Here’s a picture - four legs with cleft hooves, dark disheveled coat, eyes with pupils resembling caterpillars, a devilish bleating, sharp horns, and vile odor. No, it’s not the devil; it’s just a mere, meek, and incredibly cute goat! Although their abilities to climb smooth surfaces and scare the crap out of everyone with their screams do seem a bit supernatural, there’s nothing really demonic about them. Unless that is, you count the devilishly funny puns dedicated to these small ruminants. And dedicate some clever puns we will - a whole article packed with only the best goat puns!
Want something to share at a dinner table while eating Fromage au lait de chèvre? We goat you there - several of our hilarious puns are more than suitable to enhance anyone’s appetite during the entree part of your meal (well, laughter is, a physical activity, after all). Or maybe you are looking for an original pun to impress your date with? Then there’s definitely no need to look for that on the Baaaa-chelor show when you can easily scroll down below and just pick one from our list. A goat pun for every occasion, every humor preference, and every important moment of your life.
Now, just scroll down below, and check out the silly puns for yourself. And we kid you not, there are some pretty cool wordplays! Once you’ve read all 147 of them, tell us which ones you liked the most by commenting or upvoting. Also, share this magnificent article with your friends - they’ll be bleating from joy after receiving it!
What do you call a goat who can play the piano?
Billy Joel.
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As two hungry goats were eating movie film stock, one turned to the other and said, “I don’t know about you, but I thought the book was better.”
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Where do you find a goat with no legs?
Right where you left it.
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What do you get when you cross a rabbit and a goat?
You get a hare in your milk.
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What do you call a goat swimming really fast in a lake?
A motor goat.
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I let my goats get whatever they want; I spoil them rotten. I guess you could say I have a bleeting heart.
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What did the bald goat say when he looked in the mirror?
“I wish I had mohair!”
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What is a little goat’s favorite nursery rhyme to sing?
“Row, Row, Row Your Goat.”
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What is a mountain goat called?
A hillbilly.
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What did the goat say about her veggies?
“These are so baaaaad!”
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What do you call a goat that works in a donut shop?
A battering ram.
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Which singer do goats always listen to?
Billy Ray Cyrus.
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What did the little goats say when they were caught playing a prank on the sheep?
Sorry, we were just kidding.
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What did the goat say when he woke up on a train?
I have no idea how I goat here.
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What’s the definition of butter?
An angry goat.
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A goat, a drum, and a snake fell off a cliff… Baa dum ssss.
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Where do goat journalists usually work?
Bleat Street.
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What reality show did the goat go on to find love?
The Baaaa-chelor.
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What does the goat call a furiendly meet up?
A goat-together.
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What did the sheep say when the billy ate her dinner?
You have goat to be kidding me.
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What’s a sporty goat’s go-to drink?
Goat-arade.
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What TV show do goats enjoy watching with their families?
America’s Goat Talent.
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What is a goat’s beard called?
A goatee!
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Why do goats hate waiting in line at the post office?
Nobody’s goat time for that!
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What is a napping baby goat called?
A kid-napper.
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Which artist do goats love the most?
Vincent Van Goat.
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You herd it here first.
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Where did the goat go to get his hair trimmed?
The baaaa-ber.
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You had me from the goat-go.
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What kind of music do goats listen to?
Baaa-ch!
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What do you call a royal goat wearing denim?
Billy Jean King.
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Why did the ram run over the cliff edge?
Because he didn’t see the ewe turn.
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What do you call a goat swimming in the sea?
Billy Ocean.
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What do you call a Spanish goat with no hind legs?
Gracias.
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When milking a nervous goat, you should use kid gloves.
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Where does an angry goat write down its problems?
On the ram-page.
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What do you call a goat that enjoys cleaning?
A room-baaaaa.
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The terrible billy forgoat his kid’s birthday.
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What’s a goat’s favourite quote?
No goats, no glory.
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What’s a goat’s favourite game?
Grand Thooft Auto.
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What’s a goat’s favourite designer?
Jean Paul Goatier.
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What’s a goat’s favourite film?
The Goatfather.
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What did the billy say to the suspicious doe?
“I’ve never even seen herbivore!”
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What does a goat call his pals?
Furiends.
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Billy is the perfect name for a newborn goat. As a child, it’ll be “Billy the Kid.” As an adult, it’ll be “Billy Goat.”
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What does a goat usually have for breakfast?
Goat-meal.
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Why are goats from France more musical than ones from America?
They have French horns.
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What did the goat that hated celebrating Christmas say?
“Baaaa-humbug.”
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What do goats say when they trick their parents?
“I was just kidding!”
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What’s a goat’s favorite cheese?
Goata.
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How do you keep a fashionable goat from charging?
You cut up her credit cards.
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What did the kid say when he pranked his parents?
“Goatcha!”
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What does a goat say when he has to repeat himself?
“Here we goat again.”
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What can you look at if you want to see a goat’s family tree?
A goat of arms.
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What did the mama goat say to her kids?
“I need a nanny goat!”
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What did the boy goat tell his friend when he saw a past crush?
“She’s the one that goat away.”
