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GF Takes Shots At BF’s Shortcomings In Front Of Her Friends, He Tells Her She’s Welcome To Leave
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GF Takes Shots At BF’s Shortcomings In Front Of Her Friends, He Tells Her She’s Welcome To Leave

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Sometimes couples don’t see eye to eye, but such matters are best dealt with in private. Berating each other in public, especially in front of friends, makes it awkward for everyone. Relationship issues won’t necessarily be resolved any sooner if there are witnesses involved. 

For one Redditor, he was shocked when his girlfriend pointed out several of his shortcomings at a gathering with her friends. Unimpressed, the guy told her afterwards that she could leave if she wasn’t satisfied. Now he’s asking the internet if that was a jerk move.     

More info: Reddit

Guy went to cookout with his girlfriend and her stuck-up friends

Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)

Girlfriend proceeded to highlight a number of his flaws over the course of the evening

Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)

He said he always pays her the biggest compliments when his friends are around

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Image credits: Racool_studio (not the actual photo)

Afterwards, the guy asked his girlfriend why she had insulted him so much, but she said she was just kidding around

Image credits: u/DebtContent1218

He told his girlfriend she could leave if she wasn’t satisfied with the relationship, but now wonders if that was a jerk move

OP begins his story by telling the community that he and his girlfriend went to a cookout with her friends. He admits that she is out of his league and that he considers himself only average and that, while he doesn’t really know her friends, they seem a bit stuck up.

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During the course of the evening, he noticed that his girlfriend didn’t compliment him once. Instead, she took the opportunity to knock him verbally, insulting everything from his receding hairline and tattoo to the car he drives and his lack of endurance for staying up late at parties.

OP says that, while there’s some truth to her snide remarks, all he ever does when they hang out with his friends is constantly compliment her. 

When the couple got home, OP asked his girlfriend what was up with all the nasty comments, but she said she was just kidding around and that he was being a child about it. OP proceeded to tell her that she was welcome to leave him if he was so inadequate. Now he’s turned to Reddit to ask if that was a jerk move. 

Knowing when to go and when to stay in a romantic relationship can be a tough decision for anyone. 

The simple truth is that feelings of uncertainty and conflict can also be part of any so-called ‘normal’ relationship. You can, at times, feel like you’re stuck in a sort of love limbo, unsure whether you should pull the trigger on it or put renewed effort into making things work out.

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Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)

In her article for Time, author Carly Breit writes that the feelings caused by romantic love can be so strong, they can convince people to stay in relationships that are unhealthy, unfulfilling and ultimately unhappy — whether they realize it or not.

In fact, a 2015 study published in Frontiers in Human Neuroscience found that, when people looked at photos of their romantic partners, dopamine — a chemical associated with reward that makes people feel good — was released in their brains.

Julie Wadley, founder and CEO of matchmaking and coaching service Eli Simone, says, “The way these chemicals make people feel can make them overlook logical decisions like leaving an unsatisfying relationship.” 

So, how do you know when it’s time to break it off with someone you love? 

According to Wadley, everyone has different needs that have to be met in a relationship, whether they be emotional or practical. If one partner feels the other isn’t making an effort to meet these requirements after they’ve spoken about it clearly several times, it’s possibly time to move on. 

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Another sign it might be time to call it quits is if you find yourself seeking these needs from others. “If you’re like, ‘I have a choice between talking to my boyfriend and talking to my guy friend, the guy who is constantly giving you that emotional affirmation that I need — I’m going with the friend,’” Wadley says, “Something’s not right.” 

If you’re feeling afraid to ask your partner for more from the relationship, it’s probably time to end things.

Wadley says open lines of communication are crucial to healthy, lasting partnerships. “People may think, ‘That’s going to make me sound needy and emotional,’” says Wadley, but hiding your real feelings about how your partner is behaving towards you will only draw out the inevitable.

Another red flag to look out for is if your friends and family don’t support your relationship. If the people who know you best and have your best interests at heart see that the person you’re in love with is bringing you down, listening to their opinions is a good idea.  

What do you think of the situation OP finds himself in? Do you think his girlfriend was showing her true colors? Was he being a jerk by offering to show her the door? Let us know your opinion in the comments!

