7

    A childfree person joyfully exiting a car, smiling while holding a balloon, wearing a stylish patterned dress. My life is MINE to live as I please 24/7. Not controlled by anyone else for 18+ years

    CashingOutInShinjuku , Aviz Media Report

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    #8

    A woman enjoying coffee while using a laptop, representing the childfree lifestyle. I was going to go into the office today but I’ve just come on my period so I decided to lay in and have a coffee. I’m WFH now in my PJs with no pressure to get up and get a child ready to get to school. BLISS!

    bigfeelingsbuddy , Andrea Piacquadio Report

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    #9

    Group of young children with one girl in focus, reflecting on thoughts about childfree life. Not having to relive childhood traumas and hardships via my kids.

    Meeeshyy , Claudio Ferreira Report

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    Weasel Wise
    Community Member
    6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or passing my childhood traumas onto my kid. I would be a terrible mother.

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    Others might be worried about outside forces, like wars, climate crisis, overpopulation, high living costs, and other things—just look at the news and you will get the gist. 

    The thing is that it’s up to each person and they shouldn’t be judged if they decide to be child-free. Sadly, more often than not, they are. Again, just like the reasons behind this choice, its consequences (of usually being judged), have different causes too. 

    #11

    A person in a cap and t-shirt, standing outdoors, looking content, reflecting on the childfree lifestyle under a cloudy sky. It’s a trade-off. I’m not merely child-free, but SO-free.

    It’s certainly lonelier, though not necessarily lonely

    https://qr.ae/pYg683 , Kelvin Valerio Report

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    UncleJohn3000
    Community Member
    Premium
    6 days ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I revel in solitude. While it's true the bed is always cold when you first get in, nobody ever steals your blanket.

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    #12

    A thoughtful man sits alone while a group socializes in the background, highlighting childfree lifestyle choices. At family events I'm the last to be considered/accommodated. I'm more of an accessory.

    DearAuntAgnes , Vitaly Gariev Report

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    Weasel Wise
    Community Member
    6 days ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd rather be an accessory at family events than spend 18 years (if not more) having someone crying, pooping, screaming, bleeding, vomiting....

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    As this Reddit comment points out, being child-free is a deviation from social norms, and usually deviations are treated pretty negatively. 

    For some people, what resonates about this choice is how different it is from what we’re used to—as we mentioned, parenthood is viewed as the ultimate goal.

    This especially comes from the people who've had children, because they felt pressured to, and watching someone avoid that makes them irate, as it fills them with the “what ifs” of their own life. They doubt their life choices when hearing that others don’t want to live that way, so they lash out at them. 

    #13

    View of a peaceful sunset through blinds, symbolizing childfree tranquility. Our small and very quiet home, going to bed early, and spontaneous climbing trips on weekends. ❤️.

    courageous_wayfarer , Mo Eid Report

    #14

    Bronze statue of Lady Justice holding scales and a sword, symbolizing balance and fairness. As an ER nurse, I’m worried about finding a reliable medical power of attorney. My husband is mine now, but it’s likely our health will deteriorate around the same time, and that he’ll die first. I need someone younger than me who will find me a good nursing home and enforce my DNR.

    StrongArgument , Pavel Danilyuk Report

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    Surly Scot
    Community Member
    6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My plan is once i'm too old to take care of myself...i will vote myself off of the mortal coil. Have had it planned for years. I will not be a burden on other people or public resources, I will sort my own ending out.

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    #15

    Two people chatting, while another person looks uncomfortable and avoids eye contact, highlighting social aspects of being childfree. There are three downsides.

    Insults. The childfree are called "selfish," "childless cat ladies," "bitter," not fulfilling the functions of a walking uterus, etc.

    Pressure. Especially from parents who will not accept that their relatives, coworkers, and friends are childfree and constantly badger them.

    Threats, a type of pressure. Loneliness in old age and yadda.

    Other than that, none!

    FormerUsenetUser , Keira Burton Report

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    Roland Nijveld
    Community Member
    6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ofcourse I'm selfish. No one else has me as their number 1 priority so I'm making myself number 1 priority.

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    This other Reddit comment mentions a similar thing while adding new layers. For example, the men-women dynamics in society. Men (especially conservative, religious ones) don’t like hearing about women opting out of motherhood, as it suggests the possibility that they won't need men either, instead being independent, which might challenge their status as “head of the house.” 

