Woman’s Fiancé Lets His Mom Try On Her Wedding Dress, Knowing She Would Be Livid, Drama Ensues

Depends on whether those "conditions" are healthy boundaries that they want to express clearly or not. These particular conditions are definitely BS.

its her dress. She bought it. She said no to the woman wearing it and then the woman went behind her back with her fiance' and put it on! If you are good with someone ignoring your wishes and then shaming for it, good on you but this woman is not being unreasonable in asking her future MIL to respect her belongings. Where does it stop then? honeslty you seem like an AH if you dont respect peoples belongings or their requests to not touch them.

I don't know.. Could be that the whole idea just grossed her out, you know.. the mom wanting to be in the bridal gown belonging to the bride of her son.. I'm sure if it had been anyone else it would not have been such a gross idea.. It feels incestuous to me and it may have been the confirmation of the suspicion the bride-to-be had already of heir bond.

How about she told her repeatedly no, then comes home to find the fiance complicit in going behind her back. Neither the fiance nor the FMIL feel her boundaries are valid, and most likely in the future will cross them as they please. Guess that's ok though.

Yes, but it's HER dress, she paid for it, she gets to decide who wears it or not.

Yeah, I am amazed at how the OPs ego makes a situation which should be pretty cut and dry (the fiancé and mil are ässholes) into an “everybody sucks here” situation real fast.

Anyone else wearing the dress would be okay except for fiance going behid her back that is the main problem. But Mil wearing it? From that moment the dress would be dirty to me i would never wear it after that

I mean if it would have just been a normal shirt I wouldn't want someone else to wear my clothes. In this case it's also an item that may or may not be washable, so I can see why OP thinks it's gross. So OP's boundaries are reasonable, but she doesn't need to add the whole Brides are special speech

I really don't think "I don't want someone else to put on the most expensive garment I will ever own, which also happens to be white and difficult to clean and may have lots of fiddly, easily damaged parts, before I even get to wear it to the event I bought it for" is really that insane or precious. That's without getting into the creepiness factor of a woman saying she wants to try on the clothes of her son's wife-to-be.

I kinda understand her though. Someone wore her wedding dress before the wedding even took place and it’s his MOTHER wearing HER wedding dress. It honestly sends a kind of incestuous message and it’s definitely not okay to wear someone’s clothes without their consent, especially BEFORE an important event that the clothing is meant for (I could understand letting someone try it on after but before is weird at best).

I agree. But I also think it's psychotic that the MIL was insisting on wearing it and the fiance went through an elaborate rouse to help her do it behind the bride to be's back. Like?? What is wrong with these people?

Yeah. I'm with the ESH people on this one. I can understand being pissed because she'd told her no already and they went behind her back. But blackmailing for the money seems pretty bad. And the whole terms and conditions the hubby presented in order to buy a new dress. Really makes me think they're not going to work out. Seems like a cut your losses at this point deal (for both of them).

It doesn't matter why she doesn't want the dress anymore: her MIL should still have respected her wishes. If I say "I'm going to do X if you do Y", then you do Y anyway, you're still partially responsible for X because you -knew- what the result would be. Had the MIL never "tried on" the dress, this wouldn't even be an issue. OP specifically said to all involved that she didn't want anyone else wearing the dress.

She has some unsolved problems and needs therapist, clearly. Until then, they just can sell the dress and buy another from that money.

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I am also with ESH team here. I mean what fiancee and FMIL did was obviously atrocious, and I understand the need of boundaries etc. He behaved terribly from the start till finish. Also whole situation is just gross. But I don't like this "ONLY bride can wear this dress ONCE" reasoning, seems like a waste of money and resources and a bit superstitious. And blackmail is a*****e move. In general I feel they will not work out.

they're all egregious but the one about not letting her use facebook is the biggest red flag...