“It Felt Playful And Harmless”: Woman Bullies Her Crush, Thinks She’s Flirting Until He Cries
Thanks to our DNA, we are all born different. But even though we inherit countless traits we can’t change, they often become something others ridicule, particularly because they seem unusual or not up to society’s standards. Height is a common one that people frequently feel comfortable mocking, which doesn’t seem as humorous to those who have to endure it from every person they meet.
This Reddit user was too constantly teased about her tallness but learned over time to toughen up and not take it too seriously. So she felt like she could do the same to her male friend, who was about 5’2. However, one joke of hers pushed him over the edge, and he finally confronted her about it.
People often feel too comfortable mocking someone else’s height
Image credits: BGStock72 (not the actual photo)
This woman used to do it to her friend too until he finally snapped
Image credits: Wavebreakmedia (not the actual photo)
Image credits: anonymous
“Height is something none of us can control, but we may be treated differently by people due to it”
Psychologist Carly Dober says that our height, or lack thereof, has the potential to negatively affect our confidence. “Height is something none of us can control, but we may be treated differently by people due to it,” she says.
Shorter people report being treated like children, being spoken down to, or even denied specific job opportunities because of their height. In fact, research has found that taller men and women are seen more as ‘leader-like’ in the workplace, which also correlates with higher income.
Such treatment can impact a person’s self-confidence, especially if they’re surrounded by taller people who make them “the butt of the joke.” “They will internalise this and feel small emotionally,” says Dober.
She also mentions that height matters so much to us, and we can feel frustrated when someone mocks it because it’s one of our traits that we can’t control.
“There aren’t many characteristics we cannot work on to change in some way if we are dissatisfied with them,” she says. “We like to feel in control of our lives, and to not have control over something many passers-by or strangers may comment on can feel disempowering.”
Image credits: Pixabay (not the actual photo)
“That’s actually kind of offensive, and I’d appreciate you not mocking my height in the future”
But even though people can’t grow or shrink on demand, there are a few things they can do to embrace it and help their body image.
Dober suggests looking inside oneself and asking why certain beliefs about shorter people occur. “Explore where your messages came from that infer shorter people are ‘lesser than,’” she says. “Practice untangling your self-worth from how tall you are, and ask yourself what other characteristics and traits you have that are helpful to the world around you, and that you do like.”
Essentially, it’s all about your mindset and attitude. Some people might be confident with their height by wearing bold colors or make-up, which makes them feel like they’re taking up more space. Others might be more assured of themselves if they practice saying something to those who comment on their height, like “That’s actually kind of offensive, and I’d appreciate you not mocking my height in the future.”
It might also be beneficial to find shorter people online who express appreciation for their 5-foot frame so others don’t feel alone. With plenty of people on TikTok, Instagram or Facebook, doing that is easier than ever. Plus, it’s worth remembering that a person’s height or insecurities surrounding it shouldn’t make up their whole personality. Even though they statistically may be lacking height, they’re as capable of being loud, great, smart, and bold as anyone else out there.
Image credits: Andrew Neel (not the actual photo)
The majority of readers thought that making fun of her friend was a jerk move
While some she believed wasn’t wrong for friendly teasing the guy
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YTA full stop. Grandson, among a family of 6 ft + males, has growth hormone deficiency. Even with hormone treatment he'll never crack 5'2". he's bullied as a kid and will likely be have a difficult time dating, etc. As folks said elsewhere, it wears a person down until they break
So he body shamed him in public, in an upscale environment and then wondered if she is at fault... LOL
Bullying, then laughing about it, doesn't make everything better. (Neither does flowers, btw)
Load More Replies...What she did was absolutely wrong, but I think it's unfair how the people here condemn her. She has learned from her family that teasing is how you show affection and that it must be accepted. Whatever you learn from your family is your "normal". Her friend has never given her a reason to realize how hurtful he thinks her teasing is. In the moment where she realized that, she apologized and promised never to do it again. That's a great way to deal with a situation where you hurt someone.