    These are just a few of the real reasons why child-free folks tend to be despised by some. Of course, it's important not to generalize—people are complicated beings, and understanding their actions isn't always so simple. At the same time, certain things like hatred shouldn’t be justified.

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    What are your thoughts on being child-free? Maybe you have some unmentioned pros and cons in mind? Share everything with us in the comments!

    #16

    A person with curly hair and glasses holding a cup, contemplating life without kids. The older you get, especially as you reach your 30’s or even 40’s, the harder it becomes to relate with people because most of them end up having kids.

    Also, this is both an upside and a downside, but not following the life script almost everyone is following can be a bit alienating and also you have to take more responsibility for your happiness and finding your life goal. It comes with more freedom (hence why it’s an upside), but you also have to figure out your own path… which is not always easy.

    Finally a lot of social activities for people over 30 are geared towards parents. So again, you can feel like an outcast to some extent.

    Still all very worth it though.

    barondelongueuil , Kaboompics.com Report

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    Sven Horlemann
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We got friends we stopped contact when they had their children. And then, 14 years later, reconnected. As if nothing happened. Funny. Some were saying "you are so missing out" when they became new parents. The same friends, years later, saying "Good for you" (to not have kids". We've had it all, ha ha.

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    #17

    Person checking the time on a smartwatch, illustrating childfree lifestyle benefits of freedom and flexibility. Time! your own personal time. Life is too short anyway. I want to have time for my significant other, for my parents, for my friends, for resting, for my travels and for my contemplating the world when I want to.

    Nico Leta , energepic.com Report

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    #18

    People enjoying a party, holding drinks and smiling, reflecting the childfree lifestyle benefits. Not contributing to overpopulation on this planet. More time for fun activities!

    anon , RDNE Stock project Report

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    Janelle Collard
    Community Member
    Premium
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ellie muskie having all the kids so the rest of us can slack off. :)

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    #19

    A couple enjoying festive time with their cats, emphasizing the joys of a childfree lifestyle. I have Bipolar and don't want to bring a child into the world that may suffer as I did. Being child-free is phenomenal. Thanks for asking. I have 2 cats and a husband that I love very much. I feel my life is full.

    Kris , Alina Kurson Report

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    Janelle Collard
    Community Member
    Premium
    6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Cats, dogs - really any pets - are better than kids cuz they won't ever drive, nag you to buy them a car, make you pay for college or nag you for money. 😁

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    #20

    Man in a suit smiling and holding cash, representing the benefits of being childfree. my money goes to me.

    2. Seater. Vehicles.

    you don't run on their schedual.

    random things aren't sticky.

    quiet time. All the quiet time you need.

    body not ruined.

    sikkn890 , Gustavo Fring Report

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    #21

    Woman hiking on a mountain trail, enjoying the freedom of a childfree lifestyle. I am a very spontaneous person and having kids would make that impossible. Most of the time I don't have plans for the weekends so I wake up and decide that I'm going to drive 3 hours to go hiking somewhere new, or go shopping, go to my sister's and I don't have to get anyone else ready, make sure they had a nap, snacks toys, etc. Plus I have a lot of extra money to spend on myself and no one else

    sun1079 , Nina Uhlikova Report

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    #22

    A man under stress surrounded by people pointing fingers, illustrating childfree lifestyle challenges. The "I find your lack of conformity disturbing" from all directions.

    CardiganCranberries , Yan Krukau Report

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    #23

    A woman with curly red hair lies peacefully on grass, reflecting childfree lifestyle benefits. Sleeping. Traveling whenever I want. Saving all of my money. Keeping my eardrums intact. Maintaining bodily autonomy. Having nice home furnishings without having to be hyper aware when a kid is near them. Not having to feel guilty if I’m not enjoying having them.

    pacificcactus , Natalie Bond Report

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    #24

    Person in a green dress relaxing on a sofa in a sunlit room, highlighting the childfree lifestyle benefits. Coming home from work to some peace and quiet for a nap. Not being asked "why?" 4 million times a week. Get up as early or late as I want on a weekend and doing whatever we want to. Never gonna have to change a diaper. Really don't see any downsides.

    jeep_addict , Andrea Piacquadio Report

    #25

    Two childfree individuals high-fiving near moving boxes in a bright room. I can try things, without putting anyone's wellbeing at risk except mine.

    Quit my job and switch fields? Move across states? Totally fine, whenever I want to.

    anon , Ketut Subiyanto Report

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    Weasel Wise
    Community Member
    6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love the freedom that came with being able to just walk out from my job and away from an abusive employer without having to worry about feeding other mouths.

