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“I Don’t Do Ultimatums”: Guy Breaks Up With GF After She Accuses Him Of Living With A ‘Woman’
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“I Don’t Do Ultimatums”: Guy Breaks Up With GF After She Accuses Him Of Living With A ‘Woman’

“I Don’t Do Ultimatums”: Guy Breaks Up With GF After She Accuses Him Of Living With A ‘Woman’Guy’s Girlfriend Suspects His Roommate Is Trans, Gives Ultimatum And Ends Up SingleGuy Breaks Up With GF After She Blows A Fuse Over His Maybe-Trans Roommate: Guy’s Girlfriend Demands He Verify His Roommate Is Trans, He Dumps Her InsteadWoman’s Insecurity Leads To Wild Ultimatum: BF Needs To Check Roommate’s Gender Or Get DumpedWoman Won’t Stop Prodding Boyfriend About Roommate’s Gender: “Just Ask If He Was Trans”Girlfriend Demands Background Check On Boyfriend’s Roommate: “He Has To Be Trans”Guy Refuses To Kick Out Trans Roommate After His GF Freaks Out: “Had A ‘Female’ Living With Me”Woman Freaks Out That Her BF's Roommate Might Be Trans, Gives Him UltimatumWoman Thinks BF's Roommate Is Trans, Freaks Out:
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As decent human beings, we’re expected to respect each other’s privacy and avoid prying into others’ personal lives. But one Redditor’s girlfriend seemed to think she was an exception.

Suddenly suspecting that his roommate might be transgender, she spiraled into a series of demands, pressuring him to find out and even suggesting he kick the roommate out. Soon enough, however, the situation escalated, and it all backfired in a way she hadn’t expected.

After suspecting that her boyfriend’s roommate might be transgender, the woman insisted he be kicked out

Image credits: varyapigu (not the actual photo)

However, her demands soon backfired in ways she didn’t see coming

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Image credits: DragonImages (not the actual photo)

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Image credits: Image-Source (not the actual photo)

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Image credits: drlaw_raleighnc (not the actual photo)

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Image source: ThrowawayJason7723

Challenges commonly faced by the transgender community

Image credits: Inti Tupac Liberman Ares (not the actual photo)

While it’s inspiring to see OP stand up for his roommate, discrimination against transgender people remains a significant issue that affects their well-being and even puts their lives at risk.

“The biggest human rights issue facing the trans and gender diverse community is safety,” says Mill O’Sull, Head of Trans and Gender Diverse Outreach at Minus18. “Hundreds of transgender people are killed around the world each year, and there are still a number of countries where gender diversity is treated as a crime.”

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According to the Human Rights Campaign (HRC), violence against trans individuals is far more common than many might realize. Over half (54%) have experienced some form of intimate partner violence, 47% have been sexually assaulted in their lifetime, and almost one in ten were physically assaulted between 2014 and 2015. As O’Sull points out, this kind of violence can be deadly. So, it’s no wonder that a report by Beyondblue and La Trobe University found 43% of trans and gender-diverse people don’t feel safe on the street, and 32% feel unsafe on public transport.

“Some of the greatest barriers for transgender people come from discriminatory policies and laws,” O’Sull adds. “Bathroom access is a good example. In the US, bathroom legislation has turned into a political battleground for conservative politicians. In states like Alabama and North Carolina, toilet usage is restricted to a person’s gender assigned at birth, exposing trans women to greater risks of physical and sexual violence.”

Healthcare inequality is another serious obstacle. An HRC Foundation analysis found that 22% of trans people, and 32% of trans people of color, lack health insurance coverage. Additionally, over one-quarter (29%) of trans adults have been denied healthcare by a doctor or provider due to their gender identity.

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Many organizations and advocates are working hard to address these challenges and raise awareness, but there’s still a long way to go. As the HRC notes, “While advocates continue working to remedy these disparities, change cannot come too soon for trans people.”

Commenters took the man’s side, labeling his girlfriend a bigot and questioning if their relationship was ever healthy to begin with

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Oleksandra Kyryliuk

Oleksandra Kyryliuk

Writer, BoredPanda staff

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Kyiv-born, Vilnius-dwelling writer with a suitcase full of curiosity. My Master's in International Communication fuels my love for exploring different stories. Whether I'm putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard), you might catch me out and about with my film camera, cycling around, or on a quest for the perfect coffee spot. Occasionally seen trying to find inner peace on the yoga mat.

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Oleksandra Kyryliuk

Oleksandra Kyryliuk

Writer, BoredPanda staff

Kyiv-born, Vilnius-dwelling writer with a suitcase full of curiosity. My Master's in International Communication fuels my love for exploring different stories. Whether I'm putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard), you might catch me out and about with my film camera, cycling around, or on a quest for the perfect coffee spot. Occasionally seen trying to find inner peace on the yoga mat.

