Sounds like her family might be hoarders. Living in filth really affects a child's mental health and if she grew up like that she may need therapy to relize it's not a hygienic or normal way to live.

You could chew this issue to death but this is how she has been brought up, it's acceptable to her, she does not even feel uncomfortable about you seeing it, this is how she is comfortable living you won't change her, if you stay with her your life will become one of constant angst unless you can lower your standards not everyone who lives in filthy has issues some people are just lazy

I lived her life with my family. I escaped it. And she can learn; I've battled my "training" very consciously and conscientiously for two decades plus. I am now far, far cleaner than i was, and far, far less tolerant of disorganization and dirt. I am also far happier every time i walk into a clean room.

People who live like that neglect their health also and their kids health..

It could be that she is very embarrassed about the state is the house and would be very embarrassed to have you clean it and is just repeating what she's heard her parents say when other people have asked about it. It may not be a choice she is making (what was the state of her own room?) as she may be stick with her parents habits. I'd start the conversation with how much you care for her and also say that it's ok if this conversation is hard for her and you hope she'll feel comfortable being open about her feelings whatever they are. If she truly doesn't "get it" maybe watch one of those shows with her where they test houses like this and find dangerous germs. Talk about how this would affect your life not just your relationship but not being able to have friends over etc. Also please don't bring your parents there to eat or stay. If my child brought me to a house like that I would not stay to eat or sleep. And I'm sure it could cause a lot of drama but I just couldn't do it. Don't put your parents in that position.

OP only provided a few photos (some are seen above), to prove his claims. A hard to reach, slightly grimy bathroom corner, a dirty window ledge, and a dusty plastic storage box. There are 2 more photos not included here, a picture of towel (that looks perfectly clean), and a dead cockroach (in close up, so you can't tell where the pic was taken). These 5 photos don't remotely convey the "filth" he describes in his post. As anyone familiar with Reddit knows, 90% of posts are either fake or highly exaggerated, as it's all about getting "karma" points

He should absolutely dely the parental meeting, and explain to her exactly why. She needs that wake up call that that filth is unacceptable and that she will have to raise her standards to remain in the relationship. Op should prepare himself for her to have a tantrum and show weaponized incompetence. For all he knows, she may be a lazy spoiled entitled brat and her parents are sick of her not contributing. Her reaction will determine the direction they bead in next, this is a crossroad for their relationship. He may look back on this and be thankful that he advocated for himself without lowering his standards and finding that he dodged a bullet. Cleanliness standards can be a sign of incompatibility, it's important to pay attention to red flags and to trust our instincts. How did the gf not notice his reaction to utter filth? Does he want to spend next decade as her maid before he sees her for what she is? She may be a manipulative, lazy person, and just faking at good hygiene

I met my best friend when we were both freshmen at UCLA. We lived in a three bedroom suite, with four others in the other bedrooms, and somehow our suite became a big party spot ( a 15 story private coed dorm that's now a very expensive hotel). But we did have a maid come every week, which was part of the deal. My friend was always messy, but we still managed to keep the place presentable. My sophomore and junior year I lived alone in my own apartment. But when we were going to be juniors, he convinced me to share a very luxurious apartment across the street from campus. One of my only conditions was that we keep the place clean. Most of the time, it was. But I remember coming back from a long weekend with my girlfriend, and the place was literally trashed from a party he had. I was pissed and immediately went into my bedroom. He got the clue, and cleaned up. But, when the school year was up, I decided to have my own apartment again. Sometimes even best friends can't live together!

Ew. No go. I can deal with my husband being a clutter monger. I cannot deal with dirty.

People are so f'ing judgmental.

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Your house his a shithole and I hope to never set foot in there again. If you think this is even close to being clean then we are done.