I grew up in a family like that. We aren't bad people, we just have sharp wit - and sometimes we take it too far. She was making jokes, he was making jokes. She didn't know he was taking them to heart, and when she found out, she apologized and resolved not to do that again. To me that shows a lot of maturity and growth, so I'm glad that it all worked out.
If it involves making children cry on the regular it's not okay m
Load More Replies...YTA and a bully. My son is almost seventeen and only 5ft4 and he is super self-conscious about his height. It's not nice to take the p**s out of people, especially about aspects of themselves they literally have no control over.
Yes, OP was an ahole to the guy, BUT she didn't realize what she was doing. She was raised by a family who saw bullying as a sign of affection and taught her to think the same. Not to mention, the guy purposely hid his hurt feelings from her. How was she supposed to know she was hurting him? Now, of course, if she hadn't apologized and tried to defend herself, she would've totally be an ahole, but she apologize and promised to never do it again. And he forgave her! They even admitted their feelings for eachother and kissed! And she gave a really good, sincere apology imo. So, I think everyone, Reddit and BP, are being way too hard on this woman. People make mistakes and they can still grow from that. Being an ahole on Reddit does not make someone a horrible person. Most of the time.
Very much this! It's very hard to recognize that the internalized trauma from your abusive family is not okay behavior out in the real world.
Load More Replies..."I learned how to internalize the abuse I took, why can't you?" This is a perfect example of what happens in a society that doesn't allow men to express their feelings. "Man up, sissy" "don't be so fragile" etc. He put up with OP's c**p to the point that he had to go find a quiet private place to cry.
YTA full stop. Grandson, among a family of 6 ft + males, has growth hormone deficiency. Even with hormone treatment he'll never crack 5'2". he's bullied as a kid and will likely be have a difficult time dating, etc. As folks said elsewhere, it wears a person down until they break
So he body shamed him in public, in an upscale environment and then wondered if she is at fault... LOL
Bullying, then laughing about it, doesn't make everything better. (Neither does flowers, btw)
Load More Replies...What she did was absolutely wrong, but I think it's unfair how the people here condemn her. She has learned from her family that teasing is how you show affection and that it must be accepted. Whatever you learn from your family is your "normal". Her friend has never given her a reason to realize how hurtful he thinks her teasing is. In the moment where she realized that, she apologized and promised never to do it again. That's a great way to deal with a situation where you hurt someone.
I grew up in a family like that. We aren't bad people, we just have sharp wit - and sometimes we take it too far. She was making jokes, he was making jokes. She didn't know he was taking them to heart, and when she found out, she apologized and resolved not to do that again. To me that shows a lot of maturity and growth, so I'm glad that it all worked out.
If it involves making children cry on the regular it's not okay m
Load More Replies...YTA and a bully. My son is almost seventeen and only 5ft4 and he is super self-conscious about his height. It's not nice to take the p**s out of people, especially about aspects of themselves they literally have no control over.
Yes, OP was an ahole to the guy, BUT she didn't realize what she was doing. She was raised by a family who saw bullying as a sign of affection and taught her to think the same. Not to mention, the guy purposely hid his hurt feelings from her. How was she supposed to know she was hurting him? Now, of course, if she hadn't apologized and tried to defend herself, she would've totally be an ahole, but she apologize and promised to never do it again. And he forgave her! They even admitted their feelings for eachother and kissed! And she gave a really good, sincere apology imo. So, I think everyone, Reddit and BP, are being way too hard on this woman. People make mistakes and they can still grow from that. Being an ahole on Reddit does not make someone a horrible person. Most of the time.
Very much this! It's very hard to recognize that the internalized trauma from your abusive family is not okay behavior out in the real world.
Load More Replies..."I learned how to internalize the abuse I took, why can't you?" This is a perfect example of what happens in a society that doesn't allow men to express their feelings. "Man up, sissy" "don't be so fragile" etc. He put up with OP's c**p to the point that he had to go find a quiet private place to cry.










































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