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What do you think when you hear words like Miso, Emperor, or Kale? Well, I guess we’re all thinking the same. But what if I tell you this is how parents name their kids? And celebrities are notorious for that—just think of X Æ A-12, the baby of Elon Musk and Grimes, Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow’s daughter Apple, and Suri, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’s daughter. And it gets even weirder than that.

So today, we’re diving into a notorious collection of the weirdest, most unfortunate, hilarious names people have heard. It will make us question the role names have in our lives, and make us wonder if they should maybe be taken a little more seriously.

After all, the world is already cruel enough, and if there’s a name tag “Ana L.” on a guest card, it may as well be given a chance to show its nasty side. So, hey parents, yes, we’re looking at you, please tell us, what on earth were you thinking on that day?

#1

To Briefly Return To A Previous Theme Of “Great Names”.if You Need A Vasectomy In The Austin Texas Area - Dr Dick Chopp Is Your Guy

To Briefly Return To A Previous Theme Of “Great Names”.if You Need A Vasectomy In The Austin Texas Area - Dr Dick Chopp Is Your Guy

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    #2

    Now That's A Great Name For A Neuroscientist

    Now That's A Great Name For A Neuroscientist

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    The name, whatever it’d be, is really up to parents to decide. I mean, it would all be so much scarier if the kids could name themselves at the age they’re smart enough to decide. But since people can’t walk around with numbers as if it was some twisted Squid Game-like scenario, they have to be called something.

    But little do people who have never been in such a position know, naming babies is harder than one might think. The one at the top of your list could get an automatic veto from your partner. And deciding to share your choice with your friend may lead to strong opinions you weren’t expecting. And if after all the sleepless nights, you come up with a combination, you come to realize that the initials are the last thing you want for the kid.

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    #6

    Harry Baals For Mayor

    Harry Baals For Mayor

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    SykesDaMan
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There was a rapper in the 90's -part of the duo One and One- who named himself Harry Balz. And it was funny to me. But to have this as a real name is on another level! :)

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    So how do you pick a name that will stand the test of time and the judgment of others? First off, you should get ready for the fact that the first name idea may not be the one. Ask yourself if this moniker will sound good, or rather, completely ridiculous in 10 years. Will other kids be able to shout that name out loud in a school yard? And will the child be condemned for explaining their name to every stranger they meet?

    Avoiding passing trends when naming a kid is a great idea. Names to avoid include things like misspelled names (think Jakxsen and Rybekkah), random punctuation that serves no purpose (Prin’cess and D’Lilah), pop-culture references (Khaleesi and Katniss), word names with a strange spelling twist (Diezel and Spontaniouse), and out-there hipster names (Amadeus and McCoy).

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    #8

    A Republican Candidates Unfortunate Name

    A Republican Candidates Unfortunate Name

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    WilvanderHeijden
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Rich White is very common in the GOP. It's quite amazing that a lot of poor white keep voting for them.

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    #10

    Perfect Name For A Lawyer

    Perfect Name For A Lawyer

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    #11

    Omg

    Omg

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    AnnaBanana
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I certainly don't mean to be rude by asking this question (or racist or anything like that), but why to African Americans do this???

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    #12

    Honestly, I'm Not Surprised To See Someone With A Name Like This In Small Claims Court

    Honestly, I'm Not Surprised To See Someone With A Name Like This In Small Claims Court

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    #15

    Rich Will Wanket

    Rich Will Wanket

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    #17

    I Met This Guy Ar Burger King, A Asked If I Could Take A Picture. It Was His Real Name!

    I Met This Guy Ar Burger King, A Asked If I Could Take A Picture. It Was His Real Name!

    Shotdownace Report

    #18

    Sackrider

    Sackrider

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    #19

    Surely A Form Of Child Abuse?

    Surely A Form Of Child Abuse?

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    AzKhaleesi
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would've never gotten that had it not been explained. What in the actual fk also... the baby does not find this amusing.

    Francis
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    in Gernmany and Switzerland (and i guess other european countries) this wouldn't be allowed!

    ZAPanda
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    hmm when I saw this with the capital VIII, I got it immediately, BUT... here's the catch. Latin pronunciation (IE ROMAN) is not in fact "eight", it is "octo". So well done parents, you've named your child koctolyn.

    MyOpinionHasBeenServed
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She's going to have a hard time explaining her name and then explaining Roman numerals, just like I have to with the post office people when I need my money order for a business that has Roman numeral II. All I get from them is "I don't think we have Roman numerals on our keyboard. I'm not sure how to get the 2 lines." *facepalm*

    Marco Conti
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You could try to sell them Roman Numerals keyboards to solve their problem.

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    Marco Hub-Dub
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It still sounds the same as the name she’s tired of hearing.

    Suzi Q
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You shouldn't name your kid something that has to be explained to everyone!

