What do you think when you hear words like Miso, Emperor, or Kale? Well, I guess we’re all thinking the same. But what if I tell you this is how parents name their kids? And celebrities are notorious for that—just think of X Æ A-12, the baby of Elon Musk and Grimes, Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow’s daughter Apple, and Suri, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’s daughter. And it gets even weirder than that.
So today, we’re diving into a notorious collection of the weirdest, most unfortunate, hilarious names people have heard. It will make us question the role names have in our lives, and make us wonder if they should maybe be taken a little more seriously.
After all, the world is already cruel enough, and if there’s a name tag “Ana L.” on a guest card, it may as well be given a chance to show its nasty side. So, hey parents, yes, we’re looking at you, please tell us, what on earth were you thinking on that day?
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To Briefly Return To A Previous Theme Of “Great Names”.if You Need A Vasectomy In The Austin Texas Area - Dr Dick Chopp Is Your Guy
Now That's A Great Name For A Neuroscientist
These Were The Names Of My Dad's Teachers In Pre-School
The name, whatever it’d be, is really up to parents to decide. I mean, it would all be so much scarier if the kids could name themselves at the age they’re smart enough to decide. But since people can’t walk around with numbers as if it was some twisted Squid Game-like scenario, they have to be called something.
But little do people who have never been in such a position know, naming babies is harder than one might think. The one at the top of your list could get an automatic veto from your partner. And deciding to share your choice with your friend may lead to strong opinions you weren’t expecting. And if after all the sleepless nights, you come up with a combination, you come to realize that the initials are the last thing you want for the kid.
Beezow
The Big Question Of The Commonwealth Games
Harry Baals For Mayor
There was a rapper in the 90's -part of the duo One and One- who named himself Harry Balz. And it was funny to me. But to have this as a real name is on another level! :)
So how do you pick a name that will stand the test of time and the judgment of others? First off, you should get ready for the fact that the first name idea may not be the one. Ask yourself if this moniker will sound good, or rather, completely ridiculous in 10 years. Will other kids be able to shout that name out loud in a school yard? And will the child be condemned for explaining their name to every stranger they meet?
Avoiding passing trends when naming a kid is a great idea. Names to avoid include things like misspelled names (think Jakxsen and Rybekkah), random punctuation that serves no purpose (Prin’cess and D’Lilah), pop-culture references (Khaleesi and Katniss), word names with a strange spelling twist (Diezel and Spontaniouse), and out-there hipster names (Amadeus and McCoy).
Saw This Last Name On The News Today
A Republican Candidates Unfortunate Name
Rich White is very common in the GOP. It's quite amazing that a lot of poor white keep voting for them.
“Hey Guy, What’s Your Name?”
Perfect Name For A Lawyer
Omg
I certainly don't mean to be rude by asking this question (or racist or anything like that), but why to African Americans do this???
Honestly, I'm Not Surprised To See Someone With A Name Like This In Small Claims Court
Judge Willie Stroker
Unfortunate Name
Rich Will Wanket
And The Award For The Worst Name Goes To
I Met This Guy Ar Burger King, A Asked If I Could Take A Picture. It Was His Real Name!
Sackrider
Yeah, that pink-black colour combo and a word ´sax´ doesn´t help.
Surely A Form Of Child Abuse?
I would've never gotten that had it not been explained. What in the actual fk also... the baby does not find this amusing.
That's An Even Better Name You Have There
Gay Saylor
Boss Last Name
Ok so let me guess this guy's parents still find potty humor funny. Sounds like a grade schoolers ultimate bad guy name for a readout loud story.
Seriously, I bet they're the type of people who "won't upvote you because you have 69 votes, get it? 69. Sex funny."
Load More Replies...Tokyo Sexwale, The Best Name In The Universe?
Great Name For A Marijuana Researcher
I work in a prison and we had a volunteer come and do AA classes for the inmates and I s**t you not his name was Hennessey. I laughed so hard and was like yea that dude isn't a trigger at all.
Lucious Pusey
When You Think Criminal Names Aren't Obvious Enough
Dr. Grossweiner
Dat Ho
Judy Graham Swallows
Unfortunate Name Tag I Found At Work
Ballitch
Tiny Kox
I refused to believe his parents named him Tiny. He's using that as a nickname on purpose. He's gotta be.
New Post Go Ad-Free Saw A Guy Jerking It On TV
I Have An Unfortunate Last Name. Sometimes I Get Targeted Advertisements, That Can Go Horribly Wrong
What An Interesting Name...
