She broke his trust. She texted the ex. She slept with the ex. She wanted to go to school so quit her job. She moved in w him and together they had 7+ yrs as a couple. Now the ex has nothing to offer so no idea why she would boff him. And she lost the best of her life. A home. A man. A future. He's right to keep her away til it's proven for a fact he's the father or if she's smart she will end the pregnancy an restart her life with out the burden an trauma that will go on an into raising a kid with two separate parents. Yeah he will be a great dad. Priorities good. But it shouldn't be forced on someone because of a situation like this. Unfair to him and the kid. But not the ex who may or may not have her ex's kid and not ops. Don't hate on me for suggesting an abortion. It's always an option. Or adoption. If it's the ex guys an op has no obligations.

She's the AH and he's under no obligation to forgive her. He's certainly not responsible for her education or her financial situation.

This post is 7 years old lol

She's definitely in the wrong. Maybe a conversation would be helpful here so that they could at least end on goodish terms for the sake of their kid, but there's no reason to continue the relationship or even continue to be friends. I also am confused as to why she never paid rent after living with him for probably at least 5yrs

Yeah, done and gone. Cut her off entirely. I have seen not one, but multiple relationships like this where one partner puts the other through med school and pays for everything only to get dumped after residency. So common, and so usurious even without the cheating. The latter is often a part of it though. Yuck!!

Here's my issue with all of this (and I absolutely may be biased because the entire idea of pregnancy is terrifying to me)... If this all happened -after- she got pregnant, is it possible that she got scared about everything the pregnancy would mean? This is the start of an entire 20-year chapter in her life, and there's a lot of blood and pain involved less than a year down the road that's now inevitable. My guess is, she panicked at that thought and didn't want to tell OP because he wanted kids so bad.... But then who could she turn to for support, if she can't tell her partner? It doesn't make it right in any case, and if he doesn't love her, he absolutely doesn't have to stay with her, pregnant or no. I'm just saying she may not have been out to -actively hurt- OP with this.... And pregnancy hormones are probably giving her hell right now on top of all this.... This much stress in early pregnancy is a recipe for trouble....

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I love how everyone is like she has tenet rights. By this logic a husband can't be kicked out of the house even after beating his wife. If the place is under his name and she tries to live with him with out his consent, bad things will happen. Murders have happened under these circumstances.

Question, I don't know the system regarding that: What would happen if he refuses to sign the birth certificate (disregarding if he's the father or not)? Is refusing to sign a way to bail out of paying child money (since it's so prominently mentioned) or for something completely else?

Breakup makes sense. But. Fact that he's also trying to ignore both sets of parents, ignore all texts, ignore her until his probable child is born, no-contact breakup... guy has an avoidance problem. Took several days and pressure from 5 people to deliver the message he's a father. She's an a*****e for cheating, he's an a*****e for...whatever the term is for this childishly avoidant passive aggressive behavior. Something's off with him. He thought she "would be the mother of MY future children" -- not our/their future children, just his future children -- then ghosts her on a second's notice...sounds like she's been disposable all along. Wonder why she was hesitant about committing even tho they've discussed marriage & kids? Maybe she sensed something. Something's off here.

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He had great reason to "divorce" her. But again, a theme of mine here on BP: Marriage isn't about the state affirming who you choose to love, nor is it about a bride's reveling in being treated like a queen for a brief while. It's about the legal rights and obligations from a shared life. The gf built a life... and she screwed it up... but she still should have some basic human rights. That they chose not to formalize their relationship now harms her disproportionately. As justified as his anger is, an adulterer within a marriage would not be so subject to the whims of their spouse's anger

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