Arya, we think it’s great that you defy stereotypes but your email address seems a little unprofessional? We’re not sure what exactly a Faceless Man is? We’ll have to request your list of names to find out. The languages you speak don’t appear to be applicable to the job, did you learn them traveling?

on oh Jon, you’re right you do have impressive hair. We love a loyal employee, we really like to keep employee turnover to a minimum. We’ve had many health and safety risk assessments and you’re at very low risk of your life being in danger here. Moping around wouldn’t be good for the office vibe, but we do offer health and well-being services as part of your employee benefits package.

Daenerys it seems like you get a little power mad. Mass-murder, did you mention this on the ‘criminal convictions’ section of the application? And what exactly are you setting on fire? Your titles are impressive. You appear to have done so much for your age, we like quick learners here!

Bran, you seem extremely brave and we are blown away by your skills. Knowing things is a great start but we’re not sure about you making people feel awkward. Do you know too much maybe? We have a nice outdoor seating area but I’ll be transparent, there isn’t a Weirwood tree in sight. Nice new title, how did you get that?

Tormund seems like a strong candidate that’s confident and social. Strong leadership skills are always advantageous. However, we don’t supply milk for employees so he would need to bring his own.

Why has Tyrion nearly been murdered so many times? We’d need a strategic addition around the office but we’re not looking for an acrobat. Out of the box thinking is how we stay competitive in our industry but your reference to drinking alcohol when things go bad may hold the application back.

Samwell, it seems as though you feel the need to prove yourself and we’re impressed. Our CEO found his long lost ancestor on Ancestry.com so he’ll be thrilled when I pass your CV on. I often read too, sometimes I cry at the same time.

We’re not sure Jaime would be a safe selection, his work experience is impressive though. He seems conflicted with himself and we would need an ethical member of staff. The role would require him to press CTRL + ALT + DEL.

Sansa doesn’t stand out compared to other candidates but we love that she learns from both the good and bad. The top achievement causes concern, but we would like lemon cake in the office.

Wow Cersei, what an impressive work experience history. We’re not into micromanaging, unfortunately. As a millennial office, we’re all about collaboration within our team. Maybe we could bond over wine subscriptions though. We don’t like to discriminate applications but there are a couple of red flags.