I See Your Most Unfortunate High School Teacher Name, And Raise You A Most Unfortunate Elementary School Teacher Name
Fagley Dork
B. J. Day
Ok Suk Whang
Worst Name Ever
Since I loathe my birth certificate name, and prefer my nickname, please just.... please leave us alone. We didn't ask for these stupid AF names, we didn't want them, please stop. Please.
I keep getting calls from somebody named "Scam Likely." All she ever wants is my SSN and my credit card, so I just have that information on my voicemail message now so I don't have to deal with it.
I really do hope you are kidding. Like, I am 14 and don't have a phone, and I understand that it's literally telling you that you might not want to answer it BECAUSE IT'S PROBABLY A SCAM.
Load More Replies...If I'd be an 11 years old kid, I'd probably laugh at some of them. As a grown up person, I just find this post racist and offensive.
Well I'm probably going to die offensive, as long as there's anyone called D**k or Fannie, I'm going to snigger in my head
Load More Replies...I went from summer castle to summer Mason. So there's that. And yes I have had to verify my name 10 times with Google. They didn't believe me.
see now that is an example of algorithmic naivity at best or racism at worst. Just because a name is not english does not make it a fake name. And vice versa, just because a name is an english word, does not make it a fake name. Smith is just a guy who beats iron. Baker is just a guy who makes bread. Cooper is just a guy who puts rings around barrels. Etc etc. Really tedious.
Load More Replies...This one I think is funny and not offensive (like some on here). 1465375_62...4c4406.jpg
I came here to see interesting names like Miso and Kale (mentioned in the article blurb), but instead got potty jokes about people with last names like Weiner. It's sorta funny for a second, but then you grow up and realize it's just a surname.
Also it's only "funny" because americans mispronounce it. Wiener is pronounced, correctly, Vienna, and it means Vienna citizen. Like New Yorker = person from NY. Pronouncing Wiener as weener is what started this nonsense. If your surname was Vienna, no one would mistake you for a sausage.
Load More Replies...There is a law firm in my local town called Vile & Vile.
Load More Replies...I know someone whose wifes maiden name was Katz, a common Jewish name, but her first name was an old Yiddish name Fraidle. The Yiddish nickname for Fraidle is Fraidy. They literally gave their child the name Fraidy Katz to grow up with.
See now that's really silly in an english-speaking country.
Load More Replies...Hmm I think it's unfortunate that there are non-english examples here because the idea of the post, i think, was to have english speaking people whose parents didn't put thought into their kids' names. When we were having kids we set as our FIRST goal: what name would not be made fun of? Because we both had been teased at school for having funny names. Well, not funny, just unusual.
True story. My sister and I were in a Walmart . Two adorable little boys were in the cart in front of us. We made the unfortunate inquiry as their names. Trigger and Shooter. (Side note/bonus round - we are in Texas)
That's very unfortunate. Flag them with the Feds asap so when they become teenagers and get their first gerns at walmart they are already under observation.
Load More Replies...Went to HS with a kid named Garry W**g, I remember once in summer school he thought it'd be funny to call up his little brother, Harry W**g in front of the entire class and make him cry, poor kid, he was like 11-12 back then. Proved us all how that didn't stop him though, went to college on a wrestling scholarship, got into SpaceX as an intern, still there, kicked all asses with the name Harry W**g
Almost an entire generation of people in my town where born with the attending gynecologist Naaktgeboren (born naked).
Wow. Now that's an appropriate name for the career. I knew a woman called Mrs Driver once and I was very disappointed that she was not in fact in charge of droves of cattle.
Load More Replies...At work I once had bloods for a woman whose name was Baby Fiddler. I couldn't analyse it for about ten minutes as I couldn't stop laughing. I mean you'd just change it wouldn't you?? Or if it's her married name, stick with whatever her maiden name was. Surely it can't have been worse.
BP this post is ugly and offensive. Comments are juvenile and mean. Really surprised to see some regular BP posters defending so many of these. The lack of sensitivity toward names of other cultures in particular is both alarming and disgusting.
You dislike it so much, you don't have to read it. Click out.
Load More Replies...Most of these are unfortunate last names, I find. Although with some, the addition of the first name clearly made them worse. But not a whole lot of just truly odd first names.
You got composer Julius Fučík, the guy who made Entrance of the Gladiators aka clown music
yulius fu-chick, I think is the pronunciation, so it only looks funny if you can't pronounce serbian/croatian letters.
