Girlfriend Tweets Weird Things Her Boyfriend Says During His Sleep, And It Will Make You Die From Laughter

When your partner tells you you've been sleep talking, it's as scary as it is intriguing. Did you reveal any secrets? Maybe you came up with the recipe for the elixir of immortality? One guy in Wichita, Kansas is talking so much and so amusingly in his sleep that his girlfriend eventually decided to start tweeting his phrases, and our funny bones can't thank her enough.

From asking a penguin for his pancakes to revealing that he's Jon Snow in disguise, this guy says so many ridiculously hilarious things, he deserves his own talk show. The Twitter account his girlfriend uses (@Sleep_Sayings) has racked up over 14,000 followers, and it deserves every single one of them. Scroll down to read some of the funniest things his unconscious mind had to say and vote for your favorites!

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Desiré Yen 6 years ago

Best u ask Pennywise that question!

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Socially Awkward 6 years ago

I've womdered that too!

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Socially Awkward 6 years ago

*wondered

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Mn gooze 6 years ago

Cause of ducks man, they be watching.

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Elyse Enger 6 years ago

Not surprised. People often find them creepy.

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Anne Glare 6 years ago

Maybe ask Sam Winchester perhaps?

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rai mei 6 years ago

Exactly.. why clowns?

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Gillian Black 6 years ago

been to the movies havent you

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Greta is a Photo Editor-in-Chief at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication.In 2016, she graduated from Digital Advertising courses where she had an opportunity to meet and learn from industry professionals. In the same year, she started working at Bored Panda as a photo editor.Greta is a coffeeholic and cannot survive a day without 5 cups of coffee... and her cute, big-eared dog.Her biggest open secret: she is a gamer with a giant gaming backlog.

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What do you think ?

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Megan 6 years ago

My mother once told me that i said “ Tonight is the night.... I’ll get the bird u get the dog , we’ll kill EVERYONE!!!!! and then i decided to scream “ Spaghetti!!!! Spaghetti!!!! Spaghetti!!!!!!

29points

TC 6 years ago

Hahaha haha hahahaha

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Socially Awkward 6 years ago

My dad talked in his sleep once: Dad: It's a fish. Mom: What's a fish? Dad: IT'S A FISH! IT SAYS IT RIGHT HERE IN THE RULE BOOK!

13points

Long Joan Silver 6 years ago

I laughed so hard that I snorted

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SJ_Panda_love 6 years ago

One of my friend who was a sleep walker and talker both, got up at 3 AM, called 911 and told operator, "I buried all of them in my backyard". Well rest you can imagine. P.S. There were no bodies, nothing!

10points

Long Joan Silver 6 years ago

Oh gosh

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Zori the degu 6 years ago

My sister a few moments after she woke up: " Zori, it's your cat toilet. Me(eyeing her with confusion): ....... My sister: "Zori, it's your cat toilet!" Me: "Yana, you alright(in Bulgarian language, with the appropriate intonation, this simple phrase can freely be used in the meaning of "Do you have your brains in place?")? My sister(with a wide smile and proud voice): "No." Again my sister but this time soundly asleep yells: "Zori, where's the cloud machine?". I laughed so hard I literally woke her up. This time my friend's story: Her father, trying to wake her up: Ani, you must go to school..." Ani(suddenly punching the air and her father's face with her fist):"Chanterelle!" I bet that living with someone who constantly says such weird things while sleeping is never boring.

9points

Long Joan Silver 6 years ago

LOL! I talk in my sleep too, only if someone tries to talk to me whilst I'm asleep. Once, after getting home pretty late on a school night after a school dance competition; my mother tried to wake me up to go to school. Mum: are you going to school today? Me: no, the girls did that LOL!

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Misterscooter 6 years ago

Freud would have a field day with this guy.

7points

Alira 6 years ago

he'll give up his psychology degree because of this guy.

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ADHORTATOR 7 years ago

my daughter talked in her sleep very often...she continued arguing with her brother " DONT' T EAT MY HAIR!!!"