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Why were the kids mad at each other?
They goat into a fight.
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What is a goat dressed as a clown called?
A silly billy.
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Why is it hard to carry on a conversation with a goat?
Because they are always butting in.
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What do you call a goat who is in charge of a university?
Billy Dean.
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What do you call a lazy goat?
Billy Idle.
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What do you call an immature goat?
A silly billy.
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Why was the farmer angry?
Because someone got his goat.
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Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a goat.
How long has this been going on?
Since I was a kid.
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Is a goat that eats office supplies on a staple diet?
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What do you call a South American, goat-killing monster with a cold?
Achoopacabra.
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What did Bill Murray say when he visited the haunted farm?
I ain’t afraid of no goats.
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Why did the farmer stop stuffing goats into his truck?
There was no more ruminant.
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What do you get when you ask a goat to DJ at your party?
A sick bleat.
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How do you stop a goat from charging?
Unplug it.
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What did the goat who was very bored, say?
Meh!
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What’s the optimistic goat’s motto?
Things can only get feta.
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The goat travelled from one end of Britain to the other. Land’s End to John o’Goats.
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What’s a goat’s worst habit?
Butting in.
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Why did the goat apply a bandage to the wound?
To stop the bleating!
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How does the goat get out of an awkward conversation?
“Oh no, I’ve goat to go!”
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What did the little goat say to the farmer at dinnertime?
“Pygmy, pygmy first!”
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How does goat’s milk taste?
Udderly delicious!
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The goat would ruminant over his past mistakes.
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Where can you find the most-evolved goats?
The Galapagoats.
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What's the best butter on the farm?
A goat.
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Did you hear the one about the guy who herds baby goats for a living - he's great with kids.
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Goat-puns aren't all baaa-d you know.
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What musical do goats watch over and over again?
Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamgoat.
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Which president did the goat like the most?
Billy Clinton.
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What’s a goat’s favorite chick flick?
Something’s Goatta Give.
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What video game are goats amazing at?
Mario Goat Cart!
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What did the employer tell the interviewee?
“You goat the job!”
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You’ve goat to be kidding me.
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Why did the goat end up crashing into the wall?
She didn’t see the ewe turn.
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What do you call a goat that lip-syncs?
Billy Vanilli.
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What do mountain climbers share around the campfire?
Goat Stories!
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If a young goat learns a martial art, are they a karate kid?
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I told my parents I wanted to raise goats for a living, but I was only kidding.
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What did Scrooge see when he spent the festive season on the farm?
The goats of Christmas past.
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How does a goat sign his Christmas cards?
Season’s bleatings.
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How did the police goat get a confession?
He interrogoated the suspect.
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What’s a goat’s favourite sports position?
Goatkeeper.
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What’s a goat’s favourite instrument?
A goatar.
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What happened when the party was crashed?
It goat out of hand.
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What do you call a goat trying to procreate?
A mounting goat.
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What did the goat say when he looked in the mirror?
Halloumi.
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Who’s the biggest business mogul in the goat world?
Bill Goats.
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What did the whistle-blower goat say to the reporter?
“Don’t goat me on that.”
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What’s a goat’s favourite musical?
The Goatest Showman.
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Why did the goat go to the library?
To return a buck.
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Why was the billy goat a bad manager?
He was too egoatistical.
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How does the goat greet his friends?
“Hay there!”
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What did the goat say to the cow?
They've milked us for all we're worth!
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I got given an adorable baby goat, but it can't bend its knees - they say it's a-cute-kid-knee disorder.
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A goat walks into a post office and says to the postmaster, “I need to send a telegram.”
The postmaster replies, “OK, what is it?”
The goat says, “I need it to say, ‘Maa maa maa maa maa maa maa.'”
Counting the words, the postmaster tells the goat, “Well, for the same price, I can put four more ‘maas’ for you.”
The goat looks at him and scoffs, “But then it wouldn’t make any sense!”
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I don’t know how I goat here.
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What did the mama goat and her kids do each night?
Read scary goat stories!
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What did the angry goat say to her husband?
“Don’t goat me started.”
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What do you call a young goat that knows martial arts?
A karate kid.
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What are a goat’s favorite song lyrics?
“I goat to get up to get down!”
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For goat’s sake, that’s enough.
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Do hairless goats wish they had mohair?
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I saw a cartoon portraying a politician as a goat… It was satyr.
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What’s a goat’s favourite animal?
An alligoator.
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What’s a goat’s favourite hobby?
Goat Kart racing.
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What did the betrayed goat say?
“How could you fursake me?”
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What does the billy say to the badly-behaved kids?
“Have you goat anything to say for yourself?”
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What did the farmer say to the man who found his missing goat?
“You really got my goat!”
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What did the executive goat’s PA say?
“You’ve goat mail.”
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Whatever floats your goat!
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What do you call an outlaw goat?
Billy the Kid.
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The buck pined over his long lost love. The one that goat away.
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What did the goat say to the shearer?
“Cashmere if you can!”
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Why is it so hard to have a good conversation with a goat?
Because they’re always butting in.
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Why did the goat’s phone die?
Because he forgot to charge the battery.
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