Load More Replies...My mom went to school with an Ima Hogg, and was in the military with Merry Christmas.
Load More Replies...I work for a parish sometimes. A while ago we had a kid called Diablo and the parents asked for their child to be baptized.
Tell us more about whether the water boiled etc...? I mean really surely you as parents should know the meaning of the name? Unless they were just big fans of the Blizzard game and didn't realise it meant devil?
Load More Replies...I was disappointed it wasn't here! I loved when it was on The Chase.
Load More Replies...Anddddd now here we have it..... Get offended by each and every little thing. 🤦♀️🤦♀️
Well, just as well you don't have a funny surname, otherwise people might have a go at you and make you offended ;-)
Load More Replies...In college, a fellow student who was pre-med was named Joseph Doctor. So if he did go onto medical school, he is now Dr. Doctor.
I have a picture of the name of some expert on a documentary that I watched once because I knew people wouldn't believe me. His name was Dickon Balls
Apologies but I made an error - I went to find the picture and the guy's name was Dickon Love.
Load More Replies...Through the years I have met a D**k Holder (an elderly British man), D**k Luvering, D**k Painter, Penny Million, Bjorn Bjorke, Dorkas Weatherhead, and last names like Glasscock, Kitchen, and Couch.
My mom worked with two women (at different times) who were both named Aquanetta. Aquanet is a brand of hairspray.
There is a Plastic surgeon In Oklahoma City By the named Dr. Love.
I am sorry, I am still waiting for the "funny" part of this post... Laughing at (foreign) names which you mostly just pronounced wrongly is not funny. And trying to find something sex related in everything you hear is funny for, maybe, teens in their puberty, or, I don't know. Is it because some Americans are so deeply shocked by swear words and anything sexual that they are looking for this kind of amusement? No bashing meant, this is an honest question! I mean, same as kids are longing to drink alcohol and smoke cigarettes as long as they are not allowed to, and, as soon as it becomes legal, it also becomes completely lame? I know people whose family names are Fick (fùck), Kotz (vomit), Goebel (also vomit), Geilfuss (horny foot) and the like - usually, people need to be either very drunk or extremely stupid to start making fun of it...
Hon, I think you need to calm down. We think it's funny, you don't have to. That's why WE are on here. WE think it's funny. YOU don't have to.
Load More Replies...Terrible last names are passed on because of the patriarchy. If married hetero couples would just choose the better of their two names, rather than defaulting to the guy’s name, half the people on this list wouldn’t have to suffer.
Know a guy who took on the (foreign) name of his wife and completely discarded his own because he thought his was far too bland and common.
Load More Replies...You can see from my BP id that my last name is 'Waite' . My Sister had a hard time in high-school; she got called 'Heavy' and it bothered her a lot. On the other hand, my Dad was an accountant, and he'd answer the phone with "Waite here," just to get surprised responses.
I feel your sister's pain. I don't have a weight related name, but I am heavy, an have been called so since I was 6 years old.
Load More Replies...There's an OBGYN near Toledo, OH named Peter Johnson. What woman would dare select a doctor with that name, for that specialty?!?!
IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE PERCY JACKSON!!!! If you don't get this, read the Percy Jackson series; it's hilarious.
Load More Replies...I have a weird surname that people mess up all the time. You just have to go with the flow - and get used to spelling it outloud constantly!
Load More Replies...I once knew a Londoner whose real name was Jimmy Riddle which is cockney rhyming slang for... If you are Mr and Mrs Riddle, why call your son Jimmy?
Well Jimmy is the nickname for James so he should really just insist on "James" or "Jacob" (same thing).
Load More Replies...i was watching Indiana Jones other day and i left the credits rolling and i swear there is a D**k Dova and a D**k Rust lol what is happening lol
Dee Eye Cee Kay is in fact just short for Richard. I am not sure which idiot a few hundred years ago decided that Rick wasn't any good and that the other version was the right version. But at any rate, the meaning of Dee Eye Cee Kay to mean something other than the short of Richard, is a LATER thing than the original meaning. Richard as a name means something like good king.
Load More Replies...Former Coworker's family Name was spoken as "bitch". He didn't think it through when he named his daughter Zoe. -.-
I'll be curious to see what the original spelling was. Sounds like it could be serbocroat or something...?
Load More Replies...Worked with an Anita Dyck once. Yeah, I really don't know what her parents were thinking.
I think they are Dutch, it's a Dutch name and very common. Dyck is in Dutch a dike.
Load More Replies...Making fun of foreign names is racist and offensive and not one bit funny.