Ieva Pečiulytė

Ieva Pečiulytė

Author, BoredPanda staff

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I'm a Visual Editor for Bored Panda. I’m also an analog collage artist. My love for images and experience in layering goes well with both creating collages by hand and working with digital images as an Editor. When I’m not using my kitchen area as an art studio I also do various experiments making my own cosmetics or brewing kombucha. When I’m not at home you would most definitely find me attending a concert or walking my dog.

Read less »

Ieva Pečiulytė

Ieva Pečiulytė

Author, BoredPanda staff

I'm a Visual Editor for Bored Panda. I’m also an analog collage artist. My love for images and experience in layering goes well with both creating collages by hand and working with digital images as an Editor. When I’m not using my kitchen area as an art studio I also do various experiments making my own cosmetics or brewing kombucha. When I’m not at home you would most definitely find me attending a concert or walking my dog.

What do you think of the Redditor's decision to support his roommate over his girlfriend?
Add photo comments
POST
Bec
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OP and Alex sound like delightful young men, girlfriend can GTFO and not come back.

Load More Replies...
arthbach
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The right decision was made. Keep the polite, chill roomate, and ditch the abusive, controlling, suspicious girlfriend.

Belandriel
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dark mode is now "premium"? Well... farewell then, fellow pandas!

Ai
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes, whenever I close an ad, I get a popup with an ad of "premium." I don't mind ads; I understand this is not a charity, but the popup is just killing me.

Load More Replies...
TribbleThinking
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You are fundamentally a decent human. By refusing to be transphobic, you inadvertently outed your abuser and freed yourself. Good for you!

BTDubs
Community Member
2 days ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OP got rid of toxic gf and gained a respectful friend. Best swap ever

FreeTheUnicorn
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If your partner doesn't trust you to live with someone else, it's not the roommate that's a problem. You have a controlling partner that doesn't trust you, and won't. They'll just become more controlling. In this case the partner is controlling and also a bigot. (Bigotry is actually one of the predictors of abuse) Good that she showed her true colours before things got too serious.

zovjraar me
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

omg i'm trying not to cry. what a goddamn wholesome guy. i hope he finds someone who appreciates him. people like him give me hope for humanity.

Kristen Sharp
Community Member
1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OP, you're a wonderful guy. For treating Alex like a human being whether male or female. Like you said "Alex is Alex".

Andrew
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good job dude. Faith restored in humanity, at least temporarily

Jocelyn Webster
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OP you did the ultimate good guy thing. Do not feel ashamed for choosing the privacy of a fellow gentleman over a harsh girlfriend. Some people just need to mind their own, clean their own backyard, before snooping into someone else's. It's not her decision who you live with or what their chosen gender is. Thank you for kick this bigot to the road.

Andrew Arons
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Finding a roommate who's quiet, cleans up after themselves, and pays their portion of the rent on time is the trifecta. And as time goes by, if Alex feels comfortable to share, he'll share.

varwenea
Community Member
11 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Team OP and Alex!! Let's give Alex a shoutout. Think about it. When OP is telling Alex about gf's crazy, what is Alex concerned with? He asked about OP's wellbeing, if he was abused, and offered his therapist. Alex is the kind of friend everyone would be lucky to have.

Gen X Feral
Community Member
15 hours ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hold the phone central!!! He says just some "slapping, pushing and shoving" but that's not abuse!!! What in the actual fcking fck! If someone puts their hands on you, in any way, shape or form that's not in a loving way IT IS ABUSE ffs!!! Man this makes me wanna sláp his momma, pûnch the hell outta the girlfriend and hug the stuffing outta this poor guy, maybe buy him a pony 😢

Pamacious
Community Member
1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Girlfriend is a toxic bigot who sounds dangerous, as in have made trouble for Alex once she'd had confirmation. OP did the right thing, seems to have found a good friend as well as roommate, & is moving forward with better info about identifying & defending himself from abuse.

Max Fox
Community Member
1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It ended up strangely wholesome. The OP accepted Alex, and protected him when he could, and then Alex ends up helping the OP deal with his own demons. I think that both Alex and the OP have found the perfect housemates.

Mark Alexander
Community Member
1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Confession: I'm a boomer. Also, I love this generation. Y'all give the rational amongst us hope.

Vicki Hodges
Community Member
18 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Alex, what a great person you are. The world needs more Alexes. You’ll meet a beautiful, caring lady that shares your values

SkippityBoppityBoo
Community Member
19 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The room mate can take a long walk off a short bridge... I love that people are supportive, supporting anyone who is gay, other gendered etc... Anyone who blindly hates on another for these types of reasons?........ Sorry, not sorry, but I've absolutely no time nor will I put up with anything such as this. There's too much hate in the world already... If you're going to add more? Be ready for a whole load of hatred towards you........ Just Sayin.

