"Bite my shiny metal a*s." — Bender

"Shut up and take my money!" — Fry

“Oh wait, you’re serious. Let me laugh even harder.” — Bender

"By the way, I took the liberty of fertilizing your caviar." — Dr. John Zoidberg

"Blackmail is such an ugly word. I prefer extortion. The ‘X’ makes it sound cool." — Bender

"At the risk of sounding negative, no." — Leela

"Ugh, it’s like a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up." — Fry

"I’m so embarrassed, I wish everybody else was dead!" — Bender

"I really ought to do something but I am already in my pajamas." — Professor Farnsworth

"Hey sexy mama. Wanna kill all humans?" — Bender

"I’m going to go build my own theme park! With blackjack! And hookers! In fact, forget the park!" — Bender

"Society is never gonna make any progress until we all learn to pretend to like each other." — Leela

"We need rest. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised." — Zapp Brannigan

"This is the worst kind of discrimination. The kind against me!" — Bender

"I hope he didn’t die. Unless he left a note naming me his successor, then I hope he did die." — Bender

"Now, now. There will be plenty of time to discuss your objections when and if you return." — Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth

"Finally, a uniform I'd be happy to be caught dead in!" — Amy Kroker

"I got your distress call and came here as soon as I wanted to." — Zapp Brannigan

"Did everything just taste purple for a second?" — Fry

"Why can’t she just drink herself happy like a normal person?" — Bender

"That young man fills me with hope. Plus some other emotions that are weird and deeply confusing." — Zapp Brannigan

"Amy, technology isn’t intrinsically good or evil. It’s how it’s used. Like the Death Ray." — Professor Farnsworth

"Have you ever tried simply turning off the TV… sitting down with your kids… and hitting them?" — Bender

"I never thought it would end this way, gunned down by Santa Claus." — Fry

"Give me your biggest, strongest, cheapest drink!" — Bender

"Being a robot is great, but we don’t have emotions, and sometimes that makes me very sad." — Bender

"Wait, I’m having one of those things. You know, a headache with pictures." — Fry

"If rich people think it’s good, I will buy it. One art, please!" — Dr. Zoidberg

"You’re a pimple on society’s ass and you’ll never amount to anything!" — Bender

"If you ask me, it's mighty suspicious. I'm gonna call the police. Right after I flush some things." — Hermes Conrad

"Honey, I wouldn’t talk about taste, if was wearing a lime green tank top." — Bender

"If we hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate." — Zapp Brannigan

"Fry, remember when I told you to finish your stories one sentence earlier?" — Leela

"We know nothing about their history, their language, or what they look like, but we can assume this – They stand for everything that we don’t stand for. And also, they told me you guys look like dorks." — Zapp Brannigan

"She’s built like a steak house, but handles like a bistro." — Zapp Brannigan

"We’ll soon stage an attack on technology worthy of being chronicled in an anthem by Rush!" — Bender

"Valentine’s Day is coming? Oh crap – I forgot to get a girlfriend again." — Fry

"When you look this good, you don’t have to know anything!" — Fry

"In the game of chess you can never let your adversary see your pieces." — Zapp Brannigan

"Fry, it's been years since medical school, so remind me. disemboweling in your species: fatal or non-fatal?" — Dr. John Zoidberg

"My story is a lot like yours, only more interesting 'cause it involves robots." — Bender

"Dammit Kif, where’s the little umbrella? That’s what makes it a scotch on the rocks!" — Zapp Brannnigan

"Oh, cruel fate, to be thusly boned. Ask not for whom the bone bones. It bones for thee." — Bender

"I’m back, baby!" — Bender

"Well, if jacking on will make strangers think I’m cool, I’ll do it." — Bender

"I got ants in my butt, and I need to strut." — Bender

"I don’t remember ever fighting Godzilla… But that is so what I would have done!" — Bender

"You know what cheers me up? Other people’s misfortune." — Bender

"Well, you obviously won't listen to reason. so, I guess I'll listen to idiotic-ness and come with you." — Leela

"Stop exploding you cowards!" — Zapp Brannigan

"Wow! Sporty go-cart, Leela! So hip and sexy. Not like you at all." — Amy Wong

"You win again, gravity." — Zapp Brannigan

"I surrender and volunteer for treason." — Zapp Brannigan

"You can't keep boogieing like this. You'll come down with a fever of some sort." — Leela

"Men who call too much are the worst... I bet." — Leela

"Two oil changes for the price of one! Now if I could afford the one, and the car." — Dr. Zoidberg