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Redditors in the comments suggested that what the girlfriend had done was a big waving red flag and that he deserves someone who can appreciate him

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Ivan Ayliffe

Ivan Ayliffe

Writer, BoredPanda staff

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After twenty years in advertising, I've decided to try my hand at journalism. I'm lucky enough to be based in Cape Town, South Africa and use every opportunity I get to explore everything it has to offer, both indoors and out. When I'm not reading, writing, or listening to podcasts, I spend my time swimming in the ocean, running mountain trails, and skydiving. While I haven't travelled as much as I'd like, I did live in !ndia, which was an incredible experience. I love live music, whether it's in a massive stadium or an intimate club setting.

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Ivan Ayliffe

Ivan Ayliffe

Writer, BoredPanda staff

After twenty years in advertising, I've decided to try my hand at journalism. I'm lucky enough to be based in Cape Town, South Africa and use every opportunity I get to explore everything it has to offer, both indoors and out. When I'm not reading, writing, or listening to podcasts, I spend my time swimming in the ocean, running mountain trails, and skydiving. While I haven't travelled as much as I'd like, I did live in !ndia, which was an incredible experience. I love live music, whether it's in a massive stadium or an intimate club setting.

Monika Pašukonytė

Monika Pašukonytė

Author, BoredPanda staff

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I am a visual editor here. In my free time I enjoy the vibrant worlds of art galleries, exhibitions, and soulful concerts. Yet, amidst life's hustle and bustle, I find solace in nature's embrace, cherishing tranquil moments with beloved friends. Deep within, I hold a dream close - to embark on a global journey in an RV, accompanied by my faithful canine companion. Together, we'll wander through diverse cultures, weaving precious memories under the starry night sky, fulfilling the wanderlust that stirs my soul.

Read less »

Monika Pašukonytė

Monika Pašukonytė

Author, BoredPanda staff

I am a visual editor here. In my free time I enjoy the vibrant worlds of art galleries, exhibitions, and soulful concerts. Yet, amidst life's hustle and bustle, I find solace in nature's embrace, cherishing tranquil moments with beloved friends. Deep within, I hold a dream close - to embark on a global journey in an RV, accompanied by my faithful canine companion. Together, we'll wander through diverse cultures, weaving precious memories under the starry night sky, fulfilling the wanderlust that stirs my soul.

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Fox with a Dragon Tattoo
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And she even tossed in a nice little bit of gaslighting to blame him for being insulted and called him a child? Insults, gaslighting, projection, ungrateful and rude behavior, immaturity, terrible friends who would encourage that? Exactly why would you stay with that? Sounds like a human tire fire.

Nancy Whiting
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My experience in life--and my advice to my (now adult) kids is this: Smart and funny wears better than cute. Words to live by.

Donald
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When your self-worth is entirely dependent on your appearance and material possessions that's the sort of attitude you get. Generalizations are ugly, but I've yet to meet a "hot" chick who wont immediately go for your looks or how much money you have as their preferred insults. Run OP, find someone with character and substance, not some vapid materialistic narcissist.

Chelsea McKee
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd like to say that being interested in beauty and decent self-presentation isn't always indicative of a toxic personality. People have different interests. However yes, certain traits will exhibit themselves more often in a certain subset of people, which shouldn't happen. There should be more to your existence than how you look, and depending on your age this behavior can be extremely embarrassing.

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Fox with a Dragon Tattoo
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And she even tossed in a nice little bit of gaslighting to blame him for being insulted and called him a child? Insults, gaslighting, projection, ungrateful and rude behavior, immaturity, terrible friends who would encourage that? Exactly why would you stay with that? Sounds like a human tire fire.

Nancy Whiting
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My experience in life--and my advice to my (now adult) kids is this: Smart and funny wears better than cute. Words to live by.

Donald
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When your self-worth is entirely dependent on your appearance and material possessions that's the sort of attitude you get. Generalizations are ugly, but I've yet to meet a "hot" chick who wont immediately go for your looks or how much money you have as their preferred insults. Run OP, find someone with character and substance, not some vapid materialistic narcissist.

Chelsea McKee
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd like to say that being interested in beauty and decent self-presentation isn't always indicative of a toxic personality. People have different interests. However yes, certain traits will exhibit themselves more often in a certain subset of people, which shouldn't happen. There should be more to your existence than how you look, and depending on your age this behavior can be extremely embarrassing.

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