    #26

    Person sitting on dock by a calm lake, reflecting on childfree life choices. There is no community. I meet awesome older women, they have grandchildren. I meet women around my age or a bit younger, they have kids or are trying to have them. I didn't realize being childfree meant friendless and communityless. I enjoy a ton of things by myself, but there are some things you really can't do by yourself. Just the other day I realized how much I miss going to amusement parks, but going on rides solo is just sad.

    Smurfblossom , Keenan Constance Report

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    Sven Horlemann
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I get that. But. The other side is, EVERYTHING is centered around the kids. That is all parents talk about. At that point, we simply withdrew ourselves from certain friendships. With some, we reconnected later (when their kids were teens).

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    #27

    Childfree couple enjoying a video game, sitting on a cozy sofa with a playful atmosphere. The best? I don’t have to share my video games or put up with the same cartoons/kids movies over and over again every single day.

    I would also like to say the peace and quiet and the sleep.

    questerthequester , Gustavo Fring Report

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    DrBronxx
    Community Member
    5 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Choose the right cartoons and movies, and it's fun. Our house is a Bluey house, and it's great.

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    #28

    I can imagine if you get very old, with dementia or disabled in some way, it might be difficult then. I imagine most disabilities will be sorted by robots, but I haven't got my head around the dementia question yet. Other than that, I don't foresee any disadvantages.

    Papatuanuku999 Report

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    Janelle Collard
    Community Member
    Premium
    6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just cuz someone has kids doesn't mean they'll care for their parents when they're older. Just sayin'...

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    #29

    Man holding a potted plant and a box, smiling in a spacious room, illustrating aspects of childfree lifestyle. Freedom cheaper cost of living, not always sick, getting beat up by another i am single staying that way will never have not one child as in zero i am not the fatherly type had bad experience when younger with my cousins kids made a horrible lasting impression on me add my uncle his two daughters same age as me were demons at best add with the world becoming odd fel best not to ever start a family

    my opinion is just for my reason not to influence anyone from starting a family the choice is left to you

    Jeff Alan , RDNE Stock project Report

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    #30

    Man holding flowers behind his back, facing a smiling woman, depicting joy and surprise among childfree individuals. It makes dating so much more challenging. The majority of men I come across either have kids or want them.

    jessyrae7789 , Vija Rindo Pratama Report

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    #31

    Being constantly ostracized and treated like you are permanently a teenager because apparently having offspring is what makes you a true adult.

    wildberriescompote Report

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    Weasel Wise
    Community Member
    6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can't agree with this one. If anyone is ostracizing it's me. Yes, I wanna hang out with some of the women I know that are mothers. But I don't wanna hang out with their kids, nor do I want half of our time together to be spent hearing them talk about their kids. And a lot of women with kids have fallen for the cutsie facade of mommies drink wine. Why can't we hang out without drinking alcohol?

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    #32

    It was very difficult for me to find a husband. Friends can’t relate to my life, or actively belittle me. (That one happened way more when I was single.) It’s expected that we work holidays or have to work in unsafe environments, our time is also not respected. We give more to friendships with parents than we receive, and it’s never reciprocated. Friendships with people with kids are basically one sided. Then there’s taxes….

    anon Report

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    tori Ohno
    Community Member
    4 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why do people with kids get a tax break when those kids are in public schools? That means I pay more taxes, therefore I'm paying for their kid's schooling, and they're not paying for any of it. But they're the ones with kids, they should be paying for the public schools!

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    #33

    Nothing.

    There's no downside unless you want children but don't have them.

    You should make new friends. I have core friends that I love no matter how different we may be. The people that I'm willing to spend time around I have a lot in common with. You need the second group.

    The rest are other people's thoughts and feelings on children. Who cares what they think. The children won't be their responsibility.

    ActualWheel6703 Report

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    #34

    Person in a striped shirt holding a cupcake with a candle, standing under a "Birthday" banner, reflecting childfree life. Having people not celebrate you, your wins and such. Especially if you don’t marry. You are expected to celebrate/shell out for everyone else’s weddings, showers, and kids’ milestones and don’t have anyone reciprocate for your special moments

    Optimal_Sherbert_545 , Polina Tankilevitch Report

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    norabest321
    Community Member
    4 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I hope this person gets help learning to celebrate themselves and stops allowing other peoples expectations to overrule their own needs. I know they are out there but I wish there were more mainstream 'friend' connection websites, like tinder but without the hookup part.

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