7points

Rachael Clawson 6 years ago

All the joking aside, if a person constantly talks in their sleep on a consistent/nightly basis, that usually means they're not sleeping deeply enough. The chances they have sleep apnea are very high. If ya'll haven't done so, I implore you to have a sleep study done for your loved one. It might be funny, but not being able to sleep properly can significantly shorten a person's life and cause many nasty diseases and conditions.

6points

Just Curious 6 years ago

Not so.

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Just Curious 6 years ago

I hate to sound like a jerk but, as funny as these things sound, why should we believe they are real and not just made up to attract twitter "followers"?

6points

well 6 years ago

yeah, it seems to happen too often to believe it, that he says fun s**t in his sleep.. Though, it's funny to read the comments about what really did happen to others:)

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Full Name 6 years ago

I'm straight but I would absolutely sleep with this guy just to hear the insanity.

6points

A Ghost 6 years ago

What does being straight have to do with anything?

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Madeline Tuohey 6 years ago

Did anyone else notice they were all posted at like, 4:00 am? Poor Caitlyn.

5points

Sivi 6 years ago

Lets see what I have done in my sleep; -Mom stopped me from using the bathtub as a toilet, I said ok and went back to bed with my pants down. -My friend woke up from getting it with something. She sees me sitting in bed with ALL of my pokemon figures in my lap. she asks what the hell I was doing and I said "Go pikachu!" threw a pikachu figure at her, laughed and fell back on my pillow. I was very confused when I woke up with a bed full of pokemon figures and looking at a unhappy friend. -my classmates told me that I once yelled "I AM A PRINCESS ON A PINK FLUFFY CLOUD!" in my sleep.

4points

Jennifer .S 6 years ago

He dreams about animals A LOT

3points

Aquamarine 6 years ago

Me, half awake: IT'S NOT THE SAME BRAND OF BACKPACK!!!

2points

Deniz Aygün 6 years ago

My bf once said when he was asleep, "2 toasts and a football field got married" well, well..

2points

Potatohead 6 years ago

one time (according to my mom) she came up to kiss me goodnight. i sat straight up in bed and screamed at the top of my lungs "AHOY THERE MATEY" then promptly flopped back down

2points

Long Joan Silver 6 years ago

HAHAHAHAHA! That would probably be something that I would do!

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Dawn Mannie 6 years ago

Bahahahahaha, these are brilliant!!

2points

Pi... 6 years ago

I said fifty fish....stupid giraffe!

2points

CelSlade 6 years ago

Two of my sisters shared a room I had to walk through to get to mine. They would have huge, rambling, nonsensical arguments with each other while I stood there giggling my a**e off. Sometimes they would seem to almost make sense and I wouldn't be sure if they were awake, so I'd check my younger sister's pose - she always half sat up with one arm in the air when she was sleeptalking. Great times :P

2points

moli.2 6 years ago

They told me once that I was sleep walking around the room and repeating: "What time is it? What time is it?" They told me that it is 3 o'clock and then I went back to sleep. Next day I met my boyfriend who I am with for 7 years. It was first and last time I was sleep walking (at least I hope)

2points

SiYuan 6 years ago

I once said "Dad? Dad, where are the batteries?" while I was sleeping next to a friend. Another time I screamed "MOM!!!!!" so loud, that I actually woke up to it, and my mom rushed over from two rooms away to see what was wrong.

2points

Sean Klapperich 6 years ago

I had a girlfriend once do this. Held an entire conversation with her once while she was asleep, in which I was both threatened that I'd kick my own a*s, and criticized for coming home so late. Despite the fact that I was in the room the entire time.

1point

Rebecca Willingham 6 years ago

They all seem to focus around food,animals,body parts and sex mostly I would love to see what his dreams are actually like to him

1point

Chooky Leanne 6 years ago

I got told I sat up in bed and said "Space Time Continium" Think I been watching too much Star Trek lol

1point

makenzie stephenson 6 years ago

Once i was told that in my sleep i started screaming, GET OUT OF MY ROOM LILY!!!!! Lily(my sister said back) why this is both of our rooms. I apparently answered LOOK WHAT HAPPEN WEINBERICK LILY GOT MAD AT ME SEE I TOLD YOU IT WAS A BAD IDEA TI TELL HER SHE DOESNT BELONG

1point

Thegreatcountryofverden 6 years ago

Hilarious.