Not sure why you have a beef with Americans. This is a Lithuanian site
Load More Replies...Since I loathe my birth certificate name, and prefer my nickname, please just.... please leave us alone. We didn't ask for these stupid AF names, we didn't want them, please stop. Please.
I keep getting calls from somebody named "Scam Likely." All she ever wants is my SSN and my credit card, so I just have that information on my voicemail message now so I don't have to deal with it.
I really do hope you are kidding. Like, I am 14 and don't have a phone, and I understand that it's literally telling you that you might not want to answer it BECAUSE IT'S PROBABLY A SCAM.
Load More Replies...If I'd be an 11 years old kid, I'd probably laugh at some of them. As a grown up person, I just find this post racist and offensive.
Well I'm probably going to die offensive, as long as there's anyone called D**k or Fannie, I'm going to snigger in my head
Load More Replies...I went from summer castle to summer Mason. So there's that. And yes I have had to verify my name 10 times with Google. They didn't believe me.
see now that is an example of algorithmic naivity at best or racism at worst. Just because a name is not english does not make it a fake name. And vice versa, just because a name is an english word, does not make it a fake name. Smith is just a guy who beats iron. Baker is just a guy who makes bread. Cooper is just a guy who puts rings around barrels. Etc etc. Really tedious.
Load More Replies...This one I think is funny and not offensive (like some on here). 1465375_62...4c4406.jpg
I came here to see interesting names like Miso and Kale (mentioned in the article blurb), but instead got potty jokes about people with last names like Weiner. It's sorta funny for a second, but then you grow up and realize it's just a surname.
Also it's only "funny" because americans mispronounce it. Wiener is pronounced, correctly, Vienna, and it means Vienna citizen. Like New Yorker = person from NY. Pronouncing Wiener as weener is what started this nonsense. If your surname was Vienna, no one would mistake you for a sausage.
Load More Replies...There is a law firm in my local town called Vile & Vile.
Load More Replies...I know someone whose wifes maiden name was Katz, a common Jewish name, but her first name was an old Yiddish name Fraidle. The Yiddish nickname for Fraidle is Fraidy. They literally gave their child the name Fraidy Katz to grow up with.
See now that's really silly in an english-speaking country.
Load More Replies...Hmm I think it's unfortunate that there are non-english examples here because the idea of the post, i think, was to have english speaking people whose parents didn't put thought into their kids' names. When we were having kids we set as our FIRST goal: what name would not be made fun of? Because we both had been teased at school for having funny names. Well, not funny, just unusual.
True story. My sister and I were in a Walmart . Two adorable little boys were in the cart in front of us. We made the unfortunate inquiry as their names. Trigger and Shooter. (Side note/bonus round - we are in Texas)
That's very unfortunate. Flag them with the Feds asap so when they become teenagers and get their first gerns at walmart they are already under observation.
Load More Replies...Went to HS with a kid named Garry W**g, I remember once in summer school he thought it'd be funny to call up his little brother, Harry W**g in front of the entire class and make him cry, poor kid, he was like 11-12 back then. Proved us all how that didn't stop him though, went to college on a wrestling scholarship, got into SpaceX as an intern, still there, kicked all asses with the name Harry W**g
Almost an entire generation of people in my town where born with the attending gynecologist Naaktgeboren (born naked).
Wow. Now that's an appropriate name for the career. I knew a woman called Mrs Driver once and I was very disappointed that she was not in fact in charge of droves of cattle.
Load More Replies...At work I once had bloods for a woman whose name was Baby Fiddler. I couldn't analyse it for about ten minutes as I couldn't stop laughing. I mean you'd just change it wouldn't you?? Or if it's her married name, stick with whatever her maiden name was. Surely it can't have been worse.
BP this post is ugly and offensive. Comments are juvenile and mean. Really surprised to see some regular BP posters defending so many of these. The lack of sensitivity toward names of other cultures in particular is both alarming and disgusting.
You dislike it so much, you don't have to read it. Click out.
Load More Replies...Most of these are unfortunate last names, I find. Although with some, the addition of the first name clearly made them worse. But not a whole lot of just truly odd first names.
You got composer Julius Fučík, the guy who made Entrance of the Gladiators aka clown music
yulius fu-chick, I think is the pronunciation, so it only looks funny if you can't pronounce serbian/croatian letters.
Load More Replies...My mom went to school with an Ima Hogg, and was in the military with Merry Christmas.