    Steve Barnett
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Parents need to think ahead. Saying your name isn’t a problem, as soon as you write it down or someone reads it, resume etc, they will ALWAYS get ‘Ooh, that’s interesting. How come you spell it like that? Cue tiresome explanation, again and again and again…

    Marco Conti
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So many words to convey a very simple message "We are idiots and we decided to ruin our daughter's life". There! Short and to the point. (I am impressed they know Roman Numerals. Too bad they think their daughter is a vanity license plate)

    SuperChicken
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dear heavens, I thought it's pronounced as, kveelyn. Ay-yai-yai, poor child.🤦‍♀️

    Candy corn
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My sister is Caitlin, which is a pretty uncommon spelling of the name. You could have done that instead of this ridiculousness

    Huddo's sister
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was going to say, my sister is spelled the same and gets annoyed when people spell it wrong. Even when she says it's the Irish spelling etc. I personally think it is much nicer that way. I'm the only one who gets to call her Cait though.

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    Tiny Dancer
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm a hippy-dippy pacifist, but I would love a chance to punch these insufferable parents right in the kissers! Selfish morons.

    VulcansAreSexy
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Now our daughter is truly unique!" So your daughter wasn't unique enough already??

    SCamp
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And the Gold Coast, Queensland is definitely THE place in Australia where this would happen

    Daniel Marsh
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    After such howls of protest, her parents decided against naming her sister, Vivian, and instead chose Sixsixan.

    Analyn Lahr
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Looking at it, I was not pronouncing it Kaitlyn till I read the explanation. I thought it was more like K-villyn.

    Hollysmom
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I just don't see the point. Although no one will ever get it, it does not change her name. Only increases her problems. All people are unique, regardless of their name. This is just ridiculous, selfish, and pretentious.

    Duncan
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Poor kid, I doubt anyone will read the roman number. I readis as 'K-villian

    Roxy Eastland
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We all know that nearly all the letters in these magazines were composed by the staff anyway, so I'm calling fake on that one.

    Paula Roberts
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    lol not unique at all you go to the playground and yell Kaitlyn all kids with that name will look round or come running, its simply a crap spelling the poor child will either pay to have changed when she's older or change her name completely, A suggestion to all parents out there wanting to do this to your kids do your name first give it a silly spelling that you have to explain to people every day

    Strawberry Hellcat
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Poor kid will absolutely hVIII her name until the moment she's old enough to change it.

    Zaza
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    People who do this s**t need to be banned from reproducing

    Jaekry
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Keightlyn would be much more logical to me (and still different enough I think.)

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    #20

    That's An Even Better Name You Have There

    That's An Even Better Name You Have There

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    #21

    Gay Saylor

    Gay Saylor

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    #23

    Tokyo Sexwale, The Best Name In The Universe?

    Tokyo Sexwale, The Best Name In The Universe?

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    #24

    Great Name For A Marijuana Researcher

    Great Name For A Marijuana Researcher

    xilefogayole3 Report

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    AzKhaleesi
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I work in a prison and we had a volunteer come and do AA classes for the inmates and I s**t you not his name was Hennessey. I laughed so hard and was like yea that dude isn't a trigger at all.

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    #26

    When You Think Criminal Names Aren't Obvious Enough

    When You Think Criminal Names Aren't Obvious Enough

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    #27

    Dr. Grossweiner

    Dr. Grossweiner

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    #29

    Judy Graham Swallows

    Judy Graham Swallows

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    #32

    Tiny Kox

    Tiny Kox

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    Wang Zhuang
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I refused to believe his parents named him Tiny. He's using that as a nickname on purpose. He's gotta be.

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    #33

    New Post Go Ad-Free Saw A Guy Jerking It On TV

    New Post Go Ad-Free Saw A Guy Jerking It On TV

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    #34

    I Have An Unfortunate Last Name. Sometimes I Get Targeted Advertisements, That Can Go Horribly Wrong

    I Have An Unfortunate Last Name. Sometimes I Get Targeted Advertisements, That Can Go Horribly Wrong

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    #36

    I See Your Most Unfortunate High School Teacher Name, And Raise You A Most Unfortunate Elementary School Teacher Name

    I See Your Most Unfortunate High School Teacher Name, And Raise You A Most Unfortunate Elementary School Teacher Name

    Int0TheV0id Report

    #37

    Fagley Dork

    Fagley Dork

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    #39

    Ok Suk Whang

    Ok Suk Whang

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    K R
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

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    #40

    Worst Name Ever

    Worst Name Ever

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    Alethia Nyx
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This to me isn't that bad, it's a perfectly normal Korean name that just happens to sound not quite right in English. It's not like the people who have knowingly given their child a ridiculous name.

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    #41

    Best Name For A Bbc News Correspondent

    Best Name For A Bbc News Correspondent

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    SykesDaMan
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not his real name but a mistake by the team: https://www.tvnewsroom.co.uk/biography-images/matthew-price-3530/

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    #42

    Here’s To The People With Unfortunate Names

    Here’s To The People With Unfortunate Names

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    #44

    It’s In The Name

    It’s In The Name

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    #46

    Very Unfortunate Name Indeed

    Very Unfortunate Name Indeed

    SirThatsIllegal Report

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    Magoomba
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I used to have an insurance man named D**k Small. Phone book listed him as Small D**k. It wasn’t long before he was going by ‘Richard’.

