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“Do Not Speak To Me”: Girl Is Sick And Tired Of Boy’s Attention, Writes Him A List Of Rules To Follow Around Her
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“Do Not Speak To Me”: Girl Is Sick And Tired Of Boy’s Attention, Writes Him A List Of Rules To Follow Around Her

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Adults often forgive kids for their behavior because they are young and don’t know better. This is definitely true, but it is important to react, because how will they know better if we don’t point out what they’re doing wrong?

Emotional intelligence is key to raising successful people and it seems that this girl is on the right path as she communicated to a boy who annoyed her that she doesn’t want to have contact with him by setting clear boundaries.

More info: Twitter

RELATED:

    Girl in 5th grade was not interested in a boy who kept showing her attention, so she wrote a list of rules to keep him away

    Image credits: olia danilevich (not the actual photo)

    Many people struggle with setting boundaries and the thought of it causes stress or anxiety, but at the same time, when others cross those boundaries, they feel the same way. Dr. Erin Eatough, an occupational health psychologist, says that the most common reason for struggles to set a boundary is that people don’t know how to do it or are unsure about what is reasonable.

    It seems that this 5th grader doesn’t have this problem, because when she became annoyed by a boy showing her unwanted attention, she wrote 7 rules and regulations for him to follow and expressed her irritation openly.

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    A while ago, a woman shared a letter her friend who works as a teacher was shown by a student

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    Image credits: WhosDenverJones

    Image credits: Ceri_turns

    The list was posted by Cydni Jenkins, whose friend is a 5th grade teacher and sent it to her. It went viral in 2016 both on Twitter and in the media as the whole concept was unexpected, let alone the rules and how clearly the girl could express her emotions. The topic is still relevant 7 years later and the letter is as surprising today as it was then.

    The letter is titled Rules + Regulations and is addressed to Noah from Zoë. They are both in 5th grade, but in separate classes, as the Twitter user told BuzzFeed after the teacher got her hands on it when the boy gave it to her.

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    The letter was written by a girl and addressed to a boy who liked her and kept trying to spend time with her

    Image credits: LadyGamer955

    Image credits: StanFritz

    Image credits: RODNAE Productions (not the actual photo)

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    From what we can gather, Noah likes Zoë, as she mentions in the 7th rule, and keeps showing her attention, touching her and playing with her, which she finds annoying. When Noah gave the letter to his teacher, he told her that she liked Zoë because he admired how smart she was.

    But the girl didn’t feel the same way about Noah and explained in her letter that she has a short temper with people and Noah keeps ruining her day by playing with her. If her day is ruined one more time, she says, she will have to go to counseling, so that is why she is asking Noah to stop interacting with her. She won’t even accept a greeting.

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    The letter specified the behavior the girl didn’t appreciate and was quite direct

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    As for consequences for Noah if he breaks any of the rules, he would have to face the adults because Zoë would simply report him. To make sure she gets her point across, she asks Noah to reread the rules 500 times and clearly states that she isn’t interested in him.

    Although the idea of the letter is smart and shows that Zoë was taught about boundaries, people couldn’t help but notice how sassy she was and their favorite was the 3rd rule: “Do not speak to me unless it’s a greeting, which will be never” so some of them felt a bit bad for Noah.

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    Mostly she wanted to be left alone and didn’t even want the boy to greet her

    Image credits: Joe Shlabotnik (not the actual photo)

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    Those commenters pointed out that the girl was being rude because they assumed the “fake mom” is her stepmom and believed she will grow up cynical and needs counseling now. Others responded to that and thought that they are saying that just because Zoë is a girl, and if a girl is anything but gentle even when rejecting someone, they are mean.

    That goes back to Dr. Erin Eatough’s explanation about how people can’t set boundaries because they simply don’t know what is too much to ask for. Is a girl asking a boy not to greet her too much, or is she simply looking after her mental health because she’s on the edge after tolerating his behavior for so long?

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    Twitter users were quite impressed by how eloquent the girl was and how she didn’t leave any room for misinterpretation

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    Image credits: hollylowejones

    Image credits: jdog90 (not the actual photo)

    Fresh Hope Counseling admits that “Putting boundaries in place can feel like you are being rude” and it may feel like you’re doing something wrong when you’ve just started. They explain that it’s just because this is something new that you are not used to, but in nature, their purpose is not to offend someone.

    What could make you feel bad about it is also other people’s reactions, because you might face resistance and you might be called selfish. But if you compare boundaries to a fence around your home to prevent a neighbor from walking their dog on your lawn, you wouldn’t call it selfish, but just protecting your property. And boundaries are there to protect yourself.

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    They also applauded her for setting boundaries and loved the strict tone in which they were delivered

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    Psychotherapist Sharon Martin says it loud and clear that it’s not mean or rude to set boundaries. And the negative reaction you get to them solely depends on the other person because they don’t like that you’re not agreeing to something.