1point

mewmew34 6 years ago

My roommate talks in his sleep sometimes, but I can never make out what he's saying. :(

0points

MewMew 6 years ago

My cousin once was talking about dried plums.

0points

Lu 6 years ago

Dr.seuss bedtime stories and mushrooms will do this.

0points

Vhonda Moore 6 years ago

She should write.

0points

Alice Lynch 6 years ago

Food and animals.. in his dreams.. aww XD

0points

Sydni William 6 years ago

This seems fake, your husband seems to dream about a variety of "classically funny" and typical animals a lot.

0points

Mikel Struga 6 years ago

Does she stay awake every night, taking notes?

0points

Carin Huber 6 years ago

Meh, he's got nothing on Sleep Talking Man.

0points

Phoebe The Great 6 years ago

clickbait, I didn't laugh at all, but that's just me.

0points

Full Name 6 years ago

This guy has the best dreams. I would dread waking up if I was him. He needs to write these down as soon as he wakes up.

0points

Núria Rp 6 years ago

My brother told me I once said: "kill, blood" And my mother heard me say: "experiment"

0points

Marvie Bailey 6 years ago

I love how often he dreams of animals ! I honk it's a good omen :)

0points

PsychoPrincess 6 years ago

Apparently I think that if you scream in the middle of the night you need to yell every number is random except for 7 because you know 7 is the only number that cannot be read

0points

PsychoPrincess 6 years ago

Random not read

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Yezid Puerto 6 years ago

many of them are very hostile with her

0points

PsychoPrincess 6 years ago

That's because he's asleep and has no filter. And when she responds it's slowly interrupting his sleep cycle which might be making him irritable while he's unconscious. And at that point he doesn't realize it's his partner or anybody specific he's just reacting instinctively

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Echo 6 years ago

R.I.P

-1point

Kim Lorton 6 years ago

None made me crack a smile.. weird not funny

-1point

Alusair Alustriel 6 years ago

While my better half doesn't talk, I had to scold him after yet another time when I woke up in the middle of the night seeing him hovering above me and eagerly embracing me to carry me out of bed, cause we had to run. Sweet, but man, leave me alone, the house ain't burning! Other times he walks around for a bit, then sits, then goes to sleep. He's a ligth sleepwalker ;)

-3points

Martin Fitzpatrick 6 years ago

This is funny. I've woke myself up a few times talking s**t and even managed to listen to myself a few times Has this guy been in the forces as it could be he's seen some s**t? I've not been in the military myself I'm just saying

-3points

Thai Ya Long 6 years ago

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Hari Onago 6 years ago

In which asian country do you live? Because it's totally normal in Japan, at least.

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Anasirch (Takogami) 6 years ago

Not here in the Philippines. There's a few who still are conservative but most are now doing that. Of course we cannot control how the oldies judge us when we do but this is already 2017 :D

5points

well 6 years ago

ahaha cute^^

0points

Misterscooter 6 years ago

Depends on who you ask.

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Megan 6 years ago

29points

TC 6 years ago

Hahaha haha hahahaha

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Socially Awkward 6 years ago

My dad talked in his sleep once: Dad: It's a fish. Mom: What's a fish? Dad: IT'S A FISH! IT SAYS IT RIGHT HERE IN THE RULE BOOK!

13points

Long Joan Silver 6 years ago

I laughed so hard that I snorted

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SJ_Panda_love 6 years ago

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Long Joan Silver 6 years ago

Oh gosh

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Zori the degu 6 years ago

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Long Joan Silver 6 years ago

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Misterscooter 6 years ago

Freud would have a field day with this guy.

7points

Alira 6 years ago

he'll give up his psychology degree because of this guy.

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ADHORTATOR 7 years ago

my daughter talked in her sleep very often...she continued arguing with her brother " DONT' T EAT MY HAIR!!!"

7points

Rachael Clawson 6 years ago

6points

Just Curious 6 years ago

Not so.

0points

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Just Curious 6 years ago

I hate to sound like a jerk but, as funny as these things sound, why should we believe they are real and not just made up to attract twitter "followers"?

