While it’s important to keep relationships fun and exciting, some things between partners are better kept serious. Not all areas of life are on the table when it comes to joking, and even when you think you know your significant other well, teasing can still sometimes feel hurtful, hindering the relationship as a result. 

For a while, this woman had an issue with her boyfriend constantly pulling pranks, but she kept giving him chances for his other redeeming qualities. That is, until he went completely too far and faked a proposal, sending her running for the hills.

Some things are better kept serious in a relationship

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However, this guy didn’t get the memo with his constant pranks, which resulted in him getting dumped and humiliated

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Humor is the secret ingredient to a successful and long-lasting relationship

Numerous studies have long proved that humor is the secret ingredient to a successful and long-lasting relationship. “Humor between partners is both a lubricant that oils the gears of our relationships and a social glue that binds us,” said Steven Sultanoff, a psychology professor at Pepperdine University. “It signals our ongoing interest in each other as well as compatibility, cooperation and commitment.”

Those couples who can laugh together are generally more satisfied with their relationship, are more likely to engage in healthy and direct communication, and are better listeners. They are also better equipped to manage stress and deal with rough patches in life. 

The keywords here are ‘laughing together’ because shared laughter is more about enjoying something you both find funny and less about one being a jokester and the other feeling belittled, ridiculed, or hurt. “People say they want a sense of humor in a mate, but that’s a broad concept,” Jeffrey Hall, University of Kansas associate professor of communication studies, said. 

“That people think you are funny or you can make a joke out of anything is not strongly related to relationship satisfaction. What is strongly related to relationship satisfaction is the humor that couples create together. If you share a sense of what’s funny, it affirms you and affirms your relationship through laughter.”

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It’s important to keep teasing and joking positive in a relationship

It’s important to keep teasing and joking positive in a relationship, as malign humor towards significant others can foster toxicity. “Having an aggressive sense of humor is a bad sign for the relationship in general, but it is worse if the style of humor is used in the relationship,” Hall said. “If you think that your partner tells mean-spirited jokes, then it’s likely you’ve seen that firsthand in your relationship.”

Negative humor like put-downs, sarcasm, and mockery are generally seen as aggressive, judgmental, and hostile by partners. In fact, it was found that antisocial humor from men and self-defeating humor from women were some of the signs that the relationship isn’t going to last. 

If a partner senses that teasing or joking is hurting the relationship, they should immediately address it by being honest and saying they dislike the remarks they receive. Having a direct approach and telling them that their jokes are hurtful and unacceptable can yield positive results. 

Hall concludes everything by saying that it’s good to have humor, but it’s better to see it in your partner, and best to share it. “It’s not about being a great comedian, but finding what’s funny in the everyday and enjoying it together, whether that’s ‘The Simpsons’ or repeating funny things your kids say or The New Yorker cartoons or relishing in the absurdity of life. It is most important you do it together.”

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The readers sided with the girlfriend on this one

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