Load More Replies...I work for a parish sometimes. A while ago we had a kid called Diablo and the parents asked for their child to be baptized.
Tell us more about whether the water boiled etc...? I mean really surely you as parents should know the meaning of the name? Unless they were just big fans of the Blizzard game and didn't realise it meant devil?
Load More Replies...I was disappointed it wasn't here! I loved when it was on The Chase.
Load More Replies...Anddddd now here we have it..... Get offended by each and every little thing. 🤦♀️🤦♀️
Well, just as well you don't have a funny surname, otherwise people might have a go at you and make you offended ;-)
Load More Replies...In college, a fellow student who was pre-med was named Joseph Doctor. So if he did go onto medical school, he is now Dr. Doctor.
I have a picture of the name of some expert on a documentary that I watched once because I knew people wouldn't believe me. His name was Dickon Balls
Apologies but I made an error - I went to find the picture and the guy's name was Dickon Love.
Load More Replies...Through the years I have met a D**k Holder (an elderly British man), D**k Luvering, D**k Painter, Penny Million, Bjorn Bjorke, Dorkas Weatherhead, and last names like Glasscock, Kitchen, and Couch.
My mom worked with two women (at different times) who were both named Aquanetta. Aquanet is a brand of hairspray.
There is a Plastic surgeon In Oklahoma City By the named Dr. Love.
I am sorry, I am still waiting for the "funny" part of this post... Laughing at (foreign) names which you mostly just pronounced wrongly is not funny. And trying to find something sex related in everything you hear is funny for, maybe, teens in their puberty, or, I don't know. Is it because some Americans are so deeply shocked by swear words and anything sexual that they are looking for this kind of amusement? No bashing meant, this is an honest question! I mean, same as kids are longing to drink alcohol and smoke cigarettes as long as they are not allowed to, and, as soon as it becomes legal, it also becomes completely lame? I know people whose family names are Fick (fùck), Kotz (vomit), Goebel (also vomit), Geilfuss (horny foot) and the like - usually, people need to be either very drunk or extremely stupid to start making fun of it...
Hon, I think you need to calm down. We think it's funny, you don't have to. That's why WE are on here. WE think it's funny. YOU don't have to.
Load More Replies...Terrible last names are passed on because of the patriarchy. If married hetero couples would just choose the better of their two names, rather than defaulting to the guy’s name, half the people on this list wouldn’t have to suffer.
Know a guy who took on the (foreign) name of his wife and completely discarded his own because he thought his was far too bland and common.
Load More Replies...You can see from my BP id that my last name is 'Waite' . My Sister had a hard time in high-school; she got called 'Heavy' and it bothered her a lot. On the other hand, my Dad was an accountant, and he'd answer the phone with "Waite here," just to get surprised responses.
I feel your sister's pain. I don't have a weight related name, but I am heavy, an have been called so since I was 6 years old.
Load More Replies...There's an OBGYN near Toledo, OH named Peter Johnson. What woman would dare select a doctor with that name, for that specialty?!?!
IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE PERCY JACKSON!!!! If you don't get this, read the Percy Jackson series; it's hilarious.
Load More Replies...I have a weird surname that people mess up all the time. You just have to go with the flow - and get used to spelling it outloud constantly!
Load More Replies...I once knew a Londoner whose real name was Jimmy Riddle which is cockney rhyming slang for... If you are Mr and Mrs Riddle, why call your son Jimmy?
Well Jimmy is the nickname for James so he should really just insist on "James" or "Jacob" (same thing).
Load More Replies...i was watching Indiana Jones other day and i left the credits rolling and i swear there is a D**k Dova and a D**k Rust lol what is happening lol
Dee Eye Cee Kay is in fact just short for Richard. I am not sure which idiot a few hundred years ago decided that Rick wasn't any good and that the other version was the right version. But at any rate, the meaning of Dee Eye Cee Kay to mean something other than the short of Richard, is a LATER thing than the original meaning. Richard as a name means something like good king.
Load More Replies...Former Coworker's family Name was spoken as "bitch". He didn't think it through when he named his daughter Zoe. -.-
I'll be curious to see what the original spelling was. Sounds like it could be serbocroat or something...?
Load More Replies...Worked with an Anita Dyck once. Yeah, I really don't know what her parents were thinking.
I think they are Dutch, it's a Dutch name and very common. Dyck is in Dutch a dike.
Load More Replies...Making fun of foreign names is racist and offensive and not one bit funny.
Not sure why you have a beef with Americans. This is a Lithuanian site
Load More Replies...