My father rest his soul taught me the most important thing about gifts: A gift is a gift, and once you gift, it is no longer yours to have any say over. So give money to that bum on the street, but don’t bother yourself with whether he spends it on food or d***s. If you gave it as a gift, it is his to do as he pleases. If you give money to a family member, you should be just as happy if they enjoyed shoving it down the toilet as if they used it for something truly meaningful. If you want to dictate how your gift is spent, don’t give cash, give whatever it is you want them to buy with the cash instead. But when you give cash, it belongs to them and not you anymore you need to release yourself from all attachment to it.

She should be proud that she raised a son who is thoughtful and loving to his wife. He was given a gift and his first thought was to share with his wife and I think it would have been pretty sad if he hadn’t.

Doesn't she realize that once a gift is given you no longer have any say over how it used, money especially

MIL is a twat. End of discussion.

first, i am glad that the article differentiated the fact that while women may invest in self-care more than men but that they tend to subjugate themselves when it comes to women with families. while women have become more independent than when i was growing up and being influenced by what was then the social norms, there is still an underlying influence for women to give to others than to think of themselves. that being stated, the mother in this post needs to keep her mouth shut. if she made any comment or indication that she wanted her son to use the money for his enjoyment maybe she needs to realize that her son finds the love and support of his wife (as his partner and mom to his kids) is part of what makes him happy and, therefore, sharing it with her is doing something for himself. and, i don't mean under the adage of 'happy wife, happy life'-just that 'something for himself' means seeing her happy too.

Once a gift is given the recipient can do whatever they want with it including sharing it with their partner. Mom thinks women treat themselves, but generations of women were taught to put themselves last when it comes to their family. If DIL gets a spa day then I'm all for that.

She needs to read definition of the word "gift".

He should give his dad money and tell him not to share with his mom. Or give him a weekend away with the men. Women not allowed here lol.

My mother used to get angry with me when I shared her money gifts with those less fortunate than myself. But she was the one who taught me it is better to give than to receive. She is the one who sent me to church where I learned I was supposed to share with the poor. Hypocrite much, Mom? In the end I realize the gift was something she was trying to buy for herself, daydreams of me enjoying spending it on myself, I suppose. Eventually, someone pointed out to her the money was mine after she gave it to me and therefore she no longer had any claim on how it was spent.

Unless she robbed or threatened him, why is it that much of a problem? Maybe he's more than happy to share, maybe happier than to alonespend the alonemoney. Isn't meant as alonemoney? Never had such strings visibly attached? Your son has never developed the ability to read minds? Then, just let them do, have, share whatever they want. If she is pressuring him, and I don't read this like anything of that sort happens at all, but if - they have greater problems. If not, there's exactly as much of a problem as is made out of it.

Where’s the ‘none of my business’ option on the poll?

Dear mother - what you have failed to realize is that you raised a kind and generous son who didn't want to keep it all to himself, so shared it with his wife. Because they are partners, because they are united in their marriage and parenting, because your son wants to share it, and dearie, you need to check yourself. If you'd wanted to give your son only something for himself, then buy some pajamas, and likely she'd end up wearing them as well. It's a gift.

My husband and I usually share all money given to us unless it’s for something very specific. We’re partners, we share freely. We don’t assume that the other one is going to share any money gifted, but it’s usually what happens.

My husband gets a lot of gift cards and monetary gifts as a teacher from parents. So many times he'll end up taking us both out to use it or if it's cash, he'll use it on something we need for the house. I've told him many times, "hey, this was a gift for you, you should use it on something fun for yourself," but he insists he wants to use it how he wants. OP should have a talk with her son if she really believes he's being taken advantage of, not just assume the wife did it out of greediness.

Electra complex? Son loves another woman and wants too share. He’s not yours alone any more.

Your son is a keeper. That's exactly why he thinks of his wife first. And his wife knows. That's why she married him. For him not to share whatever he has with his soulmate is truly an oxymoron. You raised him right. Don't fock up now!

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Enough with the stupid MIL just say mother in law