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    #47

    I Found The Worst Name

    I Found The Worst Name

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    #48

    Misty Hyman

    Misty Hyman

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    Robert T
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    To be fair, any first name is going to sound bad with that surname!

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    #49

    Clint Head Is The Worst Name To Be Capitalized

    Clint Head Is The Worst Name To Be Capitalized

    doogbynnoj Report

    #50

    Yes, I'd Like To Open A Bank Account. Oh, My Name? Uhhh...

    Yes, I'd Like To Open A Bank Account. Oh, My Name? Uhhh...

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    Chris
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He's a DJ. And a pretty famous one at that. It isn't his real name.

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    #52

    Basically The Worst Name Ever

    Basically The Worst Name Ever

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    #54

    Isaac Butt

    Isaac Butt

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    Hannah Edwards
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Looks like he’s got a shih tzu sleeping on his head. Why didn’t he brush his hair before the photo was taken!

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    #56

    Ironic Title And Name Of Person In This Article In The Newspaper

    Ironic Title And Name Of Person In This Article In The Newspaper

    Bacterial420 Report

    #57

    The Best Worst Name Ever Given To A Child

    The Best Worst Name Ever Given To A Child

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    K R
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not feeling these foreign or non Western "worst" names. They're just foreign

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    #58

    Translated From Arabic, It Is A Female Lawyer's Name: Athraa Alhasny

    Translated From Arabic, It Is A Female Lawyer's Name: Athraa Alhasny

    Ninokuni13 Report

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    M O'Connell
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Machine translation can be awful no matter what the languages its going between.

    #59

    My Sister In Law Doesn’t Have A Middle Name. Her New Middle Name Is Now None

    My Sister In Law Doesn’t Have A Middle Name. Her New Middle Name Is Now None

    estihaiden42 Report

    #60

    Please Tell Me His Middle Name Is Claude!!??!! Anyway, The British Are About To Launch There Secret Weapon Against Covid, Operation Bloodsport-Kickboxer-Timecop!

    Please Tell Me His Middle Name Is Claude!!??!! Anyway, The British Are About To Launch There Secret Weapon Against Covid, Operation Bloodsport-Kickboxer-Timecop!

    Tehgumchum Report

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    steven mayes
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No one knocks the JVT. He's one of the United Kingdom's best forces for good. An absolute star amongst a real shower of 5hit.

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    #61

    What An Unfortunate Name This Dude Has

    What An Unfortunate Name This Dude Has

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    Robert T
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There's a road called Wanker Drive somewhere in Pennsylvania. Doesn't seem to have the same connotations in the US as it does here.

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    #62

    Worst Name Ever?

    Worst Name Ever?

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    #63

    Wow, These Names Exist?

    Wow, These Names Exist?

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    Daria B
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't think these are real. If these are supposed to be Korean, Lee would be first. Also, no such name composition such as "sheet" (how would you write it anyway? 싵? 쉿? 싯?) And there's no "f" in Korean. Now, this could be mimicking another Asian country, but only China comes to mind, which, again, although I can't speak Mandarin, these don't seem to be real name systems. On another note, it's been well known that there's people out there subscribing with fake accounts with made-up punny names.

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    #64

    Best Or Worst Pediatrician Name?

    Best Or Worst Pediatrician Name?

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    Mark Howell
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I read that as Asthma Butt, and wondered what lind of inhaler ;o)

    #65

    Jakob Fugger

    Jakob Fugger

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    Sarcastic Cow
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That was a very wealthy renaissance family...this one was called ´the Rich´ and is considered to be one of the wealthiest people ever to have lived.

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    #66

    Can't Decide If This Is The Best Or Worst Name Ever

    Can't Decide If This Is The Best Or Worst Name Ever

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    Jennie-Lind Normand
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I know of some restaurants that allow fake/nick names to keep servers safe from creepy customers

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    #67

    Tabaccojuice

    Tabaccojuice

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    Miss Frankfurter
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe an indigenous last name. Tobacco is used in important rituals in indigenous culture. Many here in Canada have unusual last names (by white standards) but go back in history to names in their culture.

    #68

    Poon Ho

    Poon Ho

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    #69

    You'd Think You Have A Bad Name Until You Meet This Guy

    You'd Think You Have A Bad Name Until You Meet This Guy

    tbekkerman Report

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    #71

    I Think Asians Get Hate Because Of Their Complicated Names

    I Think Asians Get Hate Because Of Their Complicated Names

    jumbybird Report

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    Mewton’s Third Paw
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Whoever posted this here got totally wooshed. Read the caption in sarcasm. This article as a whole is so inappropriate.

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    #72

    That Name

    That Name

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