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GF Questions BF For Living With Brother, Demands Divorce And Income Proof, Netizens Call It Red Flag
Relationships should be built on trust and honesty, and in a perfect world, nobody would ever be insecure or doubt their partner. But this isn’t an ideal reality and unfortunately, everyone brings at least a little bit of baggage to their relationship.
What’s worse is if the relationship is in its early stages and one partner can’t stop getting caught up in their past insecurities. That’s probably when you know things are doomed. This is what happened to one couple who were in a short-lived 3-week relationship.
More info: Reddit
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Guy wonders if he’s overreacting for thinking of breaking up with his GF of 3 weeks after she kept questioning him about his income and divorce status
Image credits: Timur Weber (not the actual photo)
Divorced guy who dated a woman for 3 weeks said that she often told him he was being defensive about his divorce or asked why he was still living with his brother
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)
After a lot of pestering, he decided to show her his divorce certificate, but was not comfortable displaying his tax return; he even wondered if he should end the relationship
Image credits: Mikhail Nilov (not the actual photo)
The poster also mentioned that despite constantly clarifying everything with her, she always felt he was being “dishonest”
Image credits: Intrepid-Spend9229
Being faced with these kinds of doubts and having to prove yourself again and again to your partner can be exhausting to cope with
The poster is a 32-year-old man who has been divorced since 2020. He has been in the dating game for 1.5 years and was in two serious relationships. None of his previous partners tried to probe about his money or divorce. But, when he began dating a 29-year-old woman, he realized that she would often get too serious and begin questioning him.
She found it sketchy that no public information was available about his divorce and kept telling him that he was becoming defensive about it. She even questioned why he would consider himself financially stable if he was rooming with his 25-year-old brother. The woman stated that she did not want to play games and needed to be with someone who she could spend her life with.
The problem with doubting and questioning your partner like this is that it might usually stem from some kind of insecurity. According to Verywell Mind, “insecurity impacts your relationship by creating an imbalance. You become more preoccupied with what your partner is not providing and instead demand reassurance or validation for your insecurities.”
Research on insecurities in relationships shows that one partner’s internalized negative thoughts can get turned outward onto the other partner. This can manifest in jealousy, rage, and even paranoia. When that happens, it can create a difficult dynamic and lead to arguments. The other partner might feel confused and lost in the relationship.
This is exactly what the poster felt every time he tried to clear things up with his girlfriend. Whenever he told her that other people did not question him about his divorce, she would say that he was being a gaslighter. Regarding his tax returns, commenters felt that maybe the woman wanted to know how much money he was making so that she could settle with him. But he clarified things in the comments, saying, “she works in finance. I’m assuming makes more than me.”
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
The guy shared that he was going through a mental struggle about whether to end the relationship or not. He felt that they had a good connection, but all her questions reminded him of his ex, which was a red flag. Later, he ended the relationship due to encouragement from netizens. He clarified that the thing he was most bothered by was the fact that she felt he was being dishonest regardless of how much he tried to set the record straight.
According to Harley Therapy, “sometimes we think we are doubting the partner we are with, but really we are assuming certain things about our present relationship based on past experience.” This is probably what was going on in his ex-girlfriend’s mind as well. It’s likely that she brought a lot of past baggage along that caused her to doubt the man.
A good relationship can only thrive if both partners trust each other and communicate. When someone doubts their significant other, they should let themselves be vulnerable and share their insecurities with the other person. This can help strengthen their connection, and both partners will feel heard and understood.
The problem with this 3-week relationship is that the doubts started coming up too soon. Despite the poster’s reassurances, his ex-girlfriend was not ready to accept any of it. People let the guy know that the woman’s actions were not okay and that he was right to consider it a red flag. Why do you think she was so concerned with knowing his divorce and income status? Share your thoughts in the comments.
Netizens found it hilarious that the woman had mentioned that she didn’t want to play games yet she was the only one playing games
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What do you think ?
greenideas 7 months ago
I could maybe understand it if she had been lied to in the past, but she sounds tiresome.
marcelo D. 7 months ago
she can have been lied every single day of her life before and it would not be understandable for someone you dated 3 weeks to literally investigate through public records to try and see if you are lying about that something that in no way would affect them at all, and that would make zero sense for it to be a lie (he is obviously not still actively married if he is living with his brother and not the wife). She is displaying such stalkery quality and they haven't even known each other a month, imagine if a few years, when she is confortable.
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FreeTheUnicorn 7 months ago
If she won't take you at your word for basic things, she won't take you at your word for more complicated/less concrete matters - how you are feeling, what you want - or things you can prove - do you have a crush on a coworker, that you tried to get the errands done but something came up. No relationship where you have to justify and prove everything is healthy. If there's no trust, it's not worth it. Granted trust takes time to build, but demanding actual receipts on your life is not an appropriate attempt to build trust. Also not her business what you make, you aren't getting married any time soon.
greenideas 7 months ago
I could maybe understand it if she had been lied to in the past, but she sounds tiresome.
marcelo D. 7 months ago
she can have been lied every single day of her life before and it would not be understandable for someone you dated 3 weeks to literally investigate through public records to try and see if you are lying about that something that in no way would affect them at all, and that would make zero sense for it to be a lie (he is obviously not still actively married if he is living with his brother and not the wife). She is displaying such stalkery quality and they haven't even known each other a month, imagine if a few years, when she is confortable.
Load More Replies... FreeTheUnicorn 7 months ago
If she won't take you at your word for basic things, she won't take you at your word for more complicated/less concrete matters - how you are feeling, what you want - or things you can prove - do you have a crush on a coworker, that you tried to get the errands done but something came up. No relationship where you have to justify and prove everything is healthy. If there's no trust, it's not worth it. Granted trust takes time to build, but demanding actual receipts on your life is not an appropriate attempt to build trust. Also not her business what you make, you aren't getting married any time soon.
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