6points

well 6 years ago

yeah, it seems to happen too often to believe it, that he says fun s**t in his sleep.. Though, it's funny to read the comments about what really did happen to others:)

6points

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Full Name 6 years ago

I'm straight but I would absolutely sleep with this guy just to hear the insanity.

6points

A Ghost 6 years ago

What does being straight have to do with anything?

-2points

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Madeline Tuohey 6 years ago

Did anyone else notice they were all posted at like, 4:00 am? Poor Caitlyn.

5points

Sivi 6 years ago

4points

Jennifer .S 6 years ago

He dreams about animals A LOT

3points

Aquamarine 6 years ago

Me, half awake: IT'S NOT THE SAME BRAND OF BACKPACK!!!

2points

Deniz Aygün 6 years ago

My bf once said when he was asleep, "2 toasts and a football field got married" well, well..

2points

Potatohead 6 years ago

one time (according to my mom) she came up to kiss me goodnight. i sat straight up in bed and screamed at the top of my lungs "AHOY THERE MATEY" then promptly flopped back down

2points

Long Joan Silver 6 years ago

HAHAHAHAHA! That would probably be something that I would do!

0points

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Dawn Mannie 6 years ago

Bahahahahaha, these are brilliant!!

2points

Pi... 6 years ago

I said fifty fish....stupid giraffe!

2points

CelSlade 6 years ago

2points

moli.2 6 years ago

2points

SiYuan 6 years ago

2points

Sean Klapperich 6 years ago

1point

Rebecca Willingham 6 years ago

They all seem to focus around food,animals,body parts and sex mostly I would love to see what his dreams are actually like to him

1point

Chooky Leanne 6 years ago

I got told I sat up in bed and said "Space Time Continium" Think I been watching too much Star Trek lol

1point

makenzie stephenson 6 years ago

1point

Thegreatcountryofverden 6 years ago

Hilarious.

1point

mewmew34 6 years ago

My roommate talks in his sleep sometimes, but I can never make out what he's saying. :(

0points

MewMew 6 years ago

My cousin once was talking about dried plums.

0points

Lu 6 years ago

Dr.seuss bedtime stories and mushrooms will do this.

0points

Vhonda Moore 6 years ago

She should write.

0points

Alice Lynch 6 years ago

Food and animals.. in his dreams.. aww XD

0points

Sydni William 6 years ago

This seems fake, your husband seems to dream about a variety of "classically funny" and typical animals a lot.

0points

Mikel Struga 6 years ago

Does she stay awake every night, taking notes?

0points

Carin Huber 6 years ago

Meh, he's got nothing on Sleep Talking Man.

0points

Phoebe The Great 6 years ago

clickbait, I didn't laugh at all, but that's just me.

0points

Full Name 6 years ago

This guy has the best dreams. I would dread waking up if I was him. He needs to write these down as soon as he wakes up.

0points

Núria Rp 6 years ago

My brother told me I once said: "kill, blood" And my mother heard me say: "experiment"

0points

Marvie Bailey 6 years ago

I love how often he dreams of animals ! I honk it's a good omen :)

0points

PsychoPrincess 6 years ago

Apparently I think that if you scream in the middle of the night you need to yell every number is random except for 7 because you know 7 is the only number that cannot be read

0points

PsychoPrincess 6 years ago

Random not read

0points

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Yezid Puerto 6 years ago

many of them are very hostile with her

0points

PsychoPrincess 6 years ago

4points

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Echo 6 years ago

R.I.P

-1point

Kim Lorton 6 years ago

None made me crack a smile.. weird not funny

-1point

Alusair Alustriel 6 years ago

-3points

Martin Fitzpatrick 6 years ago

-3points

Thai Ya Long 6 years ago

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Hari Onago 6 years ago

In which asian country do you live? Because it's totally normal in Japan, at least.

11points

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Anasirch (Takogami) 6 years ago

Not here in the Philippines. There's a few who still are conservative but most are now doing that. Of course we cannot control how the oldies judge us when we do but this is already 2017 :D

5points

well 6 years ago

ahaha cute^^

0points

Misterscooter 6 years ago

Depends on who you ask.

0points

Girlfriend Tweets Weird Things Her Boyfriend Says During His Sleep, And It Will Make You Die From Laughter

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Greta Jaruševičiūtė

Greta Jaruševičiūtė