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Gender And Sex – They Are Two Different Things
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Gender And Sex – They Are Two Different Things

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I have a gender creative son. His name is Cian and he’s 5 years old.

My son identifies as a boy and he loves to wear dresses. You read that correctly. He’s a BOY and he wears dresses. My son is not confused. He is not Gay or Transgender. I do not force this on him. It has and always will be HIS choice. He is happy, healthy, well adjusted and confident.

I discuss this further in my other Bored Panda Blog post that went viral here.

I’ve learned a lot in the last month. I’ve had many conversations and have met many amazing people.

Something that has come to my attention is a recent article about a fellow Canadian who is determined to have it documented that their child be gender-less.

Given the situation with my son, I’ve found this story interesting.

I can see WHY there is a desire for this. I can also see all of the positive things with wanting to have an option of no gender on official records.

I get it. I really do.

But….

There IS a need to tell us apart biologically. Mainly for health issues and for purposes of reproduction. Here is where a lot of people start confusing your SEX with your GENDER.

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Yes, in the past those two things went hand in hand and there wasn’t a difference. Well, we, as a society, have evolved very far from that.

I support this Canadian family in their ideals that their child’s gender should be something that is defined by the child as they grow and develop. But, I also firmly believe that children and other members of society NEED to have their sex as a part of their identity.

Why? We are biologically made differently. Yes, granted, with hormone treatments/blockers/surgeries etc etc some of those things can be changed, but at the end of the day, there will ALWAYS be a “male” and a “female” counterpart for reproduction purposes.

I will add that as technology evolves, this idea may become dated lol. I’m aware of that. But, as it stands, a “male” cannot carry a child in their body and a “female” cannot ejaculate sperm. All of this has to do with our SEX.

Not our GENDERS. So, a Woman can indeed have a “male” reproductive sex and a Man can have a “female” reproductive sex. And this is OK!!! We also function differently and need different medical care. So, in an emergency or at the hospital, people NEED to know what sex you are.

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How we look or how we present ourselves to the world should have nothing to do with our reproductive sex.

Moving forward as a society, I think there needs to perhaps be more of a focus on separating our SEX from our GENDER. On official documents it should have SEX: Male or Female (considerations are already made for people who are hermaphrodites) and then have GENDER: the examples here can be endless or simply have Man, Woman, Irrelevant.

My son knows he’s a boy because he has a male SEX.

He also identifies his GENDER as being a boy (currently… no one can know what the future holds), but he knows that his gender doesn’t define him. He can be whoever he wants to be.

He currently is fascinated with the fantasy that one day he’ll be able to carry a baby in his belly like his mummy carried him…. as stated above, who knows what the future holds.

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Crystal Kells

Crystal Kells

Author, Community member

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Creative Mind and Photographer behind Kells' Natural Photography, Mother to my amazing trans daughter, Lucky Wife to my ever-loving and supportive husband.

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Crystal Kells

Crystal Kells

Author, Community member

Creative Mind and Photographer behind Kells' Natural Photography, Mother to my amazing trans daughter, Lucky Wife to my ever-loving and supportive husband.

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Miraculous Klutz
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You have a beautiful creative son. Cherish him. I hope he does not run into issues when he reaches school age.

Stephanie Voss
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

All i think this is trying to say is how stereotypical people end up being in life due to media and what everyone thinks a boy and a girl should dress or look like... Im pretty sure its not trying to say most boys should dress like a girl but be happy with anything and overall still be a boy even in a dress. And how people should be more supportive and except others how they are. Ofcourse as a parent its our job to point our children where you feel they should go but at the end of they day they are still themselves and when they grow up it shouldent be frowned upon and to let them know this at an early age.

Debra Starr Moon
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I applaud you for allowing your son to do what makes him happy and not forcing him into a gender stereotype. I commented on the article you referenced, saying that biologically we are born either male or female based on the 23rd chromosome and referenced the importance of acknowledging this even if solely for medical purposes, but received much negativity in response to my comment. You said it so much better! I agree wholeheartedly.

Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Since I am not able to edit this or update it, I have found this post VERY interesting on shedding some light for me on this subject :) https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10210710231328070&set=a.1105170865634.2016216.1117621311&type=3&theater 21369135_1...e026f6.jpg 21369135_10210710231328070_8254334228406938524_n-59bd679e026f6.jpg

Kaylee Cobb
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My boys are 24 & 23 and wore dresses. Identify as male & straight. Kids are not different now, it's just trendy to make it visible. Relax.

Hiruya
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree with you completly. And then I thought, that here we have only one word for both things, which makes it difficult, if we don't want to use the english gender.

Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes! Agreed! Perhaps that needs to change... I had one person suggest that we identify more with our chromosomes then??? I thought that was an interesting idea

Load More Replies...
John Smith
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

riiiight, his choice...he couldn't possibly be getting these ideas anywhere else...like say his mom posting this exploitive drivel online

Ben Smith
Community Member
7 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Wtf?? He does NOT love to wear dresses. He doesn't know what he loves. You LET him and probably smiled so he must love the response he gets. It is your JOB as a parent to teach your children...you don't just let them do whatever the hell they want because "being free is good." You're ridiculous and I feel bad for your son when kids in school torture him because of your lack of care in parenting

Cat Lady
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Some boys do genuinely love to wear dresses. He may or may not be one of these. Please stop being a jumping-to-conclusions arsehole

Load More Replies...
Miraculous Klutz
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You have a beautiful creative son. Cherish him. I hope he does not run into issues when he reaches school age.

Stephanie Voss
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

All i think this is trying to say is how stereotypical people end up being in life due to media and what everyone thinks a boy and a girl should dress or look like... Im pretty sure its not trying to say most boys should dress like a girl but be happy with anything and overall still be a boy even in a dress. And how people should be more supportive and except others how they are. Ofcourse as a parent its our job to point our children where you feel they should go but at the end of they day they are still themselves and when they grow up it shouldent be frowned upon and to let them know this at an early age.

Debra Starr Moon
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I applaud you for allowing your son to do what makes him happy and not forcing him into a gender stereotype. I commented on the article you referenced, saying that biologically we are born either male or female based on the 23rd chromosome and referenced the importance of acknowledging this even if solely for medical purposes, but received much negativity in response to my comment. You said it so much better! I agree wholeheartedly.

Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Since I am not able to edit this or update it, I have found this post VERY interesting on shedding some light for me on this subject :) https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10210710231328070&set=a.1105170865634.2016216.1117621311&type=3&theater 21369135_1...e026f6.jpg 21369135_10210710231328070_8254334228406938524_n-59bd679e026f6.jpg

Kaylee Cobb
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My boys are 24 & 23 and wore dresses. Identify as male & straight. Kids are not different now, it's just trendy to make it visible. Relax.

Hiruya
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree with you completly. And then I thought, that here we have only one word for both things, which makes it difficult, if we don't want to use the english gender.

Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes! Agreed! Perhaps that needs to change... I had one person suggest that we identify more with our chromosomes then??? I thought that was an interesting idea

Load More Replies...
John Smith
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

riiiight, his choice...he couldn't possibly be getting these ideas anywhere else...like say his mom posting this exploitive drivel online

Ben Smith
Community Member
7 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Wtf?? He does NOT love to wear dresses. He doesn't know what he loves. You LET him and probably smiled so he must love the response he gets. It is your JOB as a parent to teach your children...you don't just let them do whatever the hell they want because "being free is good." You're ridiculous and I feel bad for your son when kids in school torture him because of your lack of care in parenting

Cat Lady
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Some boys do genuinely love to wear dresses. He may or may not be one of these. Please stop being a jumping-to-conclusions arsehole

Load More Replies...
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