    Dr. Martin adds, “remember that when others call you mean or selfish, it’s often a manipulation tactic, an attempt to get you to do what they want. Stand true to your boundaries, even if others don’t like them.”

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    Image credits: LoveGardeningPB

    Image credits: Nenad Stojkovic (not the actual photo)

    It may truly be hard to set boundaries even if we really don’t want to do something, even if we know we’ll hate doing it, and we know that we are creating precedent to be asked something similar in the future, but despite being aware of boundary benefits, we still freeze up at the fear of confrontation or letting someone down.

    Maybe this 5th grader will inspire you to tell people what in their behavior makes you uncomfortable or leads you to realize that you need to stop talking to someone who constantly ruins your day. Let us know if this has happened to you and what are your thoughts on the rule list and the tone of the letter in general.

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    Jurgita Dominauskaitė

    Jurgita Dominauskaitė

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    Having started as a content creator that made articles for Bored Panda from scratch I climbed my way up to being and editor and then had team lead responsibilities added as well. So it was a pretty natural transition from writing articles and titles as well as preparing the visual part for the articles to making sure others are doing those same tasks as I did before well, answering their questions and guiding them when needed. Eventually I realized editing gives me the most enjoyment and I'm focusing only on that right now.

    Read less »
    Jurgita Dominauskaitė

    Jurgita Dominauskaitė

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Having started as a content creator that made articles for Bored Panda from scratch I climbed my way up to being and editor and then had team lead responsibilities added as well. So it was a pretty natural transition from writing articles and titles as well as preparing the visual part for the articles to making sure others are doing those same tasks as I did before well, answering their questions and guiding them when needed. Eventually I realized editing gives me the most enjoyment and I'm focusing only on that right now.

    Saulė Tolstych

    Saulė Tolstych

    Author, Community member

    Read more »

    Saulė is a photo editor at Bored Panda with bachelor's degree in Multimedia and Computer Design. The thing that relaxes her the best is going into YouTube rabbit hole. In her free time she loves painting, embroidering and taking walks in nature.

    Read less »

    Saulė Tolstych

    Saulė Tolstych

    Author, Community member

    Saulė is a photo editor at Bored Panda with bachelor's degree in Multimedia and Computer Design. The thing that relaxes her the best is going into YouTube rabbit hole. In her free time she loves painting, embroidering and taking walks in nature.

    What do you think ?
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    POST
    ThreeAngryLlamas
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm guessing people insisting this is fake don't spend much time with fifth graders. Sure, some wouldn't be capable of this, but some of the ones I teach 1000% would.

    Bonesko
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Damn! Good on you Zoe! That boy needs to learn to respect boundaries and that NO MEANS NO! Yeah, he's a kid, but I, along with alot of other people, have had to endure guys not respecting my boundaries, or accepting NO as an answer. I've heard a couple of times after turning a guy down saying 'I have a boyfriend', and they respond 'well I don't see your boyfriend here'. It's gross. We should be discussing with young men about consent and respecting boundaries earlier. Because those boys grow up, and continue to not respect a woman's decision.

    3 Owls In A Coat
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Amen! I’m also going to start threatening people with “I’m going to call my dad, my mom’s friend, my fake mom and a janitor I know”

    Load More Replies...
    RomanceRadish
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The adults in these children's lives need to intervene, work to understand the situation, then apply action & support appropriately.

    Lydia Almquist
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The only thing that needs to be understood is that the girl doesn't want to be bothered by the boy period. That's all the adults need to know. IMO Your comment is just another adult saying let's work something out to spare the boys feelings.

    Load More Replies...
    Load More Comments
    ThreeAngryLlamas
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm guessing people insisting this is fake don't spend much time with fifth graders. Sure, some wouldn't be capable of this, but some of the ones I teach 1000% would.

    Bonesko
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Damn! Good on you Zoe! That boy needs to learn to respect boundaries and that NO MEANS NO! Yeah, he's a kid, but I, along with alot of other people, have had to endure guys not respecting my boundaries, or accepting NO as an answer. I've heard a couple of times after turning a guy down saying 'I have a boyfriend', and they respond 'well I don't see your boyfriend here'. It's gross. We should be discussing with young men about consent and respecting boundaries earlier. Because those boys grow up, and continue to not respect a woman's decision.

    3 Owls In A Coat
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Amen! I’m also going to start threatening people with “I’m going to call my dad, my mom’s friend, my fake mom and a janitor I know”

    Load More Replies...
    RomanceRadish
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The adults in these children's lives need to intervene, work to understand the situation, then apply action & support appropriately.

    Lydia Almquist
    Community Member
    1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The only thing that needs to be understood is that the girl doesn't want to be bothered by the boy period. That's all the adults need to know. IMO Your comment is just another adult saying let's work something out to spare the boys feelings.

    Load More Replies...
    Load More Comments
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