Next time she threatens to kill herself, call 911/999 and have her put on a psych hold. That will give you time to move out and to somewhere far, far away.

Threatening to kill yourself if a relationship ends is just another form of abuse. This woman is already abusing him in so many ways, and he has become numb to it. It's just his every day life. This guy needs to escape. If she does decide to kill herself, that is her decision, not his.

As someone who went through 17 years of arguments before divorcing, please, please x please end this abusive relationship as soon as possible. Work out an exit plan and make it happen.

This is textbook abuse, gaslighting and emotional blackmail, the full package. It doesn't matter if she has BPD, she is an adult and responsible for her own actions. Not YOU. Go get help!

The sad thing is he moved in with her knowing she was psycho.

She's nuts and not going to get better without some serious help. Unless you are absolutely committed to the time, expense, probably frequent and many set backs, you should probably end things. This sounds exactly like my sister. She was finally diagnosed as a bi-polar schizophrenic and it took YEARS just to get her medication right.

The girlfriend would do well to get screened for Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria. If she does have it, there are medications - and of course therapy - that could help.

She desperately needs help. Even with BPD, this kind of behavior is irrational. OP should look at getting her some kind of psychiatric help but it may require some sort of monitoring or restraint, because she's not going to do it on her own. It's definitely not a relationship that either of them are committed to, but he needs to get out from under her control.

She is ill, and will drain you if you stick around.

8 months and they are living together? Most of the time I say to each their own. But the threatening to unalive herself and trying to prove it by cutting is unhinged. She needs more help than OP can give her. We all have past trauma, but this... wow. I agree with the people who said OP is in an abusive relationship.

You ABSOLUTELY KNOW it's not normal for one partner to have to know where the other is at all times! & The screenshots of the text showed just how irrational she is. I was shocked to realize, from other people's comments, that she isn't in therapy! She must have been at one time or she wouldn't know she has BPD - or has she ever actually been diagnosed? But you have to get out of there & have no contact with her ever again. Make your arrangements for another place to live & for moving. Tell her you're breaking up because 1) You cannot be with someone who doesn't trust you & expects to know where you are every minute of the day. You have never given her any reason not to trust you & if somebody cheated on her in the past that has nothing to do with you. She should get professional help for dealing with past trauma & with her trust issues; 2) You can't be with somebody who threatens suicide as a way to control you. If she is having suicidal thoughts she should call a suicide hotline or go to an ER. If she decides she wants to commit suicide, that's strictly her decision & you will not blame yourself for it;; 3) You're not able to deal with or help someone who has BPD & can't be expected to. She needs to find professional mental health care. And, yes, it's going to be a miserable, horrible event, drana, hysterics, & the suicide threat. When that starts, call 911. (She needs more than a 72-hr hold - she needs to be hospitalized. If her parents are in the picture, let them know what's taken place . & Move out. With no further contact - block her. Warning: If she doesn't get stabilized with professional help, she may become your stalker or cause all sorts of other problems for you. Be prepared to get the police involved & find an appropriate attorney you can call if it comes to that. I'm very sorry she has this condition but you can't help her or improve the situation. You deserve better but you're the only one who can make that happen. I'm surprised this relationship ever started - after being around her a few times it should have been obvious that something wasn't right & you didn't want to be involved with her. And there's nothing in your post that says anything positive abt her, nor is there any mention of love or affection between the 2 of you. You want, & need, to be out, & I think you know it. Have courage & do what needs to be done, for your own sake.

BPD is not a scapegoat. She needs meds/new meds/new dosage. I’m in a long term relationship with someone that has BPD. He has moments. He has never been abusive to me. If I forget to text him when I get to work he’ll text me 30 min later asking if I’m ok. I’ve had a bad year for car accidents.