KatSaidWhat
Community Member
1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"wasn't too violent"... that told me everything I needed to know about how this kid was groomed.

Roberta Surprenant
Community Member
1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

holy cow, she started grooming him when he was only about 15 and then "claimed" him as soon as he passed age of consent in their state. Hope he gets therapy to realize he was abused by her.

Rachel Hendricks
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm glad OP and Alex have a better friendship, I wonder what the statute of limitations is for him to press charges against the ex for grooming and predation? She isn't just an abuser, she's a gd predator.

Bec
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OP and Alex sound like delightful young men, girlfriend can GTFO and not come back.

Load More Replies...
arthbach
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The right decision was made. Keep the polite, chill roomate, and ditch the abusive, controlling, suspicious girlfriend.

Belandriel
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dark mode is now "premium"? Well... farewell then, fellow pandas!

Ai
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes, whenever I close an ad, I get a popup with an ad of "premium." I don't mind ads; I understand this is not a charity, but the popup is just killing me.

Load More Replies...
TribbleThinking
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You are fundamentally a decent human. By refusing to be transphobic, you inadvertently outed your abuser and freed yourself. Good for you!

BTDubs
Community Member
2 days ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OP got rid of toxic gf and gained a respectful friend. Best swap ever

FreeTheUnicorn
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If your partner doesn't trust you to live with someone else, it's not the roommate that's a problem. You have a controlling partner that doesn't trust you, and won't. They'll just become more controlling. In this case the partner is controlling and also a bigot. (Bigotry is actually one of the predictors of abuse) Good that she showed her true colours before things got too serious.

zovjraar me
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

omg i'm trying not to cry. what a goddamn wholesome guy. i hope he finds someone who appreciates him. people like him give me hope for humanity.

Kristen Sharp
Community Member
1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OP, you're a wonderful guy. For treating Alex like a human being whether male or female. Like you said "Alex is Alex".

Andrew
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good job dude. Faith restored in humanity, at least temporarily

Jocelyn Webster
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OP you did the ultimate good guy thing. Do not feel ashamed for choosing the privacy of a fellow gentleman over a harsh girlfriend. Some people just need to mind their own, clean their own backyard, before snooping into someone else's. It's not her decision who you live with or what their chosen gender is. Thank you for kick this bigot to the road.

Andrew Arons
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Finding a roommate who's quiet, cleans up after themselves, and pays their portion of the rent on time is the trifecta. And as time goes by, if Alex feels comfortable to share, he'll share.

varwenea
Community Member
11 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Team OP and Alex!! Let's give Alex a shoutout. Think about it. When OP is telling Alex about gf's crazy, what is Alex concerned with? He asked about OP's wellbeing, if he was abused, and offered his therapist. Alex is the kind of friend everyone would be lucky to have.

Gen X Feral
Community Member
15 hours ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hold the phone central!!! He says just some "slapping, pushing and shoving" but that's not abuse!!! What in the actual fcking fck! If someone puts their hands on you, in any way, shape or form that's not in a loving way IT IS ABUSE ffs!!! Man this makes me wanna sláp his momma, pûnch the hell outta the girlfriend and hug the stuffing outta this poor guy, maybe buy him a pony 😢

Pamacious
Community Member
1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Girlfriend is a toxic bigot who sounds dangerous, as in have made trouble for Alex once she'd had confirmation. OP did the right thing, seems to have found a good friend as well as roommate, & is moving forward with better info about identifying & defending himself from abuse.

Max Fox
Community Member
1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It ended up strangely wholesome. The OP accepted Alex, and protected him when he could, and then Alex ends up helping the OP deal with his own demons. I think that both Alex and the OP have found the perfect housemates.

Mark Alexander
Community Member
1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Confession: I'm a boomer. Also, I love this generation. Y'all give the rational amongst us hope.

Vicki Hodges
Community Member
18 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Alex, what a great person you are. The world needs more Alexes. You’ll meet a beautiful, caring lady that shares your values

SkippityBoppityBoo
Community Member
19 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The room mate can take a long walk off a short bridge... I love that people are supportive, supporting anyone who is gay, other gendered etc... Anyone who blindly hates on another for these types of reasons?........ Sorry, not sorry, but I've absolutely no time nor will I put up with anything such as this. There's too much hate in the world already... If you're going to add more? Be ready for a whole load of hatred towards you........ Just Sayin.

KatSaidWhat
Community Member
1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"wasn't too violent"... that told me everything I needed to know about how this kid was groomed.

Roberta Surprenant
Community Member
1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

holy cow, she started grooming him when he was only about 15 and then "claimed" him as soon as he passed age of consent in their state. Hope he gets therapy to realize he was abused by her.

Rachel Hendricks
Community Member
2 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm glad OP and Alex have a better friendship, I wonder what the statute of limitations is for him to press charges against the ex for grooming and predation? She isn't just an abuser, she's a gd predator.

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