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“I Am Getting Extremely Disappointed With My Boyfriend”: GF Exhausted As BF Keeps Ignoring Her Needs
From Prince Charming to a reality show villain? If you’ve ever felt like your partner completely transformed from the day you met them, and not for the better, you’re not alone. Sometimes, relationships are just like sailing – calm and serene one moment, then suddenly hit by unexpected storms, making you wish you’d stayed on dry land. It’s a ride filled with exciting moments, unexpected detours, and the occasional stormy weather.
This is just what the original poster of this story, who we’ll call Ava, was feeling when she took to the internet to share her story of love turned frustration.
More info: Mumsnet
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One woman, disappointed in her boyfriend who ignores her needs and tries to control everything she does, turns to the internet for some advice
Image credits: Timur Weber (not the actual photo)
The boyfriend constantly tells the woman what to do and how to look, turning everything they do together into a competition
Image credits: Applecake99
The man frequently pretends not to hear his girlfriend when she tries to have a conversation with him, leaving her frustrated
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Applecake99
Image credits: Max Avans (not the actual photo)
“This is the best pizza I ever ate”: The woman takes on pizza-making as a hobby until the boyfriend swoops in and ruins the fun, declaring his pizzas are the best
Image credits: Applecake99
The woman asked her boyfriend to help out with the dishes, as she has a bad back pain, only to later discover all the dishes still in the sink, forcing her to wash them while crying
Image credits: Brooke Lark (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Applecake99
The woman is left hurt and defeated by her boyfriend’s actions and neglect, constantly trying to calmly explain to him her feelings, but to no avail
Ava and her boyfriend have been together for about a year. While initially things were all smooth sailing, over time the boat has started rocking and our leading lady has started feeling like she’s hitting one iceberg after another. Her boyfriend somehow picked up the habit of ignoring her, to the point that he doesn’t even acknowledge her presence. One evening, Ava tried to talk to him, but he was glued to the TV, claiming he didn’t hear or understand her. Instead of asking her to repeat herself, he left her hanging, talking to herself. Well, that’s rather rude, isn’t it?
On top of that, her boyfriend has developed an intense competitive side. While Ava is laid-back, he turns everything into a contest, insisting she do things his way, whether it’s her cooking, the way she makes the bed, or even how she chooses to style her hair. This man has turned into a control freak, slowly wearing Ava down and making her feel like she can’t do anything right. “I feel like I do everything wrong,” a frustrated Ava shared.
Just as it happened with the pizza dough story. Ava was excited about her new-found hobby, learning to make pizza dough from scratch. This was a fun and personal project of hers until her boyfriend decided to swoop in and take over. After that point, every time he made pizza, he declared it “the best pizza ever,” overshadowing Ava’s efforts and enthusiasm. What was once her happy hobby now felt like another thing she couldn’t do right.
The final straw came when Ava was suffering from a terrible backache, so she asked her boyfriend to handle the dishes while she took a shower, trusting that he would get the job done. When she went back downstairs, she found the dirty dishes still in the sink, the table a mess, and the floor dirty. Her boyfriend’s complete disregard for her feelings plus a lack of effort from his side pushed Ava to tears as she washed the dishes herself, feeling completely ignored, undervalued and unsupported.
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
Although a partner might not be able to fulfill every need, the right balance between giving and taking is necessary in any healthy relationship. According to an article on dealing with an unappreciative partner, feeling appreciated in a relationship is essential in creating a sense of comfort and safety. Without it, you might face issues like resentment, or even emotional harm.
To avoid these negative outcomes, you and your partner can take steps to strengthen your relationship, starting with open communication. Your partner may be going through something you’re unaware of, so “talk about the problem with your partner calmly and honestly. Ideally, you can work together towards resolving the issue and figuring out ways your partner can make you feel appreciated. They could be very small actions like kissing you good morning or thanking you for doing the dishes,” the article explains.
In some cases, it’s possible that both partners neglect to appreciate each other, so shifting the focus to the positive actions of the partner is key in such situations. By acknowledging what your partner does well you can improve your relationship.
Ava’s story is a reminder that relationships require effort, understanding, and of course, mutual respect. Experts explain that while there are plenty of factors which contribute to a healthy long-term relationship, probably the most impactful one is mutual respect. “If both people respect each other’s intelligence, common sense, and benevolence, disagreements are more likely to be solved, bringing the couple closer. Conversely, if mutual respect is lacking, the discussion is more likely to devolve and, after the smoke clears, there’s likely even less respect and resilience to the relationship’s slings and arrows.”
What do you think of our leading lady’s predicament? How should she handle these issues? Share your thoughts and advice in the comments below.
People in the comments advise the woman to leave her boyfriend as he will probably never change and she will only end up being heartbroken in the future
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What do you think ?
notlikeyou1971 6 months ago
Time to get out of this relationship. He's selfish, controlling and is never going to change his ways. You are going to be miserable forever if you stay with a guy like this.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 6 months ago
I’m 23 years into a relationship with someone like this. The leopard does not change its spots.
Load More Replies...
Tyke 6 months ago
Sounds like a controlling narcissist... turning all her valid emotions back on to himself as a victim. Being competitive and the ignoring "because she didn't make sense" is a way of control, belittling and demeaning her and slowly but effectively eating away at her self-esteem. He is a walking red flag and she needs to get out. She also needs to stop and think, why is she with him (to avoid walking off to another red flag)
Vinnie 6 months ago (edited)
Your diagnosis sounds very, very likely. I do know of happy couples that compete (Scrabble, sandcastles, softball, whatever), but it's by consent, confined to specific hobbies, and done in the spirit of fun. For example, an athletic colleague and her spouse love playing tennis against each other and racing in the pool. However, one bakes cakes for fun, the other just likes eating them. The OP's boyfriend would p**s off my colleague by competing in *everything* and never listening. Which could end with "Race you out of this relationship".
Load More Replies...
notlikeyou1971 6 months ago
Time to get out of this relationship. He's selfish, controlling and is never going to change his ways. You are going to be miserable forever if you stay with a guy like this.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 6 months ago
I’m 23 years into a relationship with someone like this. The leopard does not change its spots.
Load More Replies... Tyke 6 months ago
Sounds like a controlling narcissist... turning all her valid emotions back on to himself as a victim. Being competitive and the ignoring "because she didn't make sense" is a way of control, belittling and demeaning her and slowly but effectively eating away at her self-esteem. He is a walking red flag and she needs to get out. She also needs to stop and think, why is she with him (to avoid walking off to another red flag)
Vinnie 6 months ago (edited)
Your diagnosis sounds very, very likely. I do know of happy couples that compete (Scrabble, sandcastles, softball, whatever), but it's by consent, confined to specific hobbies, and done in the spirit of fun. For example, an athletic colleague and her spouse love playing tennis against each other and racing in the pool. However, one bakes cakes for fun, the other just likes eating them. The OP's boyfriend would p**s off my colleague by competing in *everything* and never listening. Which could end with "Race you out of this relationship".
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