Dad Done Seeing Elder Daughter Suffer Over Her Disabled Sister, Gets Her A Kitten, Drama Ensues
Interview With ExpertPets can be a true blessing to a family. They help us strengthen our bonds, teach the kids responsibility, and provide additional opportunities for play and exercise.
However, under the wrong circumstances, animals can also become a source of stress.
Which is exactly what happened to Redditor Then-Yoghurt-6322 and his home. In an honest post on the subreddit ‘Am I the [Jerk]?‘, the dad explained that despite his best intentions, a kitten that he got for his eldest child has added a considerable amount of destruction to their everyday life.
This man got a kitten to make his daughter happy
Image credits: Alena Darmel / pexels (not the actual photo)
However, the little one’s joy might come at the mom’s expense
Image credits: Caleb Woods / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Trym Nilsen / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Joe Cleary / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Then-Yoghurt-6322
You have to think about the big picture when considering a family pet
Image credits: Yerlin Matu / unsplash (not the actual photo)
To help us make sense of what happened, we contacted Bored Panda’s parenting expert Vicki Broadbent. She is the founder of the acclaimed family blog Honest Mum and a multi-award-winning TV director and broadcaster, who can also be found on Instagram @honestmum.
“I would definitely advise against getting a pet if some of your family members are not keen,” Broadbent told us. “Pets require love, care, attention, and money, and not only is it unfair on the pet to bring him into a home where neglect might occur, but it may mean that relationships are strained.”
According to experts from the American Veterinary Medical Association (AVMA), a non-profit representing more than 105,000 vets in the US, everyone who thinks about introducing a furry, feathery, or other companion to their family needs to ask themselves a few very important questions:
- Can you afford the costs of caring for your pet? Some species or breeds of pets have special needs that may require additional expenses, including (but not limited to) food, housing, socialization, exercise, grooming, and veterinary care, so you have to make sure you can afford and are willing and able to provide for them.
- How long will you be away from your pet? Do you work long hours or travel frequently? Some pets need more frequent exercise or feeding and might not be a good choice for families who spend a lot of time away from home.
- Who will care for your pet in your absence? Consider not just short-term absences, but also plan for the long run.
- What future changes might occur in your living situation that would affect your ability to keep your pet in years to come? You would be committing to that animal for their entire life, so consider what you will do with it if you find another job, move, or change your life in some other way.
- Do local laws or your housing arrangement limit your choice of pet? If you rent, your landlord may restrict the type or number of pets you can have. Similarly, condominium and townhouse associations may also have limits put in place. If you live in a city, your choice of pet may be very different from your choice if you lived in the suburbs or the country.
- Are you able to provide the amount of attention your pet will need? Again, different species and breeds of animals have certain needs for companionship and attention that vary widely from others.
- Do you already have any pets? If so, will your current companion accept another one joining the pack?
- What are you looking for in a pet? Do you want a lap warmer or a running buddy? A pet that’s easy to care for or one that looks (and also acts) like a ballroom dancer? If you have young children, a pet that’s active at night would not be as good a choice as one that is active during the day. There are so many aspects that can affect your choice.
You can also get firsthand experience before bringing home a new pet. “I think using dog walking apps or asking a friend or neighbor if you can dog or cat sit over a period of time will help you all decide whether you have the time and energy a pet deserves,” Vicki Broadbent, the author of Mumboss (UK) and The Working Mom (US and Canada) added.
Clearly, there are many factors that influence this decision, and while we don’t know the entire picture, it sounds like the dad behind the post might’ve focused too much on one — pleasing his older daughter. That, of course, is a noble cause but maybe he could’ve found other ways to bring more joy to her life.
After all, approximately 3.2 million cats enter shelters across the US every year. We should be doing everything we can not to contribute to that number.
People who read the story believe the dad should’ve listened to his wife more
This was year ago and OP updated to say a couple of days later younger daughter pushed older daughter down the stairs and Mum blamed it on the older daughter. Dad took older daughter and kitten to a hotel and they're getting divorced. Mum had refused all suggestions like respite care or residential for violent daughter. So it ends with kitten and older daughter safe
Thank you for posting this! It’s tragic, but I was afraid the story would end with a dead kitten.
Load More Replies...ESH. Yes, getting that kitten wasn't the brightest of ideas, but at least he is trying to make his eldest daughter feel seen, if only for a moment. I get that dealing with a special needs child can be extremely challenging, but that doesn't mean his daughter's 'non-special' needs are not needs, and it sounds like mom is so overwhelmed that she has forgotten that. (edit, spelling)
I think he can easily commit to taking care of the kitten (1x/year vet, 1x/day litterbox water and dry food topup, 1x/week litterbox clean), no burden to her. Keeping it safe and entertained while older sibling in school however??
Load More Replies...Never, ever, bring a pet into an environment in which it is not safe and wanted by everyone involved!
Good news is that apparently the dad got divorced from the mom because the older sister got pushed down the stairs by the younger one, and the mom blamed the older sister for it. Dad now lives with the eldest and the kitten separately.
Load More Replies...This was year ago and OP updated to say a couple of days later younger daughter pushed older daughter down the stairs and Mum blamed it on the older daughter. Dad took older daughter and kitten to a hotel and they're getting divorced. Mum had refused all suggestions like respite care or residential for violent daughter. So it ends with kitten and older daughter safe
Thank you for posting this! It’s tragic, but I was afraid the story would end with a dead kitten.
Load More Replies...ESH. Yes, getting that kitten wasn't the brightest of ideas, but at least he is trying to make his eldest daughter feel seen, if only for a moment. I get that dealing with a special needs child can be extremely challenging, but that doesn't mean his daughter's 'non-special' needs are not needs, and it sounds like mom is so overwhelmed that she has forgotten that. (edit, spelling)
I think he can easily commit to taking care of the kitten (1x/year vet, 1x/day litterbox water and dry food topup, 1x/week litterbox clean), no burden to her. Keeping it safe and entertained while older sibling in school however??
Load More Replies...Never, ever, bring a pet into an environment in which it is not safe and wanted by everyone involved!
Good news is that apparently the dad got divorced from the mom because the older sister got pushed down the stairs by the younger one, and the mom blamed the older sister for it. Dad now lives with the eldest and the kitten separately.
Load More Replies...
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