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When your partner tells you you've been sleep talking, it's as scary as it is intriguing. Did you reveal any secrets? Maybe you came up with the recipe for the elixir of immortality? One guy in Wichita, Kansas is talking so much and so amusingly in his sleep that his girlfriend eventually decided to start tweeting his phrases, and our funny bones can't thank her enough.

From asking a penguin for his pancakes to revealing that he's Jon Snow in disguise, this guy says so many ridiculously hilarious things, he deserves his own talk show. The Twitter account his girlfriend uses (@Sleep_Sayings) has racked up over 14,000 followers, and it deserves every single one of them. Scroll down to read some of the funniest things his unconscious mind had to say and vote for your favorites!

#5

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silem arod
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Either he hates Steve Jobs or he refers to the forbidden apple. Or just the apple hahahahahahaha

frederic eeckman
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My best friend was talking a lot during her sleep, one day she just said "Take my children. And burn them". I don't know if it was scary or hilarious :D

Elizabeth Molloy
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ha! I sleep shout abuse sometimes: "you're not so f***ing tough, are you?"

Maike
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

after a party i slept in one Bed with my younger sister. In the middle of the night she sits up recites something that has no context what so ever (tree, cat, me, why? like that) dramatically gesturing with her hands. then lays down again, gets up again and punches the wall over my head with her fist. needles to say one of us slept on the floor the rest of the night.

eezycheezes101
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When you Adam in the Bible. "I saw you take the f*****g apple of the Goddamn tree."

Kattris Langood
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Drapple; Draco Malfoy and his apple-prisoner of azkaban-care of magical creatures lesson

Mixedupste
Community Member
6 years ago

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Sorry but I didn't laugh at any of these. Guess you must have been there!

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#26

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Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

THEY ARENT ACTUALLY FRENCH FRIES THEYRE FROM BELGIUM...that's a thing you now know

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#28

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Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Things i now know about him 1. He love Teenage mutant ninja turtles 2. He probably got a dog 3. He don't like burritos(?) 4. Lots of imagination :P

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#40

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Thundor Fox
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6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Honestly, how could you fall asleep in the middle of my lecture on rabbits?

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#44

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Anne Glare
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Does that mean you're the princess of s**t or just not a very good princess?

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#57

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#72

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Marnee DeRider
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What on earth is this guy seeing? His girlfriend should plug into his head and display the dreams in video.

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#96

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Kirk Ruocco
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

even clubs cant stop him..... i have seen death an its a guy talking in his sleep

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#99

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rai mei
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i believe he's dreaming he's a cat who keeps knocking down things to the floor

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