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When your partner tells you you've been sleep talking, it's as scary as it is intriguing. Did you reveal any secrets? Maybe you came up with the recipe for the elixir of immortality? One guy in Wichita, Kansas is talking so much and so amusingly in his sleep that his girlfriend eventually decided to start tweeting his phrases, and our funny bones can't thank her enough.

From asking a penguin for his pancakes to revealing that he's Jon Snow in disguise, this guy says so many ridiculously hilarious things, he deserves his own talk show. The Twitter account his girlfriend uses (@Sleep_Sayings) has racked up over 14,000 followers, and it deserves every single one of them. Scroll down to read some of the funniest things his unconscious mind had to say and vote for your favorites!

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    #5

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    silem arod
    Community Member
    7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Either he hates Steve Jobs or he refers to the forbidden apple. Or just the apple hahahahahahaha

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    #11

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    Bryce Ferguson
    Community Member
    7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I mean, maybe he takes some advice from Markiplier. “Straight Motorboat me, NO mayonnaise.”

    Adrian Hammersmith
    Community Member
    7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Umm, why not? How d'you know if you've never tried it? It could be cleansing, or good for the skin. Or something.

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    #26

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    Community Member
    7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    THEY ARENT ACTUALLY FRENCH FRIES THEYRE FROM BELGIUM...that's a thing you now know

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    #28

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    Community Member
    7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Things i now know about him 1. He love Teenage mutant ninja turtles 2. He probably got a dog 3. He don't like burritos(?) 4. Lots of imagination :P

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    #40

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    Thundor Fox
    Community Member
    7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Honestly, how could you fall asleep in the middle of my lecture on rabbits?

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    #44

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    Anne Glare
    Community Member
    7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Does that mean you're the princess of s**t or just not a very good princess?

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    #57

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    #72

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    Marnee DeRider
    Community Member
    7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What on earth is this guy seeing? His girlfriend should plug into his head and display the dreams in video.

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    #96

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    Kirk Ruocco
    Community Member
    7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    even clubs cant stop him..... i have seen death an its a guy talking in his sleep

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    #99

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    rai mei
    Community Member
    7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i believe he's dreaming he's a cat who keeps knocking down things to the floor

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