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Homophobic Couple Ask “Dear Abby” For Advice On Gay Neighbors, Get A Lesson On Bigotry Instead
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Homophobic Couple Ask “Dear Abby” For Advice On Gay Neighbors, Get A Lesson On Bigotry Instead

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Why people choose to write to ‘agony aunts’ in an effort to solve their problems, I’ll never know. Because why talk it through with friends and family when you can have it published in a newspaper for all to see? Sometimes I think that it’s all a big scam that newspapers pull to titillate their readers with scandal, some of the scenarios are just beyond belief at times.

Image credits: Dear Abby

That being said, the “Dear Abby” advice column has become something of a national institution. It started way back in 1956 by Pauline Phillips under the pen name “Abigail Van Buren,” and has been featured in thousands of newspapers over the years. Pauline passed away in 2013 aged 94, and her contribution to American life and culture was recognized with a “Hollywood Walk of Fame” star.

Image credits: Wikipedia

Now run by Pauline’s daughter Jeanne, the column is still going strong as she continues to give “sound, compassionate advice, delivered with the straightforward style of a good friend.”

Image credits: Reddit

This entry, written by a couple “unhappy in Tampa,” seems like it could’ve quite easily have come from 1956. They felt like they were the victims of unfair treatment from their neighbors, and wanted Abby’s assurance that it wasn’t they that were, in fact, the problem.

“Dear Abby, My husband and I relocated to Florida a little over a year ago and were quickly welcomed into our new neighbors’ social whirl,” they wrote. “Two couples in the neighborhood are gay — one male, one female. While they are nice enough, my husband and I did not include them when it was our turn to host because we do not approve of their lifestyle choices. Since then, we have been excluded from neighborhood gatherings, and someone even suggested that we are bigots!”

“Abby, we moved here from a conservative community where people were pretty much the same. If people were “different,” they apparently kept it to themselves. While I understand the phrase “when in Rome,” I don’t feel we should have to compromise our values just to win the approval of our neighbors. But really, who is the true bigot here? Would you like to weigh in?”

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Turns out that Abby would like to weigh in. Living up to her motto of “delivering with a straightforward style,” Abby pulled no punches in setting this hypocritical and slightly deluded couple straight. “Dear Unhappy, I sure would,” she began. “The first thing I’d like to say is that regardless of what you were told in your previous community, a person’s sexual orientation isn’t a “lifestyle choice.” Gay people don’t choose to be gay; they are born that way. They can’t change being gay any more than you can change being heterosexual.”

“I find it interesting that you are unwilling to reciprocate the hospitality of people who welcomed you and opened their homes to you, and yet you complain because you are receiving similar treatment.”

“From where I sit, you may have chosen the wrong place to live because it appears you would be happier in a less integrated neighborhood surrounded by people who think the way you do. But if you interact only with people like yourselves, you will have missed a chance for growth, which is what you have been offered here. Please don’t blow it.”

Boom. Simmering with passive-aggressive sentiment, this classic from Abby still has people talking more than 5 years after it was first published. What do you think? Do you agree with Abby, or was she a little harsh? Let us know in the comments!

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    Here’s a sample of some people’s responses to the withering put-down

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    Mindaugas Balčiauskas

    Mindaugas Balčiauskas

    Author, BoredPanda staff

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    I'm a visual editor at Bored Panda. I kickstart my day with a mug of coffee bigger than my head, ready to tackle Photoshop. I navigate through the digital jungle with finesse, fueled by bamboo breaks and caffeine kicks. When the workday winds down, you might catch me devouring bamboo snacks while binging on the latest TV show, gaming or I could be out in nature, soaking up the tranquility and communing with my inner panda.

    Read less »
    Mindaugas Balčiauskas

    Mindaugas Balčiauskas

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    I'm a visual editor at Bored Panda. I kickstart my day with a mug of coffee bigger than my head, ready to tackle Photoshop. I navigate through the digital jungle with finesse, fueled by bamboo breaks and caffeine kicks. When the workday winds down, you might catch me devouring bamboo snacks while binging on the latest TV show, gaming or I could be out in nature, soaking up the tranquility and communing with my inner panda.

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    Noez 🇸🇪
    Community Member
    5 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As my "lifestyle choice" is being heterosexual and I openly support and will fight for the LGBTQ community I would never invite that bigot b***h to anything.

    Vicky Zar
    Community Member
    5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OR you could invite them as the only hetero couple. I imagine that to be fun for them. Lol

    Load More Replies...
    Bethanie Marshall
    Community Member
    5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm not a religious person, but when I see this type of hate I always want to say 'why don't you let God decide whether they go to hell? Why do you feel the need to hurt these people with your hurtful words?' Of course I'm to nervous to say it.

    Reilly Beryll
    Community Member
    5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    From a Christian: that’s what we’re supposed to do! Be kind! Let God do the judging! That’s not our job. (At least, this is what I’ve been taught and have learned myself.) People need to just chill out and be nice to others, and treat others decently. (You’re getting an upvote. Enjoy!)

    Load More Replies...
    Matt
    Community Member
    5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was born gay and if I had a choice I would've been born pansexual. I also would've been born with flamethrowers for arms that had a lucky charms cereal attachment...

    Reilly Beryll
    Community Member
    5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If I could have chosen, I’d have had a set of antlers, and I’d have been straight, and expelled butterflies when I puked. Sadly, we are only human, and we can’t change these things.

    Load More Replies...
    Load More Comments
    Noez 🇸🇪
    Community Member
    5 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As my "lifestyle choice" is being heterosexual and I openly support and will fight for the LGBTQ community I would never invite that bigot b***h to anything.

    Vicky Zar
    Community Member
    5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OR you could invite them as the only hetero couple. I imagine that to be fun for them. Lol

    Load More Replies...
    Bethanie Marshall
    Community Member
    5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm not a religious person, but when I see this type of hate I always want to say 'why don't you let God decide whether they go to hell? Why do you feel the need to hurt these people with your hurtful words?' Of course I'm to nervous to say it.

    Reilly Beryll
    Community Member
    5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    From a Christian: that’s what we’re supposed to do! Be kind! Let God do the judging! That’s not our job. (At least, this is what I’ve been taught and have learned myself.) People need to just chill out and be nice to others, and treat others decently. (You’re getting an upvote. Enjoy!)

    Load More Replies...
    Matt
    Community Member
    5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was born gay and if I had a choice I would've been born pansexual. I also would've been born with flamethrowers for arms that had a lucky charms cereal attachment...

    Reilly Beryll
    Community Member
    5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If I could have chosen, I’d have had a set of antlers, and I’d have been straight, and expelled butterflies when I puked. Sadly, we are only human, and we can’t change these things.

    Load More Replies...
    Load More Comments
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